Ratchet and Clank: Friendly Fire

by IncredibleMeh

Chapter 2

The crowd was quickly becoming to much to handle as Ratchet and Clank were bombarded with question after question. And no matter how much they insisted to be left alone, the townsfolk just kept getting closer. The presence of pegasi also meant there was no way to make an airborne escape. However, over ten years of saving galaxies means that there is more than just the conventional way to escape a crowd.

Quickly, Ratchet doned the most clever disguise ever contrived. Mustachio Furioso, pride of the flurbian galaxy-verse. (And secretly just Ratchet wearing a fake mustache and purple glasses.) He then calmly walked through the crowd, only to be stopped by Pinkie Pie.

“Hey, were do you think your going? I still haven’t figured out what kind of cake you want for your welcome-to-ponyville-party!”

And again the questions came forth.

“I don’t get it.” Ratchet said. “This disguise worked fine for the drophyds.”

“Ratchet, the size of a drophyd is no more than a foot. If you accounted for the fact that they still require most internal organs other species do, then you have little room for a well-sized brain.”

“I thought how big your brain was didn’t matter how smart you were?”

“Only if it isn’t the size of a pea.”

Just as the crowd was reaching it’s loudest and most obnoxious levels, Ratchet and Clank were teleported out of sight behind the tree by Twilight, who wanted answers from the two. Next to her stood her five best friends, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash.

Ratchet could have sworn the pink one was in the crowd with the others a moment ago.

Twilight had a million thoughts going through her brain right now. She was angry at these two strangers for crashing their whatever it was into her tree, the tree she had lived in for three years, the three years she had forged her greatest friendships, some of her only friendships!

Yet, she was also amazed, and perplexed. One of the two, who at first seemed to be nothing but a magically animated golem crafted from metal parts, had demonstrated the ability to speak and act of it's own free will. Not to mention that it was capable of manipulating time! The secrets to that kind of power had been locked up securely in the Canterlot archives, never to be seen by anyone but the princesses and those they trusted most. But no one could have possibly rediscovered those spells on their own, not unless they were as great a spellcaster as Starswirl the Bearded himself, which was as close to the definition of impossible as you could get.

But how else could they pull any of this off? Trickery, illusion, or some other untold power she was unaware of? She would ask them, but first was the matter of the damage they caused to her home, and hurting her friend.

“ Aren't you going to do anything about the damage you've done?” Twilight asked the two, although she was more directed towards the taller one.

Ratchet was somewhat startled, he hadn't expected that question. “Oh, whoops.” He said, lowering his head in embarrassment. “Sorry about that, we didn't mean to cause any trouble, in fact-”

“It doesn't matter if you didn't mean it!” Twilight interjected “If its broken its broken!”

“Hey hold on a minute, I-”

“Don’t you “hold on a minute” me! Your fixing this, right now!” Twilight ordered, pointing one hoof at the hole in her library.

“Hey look it’s not my fault that-”

“Not your fault!? Of course its your fault, you're the one who crashed that flying machine into my house, and you're the one who hurt my friend!

"So suddenly it's my fault that I accidentally crashed into your house after being brought here by some stinking wormhole, plummeting into the atmosphere of your planet and nearly getting myself killed, turned into a freaking horse, suddenly attacked for no reason. And to top it all off, I was supposed to go on vacation today after only saving at least three galaxies, the very fabric of time and space, and an orphaned child!"

Twilight was to say the least very angry. Not only was this jerk insistent that this whole problem wasn't his fault, but now he was spitting out utter nonsense! The anger was almost uncontainable, and Magic is manipulated by the thought and emotions of the user. The common magical association between anger and fire, and her recent transformation into an alicorn, meant the argument was starting to heat up, literally.

Clank, fully aware of Ratchet’s rather provocative trigger finger, and clearly seeing the the purple mare was a threat, jumped between the two in an attempt to stop the confrontation. “Please, the both of you! There must be a better way to settle this?” He looked up towards Twilight. “Madam, I assure you that whatever you may think of us, we meant no harm to you or your friends, and came here by accident. Will you hear us out?”

Twilight breathed heavily, and the temperature around the immediate area cooled down significantly. “Fine, but afterwards, your fixing this mess.”

Clank nodded his head, but Ratchet simply huffed. He was not in agreement, but was there any other option?

Clank cleared his robotic equivalent of a throat, and prepared to tell them the story of how the got there. “While I’m sure that it may seem absurd to you, I and my friend are are heroes from a galaxy I suspect is quite far from your own. We had planned to take a vacation, but while trying to decide what destination to go to, we encountered a large wormhole, which had transported us outside the atmosphere of your planet, where we promptly crashed.”

Twilight rubbed her forehead. “Hold on, there is no way that you two came from outer space, that craz- Wait, you said you fell through a wormhole?”

“Well, strictly speaking it’s not possible to “fall” through a wormhole when their is an absence of gravity, but yes.” Clank replied.

It was at that moment Twilight had just remembered that earlier that day she was attempting to cast one of the higher level warp spells, intended to create a permanent gate between two points in space. But Pinkie had (once again) interrupted her focus mid-spell, and she had accidentally fired the spell towards the sky, with no destination set for the other end of the portal. In theory if the spell had still remained stable, it would have created a bridge in space between a random location anywhere in the universe, and somewhere outside of the planet’s atmosphere. Anything that went through would have come out in a point in altitude directly above her house.

Twilight’s ear twitched slightly as her brain went into a panicked state. By sheer circumstance she had been the hoof behind everypony’s troubles. If the two “otherworldly visitors” were telling the truth (which given the circumstances, was starting to seem more likely) than her actions would have been the cause of all their problems as well as her own. This was her fault, and she had blamed it all them.

Applejack was the first to notice that Twilight suddenly seemed more stressed. “Hey sugarcube, are you alright? You suddenly started lookin’ mighty worried about somethin’.”

“Oh I’m not worried about anything no nothing at all no there’s nothing to worry about here nope!” Twilight responded nervously. “In fact I was so busy not worrying about anything I completely forgot that um... Snacks, yes snacks! We should all come inside and have some snacks!”

Nopony was convinced, but it was close to lunchtime, and snacks would break the tension.

Comments

[Killabyte]

The amount of trans dimensional worm holes is too damn low.

I demand more Ratchet if you wouldn't mind

[Tatsurou]

So it's not Ratchet and Clank's fault...it's Pinkie and The Brain Twilight's fault.

[demanji]

are you going to update this one?

[shapeshiftingpedro]

This is a huge improvement from what it was before.

[IncredibleMeh]

2430370
Wow, that means a lot to me. I always felt like the last version was cobbled together, so in my eyes it simply had to be redone.

2429813
Indeed I do plan on updating this, by boogity. Just as soon as Half-Life 3 comes out.

[demanji]

2431927i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/026/futuramafry.jpg

[Draconis187]

Twilight has caused all of her own problems again. It's Lesson Zero all over again... with aliens who carry really big and absurd weapons.

[117dragon]

2431927 By that remark, my calculations estimate that you will update by the year 3001.5

[delet this]

If the lava gun is not in this, I will shoot you with a rift inducer which I would also like to see in this story

[IncredibleMeh]

2476089

While I appreciate that you would like to see your favorite weapons in the story, I'm only going to be using a weapon if that use is truly justified. I choose the wrong weapon for them to use and Ponyville might accidentally be blown to peaces. Seeing as how the Lava Gun would set one to many thing on fire, and the Rift Inducer poses to much of a hazard to local bystanders, I'm not sure if either of those weapons would make an appearance.

The situation will come where Ratchet and Clank will be forced to release the true power of their arsenal however. That much I can promise, so be patient.

Also, sending me through a black hole would be counter productive, because then I couldn't write the story anymore.

[delet this]

2480339 Damn you, We need less subjective weapons, so that sadly crosses off the Bouncer, unless Pinkie hacks it to shoot streamer balls instead of explody balls, Pinkie is definately going to hack the guns to make them more party suitable, isn't she?

[allstar brawler]

Dose this take place after crack in time of all for one

[IncredibleMeh]

2757449 It takes place sometime after Full Frontal Assault actually. And if any new games come out, it will also take place after those. It takes place after any new episode of MLP as well.

While I'm still here, I would like to apologize for not updating. I've been waiting for season 4, because the whole Equestria Girls fiasco has changed a couple of plans I had with where I was taking the story. (For example, the presence of a mirror with the supposed power to turn ponies into humans would provide a possible explanation for Ratchet's ponification.)

[allstar brawler]

2773601 Well there is a chance that Dr nefarious has had a change of heart

[IncredibleMeh]

2775161 A chance, yes. Although I doubt that Insomniac would so easily dispense with one of their most beloved villains. Any of Nefarious's future roles in the series are probably going to be along the lines of: "Yeah I'm still a bad guy and a massive jerk-hole, but since were sort of friends now I guess I won't kill you...yet"

I doubt even a reformed Nefarious could stand spending a lengthy amount of time around any organic life forms though. And with "squishies" this adorable, he might just find it migraine inducing.

[allstar brawler]

2775386 So what distory all squishys and all that for the story

[Traintrax]

We appreciate that you redid your chapters for us, but I think we'd all like chapter 3 now.

[IncredibleMeh]

2835209

Ah, please forgive me for being a bit slow with that. It's just that a small hint of writers block, along with certain complications (You now what I'm talking about) have made it difficult for me to continue writing. I'm trying to get back into the spirit of it as we speak, but I'm not sure how long it will take. And keep in mind that if I try and write while in the wrong mindset.

Just like you don't push a game to be released early, you never rush a good story.

[Traintrax]

2849186 Aight mate. As long as your working on it, then take your time.

[The Fateweaver]

2773601 But ... Ratchet's a lombax...

[claw39420 Ratchet]

more MORE MORE!!!!! PLZDONT RUSH

[claw39420 Ratchet]

dont rush a good story i agree but, I NEED MOREEEEEEE!!! its a good storyto me

[claw39420 Ratchet]

2835209 agreed

[Frankie2]

So Twilight being interrupted by Pinkie Pie while trying to cast a spell is the cause of all this. Now she needs to do the fixing. Two questions, though.
One, where's Spike?
Two, is Qwark going to show up? If so, I beg you to reconsider.

[claw39420 Ratchet]

3278251Where is Spike?

[IncredibleMeh]

3278251

You'll find out what Spike was doing once I get around to updating. And I will update, it's just that my pesky personal life keeps getting in the way. If only I could quite my job, sell my house, and live on the streets homeless and hungry, then I would have all the time in the world to wright fanfiction!

And whether anyone likes it or not, Qwark always manages to rear his rather interestingly shaped chin. Rarity is gonna have an absolute fit with his fashion sense. There is NOTHING less attractive then full body green spandex.

[claw39420 Ratchet]

2773601 So Ratchet and Clank: Into Nexus is out so it takes place after that

[Writing Quill]

Err when is the next chapter?

[Artimis whooves]

MOAR!

[Golden_Reflection]

2439520
don't forget magical mystery cure!

[Golden_Reflection]

THAT WHICH IS NEEDED IS MOAR!

[SilverStarApple]

Cool!

Also, universe's.

[SilverStarApple]

Chapter 2

>“I thought how big your brain was didn’t matter how smart you were?”
"I thought how big your brain was doesn't change how smart you were."

[SonicStreak5344]

MORE!!!!!