Welcome one, welcome all, to the page where nothing gets done! i do hope you enjoy your stay, or if you'd prefer, be on your way. Have a good day, for some more stories are on their way!
Fire-Lance is an argonian, and also a shadowscale. But what happens when he cant run from his past? after his death, he is revived in a new, strange world. under normal conditions, he would just be a servent to whomever revived him, but the recent arrival of two dangerous individuals will comprimise not only the safety of his master, but the whole of the new world.
this is my first fic, so feedback would be appreciated. rated teen for some swearing.
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Tracked and liked, sorry I can't really give any pointers or any suggestions as I didn't notice anything terribly off other then an error here or there which is fairly common.
751766
thanks, decided to write this in word for the spelling and grammer check.
751837
I see, well i'll be glad to see what you come up with in the future, I do enjoy The Dark Brotherhood greatly.
Jesus, my mind hurts. There are far, far too many tense changes for your story to remain readable. Writing it in word is of course a good idea, buts it's not going to fix those bits that need fixing. I think a little proofreading would do you the world of good, if nothing else to spot and eliminate all those painful, niggley little bits that make this a frustrating read.
Other things? Your dialogue punctuation needs a little work, and you need to spend a little more time making sure this all makes sense, because there are a few bits there that had me going ... What?
But other than that, good luck and god speed!
751858
thanks, i will try looking for those mistakes, and will make sure that other chapters will be more readable. but i cant make any garuntees, lit. class didnt teach me that much this year.
The scenery looked different to him though, it resembled the deserts of the Khajiite homeland, yet with more rocky outcroppings, boulders, and holes.
it resembled the deserts of the Khajiite homeland,
the deserts of the Khajiite homeland
the Khajiite homeland
Khajiite
Khajiite
Khajiite!
Sorry, but I nitpick about things from The Elder Scrolls, and it's spelled Khajiit, not khajiite... Uh oh, feeling more rage coming on, got to go!
752350
whoops! sorry bout that, will fix right away.
good job, i like it
I must know more.
good job, keep it up
again, feel free to let me know if something is wrong in the story, feedback is always appreciated. .
Nothing wrong, I saw it crystal clear.
i noticed something wrong in the story:it is way too much awesome to have been written by mortals