After the defeat of the beast and the apparent death of Cole MacGrath due to his usage of the RFI. Zeke Dunbar takes Cole's body out to sea during a thunder storm to say a final goodbye to his best friend alone. But, when a stray bolt of lighting strikes Cole's casket. They are both transported to a unknown land. A land filled with...happy...candy colored...talking...little...ponies.
Friendship is magic/Infamous crossover.
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See if this works:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Aip2aIt0ROM#t=786s]
EDIT: Lol fukno. It's supposed to be:
EGORAPTOR: "AWWW MAN, ANOTHER ONE?!" (Supposed to be negative but you know.)
Ok lets read and see what happens.
Dang, I've been wanting a Infamous crossover fic, and this, my friend, fits the bill to a T
~Shade
I've been disappointed by five different MLP & inFAMOUS crossovers. Please don't be the seventh. best of luck to you.
i will add it to favs to see how this ends, right now i am interested since i never saw a crossover with infamous.
btw i will point out some mistakes i saw:
in chapter one:
the rest on this chapter
and with this one i am not really sure but i think its
Excellent work! Tracking
this is awesome as can be I'm a huge fan of both Infamous 2 and my Little pony
1412677
I fixed most of the mistakes you pointed out. The first one I'm not really sure if that's a mistake since it's from the ending speech Zeke tells to the player in the hero ending and if you turn on caption's it's spelled like that. The last one you pointed out I'm not quite sure about that one too. But, anyway. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes!
I love this already! Tracking this story.
Nice. Few suggestions: vary vocabulary and sentence structure more, and try to be more in-depth about the thoughts of characters at certain moments. Give it some depth. Otherwise, I'd like to see where this heads.
I'm a bit skeptical on this fic.It seems like it's good,but the characters don't seem to act more like they would.
For example,I would imagine Cole being more worried about him being alive and thinking the RFI didn't work at all as opposed to how unfazed he is in this situation.The Mane 6's dialogue also feels unnatural some,but I can't really help you there since I absolutely have no idea as to how you'd write them.
Also,as far as I know,Equestria doesn't have power grids,so shouldn't Cole be feeling weak?Unless you're going to use magic as an excuse and have Cole harness it as a new power source or something.In which case,disregard this part.
Oh,and one more thing.In the prologue,you should capitalize The Beast,since it is its name.I'll let the others sort out the other nit-picky grammatical errors.
I think you need a pre-reader for more vocabulary and accurate punctuation and grammar
Your grammar and vocabulary skills need some work, but the story does look promising.
more I ME GUSTA this book.
t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRk8HdduJyC5TGAUKd804yWe0MNSfIZ0IlBNSbtL1DaOvWc1gdMAc5Z1pD5
1418472
Thank you for the criticism! I'll be on the lookout for an editor to edit any of my grammar errors and things that other people would consider undesirable!
Fell like you need to not have so many names you can just say he or her when you can really tell the perspective. Just sayin
1421601 this fic is amazing
keep up the great work!
Electrocuted to death...
I do believe this redundant phrase is redundant. Try some form of electrification not quite as severe as electrocution, which is generally terminal. It can mean simply "injury by electric shock," but that is not the general connotation.
More please
Please find a way to give cole back his powers, or new ones, i don't care, i just want to see awesome super powered Cole kicking ass
1519822 I second this motion.
I'm going to keep this short.
This fic is nowhere close to what it should be. You have multiple characters speaking in the same paragraph on multiple occasions, a lot of missing punctuation and grammar errors all over the place.
I suggest you revise all chapters before continuing.
1519822 I thought that will happen soon.....
You really need to overlook your chapters,sir.Even if you are too lazy,which is a poor excuse for not making sure you're delivering top-notch quality stuff.
Grammar is still bad,the thoughts blend in within the paragraphs (generally,the thoughts are in italics),and Cole and Zeke still feel outta character.Can't exactly put my finger on it,but it just feels like they're both missing...something from their dialogue.Still has potential,but you're quickly losing interest in some of us I think.
1520113 this, i see a lot of "your" where you should be using "you're"
-Your: Used to point a object or something that belongs to other.
-You're: Short to "You Are"
regardless of that, i still like the story so far, after all i never saw a crossover of infamous.
1520763 Infamous crossovers are a dime a dozen around here
when will cole get his powers back
Kewl
I must see some LAZERS!!!!
Brony's might have a strong "Hater base" but, HOLY ASS-FUCK ARE THEY CREATIVE!
1520601
Saying I was too lazy was a mistake. What I should have said is that I don't have enough time to do so even though I try to make time for writing and editing, but I digress. About the thing about Cole and Zeke being out of character when they talk to each other. It's kind of hard for me to imagine what they would say to each other in a long conversation. Usually in the games Zeke or Cole would just talk for a while on radio (exchanging vital pieces of information or in Zeke's case just randomly talking about something sometimes), and then they would end the call. For me it's kind of hard just to go off by their small radio conversation's or when there talking in cut-scenes (Usually there's a third person talking to both of them in the cut-scene or they don't even talk to each other at all during the entire thing).
1522880
You do raise a point about writing Cole and Zeke.In fact,after re-reading their bits in the latest chapter,I take back what I said about them missing something.Thinking on it with a mind that's not sleepy,I'd write the two almost exactly the same way you are right now.The formatting and such just needs to be worked on some.If you want,I'd totally be up for editing this stuff for ya.Granted,I'm most likely gonna be busy doing school stuff and such,but whenever I have the time,I'll be more than glad to pre-read and edit this for you.Just shoot me a PM and we can work things out if you want.
And yeah,you really shouldn't be using "I'm lazy" as an excuse for anything,really.Hell,you don't even have to explain why you'd want an editor.Could've just removed the "I'm lazy and don't want to edit my own stories." part and bam,makes you look less bad to the public.Unless you want that impression on people.
1519822
I pass this motion
Too many unneeded commas, also in the beginning you said "to the ground" pretty much in a row, which sounded quite cumbersome. Besides that sounds good! Tracking
1531650 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/21907552.jpg
Hm... Its pretty short, buts its a prologue, so i can excuse it.
I think this story is dead.
Very interesting. This is a pretty good story, keep it up!
Ever going to be update
1522542 are you a brony? If not what the buck are you doing in here?