I was once an Organization XIII member known as Xuku. One day I had a fight with a fellow Organisation member, when something went astray. I had gotten a memory of my past life. Specifically how I was turned into a nobody.
Now I'm planning on leaving the organisation. From here on, I have no idea what will happen. I just hope I can live a peaceful life in another world FAR from here...
Yeah right...
Authors Note: I don't own ANYTHING related to Kingdom Hearts or MLP, exept for my own oc and story plot. Also my oc:s name is pronounced like this (Zu-ku).
Also some of the red tags aren't going to show up until later in so don't worry. I'll try not to disappoint... much.
Chapters (6)
It's okay. Need more to see where this goes.
This is a quote from the kingdom hearts wiki. This would mean your characters remaining letters are two u's and a k. What is his real name supposed to be?
8792566
His real name will be revealed in due time my friend. No spoilers... 😜
8792844
So what you're saying is that it doesn't follow canon conventions? Alright I guess.
8792905
Not entirely. I do have a name in mind, It's just... It will be an odd one.
I don't...is this a parody?
8792973
Not a parody. An alternet universe. Takes place after Camp Everfree.
Alright, I quickly wanted to leave some feedback in hopes of helping this story develop. Before I do, keep in mind I don't normally review stories, but I am for this one because I love Kingdom Hearts. Not to mention I feel like some people on this site can be to overly critical. Anyways, first impression is it has potential, I like the idea, but there are a-few things I'd change. First is the fight between Sora and Xuku, it was really unexpected, and not in a good way. At first you make it feel like Xuku is against fighting, but a second later he's charging Sora, sure he felt threatened, but perhaps you could have added more dialogue between the two before leading into a fight. I also wanted to mention it's spelt organization, not organisation.
Anyways, I mean no harm, all-in-all it was good, keep up the good work!
8792995
Thanks. It should be said that my English spelling can be a little off since it's not my primary language, so mistakes are bound to happen. And thanks for the feed back. I'll make sure that the other fights are not as badly written or encountered as the Sora fight.
8793002
I understand, for the most part your spelling was good, I've seen a-lot worse lol.
8793016
Thanks. It might be because I grew up with games that were in English rather than my native. I learned English quite easily in fact.
8793029
That's good, it can really be annoying when a story has bad grammar, but like I said this one wasn't that bad. If you feel scared about it, maybe hiring an editor could help your story, but it doesn't bother me to much.
Also I got to give you credit for posting the story here lol. For the longest time I've wanted to write a KH story for this site, but due to the amount of overly critical people in the comments, it's made me hesitant.
8793036
It's easy when you don't really care if they hate it or love it. It's what you want to do, not what they want you to do. It's just as simple as that.
8793046
I get what you're saying, and I give you props for it. Anyways, can't wait to read more :)
Warning. Bad grammar can be seen if you look hard enough.
Also If anyone wants I could accept a proofreader and/or an editor. Should you and I want it. PM me if you want to be a proofreader and send me something to do with this fic if you want to be an editor. Like how you would have done the chapter. If I like the style, then you could be the next editor. If not, then don't feel to bad.
...Xion?
8799592
Ah, ah, ah. Why spoil it. Come on... Why you no fun. 😅
8799631
So I was right?!
8799659
... Guess...
8799664
This looks like fun.… let’s just send in some dusks
8813724
Mayhaps. Wait and see.
8814750
I’ve waited I’m not seeing
8859593
It's taken a while. A lot of readin and haven't been ale to focus.
(Stupid finnish Auto correct)
8859629
I speak for all of us when I say fuck auto correct fuck auto correct in particular
8859646
Agreed.
You went straight for the snipers ok I’m happy
8866462
Yes. Why? Xigbar.
D'awww a blushing Xion.
8866603
Heheaa boi.
I thought Axel was on Retrieval and Elimination.
It's why he complains about always getting the 'icky' jobs.
Shouldn't it be Assassin Nobodies coming in? Or would the timeline place him attempting to get Roxas back while in the digital Twilight Town?
8868360
Well, I thought that Axel was already "gone" by that point, I thought that since Xuku and Xigbar don't get along all that well it would be, you know, meaningful. Xigbar finally gets the chance to off the guy he has a clear dislike for and no one gets mad at him. For him it's a win-win.
8868360
I thought that Xuku had met Sora in The World That Never Was before arriving in front of the school.
8870578
Oh, right.
...
It's a good indicator that I souldn't be trying to think after 2 am.
I have a question just what does his new weapon looks like an idea would be appreciated you know?
9132588
Well, Nobodies Puppet's handguard looks like two marionette control bars on the top and bottom with strins conecting them together, the blade also has srings, but they are loosley tied around a hooded digure holding up his hand. The teeth of the blade is a nobody symbol made out of twilight thorn and the key chain is a broken nobody symbol.
9133230
So it's a keyblade then correct?
9133578
Yes.
9133627
Nice I, but suggest that you should add the description of the keyblade to the story so no one needs to ask, or try to imagine what it is. If you like I could try to draw the keyblade for you.
9133637
Yeah, kinda forgot to do that.
all music except for the video at the end of the chapter broke
10068012
Yeah, I know. I just forget which musics I used for the scenes. I'll add them back after I re-read the story. Sorry for the inconvenience.
So , where's next chapter ?
10423904
I'm, working on it. It's been slow progress, but I'll try getting back to it soon.
10424846
oh ok
11045169
Not really the next chapter, more like rewriting the whole thing. I've written a blog post about it that hopefully explains my reason as to why I'm doing this.