• Member Since 11th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen July 20th

Aprion

"Never let your fear of being criticized stop you from expressing yourself through art." ~Fluttershy.

Aprion Joined 11th Aug, 2015 · Offline

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Comments ( 3 )
ShadowLDrago
ShadowLDrago #2 · Feb 28th, 2018 · · ·
Reply

“I cant strip down in front of her.” Lightning dust said bashfully

Forgot the apostrophe and capitalize the D in dust. Also, you forgot to put a period at the end of the sentence.

to Lightnings vulnerable backside.

Lightning's.

Mr-Discord, to briefly look up from where he was mopping the floors.

Mr. Not Mr-.

As Rainbow gripped the edge of the desk she felt sorry for hitting Lightning so hard.

Comma after desk.

hit Rainbows sit spots.

Rainbow apostrophe S. Also, sit spots?

Rainbows

Second verse, same as the verse.

“Switch.” Luna announces.

AnnounceD.

of the paddle she gave Rainbow

Comma between paddle and she.

twentyseven

2 words.

rainbows naked backside

Rainbow's.

Galaxy Knight
Galaxy Knight #3 · Feb 28th, 2018 · · ·
Reply

It's a cute story that fits the characters. Good job.

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