• Member Since 11th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Aprion


"Never let your fear of being criticized stop you from expressing yourself through art." ~Fluttershy.

Comments ( 312 )

Interesting start:derpytongue2:. Also may the KarmaCharger ram that f:yay:cking b:yay:tch ex at the beginning!:twilightangry2:

Keep it up.

please, don't cancell this out.

9744973
i have no plans to cancel, im already working on chapter two and three.

9744979
goodluck with the whole arch and the whole "chess of gods" and "displaced" games. I wish that the players/authors never left them on the oblivion.

My store is not bound by walls or limited by inventory. It’s one not governed by convention

Nice dig at Displaced stories.

Another war? Really?
Better to don't create something that sounds big and should impact displaced and multiverse when it won't
There before we're wars and similar concepts but I don't see people caring and remembering them
It's like writing a new canon only for yourself and some authors who will do a crossover


Also cool idea for overlord and I hope he will be in power soon like in next chapter. Waiting for it too long takes away the hype and all

Also I was waiting for someone to use the shopkeeper when someone suggested that on displaced group

https://youtu.be/x2NpNAs7DMo
https://youtu.be/do8pwvf-ZS8
https://youtu.be/o57GCm54EUI
https://youtu.be/qIUMQ6EhERM

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It's like writing a new canon only for yourself

Well yeah, that's kind of the point. I'm doing this my way. Because their way clearly didn't work. Think of it as a reboot/retcon. I don't know if it will work, but i'm just gonna have fun with it while it lasts.

Fairly good of an introduction.

Do continue, deary.

“My store is not bound by walls or limited by inventory. It’s one not governed by convention, or restricted by time. The only rule here is to untether your imagination, and release it on the universe.” He said, eyes sparkling with mischief.

F:yay:CK YEAH!! YOU DID A STORY WITH THE SHOPKEEPER FROM THAT PS4 TRAILER!!! HELLL YEAHH!!!!!!

Interesting to see someone else do spins on the Storm Nation. Congratz on getting featured, too. Seems people really like our Storm stories, eh?

9745307
and here i was just looking at yours. talk about yer coincidences. :yay:

Just yes! This is going to be fun. All you need is a random overlord rule at the end of every chapter XD

9745420
huh, thats not a bad idea. :pinkiehappy:

I'll admit it typically don't enjoy these isekai sort of stories but this one feels like it's not gonna be -just- another cliche. This one seems to have genuine inspiration, so I'll just be keeping track of this one.

9745453
and whats more, not only could you do a random overlord rule, you could do a villain quote too, like evil inspirational or just a quote from a villain that was iconic.

“What If I want your powers?”
“I fear those are outside your budget. Anything else… is fair game.”

Out of reach, eh? We’ll see about that, Shopkeeper. Oh, we’ll see.

This is very, very well done. Not the best but it builds the mc while retaining his humanity. Good job.

A bit utilitarian when it comes to the dialogue, and the pacing could use some work, but seems fine for what it's going for. Some outside perspective on the main protagonist could put into context some of his actions, so I'd certainly recommend interludes/omakes where you get the perspective of another chatacter. Main character's pretty flat, but hey the main appeal seems to be what he's doing and how he's going about it.

Try to remember show don't tell when it comes to events in the story, all exposition doesn't need to be expressed through dialogue. Character's actions are important to describe as well.

“Me?” the man smiled. “I’ve had many, many names and I’ve inspired many more. I’ve been known as Anansi the Spider, Iktomi, Maui, Rumplestiltskin, Kutkh, Azeban the Trickster Raccoon, Hermes, Dolos, Mister Mxyzptlk, Puck, Susanoo, Loki and Daucina. But you can just simply call me, The Shopkeeper.”

Is Ann Marie one of those S.

Shit... he's gonna be Equestria's Doctor Doom, isn't he. LOATHED by everyone outside, yet in his own Country his people adore him--and he WILL do his level best to actually help poor Tempest Shadow! Eeee…!

9745549
Let us hope for something like that:pinkiehappy:. I could almost see Mane6 or some Equestrian pony special-ops getting caught/surrounded by Storm guards, and our King says something along the lines of "You are trespassing on Sovereign soil of Storm Island. Please leave."

huh a good story not filled with cringey guys with katanas and fedoras i like it all ready have a like and fav

9745132
So you could say that your Canon is just separated from the Multiverse and doesn't know about the rest

I sometimes think about other peoples canons in a way that they separated from the rest in some way and don't know it. So they think they are all of multiverse

Something like in Attack on Titan
People there were thinking that they were last humans, but it turned out that this whole time they were just on island/continent and all that but I'm not going to spoiler more

If you can place them together like that they can kind of coexist or something

Ruling by the tenants of The Evil Overlord List eh? This should make for an interesting account.

Well now I'm wondering in what season it is happening or its before even the first season?

Nice, only two chapters in and already front page, hope you'll keep up the good work, thou the sceptic in me says this fic will die in less than 5 chapters, care to prove me wrong.

You have my curiosity. Lets see where this goes.

Like the story can't wait to see what happens next

I hope he remembers he can summon his Overlord book as long as its in the same dimension as he is.

Can he build a device to connect to his original world internet?

Also he should start building a way to fast send messages, like internet.
It would help to get notifications from spies and alarms for example incoming danger

9746121
Look into the origins of the network, there's a reason why we still call social networking just that.

What you probably mean is faster communication, which is easy once you get electricity going, and the reason it took us so long is because we had to figure it out on our own. It's like doing a second playthrough of a game, the first one takes a lot longer because you don't know what you're doing, but the second goes much faster. Having the book means he's basically played the game to memorization, and then starting in a victorian esc era/area such as the badlands/stormlands gives him an even better starting point.

He doesint Have to be evil to be a conqueror.

It's good to know he's not a heartless monster. :pinkiehappy:

this is an entertaining spin on the bad-guy shtick.
i'm very much interested.

I love stories like this, that use the evil overlord list as a framework. This, to me, is filling the gap the Darth Vulcan story left behind when it's author quit FiMFiction. I can't wait to see where you take this, as it's a promising start.

9746147
O HELL NO! Evil is the way to go! :raritystarry: I for one am looking forward to seeing what this dark creature makes of himself.

A main character that isnt a doormat, and has actual agency AND real direction? Hot dog, you have my attention.

9746181
Going on this and your previous comment: You can still be Evil without being an asshole. Example: Doctor Doom

Edit: Formatting

this is a good start of a good story. I remember another story similar to this one that went pretty well but was deleted from this site at some point so good luck to you then.

This is a very good start, can't wait for the rest. I must say I was worried at first and then I realized who was reading it...lol this should be a wonderful story :pinkiecrazy:

You have caught my eye good sir, and I am LOVING what I see!


I hope he becomes a Benevolent Evil Overlord (Evil to his enemies, but good to his own people) and I can't wait to see what the rest of this world is like!

On a side note: Where is Fizzlepop Berrytwist (aka, Tempest Shadow) has she not joined the Empire yet?

To be completely honest, I was on the fence, leaning hard towards not following the story after these two chapters, but then we got to see the human side of him at the end and now I'm definitely going to read more. Let's hope the author doesn't lose his muse anytime soon.

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Not yet. She will show up eventually. :twilightsmile:

9746686

Wonder if the Compendium has a way to Fix and or Augment her horn >.>

I’m giving you a rare thumbs up from me simply because you mentioned Lord Recluse.

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