- Member Since 24th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen March 28th
Wandering Pigeon
I came here to eat breadcrumbs and indiscriminately shit on cars. And I'm all out of breadcrumbs...
Wandering Pigeon
Joined 24th Sep, 2014 ·
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The beggining had me laughing my ass off and still got me intrigued. Nice job!
Something I don't think anyone wants to hear ever
Great job so far. Keep it coming!
9025563
Glad to hear! Hope you like what's coming next, too!
9025703
Good to see you like it. And don't worry, more is on the way.
And cue the prank going horribly wrong in 3... 2... 1...
9025785
I mean, I don't want to give anything away, but uh... you might be onto something there.
9025892
Will do
Uh oh...
Always read the warning labels, Starlight.
This is a very good idea for a story. I can’t wait to see where it goes!
9025989
Whaaat? But nothing could possibly go wrong if you don't read them, right?
9026108
Thanks! I think you'll really like how it turns out.
Honestly, I was expecting this spell to backfire, resulting in Starlight getting diapered. But Twilight getting diapered is just as good. Also, Starlight should probably get that addiction to sweets checked out. Not that I wouldn't mind a weight gain fic with her getting fat off of those things, though.
9025785 Given that this is Starlight Glimmer we're talking about here, yeah, that's inevitable. After all . .
9026798 Maybe that's what Twilight will do for her revenge. After all, they always say revenge is a dish best served cold.
Very clever and well executed. There's a lot of possibilities for where it will go from here. Great job in setting up a great cliffhanger to get into Chapter 2.
9026953 What do you mean?
9027476 Twilight getting revenge by using Starlight's sweet tooth to get her all fattened up.
9027531 Mmm! I would love that!
Well, we're off to a promising start.
Let's see what we can reasonably expect next : thickening diaper, booties and a horn ring (so Twilight doesn't have any means to remove it).
As for what I hope to see on top of that: a pacifier gag, some humiliating garments (hoofed sleeper, onesie, frilly dress, whatever works), maybe a foal bonnet as well, really anything you can think of to further incapacitate and/or humiliate Twilight.
Whatever you have in store for Twilight and for us in the next chapter, I'm looking forward to see it !
9028976
No spoilers, but... perhaps, maybe, possibly.
A diper that you can't take off no matter how full and messy it is! My fetish!
Well as Brawny Buck would say:
Also I hope Starlight has her will written out cause she's gonna need a funeral when all of this is over.
Is this a clopfic?
9039935
Depends on your definition, I suppose. There's not any sex or any character's deriving sexual pleasure from their experiences, otherwise I would've included "sexual themes" in the story's warning tags. But if the other stuff under the summary's spoiler tag is enough for you to consider it one, then there you go.
Somehow I don't think Starlight intended for the prank to go nearly this far.
9040113
Well, knowing Starlight...
Two mares gonna die tonight!
Now we're talking.
Minor typos, but nothing too distracting. Some nice writing techniques, most notably the sun simile. The escalating restraints are quite fun, and points for Twilight being somewhat original in her approach to remove the diaper with the chair. Would I be wrong in surmising that Twilight Sparkle Has a Nightmare inspired that to a degree?
What I'm most interested in at this point is finding out just how aggressive the curse is. Personally, I'm hoping it might be the sort that will jump to a new 'victim' if they should happen to try to release those affected...
9040431
Oh Twilight's gonna wanna destroy anyone even tangentially related to this when it's all over.
9040807
Twilight Sparkle Has a Nightmare was definitely one of the influences for this. Hopefully I didn't make them too similar so far. I like it and all, but I would really hate to just be a copycat of The Conflicted Writer's work.
9041386
I'd say premise, set-up, and flavouring differentiates it sufficiently :)
And then the brown nation attacked!
Yep, that chapter was pretty much everything I expected and then some (loved Twilight trying to outsmart the spell with her throne, only for it to render her completely helpless by turning it into a bouncer).
That picture by Skitter was begging for a story to be written about it and I'm so glad you did.
Otherwise, I believe 9040807 said about everything — and considering Twilight Sparkle Has a Nightmare is one of my favorite clopfics (one that I've always found somewhat underrated at that), I find the comparison with your story flattering.
)
Now, I'm interested into seeing how it progresses from there: is Twilight's predicament coming to a resolution, or will it further escalate? (I hope not paying attention to the spell's warnings will come biting Starlight in the ass down the line, that'd be great poetic justice for her taking things too far with that prank…
Starlight my have to start another cult to defend her self from Twilight.....
9046414
Starlight's going to be just fine. I mean, when has ignoring warning signs ever backfired on someone before?
9046485
Instead of the "Equality Cult" it's the "I'm-Less-Than-Twilight-So-All-Of-You-Better-Go-Die-For-Me Cult". Accepting any and all members!
Whoa! Now that was intense! So many efforts made in vain to remove herself of the curse. It's also interesting how Starlight missed out on all the 'special features' of the curse. Then again she did read past the 'warnings'.
I'm sure Starlight isn't going to find her joke so funny once she sees all that it has done. We'll certainly experience quite the exchange as student and teacher both discuss the magic behind this padded problem.
9047788
That exchange won't be too interesting, given that Twilight can only offer muffled screams into her paci at this point.
But I'm sure Starlight will be fine with a one-sided conversation, makes it easier to explain herself.
Completed? Seems like were just getting to the fun part.
9056391
I getcha, but I felt a stinger at the end like that would be most appropriate. Had the story continued, it would've largely just been going through the motions of the second chapter again, which I'm sure a good deal of people wouldn't mind, but I personally don't feel like it would've contributed all that much.
9056437 Would at least like an epilogue about whether or not they ever got out of their padded prisons. Maybe with a little help (and playful teasing) from Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, or Princess Cadence?
Ooh, and maybe an alternative ending where Pinkie Pie finds out?! That would open up a whole slew of possibilities!
9056468
There were certainly some ideas I had, but none of them are really short enough to just keep to a concise epilogue. And I can't really have this story ballooning into more than what it already is with how much stuff I've got in the pipeline.
Yikes! I kind of worried such an outcome may result from ignoring the warnings and putting so much magic into the spell. This worry was more solidified when Starlight felt so fatigued by casting the spell.
How will they get out of this one? Will it come down to Princess Celestia neding to muster her magic? Or perhaps Zecora needing to use a potion to break the curse of this prank?
9056536
At this point, any poor soul who tries anything is going to end up getting too familiar with a diaper of their own. At least until Starlight's spell runs out of magic.
Mmmm! I love the taste of slow-roasted karma for dinner! Yum!
9056602
I guess you could say Starlight got her... just desserts.
Thing is, even if it was going to sort of repeat the events of the second chapter, it still would have been a fun read. The way this one is ended isn't just a tease, it's effectively a promise of a resolution that will never arrive.
If you had instead ended it with Twilight just having been freed with the help of the princesses when Starlight walks in, that could have worked out well. The events of the story have now been resolved off-screen, and instead of a lame stinger (I hesitate to call it that because it implies there's a twist after what should be a satisfying resolution) we have a counter-"Gotcha!" for Starlight. The story could then end with Twilight chasing after Starlight to demand an explanation and, implied, enact come-uppance.
I can't recall which story it was exactly, but I feel there was another piece you made like this with a nasty case of literary blue balls. Babe, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but your story is finishing before I do and it's awkward for all involved when that happens.
9056557
Wonder what would happen if spike tries to burn it off
9057113
Third degree burns would happen.
9056932
Not really much I can do if that's how you feel. I wrote this fic the way I wanted to, ending on that last note with Starlight because that was what I found to be the most fun.
Ending it in the manner you suggested would still just leave Starlight's comeuppance implied, much like it's currently implied right now that she's going to pay for her actions. The only big differences being that Twilight is free in that version, and Starlight's karma might not come in the form of her own Padded Prison, neither of which really appeal to me as immediate outcomes for the story.
I mean, I could have written it so another Princess comes and frees Twilight, but to me that would be just as unsatisfying as the current ending is for you. After all, that's really contrived, right? Someone not established or set up earlier in the story just kind of appears and makes Twilight's problem go away just for the sake of the ending. Maybe if I'd had it mentioned in chapter 1 or 2 that Princess Celestia or whoever was planning to visit Twilight later in the day for whatever reason then I could see you being upset that something like that never happened, but that just isn't the case.
I will admit I was wrong to call that ending a stinger. Looked it up and it didn't mean what I thought it did; that's on me for making dumb assumptions. But even with that not being the apt phrase, I still have to admit that I like the ending the way it is. It probably ultimately comes down to a difference in what we prefer for a story and I don't know really what could reconcile that. Maybe just being upfront that this story was only going to be three chapters long from the very beginning wouldn't have gotten hopes up for a longer work? I can't really say.
Yeah this feels like it was cut short, not completed. There’s no resolution and the way it is now just implies that there are more chapters. Honestly, I think you should reconsider your choice to end it and I’m not saying that because I want to see more.
9057924
Sorry, but I'm not reconsidering this one. Going back to rewrite or add material to something that already wasn't designed to have more is not likely to turn out well. The implication that there's supposed to be more is really just an implication that Starlight is going to wind up in the fate she subjected Twilight too, and that's it.
9058253
Let me ask you something. Were seriously unable to think of anything besides a repeat of chapter 2? Serious question.
9058441
You're asking the wrong question. The problem was never about ideas, the problem was about what worked for the story I wanted to write. I could have had Starlight get trapped in a different manner than Twilight, or had her calm down and go about solving the problem on her own, or covertly try to get help, or having the issue spiral out of control by trapping dozens more in diapers. But all of those ideas would've taken more time to play out; they would have made the story much longer than it is and that was not what I wanted to do.
In premise, the idea for this is simple. Starlight is inspired to prank, she takes it too far, and she pays for it. Those were the ideas I was trying to get across, that was all I wanted to accomplish with this fic. That's what the ending, however abrupt you or anyone else feel it is, ultimately leaves you with.
The reason I've said continuing this would lead to a repeat of chapter 2 is because that direction plays into the ideas the most: Starlight would be (is) doomed to suffer the same fate she subjected Twilight too. That would be the outcome most in line with the idea for the fic, but I didn't want to write it out if the actual content wasn't going to meaningfully differentiate itself. I also didn't want to take this fic in a new direction that would completely change what I was going for.
So no, I was not unable to think of anything else. I just didn't want to do anything else.