Jet Set has opinions, and nothing, neither common sense or decency, will stop him from proclaiming them in the court.
After all, he's doing it for the good of Equestria.
An entry for Aragón's Comedy (Is Serious Business) Contest.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 17th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen 15 hours ago
Orbiting Kettle
I've roasted a wealth of exotic things, All torn to ribbons at the hands of kings. Polished copper how I proudly shone, stealin' the fire of the blazing sun.
Orbiting Kettle
Joined 17th Sep, 2014 ·
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It really unsettled the Royal Gastroenterologist.
In any case, best noble headcanon I've ever heard. A shame Celestia isn't in on the joke. Who knows? Maybe the charity puppy orphanage will stop her rampage out of sheer shock.
Thank you for this, and best of luck in the judging.
Ah, yes. A brilliant idea where the rich and noble can pay a small fee to pet and feed orphans (remembering to thoroughly wash their hooves after). Half of all profits go to helping the rich not have to pay so much on taxes, while a small portion -- .00001% -- goes to helping those less fortunate.
At least they have a use!
8719252
Generally being responsible for the health and all the squicky stuff related to alicorns is a stressful job with a high burnout rate.
"Princess, you should really keep your pressure under control."
"Oh, I know, your grand-mother told me the same."
"Well, yes, but--"
"And her grand-father too."
"I mean--"
"His mother didn't, but then we didn't know about the issue."
8719296
Well, a life dedicated to poking a bear deserves some kind of reward.
8719326
They are very dedicated to their job.
The only question I have is: was Celestia originally in on the conspiracy, and just forgot? Or did their ancestors just come up with this torment to satisfy what they saw as Celestia's need for self-flagellation?
I mean, why wouldn't an immortal Caesar need an entire cast of slaves whispering in her ear, if her triumph never ended? Especially if 'remember, you are mortal' would be, in point of fact, a blatant lie?
8719345
You mean to tell me the Apple family is the cause of all the bad nobles the Two Sisters have to put up with?!?
Why Granny Smith, why?
8719491
since when is Grenny Smith reddish?
8719636
Ah, you're right. Totally missed the "Red Earth Pony" bit.
Probably her father then...
8719647 No, he's kinda brownish-colored, if I remember what he looked like in the Family Appreciation Day episode correctly.
Everybody is an example. Some positive, some negative.
Why do I see Celestia going this way when she finally snaps.
The nobles will have no one to blame but themselves.
Okay, yeah, this works. This works so damn well, given the nature of ponykind we see.
Indeed, too bad that Celestia isn't in on the joke! (I like to imagine that Luna figured it out in a week after her return, and is tremendously enjoying doing her part in the charade.)
8719647
8719636
The prophet is far more ancient.
After the first, disastrous Gran Galloping Gala there was almost a risk of schism, as the descendant of the Prophet was there and was throwing pies around (nopony is sure how things exactly went, but that's what they choose to believe) and her friends where wrecking everything. There had been long discussions about if this meant they had to follow new rules (involving pies to the face) or not. After Twilight's ascension it was decreed that the Ponyvillian Destroyers (name is a work in progress) clearly were fated to be a pain in the flank of the newest princess, and that things in Canterlot should be carried on according to tradition.
Nopony ever accused them of being too bright.
8720254
It's a dirty job, but somepony hos to do it. Allegedly.
8720278
She has a lot of time to prepare it. One can't go mad on the spur of the moment, you need a good choreography, a decent sound-track, and somepony to get the light just right.
8720598
Even if Luna doesn't figure it out, she may be the kind of pony who sincerely enjoys it.
There's a lot of mileage to get out of "What if everypony is fundamentally good and their motivations are (kinda) pure?"
This is hilariously ridiculous!
Dang do I love this! A romantic look at the Royal Order of Straw Mares. Does Blueblood lead them? How did Fancy Pants get out?
I want to see exactly one noble try this with Twilight, just show up every day outside her castle in a silly suit, loudly petitioning for dragons to be reclassified as non-sapient or something. (Loudly because he'd probably have to shout it through a locked door).
8721163
Glad you liked it
8721393
Well, there was one (an heretic, as Twilight already had her own, personal disruptors) but he didn't last long. Ponyvillians have opinions too, and they tend to express them with a lot of enthusiasm. A plow was involved.
8720095
Good point. Not everypony with a southern or country accent is an Apple after all...
8721573 Thank you.
And this is true.
I wish Celestia knew what was actually going on there. This seems like more of a tragic misunderstanding than anything, but seeing things from Jet Set's perspective was hilarious!
8721543 So he's not just a heretic, but a martyr? I hope they poured some sherry on the curb for brave Snoot Snootington at the next Canterlot Garden Party.
8721676
It is a bit tragic, no doubt about that.
8721715
They'll put his name on a proposal for outlawing plows. It's the highest honor one can get.
8721768 Someone needs to tell these people about Flim and Flam's automobile, so they can start petitioning Celestia to put car parks everywhere.
I have no idea what the hay was happening there at the end. All I got was that now Celestia is counting down to when she can go "Beautiful Flameing Goddess of Death" on Equestria.
Not sure how that's gonna work out though.
I'm not exactly sure what's going on here. I mean, I know that nobles are usually strawpones and I can understand this fic was doing on that level, but the conspiracy is lost on me.
This is slightly heartbreaking but also absolutely hilarious. XD; Poor Celestia... and poor nobles, unintentionally pushing their Princess towards going supervillain.
8721836
8721980
Well, I basically thought back to all those times you find in stories, for some reason, horrible nobles pestering Celestia even after centuries where she pushed back against them. And so I asked myself, why do they do that? And so here we have them doing it to keep Celestia entertained, challenged, to give her something to fight. It's just that nopony thought about asking Celestia if she want to do this, pushing her slowly over the brink. And so here we have the seeds of tragedy germinating on a field of misunderstandings and poor communication.
8722205
I seem to have developed a bit of a taste for tragic-comedies in the last months.
8742289
Apocalyptic freak-outs without a good photography are just cheap.
Still as one-dimensional as ever, this pair.
8777711
Fair assessment.
Nice! Reminds me of a Shirley Jackson story.
8852071
I had to look her up.
And add some more books to my "Read it Later" list. I hope you are happy
8853045
That comparison was a high compliment, BTW! One Ordinary Day with Peanuts is the story I was thinking of, but you should read The Lottery, too; it's a classic!
Delirious!
This was time well spent. :D
9430432
Wonderful
11708925
Lovely
Thank you so much!