A Sunday Afternoon...

by Dreadnought

Fluttershy's Surprise

Fluttershy slowly squeezed through the crowds inside Canterlot Coliseum. The concourse behind the stands buzzed with activity, with food vendors selling everything from carrot dogs to pizza while souvenir shops hawked the latest in team merchandise. Everywhere she looked she found large stallions wearing team jerseys and groups of excited colts running about. The scene reminded her more of her unwanted trip to Los Pegasus than her quiet cottage in Ponyville.

Reaching the correct entrance, Fluttershy helped her grandmare up the steps and into the bright sunshine. Spread out before the two pegasi lay the stadium, a giant bowl seating fifty-thousand spectators in three tiers. Down below fresh turf covered the playing field, with bright white lines marking every five yards. At either end stood the uprights, ready for a field goal attempt or a point after a touchdown.

The two mares made their way to their assigned seats. “My this is a big stadium. It’s a bit....”

“Overwhelming?” supplied Fluttershy.

“Yes. But I just can’t believe what great seats you got for us.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Happy birthday Nana,” she said, leaning over to give her grandmare a hug.

Over the next few minutes more fans entered until the stadium was at maximum capacity. Then a voice came booming across:
“Ladies and Gentlecolts, welcome to Canterlot Coliseum. We will begin the game momentarily. First we ask that you please stand and remove your hats as Countess Coloratura presents our national anthem.”

Everypony rose to their hooves as a beautiful mare took to the field at the fifty yard line and began singing:

Equestria, the land I love
A land of harmony
Our flag does wave from high above
For ponykind to see
Equestria, a land of friends
Where ponykind do roam
They say true friendship never ends
Equestria, my home

The crowd broke into cheers, and overhead the Wonderbolts streaked over the stadium performing a ceremonial flyby.

Again the giant voice addressed the crowd:
“Thank you very much. The Eagles have won the coin toss and have elected to receive.”

Fluttershy looked over to her grandmare and couldn’t help but smile. Her grandmare was happy, which made her happy. And the two would share a wonderful afternoon together. What could be better?

The Royals lined up to the right as the Eagles’ players took their positions on the left. A whistle blew and the kicker raced towards the ball and booted it with all his might, sending it arcing high into the sky. It hung for just a moment then fell back to earth –

“DROP IT!!!”

Fluttershy jumped at the words. Where did they come from? Down below the receiver motioned for a fair catch, and caught the ball just as the Royals players surrounded him.

The giant voice rang out:
“It’s first and ten on the Eagles twenty-eight yardline.”

The Eagles offense and Royals defense ran onto the field as their special teams headed for the sidelines. The Eagles formed into a huddle then ran to the line of scrimage. Foals took position behind the center and then the ball was snapped –

“BLITZ!!!”

Fluttershy again jumped. Could it be?

Foals dropped back, and passed the ball to a running back.

“GET THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!”

Horrified, Fluttershy turned to her grandmare.

Meanwhile, the players lined up for second and five. Foals took the snap, falling back and looking for an open reciever. The pocket collapsed around him and the forelegs of a Royals player wrapped around him, dragging him down. Foals threw the ball just before being slammed onto the turf. Zebras threw yellow flags into the air.

The giant voice explained: “That’s a fifteen yard penalty for roughing the passer.”

“BOO!!! Hoofball is a game for stallions. Why don’t you put a skirt on him?” shouted Gentle Breeze at the top of her lungs.

“Nana?” asked a shocked Fluttershy.

“That’s a bull-shit call. He still had the ball when he was sacked, so the stupid refs shouldn’t have called it.”

“Get your cold beer here!” came a voice from behind.

Gentle Breeze turned around and yelled, “I’ll take two.”

Fluttershy, barely able to speak through her shock at her grandmother’s behavior, squeked, “Nana?”

“I’m sorry dear, I wasn’t thinking. I’ll take three!”

Hoofing over the bits, she passed a cup a beer to Fluttershy while keeping two for herself.

“Nana, I don’t drink.”

“There’s no time like the present to learn,” said her grandmare, taking a happy sip from her plastic cup.

Fluttershy looked down at the amber liquid. Perhaps she would need a beer – or several – to make it through this afternoon with her grandmare?

Author's Note:

After the confusion yesterday, thanks for coming back for Chapter 2. This really is where the Comedy tag comes into play.

I must admit, this story is partly based on RL. My grandmother was the sweetest, kindest person you'd meet. But for three hours on Sundays, boy did she yell and throw things at the TV.

Hope you all enjoy Super Bowl LII!

Dreadnought

Comments

[MDCommissioner]

....is...is there more? Like....."Flutters learns from her Nana" more?

[FanOfMostEverything]

Half of the first chapter is scene-setting, much of the rest is fluff, and while the punchline was delivered well, it still felt padded, and ended just as the story was really getting started. Sorry, but overall, the pacing just feels really off. Still a fun idea, but one in need of refinement.

[Dreadnought]

8732512
Yeah, I can understand. I often write twist endings, so this may have just misfired.

Dreadnought

[AaronLancs]

Fantastic story, brilliant sitcom style humour.

The way that you describe Canterlot definitely makes it a destination to go to.

SIDE QUESTION:
How do you come up with humor in your work?

[Dreadnought]

8742709
Thanks for the feedback - I aim to please.

As for comedy, well, there's really no simple answer. Some comes from imagining scenarios that interest me or thinking of an alternate universe that is slightly off. Some (like this story) come from personal experience. Some come from pop culture (see Robot Pony). And some, I honestly don't know where they come from.

Dreadnought

[Dreadnought]

8742709
You know, I must really thank you for liking my comedy. At the office, most of my jokes fall flat. Although to be fair, I deliver every punchline deadpan, so often times my coworkers can't tell when I'm joking. Dr. Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory relies on a "Sarcasm" sign. Maybe I need a "Comedy" sign?

Dreadnought

[AaronLancs]

8743149
Well your comedy / humour is what shines through well.

[Godslittleprincess]

Oh my! Also, the language is a little salty for an E rated story.

[Dreadnought]

9214482
Perhaps, but I counted two profane words out of nineteen hundred. But I hoped you enjoyed the story. I have trouble reading a reaction based solely on comments.

Dreadnought

[PresentPerfect]

I am honestly somewhat offended at the idea that Equestrians also equate sports with nationalism. <.< Otherwise, agreed with 8732512.