• Published 7th Nov 2017
  • 3,501 Views, 34 Comments

The Pink Bra - MidnightShy21



((DOES NOT CONTAIN CLOP))Sleepovers! What could possibly go wrong? Maybe... your friends finding out about something you've kept secret?

  • ...
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 34
 3,501

The One And Only "WhatamIdoingwithmylife" Chapter!

Author's Note:

I don't know why I wrote this... Whatever, enjoy! Be sure to leave me criticism if you'd like to!

Edited by Sam❤❤💕💕❤
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/271383/ZuzuSky21

Pinkie climbed up to Dash’s bedroom window and hopped inside.

“PINKIE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M GETTING CHANGED?!” She threw a pillow at her bubbly friend.

She quickly put on a bra and some shorts. She walked to her closet to grab a shirt.

“Oh! I'm sorry Dashie!” Pinkie smiled sheepishly at her rainbow-haired friend. Dash glared at her and then sighed.

“It's okay, what do you want?”

“Well! I'm having a... wait! Are you wearing a pink bra?” Pinkie smirked. “Since when do you...”

“What are you doing?” Dash glared at her once again. Pinkie pulled out her phone. “NONONONO! DON'T YOU DARE TAKE A PICTURE!”

“Only if you'll come to my sleepover tonight!” She put her phone in her pocket once again and smirked at her.

“Ugh! Fine...”

“Yay! See you tonight!” She threw her an envelope and sat by the window.

“Pink bra!” She yelled at her and with that, she climbed down, leaving a confused Rainbow Dash.

...............

“Rarity!?” Pinkie walked into carousel boutique. Rarity was eating her breakfast. She swallowed her food and turned to look at her friend.

“How can I help you, dear?”

“Sleepover at my place!!”

“When may that be?”

“Tonight!” She grabbed another envelope. “Here are all of the details. By the way, is Starlight still staying at your place?”

Rarity nodded and continued to make a purple dress she was delivering the next day.

“Can you give her this envelope?” Pinkie grabbed another envelope. “See you tonight!” and she ran off once again. Rarity chuckled and went back to eating.

...............

Pinkie knocked on the door to Twilight’s house. Spike opened the door and wagged his tail.

“Hi Spikey- Wikey!”

“Hi Pinkie.” Pinkie started petting him and Spike started to roll over a bit.

“Is Twilight home?”

“No. You want me to leave a message?”
“Yeah!” She grabbed another envelope. “Can you give her this?”

“Sure!” He took the envelope with his mouth and walked inside. “Bwy Pinwie!”

“Bye bye Spikey!” And she ran off again.

...................
“SSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUNNNSSSEEETTT!!!” Pinkie hollered outside Sunset’s door. Sunset woke up from her nap and climbed out of bed. She walked down the stairs and opened the door to her house to reveal a hyperactive Pinkie!

“What do you want Pinkie?”

“Sleepover at my house tonight!” Pinkie grabbed an envelope and gave it to her. “Don't be late.” With that, she ran off. Sunset sighed and walked back inside.

...............

Fluttershy fed her animals. Pinkie hopped up to her and scared her a bit.

“Hi Fluttershy!”

“Aah! Oh... hi Pinkie Pie.”

“Ooh! That's a cute bear!” Pinkie walked up to the bear and touched him.

“Oh... He is shy...”

“Oh!” Pinkie walked up to Fluttershy again and grabbed an envelope.

“Here! Party at my house tonight! Details are in here. Bye bye Fluttershy!” she ran off again.

“Oh... Bye...”

..................

“Big Mac!”

“Eeyup.” Pinkie ran up to him.

“Can you give this to Applejack? THANK YOU BYE!” Pinkie threw the envelope at him and ran away.

“Um... Eeyup.” He scratched his head.
...................

“Where's Dashie?” Pinkie asked when everyone but Dash had arrived.

“I don't know.” Starlight said.

“Well I guess I'll just tell you guys about her pi-”

“Don't you dare!” Dash ran inside.

“Why are you late? Again...” Twilight sighed.

“Wait!! Let me guess! You overslept!” Pinkie yelled. Dash glared at her and rolled her eyes.

“I'm just gonna unpack.” Dash said.

“Do you guys want to play a game?” Sunset asked.

“Ooh! Which one?! I have: Scribble, Guess who, Monopo-”

“I mean something like truth or dare.”

“I vote truth or dare!” Dash raised her hand.

“Anyone else?” Sunset asked. Everyone raised their hand.

“Please be nice...” Fluttershy said. Dash put her hand around Fluttershy’s neck.

“Don't worry Shy, I'll go easy on you.” Dash said.

“Thank you...” Dash let go of her. Everyone formed a circle.

“Wait! Do you guys want to do it spin the bottle style?” Pinkie asked.

Everyone just looked confused. “Okay, let mama Pinkie explain: You have a bottle, you spin it. The person it stops on has to say if she wants truth or dare. Easy.”

"Sure." Applejack said.

"I call spinning first!" Pinkie said. she grabbed a water bottle from Dash's bag and drank the water. After a few seconds, she put the bottle in between them. She spun the bottle. "Please land on Dashie. Come on come on come on."

"Why do you want it to land on Rainbow?" Starlight asked.

"For a reason." Pinkie smirked. Fortunately for her, the bottle landed on Dash. Dash groaned.

"I'm pretty sure you want me to dare me to do something embarrassing so I'm going to pick truth." Pinkie smirked again.

"How did you get the pink bra?"

"What kind of question is this?"

"Shush, I'm asking the questions."

"I bought it. Why are you asking anyways? It's perfectly normal to wear a pink bra?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you didn't buy it for anyone, I just can't imagine you wearing pink, that's all."

"Um.. Okay.. My turn to spin." Dash span the bottle. "Oh by the way Pinkie, you can have this bottle, I don't want it anymore." The bottle landed on Fluttershy. "Truth or dare?"

"Um... Truth."

"Did you ever.... Uh.... Hurt an animal?"

"Oh goodness no!"

"Alright your tu-" Ping. Dash grabbed her phone and opened the message she got. Her friends looked at her.

“Uh….”

"Oh, um, just keep on playing guys." Dash looked at her friends with a sheepish smile. They just shrugged it off. Fluttershy span the bottle. It landed on Applejack.

"Dare." Applejack said with a confident smile. Fluttershy crawled up to Applejack and whispered something in her ear. Applejack nodded. And Fluttershy went back to her seat with a smile. Applejack span the bottle. It landed on Rarity. She smirked.

"I choose truth." Rarity said.

"Have you ever cheated on any of your boyfriends?"

"Is kissing cheating?"

"Yep, so... On which one did you cheat?"

"Flash."

"OMG YES YOU GUYS WERE GOALSSS!" Pinkie yelled.
Everyone just ignored her.

"You've been with Flash?!" Twilight asked.

"Darling, calm down." Rarity patted Twilight's back. She took a deep breath.

"Continue please." Rarity nodded at Twilight's statement and was about to spin the bottle. That was....until they heard a soft giggle from Dash's direction. They all looked at her. Dash looked up from her phone and blushed slighly.

"W-What?"

"I NEVER EXPECTED TO HEAR YOU GIGGLE!!!!!!" Pinkie bounced up and down. "ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR PINK BRA?!"

"Yeah, whatever, I'm going to the bathroom." Dash walked to the bathroom and left her phone. Applejack grabbed it with a smirk.

"Ah can't believe you'd want meh ta break inta Dash’s phone Flutters." She sighed and turned the phone on and tried a few different codes. She tried her birthday, her mom's, her dad's and Scootaloo's. She typed in another code: Her locker code. Her phone unlocked.

"Good job! Now let's see who she was talking to..." Just when Sunset said that, Dash got another message.

"CHECK IF IT WAS ABOUT HER PINK BRA!"

New notification from: Soarin
The girls looked at each other in surprise.

"Come on! Open it!" Pinkie said. Applejack opened the message. They all read the conversation.

Soarin: Hey babe

You: Hey you :)

Soarin: Um... your friend Applejack likes bad guys right?

You: I don't know... I guess so?

Soarin: Well, I'm not trying to brag but... I didn't put the toilet seat down after I peed.

You: Ewww gross
Soarin: Could you tell her that?

You: Am I not good enough for you anymore? XD

Soarin: Of course you are :) you're amazing. I was joking

"Awww." Fluttershy said. The rest looked to the phone, mouth agape.

"I'm going to tell him to come to my house!" Pinkie yelled. She grabbed the phone from Applejack's hand and started typing.

You: Hey babe, can you come over to Pinkie's place?

Pinkie gave the phone back to Applejack.

"What happened?" Dash saw them holding her phone. "Can I have my phone back?" Everyone just stared at her. Applejack dropped the phone while the rest of them started to giggle happily.

"Yeah... I'm just going to grab my phone and leave you guys alone for a few minutes". She walked to Applejack to grab her phone. She took it from the ground. She looked at her screen and looked at her friends nervously.

"Why were you guys reading my conversation with Soarin?"

"OH" Rarity squealed.

"MY" Pinkie joined her.

"GOD!!" They yelled together and hugged Rainbow Dash.

"Um... It's no big deal." Dash said.

"Oh it most certainly is darling!" Rarity let her go. So did Pinkie. Ping!

New notification from: Soarin

Soarin: I'm here. Why'd you want me to go to Pinkie Pie's house?

Dash gasped and read what Pinkie said.

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! WHICH ONE OF YOU SEND THIS?!" Everyone pointed at Pinkie. Dash made her hand into a fist.

"I'm going to go downstairs and open the door for Soarin. You all stay here!"She sighed and then walked downstairs and her friends followed her. Dash opened the front door and her friends watched from around a corner.

"Why did you want me to co- Dashie, you look stressed, what's up?" Soarin smiled at her and rested his hand on her shoulder. Dash took a deep breath and looked away from Soarin’s embrace and blushed slightly.

"I didn't send that text... Not that I don't like it that you are here it's just..." Soarin covered her mouth and chuckled a bit.

"Calm down, I get it." Soarin gave her a hug. After their hug, Dash looked down to the ground and bit her lip.

"Hey...." He lifted her chin. He stared into her eyes and stroked her hair. She bit her lip. He moved his head closer to hers. Dash wrapped her arms around his neck and he placed his hands on her hips. Their lips were about to touch…

“EEEEEE!!”

They quickly pulled apart and blushed a deep shade of red as there heads turned over to see Rarity with her hands over her mouth.

"Show him your pink bra!" Pinkie whispered into Dash's ear and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Um... Continue..." Rarity said as she ran upstairs.

"If you guys don’t go upstairs-" Dash growled.

Well, that did it for them! All her friends dashed up the stairs before Dash moved another muscle.

"Now, where were we... Oh yeah..." Soarin wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. Dash wrapped her arms around his neck and blushed deeper and giggled. This time, their lips pressed onto one another. Soarin brushed Dashie’s bang out of her face and deepened the kiss even more. After a few seconds, they broke apart revealing all of Dash’s friends by the stairs.

"WHY DON'T YOU SHOW HIM YOUR PINK BRA?!" Pinkie yelled, followed by the other girls dying of laughter.

"Please help me kill her..." Dash said to Soarin.

"Pink bra? I'd like to see that~"

Comments ( 28 )

8536199
NUUUUU DON'T DIEEEE😭😭
THANK YOUUUUUUUU❤❤😘❤💕💕💕💕❤❤
YOU JUST MADE MY DAYYY OMGGGGGG❤❤❤

8536206
THANK YOU SO MUCHHH❤❤❤❤💕💕❤💕❤❤

8536215
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

8536215
THERE ARE NOT ENOUGHT HEARTS IN THE WORLD❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

8536224
💙💜💚🖤❤❤❤❤❤💙💜💙💙💚❤🖤💙❤💜💙💜❤❤💚🖤❤💚❤🖤💙❤💜💙💚❤💕💕💕❤💚🖤💙❤💜💕💜❤💙🖤💙💜💚💙💜💜💙💙💙🖤❤🖤💕💕❤

"Pink bra? I'd like to see that~"

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

8536266
❤ I'm glad I made you laugh😂

Hmm.
Well, English clearly isn't your first language, so I'll just say you need an editor and leave it at that. As to the story itself...

It's boring, it wanders all over the place pointlessly, and for supposedly being ABOUT a pink bra, it's only mentioned three times.

And why would Pinkie ask WHERE she got it? Pink bras aren't exactly rare. It's one of the three most common bra colors, in fact.

All in all, I'd say not enough thought went into this, and it just isn't very good.

8536287
Alright! Thank you for telling me what you think :).

8536287
I made some changes, I'll do the rest later. I hope you'll like it once I am finished.:)

Ok, well... You made Pinkie Pie annoying. That`s a thumb-down.

Made me chuckle. One thumbs up earned.

8536649
Okay, I appreciate your honesty.

Well... Where do I start? I don't think your grammar is that bad, at least not in this story in particular. The main problem is the execution. It's too fast-paced and sometimes even rather confusing. Pinkie's one of my favorite character but here... she's just plainly annoying. I think what you need is to flesh out your descriptions, it's a little bit too "mechanical", for example:

“Rarity!?” Pinkie walked into carousel boutique. Rarity was eating her breakfast. She swallowed her food and turned to look at her friend.

Where in the boutique is she eating her breakfast? What kind of food does she eat for her breakfast? What is she thinking at the moment? Set the scene and the surroundings, try to let the reader have a better visualization of what's happening. You can add words of transition in-between your descriptions, such as "however", "yet", "nonetheless", "but", "though", etc. There is also a technique called "show, don't tell", which could help you a lot, once mastered (that gets practice, like everything, of course). If you start doing this, you'll see your stories are going to improve very soon.

One of the positive aspect of the story was that when I read the dialogue, I could hear the voice of each of the girls at the same time, which means you've been able to make them sound believable, and that's a really interesting details.

I'll give you an upvote for encouragements! :heart:

(and I hope I haven't hurt your feelings in any way, know that it wasn't my attention if that's the case, :fluttercry:)

8537470
Nonono, of coarse you didn't hurt my feelings. I really appreciate your critism❤ . I'll change it as soon as I can.

8537475
It's a relief, then! :twilightsmile:

Have you read the site's Writing Guide? It could be very helpful.

Does it match with the pink panties?

8542927
Ohh yes😏😏
😂😂😂 You just made my day 😂😂😂

This is just too much lol, I loved it

EEEEEEE!
This story is amazing!!!
Actually' it is 20% cooler!
:heart: :rainbowkiss:

8547267
Really? Thank you so much❤❤💕💕❤

Mama likes, and mama wants another book as the squeal to this.

9316422
Haha, really? I'm personally not a big fan of this book. I'll think about it, it's just that I've been really busy lately and I've been working on my grammar. If I do decide to do a sequel, I'll let you know. Also, I'm not sure if you would like to read the slightly less horrible version of this story, but if you do, there's a remake of it on my current account.
(I can't get into my old account, so I hope you weren't confused about me replying on a different one) Anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'll definitely keep this story in the back of my mind, and we'll see... There might be a sequel on my account in a while.

This is Hilarious! 😂😂💖💖💖 and I also love the story!

Pinkie knocked on the door to Twilight’s house. Spike opened the door and wagged his tail.

How did he open the door? He doesn't have hands nor fingers?

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