Check, Please
~A Few Bits Short~
Chapter Six: Check, Please
Silver Spatula trotted down a hallway back in the maze of kitchens, preparation rooms, and various storage compartments that hid behind the svelte doors of Culina's dining room. He was one of the senior chefs slaving away before the myriad stoves and ovens to create the cuisine that gave the restaurant its reputation. However at this moment, he was in need of his namesake. It always amazed him that despite having nearly a dozen such spatulas and other suitable instruments in their drawers they always managed to all become used and dirty when they were needed most. Normally Grease, who was certainly one of his favored kitchen aides for reasons other than being the owner's son, stayed on top of ensuring the cooks had all the tools they needed for their craft. Tonight though, he had been noticeably absent.
Silver's mind raced with his current duties: the souffle that would need to come out of the oven in precisely fourteen minutes, the soup that needed just a dash of spices to bring it to the desired taste, and of course, the delicate pastries that were cooling for which he needed said spatula to transfer safely. He quickly walked into the dish room, subconsciously folding his ears against his head against the noise of the machine. He made his way to a storage cabinet meant for keeping excess dishware and opened a nearby drawer where clean spatulas awaiting delivery to the kitchens were kept. He blindly reached his hoof inside, already turning around to begin his journey back when his appendage slipped against a sharp edge and cut a thin lesion across his skin.
"Yaaaargh!" the chef pony reared back, whipping back his hoof as if it had been bitten by a snake and carefully looking down at the damage done. A thin trail of blood started to leak down over his hoof.
"Oh, do be careful, darling. You should look before just reaching in and poking about you know," Rarity said, entering the area with a great many stacks of dishes within her telekinetic grip. She opened a door to one of the cabinets and deposited the stacks delicately inside. Then looking down at the chef's bloodied limb she tutted and lead him towards a sink so he could wash.
"I do hope none of that got onto the knives." the white unicorn said, looking back towards the drawer.
Silver, still biting his lip at the surprise of the sudden cut whipped his head towards Rarity's somewhat callous remark. "What on earth are knives doing in there? That is and always has been the area for the spatulas!" The chef said as he resentfully cleaned out the cut under the faucet.
Rarity looked back towards the chef in innocent surprise. "Oh, really? Well I'm terribly sorry I didn't have the chance to inform you. That old method of storage was so...inefficient. I think you'll find this makes the best use of the space," she said matter-of-factly.
Silver Spatula grumbled and finished cleaning out his cut, finding a sanitary hoof cover and placing it on the afflicted hoof so as not to spoil the food he still needed to attend to. Stepping back towards the cabinets and storage drawers he looked around.
"And where would the most efficient place be for the spatulas, dare I ask?" he said, his voice dripping with cynicism. Rarity either didn't notice or let it slide, using her magic to open the drawer next to where he had 'found' the knives and withdrawing the requested instrument. Silver Spatula took it, mumbling an unconvincing, "Thanks," and walking back down the hallway towards the kitchens once more.
Rarity returned to the dish machine, where her brief distraction had forced the machine to stop while it waited for the end to be unloaded. What she saw however made her tilt her head to the side, trying to make sense of the odd positioning of the cups sitting on the tines of the conveyor belt. It seemed as if they were forming something. A shape that had two points on top, then curving out and around to meet again in the middle a few rows below.
Rarity frowned as she tried to understand the meaning of it, then merely shrugged and grabbed hold of all the cups in her magical grip, stacking them neatly into each other.
"Oh Spike, dear!" She called towards the loading end of the machine. Spike immediately appeared at her side, looking eagerly up at her and holding his claws behind his back.
"Yeeees?"
"Be a dear and try to condense the space you use for the dishes. The more you can cluster together, the faster we'll get the job done," she said, turning away to go place the cups into storage. The young dragon reached up a claw, about to speak but then gave up as she walked away and settled into a disappointed scowl, kicking at the floor and plodding back to the front of the machine.
Sudsy, who had seen what he thought was an obvious attempt at a romantic gesture chuckled as the poor dragon hopped back up on his stool and continued loading the machine, making the best use of the space available. Putting his broom against the wall, he walked up to the other side of the loading end and grabbed the hose so that he could rinse off the incoming plates, leaving Spike free to load them in the machine. The pouting dragon gave up the hose freely.
"So you got a thing for the lady unicorn, eh kid?" he said smirking.
"SHHH! IT'S A SECRET!" Pinkie Pie yelled from over where she and Applejack were scrubbing pots and pans. Applejack flinched and dropped the pan she was scrubbing out of surprise at the sudden outburst next to her, and Pinkie giggled.
"Ah swear I'm gonna go deaf by tha end'a tha night..." the cowpony said, trying in vain to massage the ringing out of her ears.
Sudsy recovered from the sudden shouting quickly, rolling his eyes at the pink mare's antics and looking back towards Spike. The dragon was trying to hide blushing cheeks, concentrating and moving a set of plates onto the conveyor. Finally he sighed.
"Maybe a little," he admitted. Sudsy smiled, fondly remembering his own days as a youth, chasing after various mares. The heartbreak was never his favorite part, of course. But now being able to look back on it with the added wisdom of the years that had passed, he saw it as a valuable time of growth.
"Listen, kid, I don't know much about dragons, but seems to me like you got a nice long life ahead of ya. Someday you'll find yourself a nice female dragon, I'm sure. No need to spend your emotions on mares," Sudsy said while rinsing off a few more dishes.
Spike's scowl persisted and he didn't reply immediately. Sudsy resisted a chuckle. Of course he knew that his advice would be met with a fair amount of disdain. In his time, he would have sneered at the same words. Well, as they applied to mares anyway. He had no intention of courting a dragoness. He grimaced at the thought of the sharp scales, spikes, teeth, and other nasty bits. In any case, in his opinion, advice relating to romantic relationship always sounded trite no matter how sincere your intentions. Nopony ever liked hearing the words, yet it didn't make them any less true.
"You know, now that I think of it, I don't remember seeing any girl dragons during the Great Dragon Migration. But...If there are no girl dragons, then..." Spike fell into a contemplative silence. Sudsy shuffled uncomfortably, guessing the direction of his train of thought.
"Hey, where do eggs come from?" Spike asked innocently. Sudsy suddenly developed a rather serious sounding coughing fit while Spike looked confused, "You ok?"
Sudsy pounded his chest a couple times and nodded, hoping it would be enough to make the young dragon forget his question. Unfortunately, he still looked at the stallion expectantly. Sudsy squirmed, scratching the back of his head.
"Er...Why don't you ask Miss Sparkle about that one, I'm sure she knows more than I do on the subject," Sudsy said awkwardly. Spike sighed and went back to loading dishes.
"I tried a couple times but then it always turns out it's time for me to do the dishes, or sweep the floors, or some other chore I've forgotten about. Hey, maybe I should ask her after we all get out of here so we're not distracted by anything!" Spike said, snapping his claws as he came up with the solution. Sudsy laughed nervously.
"Yeah, uh...You do that," he thought, making a mental note to warn Twilight of the impending 'talk' she'd have to eventually have with Spike.
~~~
She speeds around the soup...Dodges the dessert tray...Drops off the check! This mare's on fire! No other pony could hope to match her speed or serving prowess. Why, if there were a Wonderbolt equivalent for serving-ponies, she'd be the captain!
Suddenly, the flank of a lavender unicorn disagreed with Rainbow Dash as she crashed into it.
"Gyah!" Twilight yelped in surprised, getting shoved into Perfect Appetite, who caught her and held her for a brief, extremely awkward, moment before helping her restore her balance.
Rainbow Dash shook the dizziness from her head as she reasserted her bearings and grinned sheepishly.
"Oops...Sorry, Twilight, gotta run!" Rainbow said as she backed away and resumed her course, practically galloping back into the kitchen to fulfill another order. The pegasus was now on her way to fulfill Spitfire and Soarin's request, having had to take care of a few of her other tables first.
Twilight narrowed her eyes at Rainbow, still fighting off a shiver of revulsion running down her spine from Appetite's touch. She briefly entertained the ways she could get back at Rainbow, but for now she still had work to do. She restored the calm and collected look on her face, turning back towards Perfect Appetite, who was straightening his tie.
"I'm so sorry about that, Mr. Appetite," Twilight said, taking hold of her notepad again.
"I'm not, my dear," Perfect said with a grin that renewed the ice that ran through Twilight's veins. She put enormous effort into keeping a face of serene calm in place. How on earth did Princess Celestia do it all the time?
"What did you say you would like to have from the kitchen again?" Twilight said through clenched teeth.
Appetite collected himself and peeked down at the menu, finally deciding on a not-particularly complicated dish of mixed greens stir-fried with various vegetables and rice.
"I'll get that for you right away," Twilight said, writing down the order and trying not to gallop away from the table.
"Hurry back!" he called, nearly breaking Twilight's last bit of restraint.
She made it to the kitchen without incident, her countenance dropping as soon as she was out of sight. Bottom Line awaited her, having been watching through the window.
"Rather friendly, isn't he?" he quipped dryly. Twilight looked at him with a deadpan glare, but the manager replied with a sympathetic smile.
"He's quite possibly the slimiest stallion I've ever met," Twilight said, "And I know Prince Blueblood."
"Try serving him," Bottom Line replied quickly, heading towards the kitchen and beckoning Twilight to follow.
"Let me see his order," Bottom Line said. Twilight gladly levitated it into his possession. The manager raised an eyebrow.
"Seems almost too simple. I suppose we'll just have to knock it out of the park for him. Silver!" Bottom Line called to a chef in the kitchen. Silver Spatula trotted away from an oven where he was putting the final touches on a pot of sauce. Bottom Line passed the order off to him and Silver looked at it suspiciously as well.
"Got it handled, boss," the chef replied confidently. Before he could get back to his cooking area, Bottom Line held out a hoof towards his shoulder, stopping him. Then he pointed down at Silver's covered hoof, his eyes asking the question. Silver frowned, rolling his eyes.
"Little mix up with the 'new storage system' in the dish room," Silver replied cynically. Bottom Line cocked his head to the side. He didn't recall having the dish room reorganized.
"One of those mares back in the dish room. Insisted on a more 'efficient' way to store all the dishware and utensils. Guess what went in the old spatula drawer," Silver said, before turning away and going to prepare Perfect's meal.
Bottom Line looked towards Twilight, who giggled, glad for the small bit of levity it brought to her mood.
"That's Rarity for you," she said, smiling. Bottom Line merely smirked, supposing that he should go and inspect this new storage system later to see if it really was any better. If it did turn out to work better, a thought occurred to him. It was rather ironic, but it almost felt as if he would be the one indebted to these mares after the night was over.
"Look out, comin' through!"
Rainbow Dash turned a corner suddenly, carrying a tray with a basket of bread, a bottle of wine and two glasses. Twilight gasped and only a very reflexive teleportation of herself and Bottom Line to the other side of the rushing pegasus saved them from another collision. Rainbow threw back a hurried, "Sorry!" over her shoulder and rushed out the door.
Bottom Line shook the sudden disorientation while Twilight briefly considered teleporting Rainbow to join the other stallions she had sent to the top of the mountain.
Rainbow Dash was already out the door and in the dining room however. Spitfire and Soarin's table was just ahead. Just a few more strides and-
A diner sitting at a table just to her left suddenly scooted back, preparing to stand. This pushed the seat directly into Rainbow's path, but she quickly reacted, dodging to the side. However this set her off balance and she had trouble correcting the sudden shift in weight, especially when the wine bottle slid across the tray, altering the balance. Rainbow reflexively tried to flare her wings out to steady herself, but they strained helplessly against the server's jacket she wore. Blood drained from her face as she mentally calculated just how and where she was about to fall flat on her face.
Spitfire noticed as well, her eyes widening and body stiffening in her seat. A few more strides saw Rainbow finally lose her balance and trip. She face-planted into the ground, sending the tray she was carrying as well as its contents flipping through the air.
"My food!" Soarin cried, tracking the dinner rolls as they flied through the air. Spitfire closed her eyes and shrunk back in her seat.
The breadbasket flipped one last time before landing directly in the center of the table, with each roll landing neatly into its folds, only a few crumbs out of place. The two wine glasses both landed on their bases, wobbling a few times before settling down. Finally, the wine bottle landed neatly in between the glasses.
Soarin and Rainbow's jaws dropped as they stared at the scene in disbelief. Spitfire, as well as several other patrons who had witnessed the incident looked on quizzically. One clapped awkwardly, assuming it was some sort of act.
"I thought that sort of thing only happened in cartoons," Spitfire said, finally finding her voice.
Soarin smirked, "If it were a cartoon, the cork wou-"
Suddenly the wine bottle burst open, shooting the cork straight up followed by a small geyser of foam. The cork hit the chandelier overhead and ricocheted off, hitting Soarin squarely between the eyes before landing harmlessly on the table. Soarin flinched and brought a hoof up to his snout, massaging it tenderly and cursing.
"Son of a diamond dog..."
Spitfire snorted and burst out into uproarious laughter. Rainbow, who had been biting her tongue, followed Spitfire's lead now that she saw it was okay to laugh. Spitfire brushed a tear away from her eye as she calmed down.
"I gotta hand it to you, Dash. Even when you mess up, you do it with style. I wish I had such grace when I screwed up a routine," she said, chuckling.
Rainbow positively beamed, even taking the bold step of patting Soarin on the shoulder sympathetically. The afflicted stallion gave Spitfire a short glare for laughing at his expense but otherwise took his hoof off his snout and claimed a roll.
"Can we just order already?" he said begrudgingly. Rainbow bit back a giggle, preparing her notepad.
"Sure, what can I get you?" Rainbow said.
~~~
Dark liquid sloshed around the glass, creating a small vortex as Harold Stormfront idly stared off into the distance. The General's thoughts wandered far and wide beyond the room he presently occupied. The sounds of fierce battle rang through his head, dulled somewhat by the buzz of the alcohol.
It wasn't the trauma of past conflicts that had him deep in his own thoughts however. He had more or less become accustomed to those memories and accepted them. The General wasn't one to be put out of commission easily, whether physically or mentally. Tonight it was something else occupying his thoughts. His mind wandered back to his place of rest, his home, and the mare that was always patiently awaiting him.
As the mare faded from the setting in his mind, he was abruptly brought back to his senses by a pale yellow pegasus standing before him. He scowled.
"I need nothing from you right now, girl. Leave me be," he said gruffly, staring down at his glass. Fluttershy frowned, but didn't retreat. The General looked up from his glass and sighed.
"What are you looking for, an apology? Do you feel that I've been overly cruel? Have I offended your fragile sensibilities?" he said, mockingly. He took a long sip, finishing the glass.
"Not at all, Mr. General Sir. I just wanted to be sure you had everything you needed," Fluttershy said. Stormfront raised an eyebrow lazily and reached for the bottle to refresh his drink.
"Should I call a cab for you?"
The General looked up from the bottle, looking for the source of the obstinate remark. It hadn't come from the timid mare before him. That's when he noticed a young stallion walking out from behind Fluttershy to stand before his table. He recognized him immediately, the son of Bottom Line.
"Bottom let you out of the kitchens again eh, whelp?" he said, without regard for the rudeness of the statement.
Grease, for his part, took it gracefully. He shook his head and spoke calmly.
"No, actually. I'm still learning in the back," Grease said. The General laughed gruffly as he dumped a few ice cubes into his glass and poured the liquor into it.
"I suppose you want to thank me for that, right boy?" the elder stallion replied, taking a sip. Grease bit his lip, attempting to control his temper. A soft, reassuring touch from Fluttershy helped him to contain himself. When next he spoke, it was with utmost humility.
"No. I came to see you to...To apologize," he finished, trying not to let the words leave a bad taste in his mouth and at the same time trying to be sincere. The General set down his glass, now giving Grease his full attention with a serious look in his eye.
"Is that so? What do you have to apologize for?" he said curiously.
"The way I acted when I was serving you was unacceptable. I apologize for losing my temper with you," Grease said finally. The effort of swallowing his pride made him want to take a few deep breaths as if he had just run a few laps around the restaurant.
The General barked out a rough but short laugh in response. Grease waited patiently, not letting the somewhat mocking reply goad him.
"Never say sorry, kid. It's a sign of weakness," he said finally, "one of my unwritten rules."
"That explains a lot," Grease couldn't help but murmur. Stormfront picked up on it, frowning. It seemed, despite Grease's good intentions, the conversation was about to take a turn for the worse.
"Ah, there he is. The insolent whelp shows himself. Why don't you scurry back into the kitchens before I have to send for your poppa. Again." The General's words hit Grease like a slap in the face. He could feel his blood become heated as he struggled to control himself. What was with this stuck up, old, washed out stallion? He couldn't even accept an apology without responding with unbearable cruelty.
"Excuse me?"
The heat of the situation stalled as Fluttershy inserted herself into the conversation before Grease could lose his cool.
"I don't think that's very fair to Grease you know," she said, looking at the General. He laughed again, although it could have been a monosyllabic grunt almost.
"Too bad. Life ain't fair, kid. Pay your respects, put in your dues to us who gave you this world, and then come and talk to me. Your pop knows that. He's a good stallion."
"Excuse me."
The General turned back to the yellow mare, whose tone of voice held much more of an edge to it now. He found it quite surprising that this young pegasus would suddenly find some fight in her when he'd seen nothing but a doormat before. Where did that come from?
"It seems to me that all Grease is trying to do is give you the respect you say you want," Fluttershy said. The General smirked, taking a sip from his glass and setting it back down again.
"Funny way of showin' it, coming in here and mumbling under his breath," he said to her. Grease scowled, and broke back in, determined not to let Fluttershy fight his battle.
"Believe it or not, you aren't the easiest pony to please. I came to you with the sincere intention of trying to correct my mistakes. Yet all you can do is sit there and pick at every little thing you see that breaks your 'unwritten rules'. You're the eldest pony here, I shouldn't be the one telling you to grow up!" Grease retorted heatedly. The General adopted a dangerous look in his eye as the room grew silent after Grease's words. It was hard to tell what the old stallion was thinking. Grease half-expected to be strangled in a telekinetic grip- yet he stood showing no hint of fear.
A light brown aura of magic enveloped the General's horn, but it did no more than lift up his glass once more. Fluttershy bit her lip, wondering if she had let Grease go too far. After taking a long drink from the glass, the General set it down and sighed. He suddenly looked very tired and considerably more aged. Perhaps it was the softening of his eyes, which started to lose their fierce intensity.
"I've paid my dues. I owe nothing to anypony," he said. It was less a rebuttal than it sounded as if he were trying to reassure himself. Grease and Fluttershy shared a look, wondering if they had finally made some progress. Fluttershy took a step nearer to him.
"I'm sure there are a lot of ponies that have you to thank for some reason or another," Fluttershy said. The General sneered in response, and a thought occurred to her then. It was a wild leap of intuition, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Sometime in his life, the General had become convinced that nopony would ever stop owing him for the things he had done for them. The service he had given Equestria. The more ponies tried, the more he began to see it as shallow efforts to 'call it even'. His thoughts had become twisted in this way, and so he thought the universe now owed him a debt that couldn't be satisfied. Fluttershy's heart leapt to her throat, imagining the bitterness that must have grown and festered inside the poor stallion.
"I think I understand," Fluttershy said. Both Stormfront and Grease looked at her expectantly. She blushed slightly at the attention, but continued. "It must be difficult to bear the weight of everypony's debt. So heavy that you started resenting other ponies for it. And so you're never satisfied, and it drives everyone away. It must be awfully lonely..."
The General wanted to laugh and sneer at this as well. What use did he have for others that only disappointed him? But he found that any arrogant retort he could think of got caught in his throat, unable to voice itself. As the words sank in, it felt as if a light had shone on a dark mass of bitterness and contempt that had been there for years. Growing and strengthening without his knowledge of its existence, it was poisoning him.
"Wouldn't it be better," Fluttershy continued, gently, "to allow yourself to let go of all that? Not all ponies can live up to our expectations of them. But maybe that just means that our expectations are unrealistic. Nopony is perfect, after all."
Stormfront held his glass in a tight grip, though it wasn't noticeable to the others. He could feel the truth of her words cutting as if they were a surgical instrument. They held the power to excise the dark tumor within, if he let them. But that would take more soul-searching than one conversation, even if it was with an Element of Harmony. Deep pain and personal change didn't come overnight. Still, he could feel the peace that would come from being free of it. But before he could think of how to achieve it though, another obstacle kept it just out of reach: pride.
"What are you, a shrink? I don't need you to try to get inside my head," he said bitterly. Fluttershy looked down at the floor, dragging her hoof in a pattern in front of her.
"No," she replied quietly, "I don't think I really know what anypony is thinking. I just know that sometimes you need a friend to help you when you're acting irrationally and you don't even realize it. And needing help occasionally doesn't mean that you're weak. Nopony is an island."
The General considered this. Deep in his innermost thoughts, he desperately wanted to buy into her words. But it would take time to think through them and to figure how they applied to his life now. He had a long night ahead of him, and it wasn't going to start while he stayed with this bottle. Still retaining an air of dignity, he looked up from his glass.
"Bring me my check, if you would. Please."
Fluttershy and Grease smiled and the pegasus daintily bowed her head.
"Of course, sir," she said as they both turned to head back into the kitchen. They both just as quickly stopped, however, coming face to face with Bottom Line. The restaurant manager had a carefully controlled look on his face as he eyed Grease, who wilted under his stare.
"Don't you trouble yourself with it, Harold. It's on the house," Bottom Line said. "I hope my son hasn't been disturbing you."
Harold Stormfront waved a hoof in front of him, dismissing the issue. Bottom Line was surprised at the gesture.
"Not at all, Bottom. In fact he just decided to stop by to apologize for his behavior when last we spoke," the General said. Bottom Line looked towards Grease, almost suspiciously. His son only nodded in confirmation however. The General cleared his throat before continuing, "For which I forgive him. I'm aware I'm not the easiest pony to get along with."
Bottom Line marveled. He had known Stormfront for quite some time- he was a family friend of his own father. He'd never heard him actually accept anyone's apology before. He looked over towards Ellbogen, who smiled weakly back at him. Fluttershy beamed, having seen the situation begin to resolve itself. Bottom Line was about to reply, when Stellar Tray entered the room, a worried look on her face.
"Mr. Line? We have a problem in the main dining room..."
~~~
Twilight should have teleported them farther; Like the Crystal Empire, maybe. In any case, it was evident that the three stallions she had removed from the restaurant earlier that night had not cooled off out in the cold and snow where she had sent them. Twilight spotted them as soon as they came in and strong-armed their way past the maitre d, the unicorn stallion in front looking around for her. The other two looked quite cold, tired, and overall less concerned with exacting revenge.
Twilight had been explaining the magical mechanics behind teleportation as she spotted them.
"Uh...how about a demonstration!" Twilight said suddenly. Perfect Appetite's eyes lit up, suddenly gleeful at the opportunity.
"Oh yes, quite! Where would you take us? I know the most darling little-" he said, practically clopping his hooves together in excitement. Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Actually it will just be me. Teleporting much more is, uh...draining," she blatantly lied. Closing her eyes, her horn shone briefly before a sharp pop! signaled her departure.
Perfect Appetite forgot his disappointment at not being included and clapped like a giddy schoolfilly. He had never developed his magical prowess much beyond simple telekinesis.
"Hey! Where did she go?"
Twilight's escape had garnered the attention of Silver Key and his two friends, who accosted Perfect Appetite now. The food critic looked up, puzzled.
"Where did who go what now?" he said. Silver Key growled and slammed a hoof down on his table.
"That purple mare! Where did she go!"
"Excuse me sir, is there a problem here?"
Silver Key looked up from the table and came face to face with a very annoyed looking Bottom Line, with Grease in tow behind him. For a moment the younger stallion faltered, failing to come up with an answer in the face of the authority the manager wielded. Bottom Line was used to dealing with these kinds of entitled foals. Typically, he acquiesced his authority, finding it easier to simply comply with their demands and get them to leave.
In this case, however, many factors pushed Line in the opposite direction. It had been a very, very long night for him. Already it was only a mere half hour before Culina would be closing. He still had a laundry list of tasks to complete before he would be satisfied leaving the restaurant for the night. He might consider just sleeping in his office, as a matter of fact. All these things put a scowl on his face and a 'no nonsense' attitude in his tone. If Silver Key thought he was going to come storming into his restaurant and disrupt his patrons, as well as interrogate the most important guest in the building; well, there was a reason Bottom Line didn't need a security staff.
Silver Key finally found his voice, even regaining some of his bluster.
"Yeah! I'm looking for a unicorn mare you have on staff. She has a star on her plot. I have a complaint to file."
Bottom Line narrowed his eyes at his crude language. By now, other patrons were beginning to take notice of the scene, and Perfect Appetite watched on inquisitively.
"I didn't think that coming in tonight would be dinner and a show," whispered one nameless diner nearby to his date. She elbowed and shushed him, "Quiet, it's getting to the good part!"
Bottom Line was just about to invite Silver Key and his friends into the back office for a private discussion of the matter, in order to get the scene off the dining floor, when Rainbow Dash came trotting through the kitchen door. She immediately spotted Silver Key and scowled heavily. She came to stand next to Bottom Line and Grease, facing off against Key.
"What do you think you're doing showing your ugly mug around here again?" she said heatedly.
"Rainbow, please, let me-" Bottom Line tried to break in, but Silver Key interrupted him.
"Oh do shut up, peasant," the entitled unicorn said.
"What did you call me?!?" Rainbow said, taking a step forward, fire in her eyes. Bottom Line put a hoof to his forehead and sighed.
"Please you two, we can take thi-" he started to say, but at this moment Applejack practically kicked open the door from the kitchen and trotted into the conversation, followed closely by Twilight. When she had teleported earlier, she had sent herself back into the dish room, where Applejack had inquired as to what was going on, and so decided to accompany her.
"You! Do you know who I am? Once I tell my father that you nearly tried to kill us, stranding-" Silver Key started ranting. He and his two friends lined up against Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack and it almost looked as if a brawl was about to break out. However Bottom Line stepped in the middle of them and cleared his throat loudly. He clearly was not in the mood for any more interruptions.
"I know your father, Silver, and believe me, he does not have the clout that you think he does. Now if we can all just take this back to-" Again, the impudent young stallion interrupted Bottom Line, sneering.
"Please! The Keys are Canterlot's premier family, right next to the Bluebloods. Why my father suggested this dive in the first place is beneath me. This place isn't worthy of serving our housecat," he said, turning his nose up.
It was at this point that a silence fell over the room. By now, practically the entire restaurant was watching the scene, and Bottom Line knew it. The weight of the night's stresses all pushed down on him, and it was at this point that his calm, collected demeanor finally broke. Bottom Line cleared his throat, straightened his jacket, and then with a quick motion akin to a snake striking out at its prey, his hoof flew up in the direction of Silver's upturned chin.
It couldn't have connected any more beautifully or caught him any more off-guard. Silver Key went up on his hind legs and then toppled over and fell flat on his back from the force of the blow. Bottom Line stared down at him, taking a step forward and standing over him.
"It's impolite to interrupt your elders. Now then: While Culina has been known for it's five-star service ever since...When, Mr. Appetite?" Bottom Line turned to look at the food critic who responded after blinking a few times.
"Since before I could even write," he said.
"Suffice it to say, for a very long time, this restaurant has given it's patrons a dining experience unmatched anywhere else. While I am happy to hear your complaints about our service, I absolutely will not tolerate obstinate young foals charging into my dining room and harassing my staff and disrupting my guests," the manager said, stepping back so that Silver Key could regain his footing. The young stallion rubbed his jaw, but looked chagrined.
"Now then, I am going to ask you to take your friends here and kindly leave. Is that going to be a problem?"
Silver Key, still massaging his jaw glared back at the manager now.
"You'll be hearing from my father," he said, attempting to sound threatening, but not quite pulling it off.
"I look forward to his visit," Line quickly replied.
The three stallions turned around and slowly walked away towards the front doors. One of Silver Key's friends turned around then and coughed awkwardly. Bottom Line focused on him, his glare his only response.
"Uh...Could I get my wallet back?" he asked sheepishly. Bottom Line raised an eyebrow, but Twilight had already taken it out of her vest, and levitated it over to the owner's possession. He laughed nervously before taking it and leaving with the other two.
The room was silent as the patrons all turned their attention back to Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Grease, and Bottom Line. A patron in the back started clapping but when no one else followed, he stopped and cleared his throat.
"I apologize for the disturbance. You are all valued guests here and are all welcome to voice any concerns you may have regarding the incident you witnessed. If you wait patiently, I'll be providing some of our finest gelato to each of your tables, free of charge," he said, addressing the entire dining room in a clear voice.
"Woo! Ice cream!" the same patron in the back said, putting a hoof in the air. Every one in the room stared at him until he put his hoof back down. "Oh come on..." he said, defeated.
The patrons however now began to lose interest and returned to their meals as Bottom Line, his son, and the three Elements walked back into the kitchen. Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, punching Bottom Line on the shoulder.
"That was some move! So much for all that calm, cool, and collected business. Did you see the look on his face?" Rainbow said, looking at Applejack.
"Why, Ah haven't seen somepony laid out like that since someone tried to swindle Big Mac outta his cider," Applejack said with amusement.
Bottom Line rolled his eyes, not looking particularly proud of what he had done. Grease couldn't have taken the smirk off his face if he tried.Bottom Line caught his look and rolled his eyes, knowing what was about to come.
"So much for staying professional, eh, pops?" he said knowingly. Bottom Line allowed a small smile onto his face.
"Sometimes a little force is necessary, although it is always regrettable," he said. The kitchen doors opened once more, and Perfect Appetite poked his head inside. Bottom Line beckoned to him, allowing him to step inside. The food critic made his way towards the group. Twilight subtly stepped behind Applejack.
"Bottom, I must say that was some show," he said.
"I apologize for the disturbance, Perfect. As you can tell, it's been a rather eventful night for Culina. Is there anything I can get you? I'm sure your meal will be ready soon," the manager said sincerely. Appetite shook his head and held up a hoof.
"Not at all. I find it rather admirable that you would stand up for your staff like that. I agree with you. I think certain members of the younger generation in this city have become a little too entitled. As far as the meal, why don't we set that on the back burner. It would hardly be a fair evaluation on a night such as this. I shall return another time to finish the job," he said. Bottom Line bowed his head gratefully.
"Miss Sparkle, it was a pleasure being able to speak with you. I do hope we can meet again," Appetite said with an endearing smile. The unicorn smiled weakly and waved, but couldn't bring herself to say anything that would give him hope that she wouldn't immediately teleport away if she ever caught sight of him again.
With that, Perfect Appetite left, and Bottom Line felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It had been one hell of a night, and thankfully closing time was quickly approaching. Now he just had to organize his waiters to deliver the gelato, and after that his guests would soon be out the door.
"Why don't you let us help you with the ice cream?" Twilight said, empathizing with the manager's stress. He smiled gratefully. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Twilight dispersed to find Fluttershy, Rarity, Spike, and Pinkie Pie. As the crowd had died down, so had the demands back in the dish room. After donning the appropriate serving attire five mares, Bottom Line, and a dragon stood before the walk-in freezer.
"Anyone seen Pinkie?" Twilight asked, looking over the group.
"I lost track 'ah her after I followed you inta tha dinin' room," Applejack said shrugging.
Bottom Line opened the freezer. It wasn't large, as really the gelato and other frozen desserts were the only thing that needed to be kept this cold. As the light flooded the room, Twilight gasped, and Bottom Line simply stared, wide-eyed.
There lay Pinkie Pie in the center of the room, surrounded by several open containers of ice cream and fudge. She was flat on her back, tongue hanging out of her mouth and her stomach practically bulged.
"I'm soooooo haaaappy!" She said as the group looked over her. Bottom Line adopted a flat stare, not sure whether to laugh or start counting the bits. In the end he sighed and started taking inventory of the rest of the ice cream, preparing to have it served throughout the restaurant.
~~~
After the six elements and Bottom's serving staff had finished distributing the gelato, much to the delight of the patrons, Twilight and her friends found themselves sitting at the same table that had started off the night. It was after closing time now, and only a few patrons lingered. Bottom Line had released them from service and now the six ponies and Spike were enjoying their own small cups of ice cream- Pinkie even got seconds. Or thirds. Fourths? Pinkie had some as well.
Bottom Line and Grease sat down at the table alongside the mares and dragon, each with their own cup of the tasty treat. The manager sighed as he took his first bite, relishing the first bit of relief he'd had all night. The rest of the mares giggled.
"Boy howdy, what ah night," Applejack said. Twilight nodded and the rest murmured their assent. Bottom Line cleared his throat, gathering the attention of those sitting at the table.
"I'd just like to thank all of you for your hard work tonight. Needless to say, we got off on the wrong hoof. However, I am very much glad to have had all of you as guests tonight. Culina is most certainly better off with your visit than it was before you visited," he said. The mares smiled warmly and Pinkie Pie giggled.
"You're always so formal! Group hug!" she said, drawing Bottom Line into a hug, followed by the rest of the six mares. Grease laughed on the outside of it until Fluttershy shot him a look and he stopped, hanging his head, and then joined in.
"Well, we are certainly glad that we didn't miss the whole party," a serene voice spoke from behind. The group hug broke up as they turned around to find Princess Celestia and Princess Luna smiling at them. Bottom Line and Grease immediately dropped to their knees as Twilight rushed forward.
"Princess!" She exclaimed, giving her mentor and Luna both a hug. The two alicorns smiled.
"Hello, Twilight Sparkle. Please, stand, everyone. May we join you?" Celestia asked.
"Of course, your Highness," Bottom Line said. He signaled to one of his staff to bring two more cups of ice cream and then made room for the Princesses.
The two new additions were served and the group had a delightful time catching the two sister up on the night's events. Celestia and Luna both laughed throughout the tale.
"Well it sounds as if perhaps it was better off that we were not able to join you earlier," Celestia said, smiling. Twilight looked at her oddly.
"Wait...You mean you meant for this to happen?" Twilight asked and then continued, figuring it out for herself, "You knew something was wrong between Bottom Line and Grease and that they needed our help...As well as General Stormfront. You invited us to come here to help them with the magic of friendship, didn't you?"
Celestia simply laughed and winked, while Luna smiled softly.
"I'm sorry that I had to ignore your request for help, my faithful student. I promise we'll have you and your friends to the castle soon for our own private dinner," Celestia said.
"Nonsense," Bottom Line interjected, "You will all always be welcome back at Culina, any time you desire. Just don't forget your pocketbooks this time."
Appropriate laughter rang throughout the table as the group enjoyed each other's company for a while longer. It grew late however and The Princesses stood to take their leave.Twilight and the others looked ready to leave as well. Grease and Bottom Line both stood up and walked the group to the door. They exchanged fond farewells, Fluttershy giving Grease a quick embrace and approving smile, and Spike yawning on top of Twilight.
"I hope to see you all again. Travel safely!" Bottom Line said as he and his son bid them goodbye from the restaurant doors.
"Hey! Can we go to Pony Joe's now?" Spike asked, perking up. Twilight looked back incredulously.
"Really? You want more sweets? I'm just tired and ready for bed," Twilight said, stifling a yawn.
"Go on ahead, Twilight. You and your friends deserve a little time to unwind with yourselves after your night. Luna and I will have rooms ready for you at the castle for your stay," Celestia said. Twilight thought it over and acquiesced, much to Spike and Pinkie's delight. The group split off from the princesses and walked down the streets towards Pony Joe's, much laughter erupting from the group as they walked.
Celestia and Luna however turned away and made their way back to the castle. Luna gave Celestia a shove, looking at her playfully. Celestia returned an amused, 'what?' look.
"You pulled that whole, 'I planned it from the start' thing completely out of your flank, didn't you?" Luna asked.
"Every bit of it."
fin
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This was sooo perfect! the first chapter felt like the retelling of an actual episode! I love how well the characters mingled without overshooting boundaries. sweet, cute, and all to realistic. good job.
Five stars out of five, excellent job.
Truly an epic tale, friend. Cute, funny as hell, just an all around great fic.
Though I wish you had followed through on that initial hint of a bit of AppleGrease shipping. Best Poni should get some snuggles, you know?
That end was glorius. xD
2323443
Thank you! One of my primary goals in writing with established characters is to stay within a realistic realm. That's one of my favorite compliments and I strive to earn it!
2323534
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
2323794
Thank you, glad you enjoyed it! Sorry to disappoint in the tease. It occurred to me after writing that, that I didn't want Grease to turn into a mary sue type OC, and I developed more important things for him to do.
2323867
I'm so glad to hear that haha. The ending was one of the parts I was most nervous about in its reception. Glad you enjoyed it!
This was amazing. Worth reading this instead of doing worksheets in class. Funniest/punny-est last few lines ever…this was a good story dude.
A flawless ending to an awesome fic! I am so overjoyed this got the stellar conclusion it so richly deserved. I can't wait to see more from you.
Very nice story and good ending, troll celestia is a troll.
Absolutely flawless. Wish I had followed it from the beginning, but glad I got to shotgun it all at once. Nice twist ending, I thought Celestia was trolling the whole time.
2325314
Did you not read the last bit? Celestia WAS trolling the entire time. Or rather, genuinely did stand them up.
Anyway, that was fun to read. I was particularly amused by the mild innuendo related to Spike, turning into a bait-and-switch.
2325745
But she wasn't trolling. She made up the whole 'I did this on purpose' on the spot and Luna called her on it.
True trolling would be if she hadn't made it up.
I forsee a great future in writing for you, Raz L Dazzle.
I loved the story, and I can't wait till you do another one
SLIGHTLY Disapointed Twilight didn't get to wow Perfect Appetite with her serving skills, but that's my only complaint
A wonderful story with a fantastic ending, I'd say you wrapped the whole thing up beautifully
My sides have reached terminal velocity.
What an enjoyable read, the original cast true to themselves, pleasant OCs, but most importantly (in my personal biased opinion) you "did your homework" because your description of the life of a family restaurant was lifelike and this alone earns you my respect.
Here, have a thumbs up, it's on the house.
applause
and no clop 
"Hey, where do eggs come from?" Spike asked innocently.
Check, please?
This was probably one of the most entertaining and original storoes I've had the pleasure of indulging myself in. Wonderful work! 10/10... even if the rating doesnt count for much
My reactions as I was reading:
Pinkie! Way to spoil the mood, there! Don't tell me that this is going to be another problem for Bottom Line...
Don't tell me that you're going for an omniscient Celestia...
Well done, and a perfect ending besides. Off to the Good Reads shelf this goes!