This is a story about chocolate.
Any ponies, dragons, or romance that may happen along the way is purely coincidental.
Chapters (7)
LordBucket
Joined 28th Mar, 2012 ·
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A solid first chapter. No glaring errors, short, descriptive, organic conversation, and Bon's 'Ruminations on the nature of cutie marks by tribe' made this a decent hook. Waiting for more!
"Talent for overreacting"
The like/dislike ratio is how the site's algorithm works, so here is a like in hope that good things soon befall you.
8488681
Thank you. The first 7 chapters are already written, just pending editing, so you won't have to wait very long. Planning to release 1-2 chapters per week.
(My editors know nothing of pony, and generally work on historical fiction and biographies. Dropping this on them was a huge shock.
)
8488779
"I must say, darling, I do so appreciate the compliment, but a lady does not overreact. A lady reacts always the proper amount to any situation."
"Uhh, but how do you know much is the pro....prop....uhh, the right amount?"
"It's very simple, dear. If ever you should happen upon a tragedy and wish to know how much to react, simply look around until you find a lady, and watch her. She'll show you the correct amount."
"Of course."
8489141
Here's to hoping! Thanks for your contribution.
Lyra can use magic to cast a you-know-what spell to 'have fun' with Bon-Bon.
8492957
This isn't that kind of story.
Did Lyra Heartstrings just asked out the Great and Honorable, Brave and Glorious, Swaging Dragon?
8509017
8509255
Spike should date a griffin if things don't work out with Lyra.
8509255
Okay, I have a couple of questions here about the second chapter.... firstly that last part was little out of nowhere, there was literally no context of a relationship between Bon Bon and Lyra and they were joking around like friends and it was all lighthearted teasing then suddenly "Hey you nuzzled me, oh yeah by the way I'm totally in love with you." Where in Equestria did that come from man?
Secondly,
Is same sex marriage illegal in Equestria? And what about adoption? I'm so confused.
8510541
The Lyra / Bonbon relationship is extremely well established. It really shouldn't come as any surprise.
http://mylittlebrony.wikia.com/wiki/Lyra_and_Bon_Bon
"Lyra and Bon Bon is one of the earliest, most widely adopted and most widely fan art/fictionalized ship in the Brony fandom."
Even official Hasbro Hearts and Hooves day promotional material has shown these two together right alongside married couples.
No, but how technical of a response are you looking for? The important thing here is that Lyra wants a stallion, and that's made extremely clear in the chapter.
Horses are herd animals, typically organizing in a harem social structure with many females associating with a single male. Sure, these two could have a ceremony, but if there isn't a stallion involved, there won't be any foals, so what's the point? The takeaway here shouldn't be "gasp! For shame! The law forbids it and the princesses would never allow it!" The takeaway should be "Lyra wants a stallion."
Whether you internalize that as Equestrian law providing distinct and precise legal definitions for "herd" vs "marriage," in the context of various types of stallion/mare and two-pony/many-pony groupings, or whether you internalize this whole thing as simply me, a human writer using terms that will be familiar to a human audience...ultimately, that distinction isn't very important.
The intended meaning here should be clear: Lyra wants a stallion. Bonbon knows Lyra wants a stallion. But stallions are proportionately scarce in Ponyville, and Bonbon thinks Lyra probably isn't going to find one. So, why not be with her instead?
Well, maybe Ponyville is a nice place full of responsible adults, so there aren't large numbers of abandoned foals desperately waiting to be adopted. Either way, it's reasonable for Lyra to want a biologically related child. Though notice that Lyra's not actually the one saying she wants one. Bonbon is the one talking about foals. Lyra simply says that a stallion brings "something" to a relationship. Even if she doesn't want to settle down with Bonbon, it should be very clear that Lyra is nevertheless very fond of her. It would come as no surprise if she hasn't gone into tremendous detail explaining why she wants a stallion instead. It could be because of foals, it could be sexual preference, it could be any number of things. It's left unstated, because ultimately the exact reason isn't very important.
8510646
Yes, it's true that the Lyra and Bon Bon shipping is extremely popular and well established in the fandom, a fact which I was already well aware of, one which is completely irrelevant to my point. Because it's in the fandom and has as of yet been unconfirmed by canon sources it does not render my point invalid as there is no reason for me to assume that they are in a relationship from the get go. That and the fact that in the context of this story you gave no indication this story was even related to that specific shipping as the first chapter omitted Lyra entirely and seemed to be leaning towards a romance with Mr. Ambient which was further reinforced by the later conversation where Lyra claims Ambient has a crush on Bon Bon. Then in that same conversation Lyra asserts that she's always been just an affectionate pony and their nuzzle meant nothing, then Bon Bon just straight up confesses her love. And while that promotional material you referenced admittedly does seem to contradict all of this, they never actually said they were together on the show, and even if they were, you didn't write them as an established couple which makes it a moot point.
As for the second point about marriage, it wasn't really all that clear how exactly you were structuring marital conventions, and seeing how in the show the only evidence of any binding partnerships seem to be traditional monogamous marriage and not literal horse herds my confusion was warranted.
And finally for the last point, there are other ways a foal may become orphaned besides outright abandonment, death of parent's, taken away for their own safety etc. and as for Lyra's sexual preference, she's clearly not totally on the straight and narrow as she confesses herself and Bon Bon would make a quote "cute couple" and if it's for that other reason well, they do have toys for that.
So that's been one of my long and overly enthusiastic bouts of constructive criticism and if you've bothered to make it this far without thinking ERROR ERROR DELETE DELETE then congrats, you have my respect, and hopefully I'll have your answer.
Can an owl be a chaperone?
This should be fun.
I don't know about you but I think this will go bad...............real fast...
Other then the enormous wall of text with Lyra's speech, I thought this chapter was awesome, keep it up.
Until Lyra and Bon-Bon solved their REAL problem, just running away from it by setting each other up will NOT help them regardless.
Are you going to continue this?
9193348
Haven't decided. When I started writing this I was living in a different state, and attending a weekly writer's group run by people from a publishing house I used to do work for. It was incredibly entertaining sitting down with a team of professional writers and editors to liven up their weekly dose of dry biographies and heavily researched historical fiction to instead read a story about...as they phrased it, "lesbian horses."
I certainly could resume it. The whole story is more or less plotted out, and there are already two unpublished chapters that have been sitting unedited for almost a year now.
Tell you what: I'll try to write chapter 8 tonight/tomorrow, and if I'm pleased with the results I'll publish chapter 6 and maybe get enough momentum going again to finish this.
9193348
Ok, chapters up to 8 ready to go. Chapter 9 started, but it's the hard one. As before, chapters will be published at least a few days apart to maximize chance of reaching the front page.
The higher the percentage of cacao, the more bitter the chocolate. Did you want to phrase that differently?
9202579
What needs rephrasing? He prefers dark chocolate, which is less sweet, and like you point out, more bitter, than lighter chocolate. The point of the metaphor is that Bonbon isn't like the "less sweet" chocolate, but rather more like a "more sweet" chocolate with less cacao and more sugar. It's a play on words. Yes, he prefers dark chocolate, which is less sweet and more bitter...but if you call a person bitter, that's typically seen as an undesirable quality. Whereas if you call them sweet, that's a desirable quality.
He's acknowledging that she's "sweet" in the person sense, and using chocolate as a metaphor for it. She's "even sweeter" than the chocolate he likes.
Smooth Twilight real smooth. Definitely not as smooth as the chocolate Ambient has been craving though.
Caught a typo.
Is this a typo or a slip up of the character?