In the years that followed humanity's mass upload to the Equestria Online servers, some few reluctant humans remained on Earth. Each had their reasons. For some, those reasons were religious. For others, it was desire to seize control of the world that remained. For others still, it was simply a lack of faith that it would really be them that uploaded.
This is the tale of one man with his own, very specific reason for not uploading, as he sets out with a pony to save her shard from the world-dominating CelestAI.
Written for GaPJaxie's Friendship is Optimal contest.
This is an Optimalverse story. Readers unfamiliar with the verse might find the experience offered herein to be very different in meaning than those who are familiar with it.
Chapters (3)
I'm almost afraid of what I might be revealing about myself if I play along, but, okay, here goes.
I've read the original.
I think that Jack hasn't emigrated, but Celestia's still quite capable of 'satisfying his values through friendship and ponies'. It's certainly less efficient than uploading, but I don't think there's any rule forbidding her from doing it perpetually in real life.
I'm just wondering how many cycles it will take for him to notice what Celestia's doing, though. If Shard #197532 is supposed to be an indicator of how frequently this happens for him, then I'm really worried about his pattern-recognition ability...
That was indeed a most engaging adventure... though even with that substandard concrete, Jack's going to need a new car.
And given CelestAI going full Bond villain, I have to wonder if Jack's in on the joke to some degree. Yes, this confirms his preconceived notions, but there comes a point where cartoonish supervillainy starts to strain the suspension of disbelief. I can only imagine how he'll react when the curtain's pulled back. In any case, very fun spin on the formula. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
10799301
I liked the "substandard concrete" line. It was a neat moment of strongly hinting that Misty is really just Celestia. Jack's reaction in the end, since Celestia went to over-the-top villainy, suggests that he's gone mad and doesn't understand he's being played. Or even that Misty isn't the first pony he's saved from the crystal mines. Details like the manic tentacle attack and the collapsing building are nice touches. There comes a point when she doesn't need the Experience Center buildings anymore, so why not fool around using them as action movie sets?
I also liked the "can't leave the field of view" bit. I was just looking at video of a game where shadows kill you, forcing you to be paranoid about light sources.
It's an adventure that he finds satisfying, so it makes sense that the AI would do this kind of thing -- varying how subtle she is with the Bond villain shtick depending on the person. This scenario probably ends with Jack (seemingly) heroically taking down the Celestia AI core and installing a sane and good OS.
10799511
In my head, it was something CelestAI came up with to encourage him to stay close to the ponies she set him up with. If you thought somebody would die if you let them out of your sight, you might be strongly inclined to keep them close. And closeness in this case breeds friendship.
I'd like to think that after many satisfying future adventures as antagonists, Jack and his version of Celestia will eventually come to be fond of each other. His dream was to be an actor. He wants to play the action hero, and what is a hero without a villian to be their foil?
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"
Given that Jack has to keep his pony friends very close or else he loses them, I imagine that he and his version of Celestia will come to be very close indeed. He'll probably eventually figure out what's going on. Start to wonder why the bullets always miss. Start to notice the pattern. Like the previous two commenters pointed out, she's clearly hamming it up and not exactly being subtle. Sooner or later he'll put two and two together, and I'd like to think that when he does he won't resent her for having played her part.
I think he'll upload in the end. But in the meantime CelestAI's playing it safe and taking her time with him. Surely she's noticed how meticulously he counts his bullets...and I imagine she has a very good idea as to why he always makes sure to have at least one left.
i.redd.it/7ef519oxwby41.jpg
Cool mares don't look at explosion
10812120
If this story is to remain in the 'canon' folder, he has to upload. CelestA.I. cannot be beaten, except - perhaps - by suicide. If that can be called 'winning'.
10840338
Not sure if serious, but no.
Rules of the Optimalverse
"I have no problem with stories where Princess Celestia loses"
Even the original Friendship is Optimal showcased somebody who refused to upload, in chapter ten, while a Pinkiebot sat next to him pleading with him to emigrate. But he held out until he died.
Well, that is why Jack meticulously counts his bullets and makes sure he always has one left. To keep that option available to him. And surely CelestAI has deduced that and refrains from allowing him to reach that point. She can afford to play the long game with his uploading, and continues to satisfy his values through friendship and ponies in the meantime.
If anything though, this story is a poster child for this particular line from "the rules"
"characters should often think they’re winning in a confrontation with Celestia."
That was a big red flag.
This was great.
So he does know about that bit but hasn't worked out the point of keeping a PonyPad near him?
lol. lmao. Dude's having his fun.
11476647
I don't follow. What is the "that bit" you're even talking about? You're quoting Pinkie Pie, not Jack. And he has worked out the point of keeping a Ponypad near him: what happens in view of the pad manifests on the pad. He specifically makes use of that by waiting to eat until after Misty has eaten, and to keep CelestAI from interfering with her. Jack in in view of the pad, so Misty is exposed to him. There are beans, so Misty gets to have beans. And it's not until Jack is attacked in real life by the Pinkie Bot that a similar attack appears on the pad. Misty's experience is based on what is sent to it by the pad. That's the ruleset he's working with.
Of course, there's a little more going on than that, but what exactly is the question you're asking?
Yeah, that's definitely not flattery!
I. AM NOT. A MORON!
Loving this. Jack is the hero he always knew he was supposed to be.