Epilogue
Dear Princess Celestia,
You probably don't know me from Pony Joe, but I really wanted to write to you, considering not many humans do, I'm sure. Applejack and Twilight convinced me to do this, so might as well. When I came to Equestria, I expected to go on some wild adventure or end up getting into a bunch of silly shenanigans. The result, however, was much better than I thought. I ended up on Sweet Apple Acres, working with Applejack, falling in love, and saving her sister and the CMC from certain doom.
Yes, you read that right, I fell in love with Applejack. To be honest, I was a little unsure at first, but everything about her is hardly different from those in my world. The thing is, though, I thought she was a stereotypical hillbilly or country redneck or something of that sort, but the truth was much better than I expected. She's kind, strong, funny, dependable, honest, and absolutely beautiful. She judged me too, thinking I had raped her sister or had thoughts of raping her! In the end, however, everything turned out alright. I'm helping out with her work on the Acres, reading with Twilight on pony history, and from time to time I go back to my world to take care of business there. And here's the best part; I can literally come back anytime, and time barely moves when I'm gone! I know that there's a chance that this thing with Applejack might not last, but I know that even if it doesn't, there won't be any bad blood between us. We'll still be friends, and maybe things will work themselves out. In the meantime I'm climbing trees, doing homework, helping with the daily harvests and chores, and dodging random questions about how to get a Cutie Mark from Applebloom and her friends. And you know what?
I'm the happiest man on Equestria.
Your newest subject,
John
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1861611 that actually sounds like a good idea
1861611 Actually been considering it.
This was a good story. If you write a sequel I will eagerly read it.
1861699 Lol, that was the point.
1861738
Sequel?
yay
Bring it on.
1960929 Lol, I'm in Cookeville, Tennessee. I know several bronies, some of which were in the armed forces.
1970835 Eh, who knows. Lol
1971019
Once again another reply to me made earlier but I didn't receive a notification of it, what's going on here with me? I better check my options. Anyway the typical swim is alright.
I really like romance stories like this, I really do. I'm stil on edge with the full ponyxhuman couples, but yours is pretty much one of the good ones that I've read on this site. Though, I forgot what brought me to your story in the first place. Oh well, it's been a great story and thank you for showing this "not to judge a book by its cover" story in a nice way.
1971637 Lol, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I tried to focus on the relationship developing rather than most stories where it's just "Bam, humanxpony sex!!!" I admit the pacing wasn't that great, but hopefully the sequel will be better.
dang it... I didn't want it to end
that was such a good story I started to shake... well the room I'm in is freezing too
but I have this weird ability thing that lets me feel supernatural beings (ghosts etc.) but I can lso tell a good story when I see it. Although I wouldn't say that all the grammar is correct. and most of it isn't "everyone" apropriate.
just ask yourself, would you let a little filly read this? or a little sister or daughter or son?
2153743 Hmm? What is inappropriate?
2154356 well there is the fact that AJ thinks Jonny raped her sister, there is mention of sex, and and the cmc get beaten and fillynapped. I just look out for the obviously younger readers on this site. No hate mail or any thing. I loved the story, It inspired me to write mine a little better than I already do.
P.S. mine probably happens after yours.
2154356 I just think that this story isn't "everyone" appropriate. Freedom of speech. If you have a problem with that, please reply. or private message, whitch ever you perfer
Might I recomend this group for you BiE's are my favorite stories and I would love yours to be a part of my group.
2645324
Flim and Flam of course. They're obviously psychotic criminals that shouldn't waste oxygen.
1960929
don't be lonly there are plenty of bronies to talk about pony's with here.
889758
i do too and some words i just pronounce british like dessert i don't know why i'm from virginia
Green.
2156362 i`m just eleven and i don`t mind
3248850 still... I meant like 5 year olds. I love Mr Tyreste's work, in fact he inspired me a little. But I honestly wouldn't let ages "everyone" read this
3256286 ok,you got a point there
This was quite enjoyable. The notion that humans have shown up before, and been less than model citizens, made for an amusing premise. The characters felt fun, with a fair bit of depth to them.
A few issues, though:
Twilight's suggestion of the date, and the resulting date, seemed far too fast for things to turn around. There needed to be at least another chapter's worth of character development in the middle there; that particular bit felt far too rushed. The rest of the story felt reasonably paced, just that one bit didn't work.
No motivation or followup about Flim and Flam; how do two con-stallions escalate into kidnapping, and why was the building on fire? Makes no sense, and feels forced.
And finally, this is in no way OK for the "Everyone" rating; this is "Teen", with the "sex" warning added (references, discussion, innuendo). I think you can get away without adding "gore", though, despite the rather vivid descriptions of injuries.
3303675 Thank you very much for your review.
It always makes me happy when people give me feedback on my work. To address your issues, though:
I completely understand that I may have rushed the date between Applejack and Johnny, perhaps a bit more than would be comfortable to read. She does go from being afraid of him near her sister to making out with him rather quickly, so that's definitely a problem.
One thing to understand, regarding the whole Flim and Flam business, is that this story is written in First-person limited form, not omniscient. Johnny has no earthly idea why they did it, he was only told by Twilight what had happened. It will be addressed further in my next story, however.
And I have been told by so many people that this story is inappropriate with an Everyone rating. I only did that to try and expand into a bigger audience, and I never intended to get too graphic with the innuendos and discussions.
A mod even changed it just recently, so I guess the problem sorted itself out.
I'll try to write better stories in the future.
3305795
Ah, great; I look forward to seeing that.
You weren't that graphic; just remember, "Everyone" is supposed to mean the same level of appropriateness as the show itself.
3305812 I suppose you have a point. You probably wouldn't hear Rainbow Dash making a "that's what she said" joke on the show.
3305828
Or, more to the point, Applejack talking about sex with her date.
3305833 Yeah, that too.
I'm also glad you liked my idea of humans having been there before. Kind of a break from those "Holy crap I've never seen something like you yay now let's rut!" stories, eh?
3303621
Dammit, autocorrect. Macs, not even once.
WHY YOU DO DIS TO ME AUTOCORRECT!
I can relate to this story due to being a Tennessee boy from the small town of Covington.
I started this story and almost stopped reading. It was a little odd at first but it picked up. I'm glad I finished reading.
This was a nice one. An HIE who behaved himself. No graphic sex, no clop, just a decent little romance.
This is worth a thumbs-up.
Please do a sequel.
At first I was skeptical, but I have come to love this story. So much that I am favoriting it. You have the David Crespo stamp of approval.
Yeah the part in the story where Johnny said to AJ "I don't have sex on the first date" was kinda relieving to me. Cuz many times people think that just because you're starting a romantic relationship, means that it's a must to get laid. Sure I might offer my date to stay the night in the same bed as me, but only that. Maybe a few make out sessions, talking about whatever, etc. But I think getting laid is out of the question. Personally, I'd want to get laid maybe a few years after I leave Earth.
This is one of my favorites fics! thanks for the good job! Also, hope we see some of your fics soon...
Really nice story, kinda hoping for a sequel.
Seems to be missing the proselytizing tag. Jk
Overall the story seems very rushed, characters are OOC (Twilight drops someone with multiple broken bones and just laughs at them?) without explanation, all conflict is resolved extremely quickly. Honestly, if this was expanded over a few weeks of story time, perhaps another 20,000 words of character development, it could develop into a good story. There are a few threads of world building that have potential, but as it is it gets a neutral-vote from me.
Cute!
Corny.
But Cute!
Have a Dark Souls!
i.imgflip.com/1ackhj.jpg
That was a great fanfic good job