• Published 3rd Apr 2017
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Catalyst - Meep the Changeling



After being banished to a strange world, Twilight Sparkle must survive until she can be rescued while also searching for a lost piece of her past.

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17 - Epilogue

Court Station 38 - Corperate Republic

Epoch 19005184284

The central judgment chamber of Court Station Thirty Eight was dark and foreboding. Lit only by three small sulphur yellow lamps set into the far wall, their sickly yellow rays serving only to illuminate Madam President as a silhouette, cast some light on the onyx podium behind which she sat, and of course, ensure the hundreds of worlds watching the proceedings could see the accused clearly.

The lights created an atmosphere both cruel and focused. A perfect expression of the corporation's boiling wrath.

In truth, the darkness was unintentional. A minor fault in the station's power grid. But Madam President’s time was limited, and the accused’ punishment was to be dealt out personally. There had been no time to fix the room’s lights, or prep another chamber. The lamps would do.

The accused hung slightly off the floor, suspended by an odd device best thought of as a cage given humanoid form. The cage isolated each limb from the others, even each finger, preventing any movement at all save for the prisoner’s jaw.

Although that component had been removed from the prisoner after he had attempted to bite the ear off a guard.

A small light at the back of the room blinked from red to green. The whole of humanity was watching. It was time.

“Gerald Leafson, former Director Green of ARK System Five, you stand here guilty of heinous crimes which not only have damaged this Corporation, but Humanity as a whole,” Madam President spat. “Video, digital, engram, and audio records make your guilt a certainty. Your own memories have clearly shown what you have done. External records all corroborate them. As such, you are not allowed a defense. You know you are guilty.

“Your crimes will be recited for those who have not heard them. Elerium Industries had come into contact with members of an alien species. These intelligent non-humans could not legally be removed from the ARK into which they had accidently arrived. It was within your power to shut down that ARK and reserve it exclusively for the alien’s use as a home, perhaps create an embassy at which the legal conflict regarding their imprisonment could have been resolved. You did not do this.

“Instead, you forced body modification on two of the four total individuals, because your memories indicate issues with the atmosphere for them. There are several formal complaints stating that not only could a simple breath mask have solved this problem, but that the second and third aliens proved they could adapt to the different atmosphere, merely losing a large amount of physical endurance as a result of the different atmospheres. And yet you still radically altered the fourth alien, who was a member of their aristocracy, specifically the heir to their throne.

“Your blatant disregard for alien customs, comfort, and potential suffering of royalty alone would have been justification for a war, but you did not stop there. When the aliens sent a small force of soldiers to retrieve their lost princess, as any government would, despite being able to communicate with the aliens verbally, rather than contact the soldiers and explain the situation to them to aid in their efforts and resolve the conflict, you were readying a strikeforce to kill them should they leave the habitat area of the ARKs in your System.

“Admittedly, their arrival coincided with a Megalodon attack, one could be forgiven for assuming the worst and believing the aliens were working with the pirates, however… During this attack you ordered the shields around Habitat Nine to be lowered, sterilizing it. As you must be aware, the solar radiation levels at ARK station orbits are sufficient to disrupt the functioning of Prisoner Grade Implants. You murdered five hundred prisoners. The ARKs are a reform center, not a death camp.

“You also lost fifteen billion credits worth of assets by failing to properly repel the pirate fleet despite having sufficient forces for the task, all because you kept forces in reserve to deal with the alien commandos who were, according to all available data, waiting at a known location to rendezvous with their princess.

“When they did at last reach their target, and we could have brought a peaceful end to this situation and left a… Damaged but workable reputation with this unknown yet powerful people, you deployed a Wyrm Titan with instructions to kill them all directly into the ARK. That is another billion credits lost as the Titan was destroyed. Much like any chances we may have had at a peaceful second contact with this species in the future. Your actions also resulted in the resignation of a valuable synthetic intelligence on what the data shows to be ethical grounds. Director Red’s talents within the field of synthetic biotechnology will be extremely expensive and time consuming to replicate.

“We may now be at war with a species, one your own research shows to be universally psionic, due entirely to your actions as the Chief Executive Officer of ARK System Five. Your execution and this summary of your crimes will remain public record, and a copy will be sent to the alien homeworld, which you learned how to contact, so they may know your actions do not speak for our species as a whole. Hopefully that will be enough of an olive branch to avoid the deaths of trillions.

“They say this is the most painful way to die. The time dilation makes the instant last for an eternity. It’s a shame you won't be able to send us data from inside. Computer: Execute the prisoner.”

A pair of robotic arms reached down from the ceiling, forcing an oxygen mask and air tank onto the prisoner. The vacuum would not kill him.

The air around the prisoner sparkled and shimmered as a cylindrical forcefield sprang to life around him. The floor opened up, blowing the prisoner out into space. Out into the event horizon of a black hole.

The floor closed. The forcefield dissipated.

“Court is adjourned,” Madam President said as the lights turned off.

Sky Trigger - 3rd of Thanksgiving, 17 EoH

Cabin 404 - Emerald Hive, USS Pheonix

My home came into focus as Chip and I teleported into the entryway. I prefered my house in Ponyville, but at the moment, that was serving as the base of operations for the mages doing the environmental cleanup… And would be the site of the reconstruction efforts starting next month or so. Depending on who won the contract to do the rebuilding.

Still, I liked our cabin. Half sleek and graceful technologically inspired designs with plenty of aesthetic glow strips, half rustic townhouse with a pink motif. A perfect compromise between Pinkie’s tastes and my own. An environment everyone likes is the key to a happy home.

I looked down at Chip as he stood next to me, curiously looking around, foretalons grasped together, clearly trying not to ask me a billion questions about every little thing.

I smiled. “It’s okay Chip. I’ll explain everything to you soon,” I said with a chuckle. “Anywho, this is my home. If you want to stay with my wife and I, this is where you’d be living. What do you think?”

“I like it!” He chirped happily. “It’s got cool machine things and also pretty things. I’d like to see the sky though…”

“Wait, you can’t see me?” I joked.

Chip frowned, then his still unskinned tail flicked up and down. “Heh… Okay that was a little funny,” he admitted.

“Do I hear a squeaky voiced little lizard guy?” Pinkie called from the kitchen, poking her head around the door to look into the living room a moment later. “Hi there! I’m Pinkie Pie, Sky mentioned he’d found a humm… Foster Foal? No no that doesn't work, you’re older than a foal. Meh, you know what I mean! Normally I do a whole welcome party for everyone as soon as they come to town, but I have no idea what you like to eat and I’ve never even met someone like you before.

“I’m making a whole selection of little test cakes so when they’re done you can-”

“Help you frost them?” Chip asked eagerly, hopping from talon to talon slightly. “That would be fun! Mom never let me frost things because she always wanted the recipes to be exactly like they said in the books, and that means we couldn’t ever do anything interesting with anything. Even the little cakes. Blank white frosting looks a lot like a painting that’s not painted yet, you know?”

Pinkie tilted her head while Chip rambled, then grinned at me. “You were totally right, Triggie! He is like the colt we never had,” Pinkie exclaimed. “Come on little guy, I’ll show you how to mix frosting colors and you can do anything you want! Ooooo! IDEA! You can help me plan your Welcome to Temporary Ponyville While the Actual Ponyville is Rebuilt Party!”

Chip blinked and looked up at me. “You think I’m like your hatchling?” He asked.

I paused for a moment and then nodded. “Yes. That’s an expression though. I’m not crazy, well, not like that at least. You like machines the same way I do, and you’re whole family likes food the same way Pinkie does. I imagine that’s what any child the two of us had would be like.”

Chip slumped, his head and tail drooping sadly. “Oh… Can you two not have eggs?”

Pinkie stepped out of the kitchen, sliding a rubber spatula behind one ear as she walked over to Chip. “I’m sure we could have eggs if Sky’s brother Lily helped, but we’re mammals, not reptiles you sillyfilly! We have live babies, not eggs,” Pinkie explained. “And we can. We just haven’t yet. Which is really really weird because we’ve been together for nine years!

“I mean, nine times four hundred is three thousand six hundred, and three thousand six hundred times and average of three per day is-”

I cleared my throat, giving Pinkie the strongest ‘please stop’ look I could muster.

“OH! Um, sorry Triggie,” she apologised with a giggle. “We have tried a lot, and nothing is medically wrong or anything. We just haven't gotten lucky yet, so if you want you could be our little dino-colt! Or big dino colt. How old are you? Are you a grown up? You’re child sized for a pony…”

“We live until we’re killed by something. I lost count,” Chip admitted. “But I can call you mom and dad if it makes you happy and means I can bake and make things!”

I smiled happily and gave Chip’s head feathers a tousle. “Then get on in there and help mom bake for your party,” I said before trotting over to Pinkie and giving her a kiss on the lips. “Sorry Ponk, but I need to be there when Twilight gets to Canterlot. As soon as I’ve given Tia my report I’ll be back here and we can snuggle up… After getting Chip set up in one of the spare rooms.”

Pinkie nodded once, ears drooping a little as she returned my kiss. “That’s okay. I know…” She paused trailing off before gasping. “Oh my gosh! I totally didn’t- Twilight’s back! Chip, you’re going to take a break so you can meet all of mom’s friends and we will all go say hi to Twilight together then come back here and do the baking!”

I laughed and nodded. “Get the girls together an-” I pushed myself, smirking as I got a devious idea. “She has no idea that Rarity is alive! HA! I didn’t even think about this before now. Get Rarity last! I need to talk to her.

“I’ll get my holo-costume bracelet out and see if Rarity is willing to use it to look like a ghost, or a robot replica or something just to mess with- No, no that would be too mean. Just meet up with us in the Palace.

“Actually, on second thought, I’ll have to get that bracelet anyways. Nyota will cause political issues if the nobility don’t think she’s a normal zebra… I’ll have to talk to her about getting a better quadruped disguise.”

Pinkie tilted her head to the left. “Who? And why would that be bad?”

“Oh, Twilight’s dating a zebra from that parallel Seven mentioned, where ponies are bipeds. She’s cute I guess. Didn’t get to talk to her, she passed out,” I informed.

Pinkie’s eyes bugged out of her head, “T-twilight’s dating a mare!?”

I nodded. “Yep. Rainbow is going to be so mad…”

Pinkie groaned. “Ugh… She and AJ get so irritating when Dash brings up the herd thing. Oh well, at least listening to friends argue is better than one of us being lost in a scary place full of monsters.”

I felt something tug on my wingtip, and looked down to find Chip gently pulling on my primary feather to get my attention.

“Will I cause problems?” Chip asked worriedly.

I frowned, thinking for a while. “Not here… But if you want to leave the hive… It might be best to disguise you as a dragon. Ponies are fairly comfortable around dragons. But you look more… Predatory than they do.”

Chip nodded. “Okay. But no wings! They’d look bad on me.”

I nodded twice. “No problem. I’ll get things sorted and be right back. You two get to know one another,” I said turning around and raising my watch to teleport to my workshop for the brief detour.

I paused, frowning. A question burning at the back of my mind demanded attention.

Pressing a button on my watch to activate the interface I began to queue up the teleport and asked. “Hey, SAI? What are the odds of a nineteen percent chance event failing to happen ten thousand and eight hundred times in a row?”

“About one in three point three five times ten to the nine hundred and eighty ninth power,” my AI assistant answered.

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s about the ballpark I was thinking of,” I said, nodding to myself. “See you in a bit, son! You two, hon.”

Lyra Heartstrings - 3rd of Thanksgiving, 17 EoH

Cabin 2238 - Emerald Hive, USS Pheonix

I flopped down on my bed with a sigh, staring up at the bare metal ceiling.

“Well, that was fun,” I said half to myself and half to Derpy who had decided to accompany me to my cabin.

Turned out all she needed was a shot of Epinephrine and some metoprolol to undo the damage caused by the cocktail of expired med’s she’d been given. Nurse Tilk had cleared her to leave the Med Bay and well… She’d sort of just followed me back to my cabin.

“Really?” Derpy asked, raising an eyebrow. “You seemed pretty miserable for most of it.”

I shook my head. “Yeah, I had a few problems with repressing monstrous urges. I’m a vampire. Keeping my old personality and mentality intact takes a bit of effort around blood. I don’t like losing control. I almost did, that got to me.

“But aside from that, I had fun. I like danger. I like doing important things. I like adventure. We had an adventure. And some REALLY good Shwarma. I hope Chip knows how to cook that. I’m not even that big of a meat fan, but that stuff was tasty.”

Derpy nodded understandingly, and pulled a chair over to my bedside with a hoof to sit down. “That makes sense… I imagine it was nice to get away from your… Um, personal problem. Right?”

I nodded. “Yeah. That too… That’s why I’m sad we’re back so soon. At least blowing that super-dragon up was satisfying. It had the nightmare's eyes,” I grumbled.

“Reminded me of a Deathclaw, personally,” Derpy mused. “Their eyes I mean. Well, the non-sapient ones at least.”

“Is that a creature from wherever you got that bomb launcher from?” I asked, levering myself up on one foreleg to get a better look at Derpy while we talked.

Derpy blinked as I moved then giggled. “Did you practice that?”

I frowned. “Um, no? Why do you ask?”

“Because that’s a very human pose. They sleep lying on their back or side, not curled up like ponies do,” she informed with a little grin. “I um… I’ve got a LOT of experience watching sleeping humans. I lived in a human populated universe before I made it here. I did late night guard duty a lot.

“That’s the one I went to. I got the weapon and medical care from an old special somepony. She’d roll over just like that.”


I beat the jealous outburst forming in the back of my mind down with a hammer.

“Soooo…. Hands can do everything you’d think they can, right?” I asked hopefully.

Derpy giggled. “More! I um, I’d rather not go into details though. That’s a little impolite,” she tapped a hoof to her chin for a moment then nodded. “You did ask if I’d take you on an adventure… And I will. But would you like to meet some nice humans? Nora will want to know I’m okay and despite the caffeine overdose today, I still love my favorite drink in the multiverse and need to pick up another case.

“You could tag along. Nora would love to meet another pony. She’s the you of humans. A bit off her nut due to some freezer burn but still very nice. Especially for a raider boss.”

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Raider? She’s a bandit gang leader?”

“Nah, Raider’s just a term there meaning ‘organized gang that is generally hostile’. Her gang is more of a standing army and government now. I helped her take over an old, pre-war theme park and we spent years turning savages and psychos into a proper army of civilized people, conquered the local area because the factions fighting over it were all idiots, and she’s been slowly improving the region ever since then.

“The proper title would be ‘warlord’ or ‘king’, but since almost no one in that world has any education anymore… Raider Boss is all she’s known by.”

I hummed. “Well, she did give me pants,” I mused. “I could use a new friend. You said she’s me, I guess that means she really likes ponies. I should bring her uh, I don’t know… A saddle or something?”

“So you’ll go with me then?” Derpy asked happily, beaming me a smile. “I- I’m trying to prevent you from becoming that lonely vampire in an isolated Crypt. Like you asked me to.”

“I’ll go,” I promised, sitting up. “But there’s no need to worry about that anymore. I’ve got a plan.”

“What's your plan?” Derpy asked curiously, reaching into her saddlebags for one of her books.

“Are we going now?” I asked with a frown.

“Mhm, we’ll only be gone for a couple hours,” she explained.

I nodded. “Okay. That’s cool,” I said before standing up and stretching slightly. “Anyways, I got a hold of that book on dream magic and nightmares. I can’t read it very well, but I DO have a translation spell that works okay. Ish.

“I could read enough to learn that Nightmares’ magic fundamentally alters reality itself to make the impossible nightmare scenario they embody actually happen. There’s nothing normal means can do to get Bonbon back.

“But their power doesn't last forever. No nightmare can change the universe forever. Just for a pony’s lifetime. About three hundred years. A lifetime from now the spell will break and she’ll love me again.

“I’m going to find a way to speed up that timetable. I’m going to become an archeologist and scour the world for any scraps of lore on Dream Magic remaining in the world and when I find them, I’ll find a way to break that spell. It could take decades, maybe a century, but that’s better than three centuries. And I’ve got all the time in the world to fix this.”

I nodded to myself adamantly. There was no use being sad over this. Twilight had been right. This was nature, we were food, and that was a monster.

I would kill that monster. And also-

“Now let's go meet your ex, Derps!” I said with a grin. “It will be nice to meet a human who isn’t in the middle of being a total assclown.”

Derpy snickered. “That’s pretty easy. She’s a hoof girl, not a butt girl,” Derpy said with a blush.

I liked my hooves played with...

It was too bad I wasn’t feeling up to romance right now. Or if Bonbon and I were still together. We’d always wanted to start a small herd together, so threesomes were common with us. That had been her fantasy, a house full of loving mares to glomp her when she came home from work.

I liked the idea too, mostly because the theoretical cuddle piles would be aweso-

Nope. Don’t think about sad things.

Let’s have a little fun, get completely back into my old frame of mind, and then start tracking down the lore needed to slay my personal monster.

It didn’t stand a chance against Lyra Heartstrings.

Twilight Sparkle - 3rd of Thanksgiving, 17 EoH

Canterlot Palace, Canterlot Reconstruction Zone - Equestria

I teleported Sky, Nyota, and I to Celestia’s throne room. It felt good to have full access to my magic again.

It felt bad to see I’d been gone for most of a year.

It felt bad to see just how badly Canterlot had been devastated by the war.

It still looked like a battleground, even with the construction scaffolds set up and the obvious piles of construction supplies, and the lack of rubble on the floor. You could still tell that serious damage had taken place.

I could only assume that Celestia had been slowly repairing things to ensure the economy took as small a hit as possible. I imagine that insurance companies had been crying so much over the last few months.

I looked around the throne room, taking everything in while also searching for Celestia. Shouldn’t she have been here? Sky had radioed ahead for her to meet us here.

On a more positive note, the stained glass window commemorating my friends defeat of Nightmare Moon was intact. I smiled. One Day, with a little work, everything could be just the way it was before. Perhaps I-

The throne room was bathed in a bright flash of gold light as something tackled me to the ground in a massive hug.

“Twilight! Oh thank all of the fates, gods, and goodness itself!” Celestia said as she attempted to crush my spine.

“Ackthph!” I managed to protest.

“Can ye not brake my mare’s spine?” Nyota asked politely, the rather unflattering holographic zebra disguise she wore not quite matching the facial expressions I knew she would normally make.

She needed something better asap.

Celestia blinked twice and let go of me. “Um, I do suppose that was a slightly harder hug than-” she trailed off blinking twice. “Twilight, are you dating her?”

I nodded slowly, coughing as my lungs reinflated. “Yes. I am. That’s Nyota, she’s nice. I’m glad to see you again too. Please hug less hard if you want to keep hugging,” I asked with a feeble grin.

Celestia gave me another brief hug before letting go again. “I apologize for that… It’s been a very hard year for me. I- I needed a lot of help and with you back, as soon as you’re comfortable we can begin the serious repairs and changes that Equestria needs to move forwards.”

I frowned as I realized just how much Celestia would have had to do without me. My duties as the Princess of Friendship was to perform any major peacekeeping operations so Celestia could manage the bureaucracy. It was about balancing workloads. Somepony had to take up my slack… And Luna would have been busy hunting down any stray Tartarian creatures and Demons…

“Oh wow… I didn’t even think about that,” I said sympathetically. “I don’t need any downtime. I’ll get right to work as soon as my friends know I’m alright. What are the major problems?”

Celestia shook her head. “No. Absolutely not. You’re taking at least a week of vacation. You need that at least for psychological health and… Well, Jade learned something about you while you were gone. Do you recall our conversation about your adoption?”

I nodded, then grinned as I realized I was about to blow Celestia’ mind. “Yes. I do. And I met them, they had been banished to the same world by Dawn previously. Oh, and I brought my parents back with me too. They're in the Emerald’s hospital right now, there was an… Incident with a very large dragon that apparently belched chemical weapons AND fire.

“But-”

“Excuse me,” Celestia said in the least formal tone of voice I had ever heard her use before. “Are you saying that you located Starswirl the Bearded, as well a Clover, who should be dead but are not, and they are here, alive, but not well?”

I nodded. “That’s exactly right.”

Sky cleared his throat. “Their advanced age is the only reason they are still under medical care. Tilk is an excellent doctor, she’ll have them up by nightfall,” he promised.

Celestia held a hoof to her lips containing a small delighted squeal. “I- Oh Twilight, you have no-” She cleared her throat doing her best to compose herself. “Twilight, few ponies know my personal history for the early parts of my youth but-”

I nodded twice. “Yes, but I do! You and Luna are the descendants of the ancient Equestrian Kings, but were illegitimate children and thus raised in a distant village from the capital by Starsw-” I paused, eyes widening as I realized what I’d just said aloud finally clicking. “Oh, my, YOU! We’re sisters!”

AAAAA! THAT SCRAPBOOK WAS EVEN WORSE NOW!

Celestia nodded. “Yes. Please excuse the hug. I… I had lost my friend, my student, my comrade, and another- I- Oh sweet goodness gracious I can see my father again for the first time in five hundred years! And my mother for the first time in several thousand! W-wait but the radiation poisoning, how did she-”

“That book used to send them there is a really terrible portal. It probably striped the energy from her since it wasn't a body part,” Nyota said with a smile. “Um, this is a really touching moment… But I don’t think I’m quite well yet. Sky, can ye take me back to the med bay please? Stuff looks like it’s changing size or sort of waving…”

I frowned quickly raced over to Nye to give her a tight hug. “Tilk said that’s just a side effect of the immune booster on Zebras, remember? Just sit down for a bit, it will pass.”

Nye nodded and sat down. I turned back to Celestia and cleared my throat. “S-so um, before we go visit Star, and get Luna so she won't miss out, and before I reunite with everypony… I do want to know what the problems facing Equestria right now are. At least the big one. You know me, Celestia. I enjoy solving problems. I promise I’ll take a week off but I want to think and plan during it. Okay?”

Celestia nodded once then frowned. “Wait… You’re taller, and acting far more mature. How long was it for you?”

“Sixteen days,” I replied with a feeble grin. “I um, I did a thing with my magic and this happened. Surprised you didn’t comment on my mane being like yours now.”

Sky and Celestia frowned in unison. “Uh, it’s a normal mane,” Sky pointed out.

“The glow went away after you took off the tiara,” Nye said, sounding just a little shaky. “How did you not notice?”

It had? I grabbed a lock of my mane and pulled at it to check. “... Awww… Dang it. I probably didn’t notice because of the skyscraper sized dragon chasing us,” I remarked.

Celestia chuckled. “You two make a cute couple… I want to hear the entire story as soon as we have time. You- You feel for her in just sixteen days, she has to have done something special,” she mused with a nod. “As for Equestria, our greatest problem is the Elements… The Era of Harmony is over.”

I froze, ears twitching in confusion.

“But- But I got Megan! We can fix them!” I protested. “How can it be the end of an age? The war isn’t a major enough event to change the Era!”

Celestia cleared her throat. “Megan gets physically ill when she uses her power because doing so actually kills her a bit each time. Every spell she uses reduces her lifespan. She doesn't have enough years left to restore the Elements to working order. And even if she did, I could not ask her to give them up. Lily is working to help her live a full life, but there’s no guarantee with Dream Magic. It’s… Insidious. There are good reasons it’s banned and the tomes detailing it destroyed.

“As such, the Elements will remain as they are. Their active use is impossible. But their passive effects remain intact. Your friends are still boosted by their power. They still have eternal youth, enhanced attributes, and so on. The Elements still can project their wards and make danger less likely to happen in the immediate area around the Tree of Harmony. But they will never again be able to save our Kingdom from direct harm through their activation.”

“Oh… I… I see,” I said, sitting down as I took all of that in. ‘We’ll need another trump card for catastrophes. That’s… That’s a tall order. I’ll work on it.”

Celestia nodded. “We will also need to restructure our government to compensate, and give the military more funding. I- I managed to keep things working just fine through the Solar Era on my own, but my policies for the last thousand years assumed the Elements would be useable one day again, and forevermore after. We will need better protection nationwide. The loss of our ‘super weapon’ will invite trouble once the fact is common knowledge.

“But that’s problems for later. And possibly also problems for you, Doctor Trigger. In the meantime, Twilight… There are some ponies who very much want to-”

The throne room doors exploded open as Dash ran into the room, clearly having just run down both the double doors, making a beeline for me and stopping just close enough to give me a quick hug.

“Twi! It’s great to see you alive! Pinkie let us all know, they're all down the hallway. I just had to run ahead and ask um, well… Is Pinkie actually right about you being with another mare now?” Dash asked with a slightly hurt look.

I nodded. “Yes. I am. She’s over there,” I said pointed to Nyota with a hoof.

“Hey,” Nye called waving a hoof to Dash.

“Oh! So like, you’re into stripy girls?” Dash asked awkwardly. “Okay. I guess… I mean, I just thought you were too dense to ever notice… I mean that you were totally straight so I was wasting my- Ugh! You know what I-”

“I was too dense. I honestly never knew. But if I did… Long story short, mind control. I would have been disgusted. I’m sorry things didn’t work out. It’s not personal, it never was. Okay?” I asked hoping that would be enough to soothe her obviously hurt feelings.

Dash nodded firmly. “Yeah. We’re good. If only because my mare got to kill the jerk who did it,” She said with a dark smile. “Sooo like, Celestia sort of mentioned to us while studying the Elements that we’ll live as long as you do since we’re linked to them… Maybe someday?”

I smiled happily. Not at the fact that AJ had apparently killed someone, but at Dash understanding.

“Maybe someday,” I agreed. “So everypony’s in the hallway? I want to-”

Someone tapped my left shoulder with their hoof.

I turned around, and immediately yelped in fright, jumping backwards as I looked into the haunted, translucent eyes of a ghostly Rarity!

“AAAAHHH!” I shrieked. “I- but, g-ghosts don’t exist! YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE! OH GODS I’M SORRY I COULDN’T SAVE-”

Dash sputtered behind me breaking out into a laughing fit. “Oh my gosh, your face!” She snickered.

I frowned.

Rarity’s ghost laughed as well, reaching down to her left foreleg to gently touch a small bracelet, turning into her normal, not see through, solid, self. “Hehehe, I’m sorry Darling, my friend Righteous thought a little prank would be fun. I do say he was correct! I’m very much alive, Twilight. I can tell you the whole story later over tea after you tell everyone what happened to you these last few months.”

Dash had just been a distraction so she could sneak in! She hadn’t been harboring hurt feelings at all! Pinkie had planned this!

Clever filly...

Sky coughed into his hoof, trying to hold in a laugh.

I spun accusingly to stare at him angrily. “You were in on this, weren't you!?”

Sky shook his head. “Nope! I had the same idea though, but I didn’t go through with it, honest,” He swore.

I turned back to Rarity and gave her an accusatory glare. “It’s only been sixteen days for me! Your death was still fresh in my mind!”

Rarity’s eyes widened, she raced forwards and pulled me into an apologetic hug. “I- didn't know! I’m sorry, can you forgive me, Twilight?”

I smiled and nodded. Of course I could. Ghosts went real. I should have understood it was a joke.

“Of course,” I began. “It was just a jo-”

“Prank’s over, girls! Tackle her!” Pinkie shouted from the hallway.

Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Applejack ran through the open doors, converging around me in what became a massive group hug as Dash and Rarity joined as well, As well as Nye, who Celestia levitated into the group after she said she was too dizzy to stand.

“I love all of you,” I whispered happily just before the hug broke apart.

I was home.

Pinkie blinked twice and looked at me worriedly. “Um, w-well, everypony else is either bi or gay, but I’m totally straight and happily married, so um… S-sorry? I hate breaking sompony’s heart! I’m so sorry!” She apologised, eyes starting to water.

She honestly apologised. She’d seriously thought I meant romantically loved.

The room erupted into laughter, Pinkie joining in as she realized her own mistake.

NOW I was home. And I wouldn’t be leaving it for as long as I could possibly manage.

The End

Author's Note:

This story would not have been possible without the generious contributions from my Patrons.

Thank you very much for the meals and bits of rent. This story is literally here because of you. Your contributions are more appreciated than you can imagine.

If you would like to become a donor you can find my patreon page here.

Dedicated to Patron of the Week: djthomp

Comments ( 58 )

As customary with the end of any of Meep's stories:

THE END :ajsmug:

“I um… I’ve got a LOT of experience watching sleeping humans.

Context is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

That whole beginning part of the story was probably one of the most cathartic things I've ever read. More cathartic even than being petty to someone I hate.

And as it is the end:
c402277.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/photos/309/images/story_full_width/Fin_Whale_Threats_Image_107653.jpg?1345568617

8225129 It's probably more Cathartic than you'd think too.

And so another one comes to a close. Almost makes me sad, though I'm not sure why...

Oooh, i never considered torturous execution by black hole, best i could thing of was turn off emotions and put in a logic trap until they thought themselves to death... but i like the black hole time fuckery better!

Wonder if what is up with Sky and Pinkie is more of Dawns work something new.
Wondering how you brake someone's spine

8225167

Wondering how you brake someone's spine

Via the application of a large amount of force over a small crossection.
8225166 If you have a black hole, you use it! Great garbage disposal system. Radioactive waste? Into the singularity! Unpaid bill notices? Right into the space-time anomaly with those!

Thus ends the age of ARK, so begins the age (I'm assuming) recovery and violence.

Anyways, can't wait for the next one as usual. :yay:

8225167 Short answer:

Less short answer: His nanites, among their many other tasks, are set to make his swimmers sterile, as to not make babers constantly. He knows that. She knows that. Everyone else am no know that. (or about the nanites in general)

This was cute. Both ponk getting a kid some centuries old and bonding through frosting and Dash using eternity as an excuse to get some sparkly butt.

Oh Rarity, you just couldn't let such an opportunity pass by. You go girl! :rainbowlaugh:

Vacation, well deserved. Don't let the returned pony skimp on it, Celly. Your little sister needs her rest.

Huh, so green was the human one? Always thought it was red, and he simply went cyborg. Surprising :rainbowderp:

Question: in the cute hat context between Roxy and Dragon Derpy, who got the foal pile first?
Wait, is Dinky a half dragon then!?! :pinkiegasp:

8225332

Wait, is Dinky a half dragon then!?! :pinkiegasp:

Not in the same sense as Derpy, but bioloigacly speaking she's got a bit of Dragon in her. Polymorph is more of a 'costume change' spell than true shapechanging.

Another wonderful story, sad to see it end.

8225337
Things as they are ponyville will have an Scales Society. Come and challenge the champion in the Breath Thursdays! Complimentary gems on all Sunday encounters, don't miss it! Family friendly environment, bring all eggs, hatchlings and associated spawn! :moustache:

Has Dinky ever belched lightning? Did everyone take that as a weird Pegasus perk? :rainbowhuh:

Hope we learn what happens to Austin in time

8225383 Doh! I knew I forgot someone.

8225372 No, but she is exceptionaly talented with lightning. She got her cutiemark in thunderstorms, and makes a living as a weather dancer. It's a pegasi art where you conceal your weather manipulation via a dance to make the air around you into part of your movements themselves. She's rather skilled at it.

i know its late, but Lrya Heartstrings in the Commonwealth, awesome! also is this Nora pro Brotherhood or pro Railroad?

8225390
Well i guess Sky will repair him, build him a new body or between Lily and Austin they will grow him a new body.

Tis sad to see this story come to an end, even if its a very satisfying ending.
Ah red, got what he deserved for being a dick hole. I hope Green gets to read the letter and is very happy about it.
Damn it Chip, stop being so damn cute and adorable, you are going to give everyone in the hive diabetes!
So wait..... 1 in 3.35x10^989 wut?:rainbowhuh:
Onward with the adventures of Lyra and Derpy! or just them hanging out in Nuka world, that would be fun too, also Need more Nora.
Ah good to have Twi back, and that was hilarious well done Indy. Also, Twi need to meet Indy so she can fangirl over science, Nye should come to.
Forward to the next adventure!

8225395 This Nora is based on my girlfriend's playthrough. Soooo

Pro minutemen until she realized they want to preserve a stagnant status quo, not change the realm for the better, abandoned after the castle retake. Pro railroad 100% of the way until they wanted to blow up the institute due to "DUDE! They are working on transforming technology! It's the leadership that's the problem, not the scientists, and certainly not their work!" At which point she went for the institute ending, justifying killing off the BoS due to them now being religious extremists instead of a military order like they used to be, and while sad by having to exterminate the Railroad, consoled by knowing they are no longer needed as she is now the Institute's leader and can simply declare Synths to have human status, making the Railroad unnecessary.

Automatron: Get sad you can't date ADA, spared mechanist's life because you don't waste technical trained people in an education free world...

Far Harbor: Sided 100% with Dima, achieved the most peaceful ending possible given her determination that the Children of Atom are a death cult and need to be exterminated. Therefore, they were wiped out but the relationship between the synths and the island people was repaired and a peace was restored, young girl she was sent to find left at the island because you can find proof of her being a synth and she's happier there.

Nuka World: Kill them all. Except the Ghoul Magician. Reload game ~30 times to successfully get him to be a friend because sweet jeebus is that the saddest story ever (and the best boss fight in the game.) Mercy Kill park's creator because holy shit that's true hell. Restore park as a free trade post. post-game plans which would have been done if game allowed it- Use Synth soldiers to make it look as if the Nuka World gangs are still around, and use them to take over the commonwealth as the Institute's name is too tarnished to be trusted despite now being in good hands. use institute tech to teraform the Commonwealth back to a pre-war state, build proper towns, feed everyone, and so on.

8225422
wow.. holy shit.. i am currently in favor of the Railroad .. also i renamed my Survivor to Sarah. and i don't have the DLCs lol. But thats heavy. By the way, do you guys also have either Fallout 3 or New Vegas? I only got NV ultimate edition.

8225449 I personally wish that you could reconcile the Institute and the Railroad. They could do much better working together, IMO. I went with the Railroad on my first run.

Both of us have played all of the Fallout games, yes. All. F1, F2, Tactics, Brotherhood, F3, F4, Warfare, Exodus, and lastly Fallout D20. She has played Wasteland as well, and was a Fallout fangirl since the first one dropped in 97, I started with 3, but went back and played them all.

As a series fan, I have to say that the heaviest moment in the entire series is one way to beat The Master in Fallout. You can prove to him irrefutably that his plans are impossible due to the Super Mutants being sterile. If you do he blows his own brains out in front of you and you win. That said, having to exterminate the Railroad is pretty close, they were the only faction with well, characters. Everyone else is just an archetype. (Nuka World is worth the money, BTW)

8225473
The thing that bothered me about Nuka World is that you're the warlord, but you're not allowed to kill any underlings the way raider warlords usually do.

8225531What bothered me is that one of the gangs is a mafia type gang, but you can't go all mob boss. You can be a phyco for the sadist BDSM Gimp freaks, or a tough guy for the Pack, but for the Operators... you dont have the RP options to be all mob bossy.

This was fun to read! I saw the cover art for the next story, I can't wait to see what happens during the new age of harmony. I am guessing that there are going to be a lot of crazy events that will happen. Can't wait to read it Meep!

8225420 :facehoof:

Gerald Leafson, former Director Green of ARK System Five, you stand here guilty of heinous crimes

Your actions also resulted in the resignation of a valuable synthetic intelligence on what the data shows to be ethical grounds. Director Red’s talents within the field of

Gerald Leafson=Green
Austin Redding=Red
Both are synths, like Blue would be some day...

8225392
Being a unicorn able to perform a Pegasus dance must turn quite some heads.

I'm just gonna hope that there's more to read before Meep withdrawal hits

I'm itching to know what the next one will be about.
Thank you for getting me back into ARK.:heart:

8225634 There's a mini-fic that will come out soon, and then the next story will properly begin. Minific is a lore expander/summery. A point for new readers to jump in, and a thing with lots of juicy tidbits for older fans, including stuff I never got to write or accidently left out of a story.

8226050 It does. Though due to mixed bloodlines it's not unheard of for those sorts of things to occur. There are Earth Ponies who can do simple unicorn style spells, a few Pegasi who have the absurd earth pony strength.

8226644
Cool! Can't wait to read the mini-fic when it comes out!

8225534
I imagine that's were mods come in to play. Or they would, if I could make mods. Because there apparently isn't one for some reason.

8225534
Really? It didn't bother you that they showed the overlord is allowed to kill anybody who displeases them, but when it's your turn attacking any of them turns everybody against you?
Or how if you start killing one group the others will all band together to save the people they want dead?

8226846 While that annoyed me, it bothered me MUCH more that I couldn't go to someone and say "_____ is pissing me off. Make them vanish before next sunrise." and have that happen. I want to play a leader, not a muder-hobo.

8226947
That would also work, but raider bosses basically ARE murderhobos. They keep their position through intimidation and force of will, and are as subtle as using a Buick to swat flies. If they knew discretion or soft power they'd be running a mafia, rather than just attacking everybody on sight.

Will there be a slice-of-life story following this to tie up some of the loose ends, let the characters acclimate to their changes, and do some worldbuilding?

8226644

Minific is a lore expander/summery.

Mhahahahahaha, excellent... Just as planned.p

8227025

Will there be a slice-of-life story following this to tie up some of the loose ends, let the characters acclimate to their changes, and do some worldbuilding?

Sort of. I'm working on it now.

Welp, so much for Green, but that was entirely self-inflicted. This universe's human civilization is a bit lucky that Equestria almost certainly has no interest in pursuing hostilities. Defending against attacks that would be dimensionally teleported in pretty much wherever from a source that also has a time multiplier advantage would be an exciting challenge.

Smol dino kid for Pinkie, fun.

“I’ll get my holo-costume bracelet out and see if Rarity is willing to use it to look like a ghost, or a robot replica or something just to mess with- No, no that would be too mean. Just meet up with us in the Palace.

Might as well, the 'rumors of my death' opportunity isn't too common.

Let’s have a little fun, get completely back into my old frame of mind, and then start tracking down the lore needed to slay my personal monster.

Here's hoping it goes well, and faster than estimated.

Happy reunion Celestia is happy. :twilightsmile:

So, no more active Elements? Well, it was bound to happen eventually once the non-immortal Bearers started dying. Does this mean Discord is stuck imprisoned, though?

“As such, the Elements will remain as they are. Their active use is impossible. But their passive effects remain intact. Your friends are still boosted by their power. They still have eternal youth, enhanced attributes, and so on. The Elements still can project their wards and make danger less likely to happen in the immediate area around the Tree of Harmony. But they will never again be able to save our Kingdom from direct harm through their activation.”

Well, scratch the mortal Bearers thing, but still.

I turned around, and immediately yelped in fright, jumping backwards as I looked into the haunted, translucent eyes of a ghostly Rarity!

:twilightoops::rainbowlaugh:

Happy reunions all around.

8236936

So, no more action Elements? Well, it was bound to happen eventually once the non-immortal Bearers started dying. Does this mean Discord is stuck imprisoned, though?

Nah, he got out on his own before after all. Honestly my headcannon is he let himself be a statue because to him it was like a game of freeze tag. The whole 'take over the world' thing being because he was bored. After all if he realy wanted to rule he could have just mind slaved every living thing to see him as their undisputed overlord. Instead he's implied to have slowly concored everything. But the dude is as powerful as Q sooo

Woooo and finished! Just love, love, loved that Pinkie part at the end, so super adorable!:rainbowkiss:
Anyway Won't leave a long comment yet, (want to catch up after all:pinkiehappy:.) Going to download the next story and read it wHile I travel this weekend. So, expect long comments again when I reach Bat Academy!:pinkiehappy:

8276377 The next one is only 18k, it should take you mabey oh, say, 3 hours :D

8276378
So most of the trip there then. (Is about 3-3 1/2 hrs long, depending on who's driving.) Hmm then if I find some wi-fi, I can start on the next story then!

Well.

This was a damn good read.

I confess I have not read any of your other stories (though I recognized the Changeling one as buried somewhere in my several-hundred-long read-later list), so when I saw this I jumped right in as I refuse to read tragedies longer than a one-shot and things sound pretty grim in most of your story descriptions. So I jumped in here get a feel for the tone, and am pleased I did as it seems overall positive.

You pretty much perfectly intersperse serious topics and death with humor, light-heartedness, and adorableness. Thus keeping it feeling "realistic" while avoiding truly tragic outcomes or a depressing tone.

I will be moving your stories up in my read-later priorities considerably.

PS: Any tips for launching off points/timelines/read orders?

PPS: What happened to Sir Hoppy? Twilight is pleased he survived the raid and (presumably) leaves him with Chip to wait there. He is then never mentioned again. When the others arrive they find Chip fending off enemies with a frying pan, no mention of a small adorable rodent. He nevers shows his face the entire time they are there and appears to have been left behind/forgotten in the rush to defend and get through the portal. I'm guessing you either forgot about him or the implication is he ran off or was killed by the raiders after they left for Center at some point.
You would think Twilight would mention or wonder about it though.

8439867

I refuse to read tragedies longer than a one-shot and things sound pretty grim in most of your story descriptions. ... You pretty much perfectly intersperse serious topics and death with humor, light-heartedness, and adorableness. Thus keeping it feeling "realistic" while avoiding truly tragic outcomes or a depressing tone.

Heh, well, I should probably do a better job of convaying that I write everything with tonge firmly in cheek. My goal for a given story is "What if G4 MLP had come out in the 80s?" that's the tone I'm going for here

PS: Any tips for launching off points/timelines/read orders?

Yes! There's a read order on my page. But if you want to jump right in to my more recent better written stuff, start with Bat's Academy. It's the first book int he second 'series' that I'm writing in this setting. If you want to go for everything, go right ahead!

As for Hoppy, he slipped my mind during the finale, but rest assured he's at present bothering Twilight's kitchen staff by raiding the pantry nightly.

8439922
Sweet, thanks, and good to hear (he's too adorable to die.)

8942741
The first two Tremors movies were pretty good. I prefer the second, but mostly because they more fully embrace the silliness of the set up. Then they went full retard on the third movie, and they haven't managed to make a good one since.

“I’m going to find a way to speed up that timetable. I’m going to become an archeologist and scour the world for any scraps of lore on Dream Magic remaining in the world and when I find them, I’ll find a way to break that spell. It could take decades, maybe a century, but that’s better than three centuries. And I’ve got all the time in the world to fix this.”

As I highly doubt you planned THAT far ahead at the time, couldn’t one just universe jump for the info? Although in the 2nd era you rule that out by yellow tide void man causing it

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