• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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Pre-Gala Preparations

Pre-Gala Preparations
April 21st, 2013
4:51 PM

"Caleb, Spike and I are going to Carousel Boutique to get ready for the Grand Galloping Gala." Twilight called from downstairs.

"Are you 'comin with us?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, I'll be right down." I replied.

"Of course he's coming with us, Spike. He did say he was going to the Gala with us." Twilight said to Spike from downstairs.

"I was just trying to be remindful." Spike replied.

I, on the other hand, grabbed my good tuxedo that Rarity made for me and headed downstairs to meet up with Twilight and Spike outside.

"I got everything I need." I said.

"Okay, let's go." Twilight said.

We then began our walk to Carousel Boutique, and I noticed Twilight staring at one the pages in her spellbook.

"Refresh my memory, Twilight. What do you need the spellbook for again?" I asked

"I'm working on this somewhat advanced spell. A spell that can manipulate objects and living things into anything you want." Twilight explained.

"That's the one. Well, make sure to not use me or Spike as test subjects for the spell." I said.

"I don't think a test subject will be necessary for this spell as long as I get it down-pat, which I'm perfectly capable of." Twilight said.

"She plans on turning an apple into a carriage and mice into horse-mice hybrids." Spike said.

I gave Twilight a surprised look at the mouse part.

"It may sound odd, but you'll see how it goes." Twilight said.

"No, I'm just somewhat interested in that whole mouse part. Not weirded out if that's what you thought." I said.

"Oh, okay. But those will be our means for transportation for the evening." Twilight said before directing her attention back to the spellbook

"I'm looking forward to it." I said.

"And I'm going to be the chauffeur for the evening as well." Spike said.

"You know how to drive horse and carriage?" I said.

"Sure do. From what I know, it should be pretty easy." Spike said.

"I could never drive horse and carriage. Are you dressing up nice for the Gala?" I asked.

"Everypony has to dress up all spick and span for the Gala. I'm wearing a black suit jacket, a white shirt and nice red bow tie to complete the outfit. And I see that you got your tuxedo, Caleb." Spike said.

"Yep," I began, unfolding the tux in order to present it to Spike. "Rarity made it for me when I told her I was going up to Canterlot to meet Celestia and Luna." I said.

"Still looks pretty good. And she made this? Even though she has never made clothing for a human before?" Spike asked.

"She sure did. I mean, I don't really know how she did it so perfectly, but she is one heck of a designer." I said.

Yeah... One heck of a mare if you ask me." Spike said in dreamingly tone along with a love-trance expression on his face.

I simply chuckled and rolled my eyes. Spike then shook his head to break his trance and looked over Twilight to check out the page.

"How's the spell going?" Spike asked Twilight.

"Fine, fine," Twilight replied in a hasty manner. "Why don't you and Caleb talk about what you're going to do tonight." she suggested.

"Alright." Spike said, walking besides me again. "What are you gonna do at the Gala?" Spike asked.

"Easy. I plan on hangin' out with you guys. I used to do that with my human friends back in my world." I said.

"Don't count on Twilight hanging out with us. She said that she'll be chatting with Princess Celestia most of the time." Spike said.

"Yeah, she mentioned that last night." I said.

"Not all night, Spike. But, I'll make sure to have time for you guys." Twilight replied before putting her face back into the spellbook.

"What about AJ, Rare's, Skittles, Flutters, and Pink's?" I asked.

"Who knows," Spike replied. "But anyways, I was hoping that I could show everyone all the highlight locations when Twilight and I were still living in Canterlot."

"Hm. That would be cool." I said.

"So you'll come?" Spike asked with eagerness.

"Sure. However, I think I'll stay at the Gala for sometime and check it out, since it's my first one, and then we'll head off for little bit." I said.

"Alright, I guess." Spike replied, shrugging.

We then continued our walk for a little while longer until we arrived at the boutique. Upon arrival, Rarity exited her boutique to greet us.

"Twilight, Spike, Caleb. So good to see all three of you on time." Rarity said, kindly.

"Hey! Don't forget about me!" Pinkie shouted from afar, bouncing up and down towards us with a miniature trampoline.

"Make that four," Rarity added. "And hello there, Pinkie Pie." she greeted.

"Hi, Rarity." Pinkie replied.

"What's with the trampoline?" I asked.

"This? I was so excited for the Gala that I forgot brought this with to bounce off my excitement." Pinkie said.

"Yeah, but why do you eve-" I said before Rarity snagged my tux out of my hands.

I looked down and Rarity eyed at my tux, which was all wrinkled up since I forgot to iron it.

"Must I give you a lesson on how to iron, darling?" Rarity asked with one eyebrow raised and smug smile.

"Don't worry, I was planning on doing that, Rarity." I replied.

"Good. You can come inside and iron it out for yourself then," Rarity said. "The rest of you are also welcome to come inside, too."

Twilight didn't reply because of her concentration and Pinkie replied with a simple, "No, thanks."

"I guess I'll stay out here with Twilight and Pinkie Pie." Spike said as he sat up against a tree.

"Very well. Now come along, Caleb." Rarity said.

I followed Rarity into the boutique and she set up an ironing table and gave me an iron. Once she laid the damp suit out on the table, I began to iron the wrinkles away, making the suit nice and flat.

"What's your little sister up to?" I asked.

"She's at Sweet Apple Acres at the moment. Her, Applebloom and Scootaloo are having a sleepover there." Rarity replied.

"Big Mac and Granny Smith are watching them? Man, I hope they can handle the rambunctious trio." I said.

"Yes, I do agree that the girls can get a little out of hand at times." Rarity said.

"But believe me, Sweetie Belle and them are good kids." I said.

"Indeed they are. Speaking of which, Sweetie Belle told me not long ago that her and the girls have been trying to walk like you just to get their cutie marks." Rarity said.

"Wow, for real?" I asked, amused by the statement.

"That is what she said. But from the way us ponies are built, it simply isn't allowed to happen." Rarity said.

"I suppose." I said.

I then finished ironing my tux, now looking more flat than before.

"There." I said, presenting the tux to Rarity.

"Looks just like new." Rarity said. "Now you can leave it here if you'd like. I'm going to head back out and see if anymore of our friends have arrived yet."

"Okay." I said, placing tux neatly on another table and following Rarity outside.

"Pinkie Pie! Stop that right now. It's time to prepare for the Gala, and I refuse to let you put on your new dress when you're all sweaty." Rarity said to Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie then ceased her jumping on the trampoline and hopped off next to Spike.

"What's Twilight doing?" Pinkie asked Spike.

"She's got an awesome spell she's been working on for the Gala." Spike replied.

"Yeah. A spell that can-" I said before stopping.

"Don't reveal it yet, Caleb! Let it be a surprise." Spike said.

"Gotcha." I said.

"A surprise? I love surprises!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Rarity, on the other hand, sighed impatiently and tapped her right forehoof.

"Where are the others? It's getting late." Rarity said.

"Well, that's probably them right there." I replied, pointing dead ahead at the other three mares.

"Oh, dear me, you're right." Rarity said, sheepishly.

"Hold your horses, girl. We're here." Applejack replied to Rarity's question.

With everypony finally there, we congregated around Twilight, who was just finishing up her spell.

"Perfect. I'm ready." Twilight announced, closing her book.

"For what?" Rainbow asked.

Twilight didn't respond to her, keeping the spell more mysterious for the others, which caused Rainbow to scratch her head.

"Alright, Spike." Twilight signalled.

Spike then pulled out a perfectly red apple and placed it on the ground.

"An Apple! Are we having pie?" Pinkie asked.

"Not exactly." I said to Pinkie.

"Turnover? Crisp? Cider?" Pinkie listed.

"Shh! Watch!" Spike hushed.

Twilight closed her eyes and her horn's magical aura began to manifest. I took my attention to the apple, which was now glowing purple and began to grow erratically. It almost looked as if something was trying to break out of it, but that wasn't the case. Instead, the apple grew to an enormous size and there was a faint, white flash. Once the brown smoke cleared, the apple had transformed into a large carriage in an instant. It had gold wheels, a flag, a door, window and fancy designs on the side. Everyone besides Twilight clamored in awe and amazement to the magical feat.

"Holy frick," I said, impressed by the transformation. "That looks great, Twilight."

"Thanks, guys. But that's just the start," Twilight said, turning to Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, did you bring your friends?"

"Yes." Fluttershy replied, prompting four mice to poke out of her long, pink hair and ran down it. "Will they be safe?"

"You have my word." Twilight replied.

As the four mice lined up, I leaned over to Rainbow and said, "This outta be good."

"Yeah. I can't wait to see what these mice turn out as." Rainbow said with anticipation.

Again, Twilight's horn lit up again, and the mice began to glow purple and grow into an odd shape. Once the puff of smoke cleared, there stood the mouse-horse hybrids that Spike spoke of.

"Ta-da!" Twilight said.

Instead of the sounds of amazement, the gang sounded more uncertain of this transformation. I don't know, maybe it was because of teeth, eyes, ears, or just the way they looked. Otherwise, they looked very... unnatural. Its as if Discord came back and used his magic on these mice. Twilight looked at me and I gave her a thumbs up.

"Neat, huh? And don't worry. They'll be mice again at midnight." Twilight said, much to the gang's relief.

"Opalescence, no!" Fluttershy exclaimed all of a sudden.

Out of nowhere, this pampered-looking cat, most likely Rarity's, jumped out of a bush and latched her claws onto the flank of one of the horse-mouse hybrids, spooking them and causing them to run off into the distance.

"Wait! Come back!" Twilight called to the horses, but it was too late. "Those horses were supposed to pull our carriage. How will we get to the Gala now?"

"Whatever shall we do?" Rarity asked, rhetorically.

Everypony looked at each other and shrugged in response, but it seems that Rarity had a back-up plan. She then trotted over towards a crowd of stallions and left us for a short time to talk to them. About a minute later, here comes Caramel and some other stallion pulling the carriage.

"Oh. Yeah. Right." Twilight said.

"So, do you want us to come back later?" the other stallion asked.

"Yes, that would be lovely. Come back around seven o'clock, please." Rarity replied.

"You got it, Rarity." Caramel said.

Caramel and the stallion then removed the girth straps and walked off together.

"Now that we have a means of transportation again, let's get ready for the Gala." Rarity said.

"You got all of our dresses ready?" Applejack asked.

"Of course I do." Rarity replied.

Once we entered the boutique, the mares then walked into a changing room, but Rarity stopped me and Spike.

"Would you two be dears and stay out here for a little bit?" Rarity asked.

Spike and I looked at each other confusedly, but we agreed. With that, Rarity shut the door and left us in the room.

"What do you think she wants us to stay outside for?" Spike asked.

"No clue." I said.


15 Minutes Later

"Hey, can me and Spike come in yet?" I asked Rarity from the other room.

"Not yet, Caleb." she replied.

"Why not? Caleb's watch says it has been like fifteen minutes." Spike said.

"We're getting dressed. Wait a little while longer." Rarity said.

"Getting dressed? Rarity, me and Spike are not even the opposite gender of your species, so I think it's okay. Also, I've never seen you six in clothing before." I said.

"Well, Applejack wears a hat, so that kind of counts." Spike said.

"Shush!" I exclaimed.

However, Rarity opened the door for us anyways once Applejack backed us up.

"Sorry, boys. Some of us have their own standards." Rarity said.

"Yes, but there are others who need to get ready for the Gala, too." I said as I walked into the room.

Rarity didn't respond for a moment.

"Perhaps you are right. Forgive me for my perceptive standard." Rarity apologized.

"Thank you." I replied.

"Man, I still can't believe we're going to be in Canterlot tonight. Our hometown, Twilight. And the best part is that we get to hangout with each other all night long!" Spike said, excitedly.

"Uh... I-I don't know, Spike." Rainbow unsurely replied.

"We'll just have to see." Rarity said.

"We're going to be a mite busy." Applejack said.

"Busy having fun!" Pinkie added.

"I already told you what I was doing." I said.

"Oh. Right. Okay." Spike said, bummed out by our responses.

"Don't worry, Spike. We'll all get to spend some time together." Twilight said, which lightened up Spike's chipper mood again.

"Great! I already can't wait!" Spike said.

With anticipation for the Gala built-up again, I grabbed my neatly folded suit and proceeded over to Rarity.

"Say, do you have bathroom that I could take a shower in?" I asked.

"Of course I do, darling." Rarity said, leading me to a bathroom in the side of the room.

"Did everypony else get their showers in? If not, then I'll make it quick." I asked Rarity.

"We've all had our share. Take your time." she replied before thinking to herself. "Spike, do you need a shower, too?"

"Nah. Dragons don't really produce sweat often." Spike replied.

"Then I guess it's okay, Caleb." Rarity said.

"Alright, thanks." I said.

"You're welcome." Rarity replied.

Once I was able to get some warm water running and able to rinse my hair, I wasn't able to find any shampoo that wouldn't really, well, give off a somewhat masculine scent, for say. Back on earth, I would usually use some that AXE stuff for my hair, but I bet there has a be a shampoo product in this world that is similar to the AXE. Otherwise, my hair would probably smell like a dainty flower if I used one of the products that were available to me at the moment.

"Well, all I really need to do is look good for the Gala." I said.

And so, I just washed off my body of any oils or odors that may have been lurking on it. When I turned off the shower and stepped out for a towel, I was humored by the fact that the towels are way too small for me since they're meant for pony use. When I dried myself off, I then daisy-chained four towels together in order to fully wrap around my hips, grabbed my tux and walked out of the bathroom, causing some steam to seep out of the bathroom door. When I walked over to a mirror, I noticed Rainbow Dash's sight following me as I walked. I stared at her blankly with a mix of confusion.

"What?" I asked.

"Nice improv with the towels." Rainbow replied as she stylized her mane.

"Oh, the towels. I had to think of something," I replied. "I, uh, like how your mane is looking so far."

"Thanks, Caleb. I'm going for something that looks nice for those Canterlot ponies, but still sticking to my taste for the Wonderbolts. What about you?" Rainbow said.

"I'm thinkin' about combing the hair on the side of my head downwards, but towards the back of my head, and the center section of my hair will be combed to the right." I replied.

"You do have some thick hair. I think it'll look really cool once you get it done." Rainbow said.

"Hey, same with you. Pretty cool to see something different with your mane." I said.

With our little chat over with, I put on a pair of boxers so that I wouldn't have to stand there naked the whole time.

"Hey Rarity, do you have any hair-gel I can use?" I asked.

"Sorry, but I don't believe I have any at the moment," Rarity replied, seeming unsure of what to say next. "Are you in dire need?"

"No, it's really no threat at all. It would help styling my hair a bit more, but my hair's still wet from my shower, so I should be able to style it before it dries." I said.

"Very well, then." Rarity said, going back to work on her mane.

"Let's see if this still fits well on a seven foot-ten human." I said to myself as I inspected the clothing once again.

I brought my right leg up and was astounded to find out that my leg fit perfectly all the way through the leg hole. I repeated with my left leg and secured the tux pants with a belt.

"Nice." I said, examining my mesomorphic body with one of the large mirrors in the room.

"Noticed how the clothes still fit you?" Twilight asked me.

"I did notice. But that doesn't make any sense because I was like seven foot-eight when I first got them and they were fairly tight on me. Why are you asking?" I said.

"Well, about a week after you left for your Equestria History School in Canterlot, I used an advanced spell that has the ability increase clothing size." Twilight said.

"There's a spell for that?" I asked.

"Yep, there is. It's rarely utilized, but it exists." Twilight replied.

"How does it work?" I asked

"It expands the size of the fibers used for the clothing itself, but it took some time to finish. Manipulating clothing like that is very tricky." Twilight said.

"Huh. That's interesting. But thanks anyways, Twilight." I said with gratefulness.

"You're welcome, Caleb," she replied, levitating a comb onto the palm of my hand. "You might need this for your hair."

"Thanks." I said, walking back to the mirror to continue getting ready for the Gala.


6:49 PM

"How do they look, Caleb?" Spike asked me, sitting on the outside driver seat of the carriage.

"Oh, they look great, Spike. Their dresses just match their personalities so well and just-- man you have to see for yourself to fully understand what I mean." I said.

"I'll wait till we arrive at the Gala to see for myself." Spike said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I like to build my own anticipation and surprises." Spike replied.

"Wow. That's a pretty odd standard for you, Spike." I said, puzzled by that statement.

"Hey, I'm a dragon who has standards that can change from time to time." Spike said.

"I see," I said. "You guys got tickets to the Gala or no?" I asked Caramel and Lucky Clover.

"No. No ticket for us. We're just pulling a favor for our friend Rarity." Lucky Clover replied.

"Dang. That sucks." I said.

"It's not all that bad. Lucky Clover and I are planning on heading off somewhere in the city to eat and come back later." Caramel said.

"That's good. Just be sure to come back for us around twelve." I said.

"Don't worry. We got you guys." Caramel said.

A few minutes later, the six well-dressed mares exited the boutique and loudly chatted to each other on what they were going to do at the Grand Galloping Gala.

"Looking good, girls." I complimented.

The mares did not respond and continued to walk towards the carriage. It was as if I just talked to an invisible wall.

"Eh, they're busy talking." I said to myself.

The mares then piled into the carriage and took their seats. I peered my head into the door and saw the six showing each other their tickets to each other.

"Do you have your ticket ready, Caleb?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, hold on a sec," I said, reaching into my pocket for the ticket but only felt the fabric of the clothing instead. "Be right back." I said before quickly exiting the carriage and moved to Spike.

"Spike, I hate to say this, but I forgot my Gala ticket back the library." I said.

"Oh, great. Should I break the news and tell our carriage pullers to head to the library instead?" Spike asked.

There was a brief pause as I thought.

"No. You guys go on ahead and I'll run back to the library to get the ticket. When I find it, I'll just drive the Land Rover up to Canterlot and meet you guys there." I said.

"Are you sure?" Spike asked.

"I'm sure. I mean, Canterlot is only five miles away, so if Caramel and Lucky Clover really trot to Canterlot fast enough, you should arrive there in thirty minutes or so. Who knows, I may pass you guys." I said.

"Now that I think about it, why couldn't we just take the Land Rover instead?" Spike asked.

"Because Rarity said it was dirty and it smelled like cigarettes. It's not my fault that the previous owner was a smoker." I replied.

"Oh well. Well, I guess I'll see you later then, Caleb." Spike said.

"You too, bud." I said before turning my back.

"Okay, let's go." Spike signalled Caramel and Lucky Clover, prompting them to trot off into the distance, towards Canterlot.


After I rummaged through my room, I found my Gala ticket under my mattress. I kept it under there just incase Owloysius got curious and took it. But anyways, with the whole heading back to the library, finding the ticket, and finding the blue fuse for the fuel pump on the Defender, it took about twenty minutes just for that, so Spike and the girls had to almost be at the Gala.

As I sat in the Defender and started it up, a thought came to my mind that could've made this scavenger hunt a whole lot quicker.

"Why didn't I just ask Twilight to teleport us back to the library?" I thought to myself, facepalming afterwards.

With the click of gear shifter, I began my drive to the Grand Galloping Gala.

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