• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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The Big Day

The Big Day
November 8th, 2012

I felt something hard nudge at my shoulder. I opened my eyes and found out it was just Twilight's hoof giving me a wake up call.

“Morning, Caleb. Time to get up.” Twilight said, lively.

I moaned in response since I was still tired and the blinding sunlight irritated my eyes.

“What time is it?” I groaned.

“Seven twenty-five of course.” she said with a smile.

“Just give me ten more minutes.” I groaned again while covering my head with the pillow.

“C’mon, lazy bones. Spike's already up.” Twilight said.

I looked over at Spike who was making breakfast in the kitchen.

“You get used to getting up real early. It’s something Twilight does.” Spike said.

“Fine.” I moaned.

I then slowly raised myself off the couch and stretched my arms. I touched my head and felt my hair, which was standing up and messy.

Geez, Caleb, you look crazy." Spike poked.

“No kidding. Hey Twilight, you have a bathroom I could perhaps clean myself up and get ready for the day?” I asked, wearily.

"Yep. Head up stairs and go to the door on the left." Twilight said.

"Thanks." I said.

I headed up the stairs and found the door that Twilight told me about. When I walked in, the bathroom had the conveniences of a normal bathroom. When I ran some shower water, it was cold at first, but it got warm. After my shower and got dressed again, I found a comb that was pretty big, but I used it anyway to comb down my hair. I didn’t exactly have a toothbrush on me, so I just swished a lot of water in my mouth to clean it out. After getting cleaned up for the day, I went back downstairs to the kitchen and found a plate of three sunny side up eggs and a glass of milk.

“Mmmm, I love eggs.” I said.

“Me too. They say they’re good for you.” Twilight said.

We sat down at the table and began to eat our eggs.

“Twilight, you know how many ponies live here in Ponyville?”

“Yep. Two hundred and thirty-seven ponies.”

“Oh brilliant.” I said, sarcastically

“Don’t worry Caleb, you’ll do fine. Do you remember what you’ll say?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah, I remember. But it's just the fact there will be……. four hundred and seventy four eyes on me while i’m up there.” I said.

“Sure, but remember this. They're there because they’re curious about who you are. All they want is some clarification that you are a kind individual.” Twilight reminded.

"Right." I replied.

After we finished our breakfast, we practiced my speech a little more just to be sure i’m ready. Turns out I was well prepared because I didn't even need to use the practice paper. I hung out around Twilight's until one o'clock and decided to take a walk through Ponyville.

“Hey Twilight, i’m gonna go for a walk around Ponyville.” I announced.

“Umm, okay. It’s now one-twelve. Remember that you’ve got to be there around two-thirty.” Twilight reminded me.

“I know. I’ll probably head over to town hall when I’m done. I’ll meet you there.” I said.

“Okay then. See you later.” Twilight said.

“See ya.” I said.

I stepped outside and it was pretty warm outside. The air was cool, but the sun’s heat overpowered the chill. I decided to walk around somewhere that was near town hall. I casually put my hands in pockets and walked on.

Ponies were out and about. However, they didn’t display any signs of fear, they were rather kind and waved at me. I waved back at them in response with a friendly smile. While I was heading to town hall, I came a across two mares. One had a aquamarine coat and the mane was a grayish cyan with white streaks. The other had a cream colored coat with a mane with dark blue and reddish pink. They both had those tattoos and their flanks also. The reason why i’m mentioning these two mares is because when I made eye contact with the aquamarine one, her face immediately lit up with excitement and screamed:

“I TOLD YOU BON-BON! THEY’RE REAL. AN ACTUAL LIVE HUMAN!” the aquamarine pony squealed like a fangirl.

I tensed up my neck muscles in response to the sudden loudness. I myself was quite surprised she knew my species name, but perplexed by her extreme enthusiasm. She then ran up to me

"Oh my gosh, hi! My name is Lyra Heartstrings and I can't believe you actually exist! I knew one of you guys had to be out there somewhere!" she said in an enthusiastically quick pace.

“Well, you seem awfully excited. My name is Caleb.” I said as I extended my arm towards her.

“And your hands, such an interesting body part.” she said as she held one up with both her hooves.

“Hey Lyra, don’t get so creepy with him.” said the cream-colored mare.

“Quite, Bon-Bon! This is probably the first human in moons!” Lyra exclaimed.

“Speaking of which, how do you know i’m a human?” I asked with extreme skepticism.

“Well firstly, humans are actually a very old myth. So old that nobody ever gave them any thought. But I on the other hand studied you guys. When I heard there was a human in Ponyville, you wouldn’t understand how excited I was. Oh my gosh, I still can’t believe it.” she responded.

“An old myth, huh?” I asked.

“Yep!” Lyra chirped.

“Cool. Who's your friend?” I asked.

“This is Bon-Bon. She’s basically my BFF and we’re also roommates.” Lyra explained.

“Well, it's great to meet you Bon-Bon.” I said as I shook her foreleg.

“You too. Please excuse my friends over the top geek out.” Bon Bon teased.

“Hey!” Lyra said.

“Don’t worry, it's all good. You guys coming to the speech today?” I asked.

“You bet we are. I wouldn’t miss this opportunity.” Lyra said.

"I’ll make sure to give you guys a shoutout during the speech.” I said.

"You don’t have to do that.” Lyra said.

"Yeah. Just say what you want, no need to add us in.” Bon-Bon added.

"Oh, okay. So i'll see you guys there?" I asked.

"You bet." Lyra and Bon Bon both said.

Before I was about the walk away, I said:

"Hoofbump, Lyra?" I asked while clutching my fingers into a fist.

"Sure!" Lyra replied, eagerly.

I then bumped Lyra's hoof with my fist. As they both walked away, Lyra jumped up in joy and let out another fangirl-like scream.

Huh, never really thought the human species was an old myth here in Equestria. So old that it was actually forgotten. I should ask Twilight if there is any books on humans. If there is, I would want to get my hands on one.

As I continued walking, I came across many other ponies. One of those ponies was a very small colt that had a brown mane and a coat that was white and consisted of brown spots.

“Excuse me mister, are you the human everyone talks about?” he said in a rather British accent.

“Yep, that’s me. My name’s Caleb. What’s yours, little buddy?” I asked.

"The name's Pipsqueak." the colt declared.

“Pipsqueak? I like that name. So what’s on your mind?” I asked.

“Oh, not much. A lot of my friends think your really cool.” Pipsqueak said.

“Be sure to tell them I said thanks and I think they’re cool too.” I said.

“I will. Are you nervous about your speech you’re giving?” Pipsqueak asked.

“Not really. What I did was practice for a long time and I got good at it. Are your friends going to be at the speech?” I asked.

"Nope." he replied, forwardly.

“Well, why not?” I asked.

“Most of their parents don’t want them coming. They’re afraid that you might hurt them.” Pipsqueak said.

“Oh, come on. Do I look like a ferocious beast?” I asked.

"Of course not." Pipsqueak replied. “Say, doesn't your speech start at three o’clock?” Pipsqueak asked.

"Yes. Why?" I asked.

“Look at the clock tower behind you.” Pipsqueak uttered.

I turned around and saw a clock tower that read two fifty-two in the afternoon.

“WOAH! I’m gonna be late! Get on my back, i’ll take you there!” I offered.

“Sorry, I can’t. My parents won’t let me.” Pipsqueak replied.

"Okay. Make sure you get home safe." I said as I ran towards Ponyville.

The town hall was quite a distance away from my position, so I really had to book it to make it in time. I was basically sprinting at this moment. My breathing and heart rate increased as my body worked to its limits. In about two so minutes until I made it to town hall and there was a huge crowd of ponies. I went around some buildings to hide my presence in order to keep my appearance a surprise. Finally, I made it to the backstage.

“Caleb, you were cutting it close there.” Mayor Mare said.

“Sorry. I was talking with some ponies and lost track of time.” I said as I took deep breaths.

“At least you got here on time.” Twilight said.

“Yeah, good thing too. What’s our time?” I asked Mayor Mare.

"Two fifty-eight." she replied.

"Good." I said.

The two minutes went by like a breeze and now it was three o'clock.

"Welp. It's showtime." I said.

"Okay. Twilight here said that she'd like to say to good things about you. After her, you'll go up and give your speech." Mayor Mare said.

"Got it." I replied.

Mayor Mare than left the backstage and headed out to the stage.

“Good Afternoon, Fillies and Gentlecolts. Ponyville has gone through quite a history throughout its days as a village of harmony. From its creation, to the arrival of the elements of harmony. But two days ago, another chapter of Ponyville and Equestrian history was written. Not a tyrannical lord or the spirit of chaos, but a very kind individual that’s just trying to find his way in this world that’s so new to him. Now Twilight will give a little bit of a background.” Mayor Mare announced.

Twilight then walked up to the stage with the mayor.

“Hello residents of Ponyville. Yesterday, a young human named Caleb came to me in search of friends and figuring out where he was. He’s very kind, polite, straightforward and very sociable. This is why he has arranged this speech, to tell you all what he is and to calm your suspicions. So now, we give the reigns to Caleb.” Twilight declared.

It was now my time to shine and to face the music. Both the Mayor and Twilight came back to back stage and they both wished me luck. With that, I walked through the curtain and was met with a huge crowd of multicolored ponies. I looked at them and I could see in their eyes that there was no fear, but a look of curiosity and astonishment. I began to speak.

“Greetings. My name is Caleb. Now a lot of you are here because you are very confused about who I am and why I am here. So i’m going to put those suspicions to rest. It was a normal day back at my homeworld. However, I made the terrible decision to get to close to a portal anomaly and was sucked in, leaving my friends and family behind. Now I’m stuck here in Equestria. At first, I was looking for a possible way to get back home, but it seems that isn't remotely possible. Now I’m probably going to have to start a new life here in Equestria and I ask all of your ponies for your friendship and to please treat me like you would treat other ponies. Think of it, if I was a normal pony with the friendly personality I have, you would all like me. But if i’m a human, it's a different story. What i’m trying to say is that you ponies feared me because you didn’t know what my intentions were, not just because of my appearance. As Twilight said before, I am a kind individual who is just looking for friends for my new life here. So now I will coexist with you ponies. Also, I heard Mayor Mare mention a tyrannical lord and spirit of chaos. Even though I don’t know who these foes are, I can make out that they caused great distraught in Equestria and Ponyville. I pay respect to any ponies who lost stuff in those dark times. So all in all, I am here to stay and I wish to get know you ponies better. Thank you for your time.” I said with great meaning.

After I finished the speech, the crowd stared at me. Slowly, one pony began to clop their hooves in a form a clapping. Then another started clopping their hooves. Then the whole crowd started to cheer and clop their hooves in unison, creating the sound of cheering you’d hear after the end of a good play. I felt a smile come onto my face in joy to finally see the ponies accept me.

“Now i’ll take a few questions before I get off the stage.” I said.

Many hooves quickly raised in the air and I chose a stallion in the middle of the crowd.

“Yes, you, with the light brown coat and brown mane.” I said.

“This is pretty trivial, but what was your home like?” the stallion asked.

“The answer is very interesting because my home was basically a copy of this world. What I mean by that is because my home had the same natural resources. This would include grass, dirt, clouds, a blue sky, trees, and the list goes on. So almost everything in this world is in mine.” I answered.

The crowd then chattered at each other amazement. A mare with a blue coat and a mane with dark blue and white streaks asked:

“No offense intended, but why do you have monkey like characteristics?” she asked.

“Ah, I get that same question a lot. Well it’s because I am directly related to apes. A chimp for example is like an ancient cousin to me in evolutionary terms. So therefore, I have similar characteristics.” I said.

Next, a pegasus mare with a gray coat and blonde man flew in the air and raised her foreleg. What I noticed about her was the fact that one of her eyes would look upwards while the other looked down.

“You in the air.” I said.

“Hi there, Caleb. Do you like muffins?” the pegasus asked.

I was unsure of how to answer at first, but I came up with an answer.

“W-well yes, muffins are pretty good. Especially chocolate chip muffins. Very good.” I replied.

After answering that question, I saw Applejack in the crowd and remembered something. I promised Applebloom that i’d meet her friends.

“Well everypony, I think that’s all I have time for today. Thank you for attending. It shows me how friendly you ponies are. Sorry for leaving so unexpectedly, but I made a promise to a certain somepony.” I concluded.

I then walked off the stage and heard the crowd clop their hooves and cheer again.

“Wow Caleb, you did great out there.” Twilight complemented.

“Thank you. It just came naturally to me for some reason.” I said.

"You have quite a gift for speaking, Caleb.” Mayor Mare said.

“Maybe it's my thing.” I said “Look, I made a promise to a certain pony and I nearly forgot it. I have to get going.” I said.

“No problem, Caleb, go on ahead.” Twilight said.

I quickly emerged from behind the curtain and everypony waved at me as I ran past them. I waved back at them in response and continued to Sweet Apple Acres.

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