• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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C.A.M.A: Day Ninety

C.A.M.A: Day Ninety
March 6th, 2013

This past week has been quite a big preperation for me. The more I think about it.... the Equinieus is actually a pretty fascinating creature even though it is admittedly disturbing and terrifying at the same time. You would only see something like that in a scary movie, but for me, it's going to more than a movie, it's going to be borderline reality. So, I am still a little nervous about today even though Night Hunter keeps reminding me that this is only a dream test and not the real deal. What I plan to do is find this thing in the dream and burn it, because something like that needs to be taken out with fire.

Right now it's noon and i'm sitting on my bed with Night Hunter, waiting for Princess Luna's arrival in order to properly give me the dream. Her and Night Hunter will be watching me through through this screen that Luna will create with her magical powers or something. I have no idea how that's possible, but you know.... alicorn magic. That's how Night Hunter will know if i'm utilizing everything I know, he won't be disappointed. As we sat in silence, we heard Luna's voice from outside.

"Hah-hah! Not this time, wall!" Luna said from outside.

"Sounds like she didn't hit the wall this time." Night Hunter remarked.

"I was wondering if she would hit the wall or not this time." I added.

Princess Luna then appeared right in front of us in an instant, her wings spanning outwards. As her wings retracted back to her sides, she looked down at me with a smile.

"So, Caleb.... art thou ready to face the Equinieus?" Luna asked.

"I have to admit i'm a little nervous, but i'll do it if it means to pass C.A.M.A.," I replied, "You wouldn't of happen to know who thought up of the Equinieus?" I asked.

"Maybe...." Luna responded in a mischievous manner.

"It was you, wasn't it?" I guessed

"Who else would've? I am the princess of the night and darkness." Luna confirmed.

"I should've know," I said, "Wishes to remain anonymous, eh, Night Hunter?" I asked Night Hunter.

"I just didn't want you to think less of her. You seemed pretty freaked when I first showed you that drawing." Night Hunter replied.

"It could've been a lot worse." Luna said.

"How worse?" I asked.

"My previous creation was--" Luna started before I stopped her.

"Nope. I don't really want to know now." I said, raising my hand up.

"Well, in that case, would thee liketh to have a minute or would thee liketh to start right away?" Luna asked.

"Ah.... just give me a minute." I chose.

I then walked out of the room, into the hallway and closed the door. I paced back and forth in the hallway with my arms crossed, thinking about what I would do if the Equinieus got smart on me. It would be pretty freaky if this thing watches its target in the shadows, but I would probably know since this thing is about a foot and a half tall. Plus the sound of it scurrying around would be very audible. After taking in a deep breath, I opened the door.

"Okay, i'm ready." I announced.

"Lay down on thy bed." Luna instructed.

I did as told and Night Hunter came to my side.

"Remember, Caleb, you have three chances to prove yourself. If you mess up, you should learn from your first mistake and succeed on the next try." Night Hunter explained.

"I'll remember." I said.

"Princess Luna." Night Hunter signalled Luna.

Luna then walked over to my side and simply said: "Ready?" and I replied with a nod.

"Now.... close thy eyes." Luna instructed as she moved her right hoof down my face.

My eyes were closed now and there was nothing but darkness. Shortly after, I heard Luna's horn activate with a sparkling sound from the magic energy. I closed my eyes tighter, bracing for the transition.

In an instant, I was transported into the dream world. I couldn't see anything in front of me at first until I turned my flashlight on and immediately I took notice that I was standing in front of a cave entrance while my equipment was placed neatly on small individual boulders. I then grabbed my large backpack, gathered my equipment in their specific storage spaces while keeping the Timberferno equipped and the X-Ray Sensor in my pocket. Once I got everything I needed, I slowly began to walk towards the mouth of the cave. A sign plastered on the rock read "Keep Out! Equinieus inside!" I scoffed at the sign, looked up at the moon and said:

"Thanks for the reminder, Luna," I said, turning the valve for the Timberferno and switching on the sensor, "Wish me luck, guys." I said to my spectators, entering the cave.

There was two foot drop off next to the cave entrance, so I casually stepped down slowly until I came into contact with the ground. I began to proceed forward slowly, the sound of the wind becoming dead silent for I could only hear my footsteps impacting the dirt and my heart beating at a slightly faster pace. The atmosphere was very moist, cool, dank and a musky scent filled my nostrils. It reminded me a lot of an old basement. I figured it would be a good time to check my surroundings with the X-ray Sensor. And so, I pressed the sweep button and the light blue wave traced up the cave walls, picking up nothing in the one hundred meter circumference.

As I continued onwards, deeper into the cave, I discovered numerous thick support beams that ran up the cave walls to the ceiling. This led me to believe that I was in a mineshaft, a typical location for a spider habitat. I looked downwards and gasped when I saw an abnormally large normal-looking black spider with a glowing star on top of its abdomen.

"Oh, you're not so bad. At least you're not like your big brother." I said, softly, to the spider.

The spider looked up at me with it's glowing eyes for a moment and quickly crawled in between two loose stones.

"Hm, that was odd." I said to myself.

I proceeded even more further and it began to get real dry and muskier, a contrast to the dampness I experience earlier. As the cave walls became a bit more narrow, I discovered a patch of webbing connected to a stone and the ground. Quickly, I pressed the sweep button and picked up nothing yet. I carefully stepped over the patch of webbing and continued on onwards, but soon found even more amounts all over the place. There was so much webbing all over the walls, ceiling and ground that I had to use the Timberferno to destroy it in order to get a clear path.

"I'm getting close." I thought to myself, proceeding forward.

More and more webbing kept on coming and burning it felt like a chore then it did before. It was absolutely ridiculous. Once I finally broke through this huge wall of webbing, a large open space was revealed. I shined my flashlight into the opening and there was webbing all over the place, everything was covered in webbing. But this webbing was different. It was much more thicker and had a slimy substance coated on it, most likely to trap prey.

"Oh my God." I said, covering my mouth with the Timberferno in my other.

I squeezed the nozzle on the Timberferno to burn the webbing, but the substance protected it from disintegrating. I kept on trying over and over again, but it wouldn't work. Eventually I gave up on trying and thought for a second. As I thought, I heard this disgusting gurgling sound coming from the web covered room.

"Who's that?" I asked, shining the light into the room.

Right when I shined the light in the room, I saw a small dark shadow dart to left, out of my sight. When that happened, I heard these multiple, little tiny footsteps scurry on the ground in the room. It was the Equinieus.

"The pitter-patter! The pitter-patter!" I screamed to myself, mentally.

I reacted by pulling out the X-Ray Sensor to track it. I hastefully pressed the button and the wave scanned everything, but I didn't see anything. I checked behind me and there was nothing there as well.

"Damn! Where did it go?" I asked, rhetorically.

As I turned around to face the room, a small black ball began to dangle from the other side of the cave-doorway. I don't know why, but I froze up. The ball than sprouted eight long legs and the face appeared, those cataracted eyes peering into my soul. The Equinieus opened it's mouth and copious amounts of saliva dripped from it's mouth, filled with two rows of razor sharp teeth. Once our eyes were locked, it let out an unnerving screech into my face. I tensed up my neck muscles in fear and response to the screech.

"Holy fucking shit!" I hissed through my teeth as I brought the Timerbferno back and smacked it right into the Equinieus' nightmare fuelish face.

This caused the Equinieus to detach from its web strand and went flying back into the room, tumbling on the ground.

"Reeeeeeee!" it screamed as it scurried away from me.

"Where the fuck are you going?" I asked it, but no response.

I pressed the sweep button for the X-Ray Sensor and the Equinieus was scaling up on the far left wall of the room to the tall ceiling. It stopped climbing once it positioned itself on the ceiling, hanging upside down where someone could walk in by the cave-doorway I was standing by. This thing is no dummy and I can see what it was planning. If I were to walk in that room, it would mostly likely jump off the ceiling and onto me.

"Well, what am I going to do now? If I step on that web, i'm stuck and screwed. And it's not like this goop is going to dry soon." I said to myself.

As I sat on a stone and thought, while making sure the Equinieus stayed in its position, an idea came to mind. The Equinieus is attracted to vibrations, right? To test this, I got up and stomped my foot on the ground as hard as I could. The Equinieus' outline slightly moved and I could hear a faint "Ssssss" from the room next to me, so it obviously reacted to it. And also, normal spiders know if they have a meal or not if they feel vibrations on their webs. You see, the more I looked at the huge amounts of webbing in that room, the more I figured that it was basically a trap for prey. It all made sense now.

"Alright, I got this!" I exclaimed.

I inspected the ground and found a decent sized stone that I could throw onto the thick amount of webbing. With the stone in my left hand and the Timberferno in my right, primed and ready for blazin, I warned the Equinieus I was coming in. Yes, I know it doesn't understand English.

"Hey, you big horse's ass, i'm coming in now! You better come and stop me!" I yelled into the room.

I then chucked the stone for at least four meters so that the Timberferno could reach its target. Faster than I could say oh shit, the Equinieus leaped down at the speed of a lightning bolt and attacked the stone. The Equinieus nasally growled as it tried to bite into the rock, but couldn't.

"Hey, spidey!" I exclaimed, getting its attention, "You're fired!" I quipped as I jerked the nozzle tightly with my right hand.

The red, glowing, fiery magic spewed out towards the Equinieus and came into contact with it. It let out warbled screeches as I showed no mercy, not letting off the nozzle for a good ten seconds before the Timbeferno stopped from overheating, the metal tip glowing red hot. I could see the silhouette of the Equinieus going in circles and flailing its legs as it burned in the hot, magical energy. The entire room was nearly filled with a red glow from the flames and some of the webbing began to disintegrate. I stared at the sight while slightly baring my teeth and turning the valve for the Timberferno to the left. Finally, after a minute, the Equinieus became silent and motionless.

"I did it. I won!" I said to myself.

Shortly after I said that statement, a white light illuminated into my face and I was brought back to reality. I laid in my bed while Night Hunter and Luna stared silently at me until Night Hunter broke the silence.

"Congratulations, Caleb! You did it! I knew you could do it!" Night Hunter congratulated, happily.

I only responded by hopping out of bed and gave Night Hunter a hug.

"Great job, Caleb! Great job!" Night Hunter praised.

"Shit, man, did you see how much of a beast I was!?" I asked Night Hunter.

"Oh, tartarus yeah! That whole one-liner you pulled off there at the end.. perfection!" Night Hunter added.

Luna then walked over to congratulate me as well.

"Congratulations, Caleb. How doest it feel to have passed thy final exam?" Luna asked.

"I feel very great about it! I-I-I just can't believe I did it. Seriously, when I first got here, I had no idea what I was doing, but look at me now; a future C.A.M.A agent." I replied.

"Very impressive work, Caleb." Luna said.

"Thank you, Luna." I replied, gratefully.

"So, Luna. Tell him what happens now." Night Hunter sniffled.

"Are you crying?" I asked.

"What? No, of course not." he replied while regaining his composure.

"Tomorrow thee will be receiving your official C.A.M.A Everfree uniform and a camouflage outfit as a bonus. And Friday will be thy graduation. I and my dear sister will be there as well." Luna informed.

"Sounds great, Luna." I said.

"Glad to hear, Caleb. Now I must go and inform my sister of thy most wondrous achievement." Luna said.

"Yeah, yeah, sure, go ahead." I said.

With that, Luna teleported out of the room, leaving me and Night Hunter to ourselves.

"Wow...." I said, in a daze.

"I'm proud of you, Caleb. You were very good in that cave, all by yourself." Night Hunter said.

"Yeah. It was touch and go there at first," I admitted, slightly laughing in my words, "How long was I out?" I asked.

"Ohhhhh, about an hour. That cave is pretty long, ain't it?" Night Hunter asked.

"It felt pretty long. I was wondering how long it would take me to find the Equinieus." I said.

"And that Equinieus...." Night Hunter said, with a whistle at the end, "I don't think I could take that thing on myself. You're very brave." Night Hunter complimented.

"Thanks." I said.

"So...." Night Hunter said, clopping both of his front-hooves hooves together.

"So?" I asked.

"The rest of the day is yours. Do whatever you'd like." Night Hunter offered.

"How about a game of pool and ping-pong?" I suggested.

Night Hunter smiled to my suggestion.

"Great idea, Caleb. Great idea." Night Hunter agreed.

And so, me and Night Hunter headed off to the recreation room to play our games. As we played our game of pool, I wondered how I would send Night Hunter a weekly report on my territory.

"Night Hunter, when I send that weekly report to you, do I send it to the Ponyville post office or would I have to drive all the way up to the Canterlot post office?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure sending it to the Ponyville post office would be okay. From what I know, they shouldn't be tampering with the mail because it's against their guidelines and an offense." Night Hunter replied.

"Okay. I was just making sure since you want C.A.M.A to remain a secret from the public. Even though I told only one pony." I clarified.

"If I ever find out if you tell somepony else later on in your career, you'll be in big trouble." Night Hunter warned.

"I got it, Night Hunter." I said.

"Good." he replied.

Not much really went on after our games. Me and Night Hunter took it real easy for the rest of the day. Later on that night while I was in bed, I leaned over to grab the photo of the me, Twilight, Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. I stared at the photo for a moment and felt a grin begin to form on my face.

"I'm coming home, guys.... i'm coming home." I said.

I then put the photograph aside and went off to bed.

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