• Published 2nd Mar 2017
  • 3,373 Views, 145 Comments

Land of Equines - Daddy Joe

Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
"Ditzy" Pegasus

“Ditzy” Pegasus
December 4th, 2012

Today I slept in to noon for a change, so I kinda played hooky with Twilight's usual schedule. Anyways, Spike and Twilight must’ve went out because they were nowhere to found in the library when I woke up. So I decided to get dressed and check on Rarity’s progress. After taking a short drive, I arrived at Rarity's and knocked on the door. It took a while, but the door finally opened. Rarity's mane was all frazzled and her eyes had dark circles, almost as if she was up all night.

"Rarity? You feeling alright?" I asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked again.

"Oh, i'm doing splendid, darling." Rarity replied, wearily.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Absolutely." Rarity replied.

"Okay then. I came over here to check on the suit." I reminded.

"Oh yes, come on in, I got it done late this morning." Rarity said.

"Good! Thanks, Rarity." I thanked.

"Anytime, darling." Rarity said softly as her eye slowly closed.

"Rarity!" I exclaimed.

"Wha-?" Rarity said, dazedly. "Oh, sorry. I just need a little bit more sleep." Rarity said.

"Is that it over there." I asked, pointing at the large suit on the table.

"Mmm-hmm." Rarity replied.

"Excellent." I said.

I picked up the suit and examined it. The suit looked exactly like one of those tuxes that Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones wore in Men In Black.

"Wow, Rarity. You made this overnight?" I asked, surprised.

"Maybe what I said before was an understatement. I actually finished it about seven hours ago." Rarity said.

"Jesus, Rarity, you should get some sleep. It's not good to stay up that long even if you were fueled with determination." I said.

"You're probably right." Rarity said.

"Look, you go take a little nap and i'll try this on quick." I said.

"You sure? Need any help with anything?" Rarity asked.

"Nah, I got this." I said.

"Okay." Rarity said as she took off her red eyeglasses.

"Thanks again, Rarity." I thanked her, gracefully.

"You're welcome." she replied as she headed into a room and shutted the door.

When I tried the suit on, it felt just a teensy bit tight, but I got used to it. As I checked myself out in the mirror, I turned around and quickly turned around.

"Who you lookin' at?" I asked myself, just like one of those cheesy one-liners.

After that little cringey moment, I removed the suit, folded it, put my winter coat back on and headed back to the Defender.

I took a scenic route through Ponyville this time instead of taking the quickest way back. Most of the buildings were decorated for the season. This would include christmas lights, wreaths, colorful ribbons, small christmas tree’s and more. Not many ponies were outside, most likely because it’s winter and all, but I did come across a grey pegasus with a blonde mane.

I was approaching Sugar Cube Corner, and all of a sudden this pegasus walks out of the building, right in front of me, and i’m probably like forty something feet away from her. I slammed my foot on the brake which only made the Land Rover skid slowly in her direction. I began to pump the brake until I came to a halt just in time. I then applied the parking brake and went to check if the pegasus was okay.

“You alright?” I asked in concern.

She looked up at me and I took notice of her eyes. Her right eyes was pointing upwards while the other was downwards.

“I’m so sorry! I knew I shouldn’t have crossed.” she said with her head down.

“What made you think it was good idea to cross?” I asked.

“It’s my eyes. You looked much farther away than you really were.” the mare said while pointing at her eyes.

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” I asked.

“I’ve been like this ever since i’ve been born. It’s called Strabius.” she answered.

“Oh, i’m sorry to hear about that, I really am.” I said while sitting down in the snow next to her.

“Thank you. Others judge me before they even know me.” she said.

“No problem. My name’s Caleb by the way.” I introduced.

“I’m Derpy Hooves.” Derpy replied.

“Cool name, I like it.” I admitted.

Her name was a little silly, but I thought it was alright.

“So, umm, were you picking up some fresh baked goods?” I asked Derpy.

“Sure am. Sugarcube Corner has the best muffins!” Derpy exclaimed.

“Sounds good.” I said.

“Would you like one?” Derpy asked while taking off a cloth that covered a basket filled with freshly made muffins.

“Sure. I haven't had a muffin in a while.” I said.

“Okay, I have blueberry, strawberry, banana with nuts, and chocolate chip.” Derpy listed.

“Oooh, give me the chocolate chip, those are delicious.” I requested.

“Here ya go.” Derpy said, handing me the warm muffin.

Derpy handed me the muffin that was abundant with chocolate chips and I took a bite into the top. I’m pretty sure I “Mmm’d” a bit louder than I should’ve.

“Pretty good, don’t ya think?” Derpy asked.

“Mmm-hmm.” I hummed. “Thanks Derpy.” I said.

“Your welcome.” Derpy said.

“Do you need ride to your home?” I asked.

Derpy looked over at the Defender and examined it.

“Depends. Can your carriage thing fly?” Derpy asked.

“Nope, it’s a land vehicle. And what do you mean by fly? Do you live up in the sky or something?” I asked.

“Yes I do, just like every other pegasus.” Derpy said while fluttering her wings.

“Oh, I see." I said. "How does living up there work? Is it like finding a cloud and just plopping yourself on it and call it home?” I asked.

“Not at all. All pegasi live in Cloudsdale which is a city made up entirely out of clouds.” Derpy said.

“A city made up of clouds, huh? That’s pretty awesome!" I said. "How can you even walk on clouds? It’s impossible.” I stated.

“Walking on clouds is just a perk of being a pegasus.” Derpy clarified.

“So only pegasus can walk on clouds then?” I asked.

“That’s right. Unless you have some sort of spell that will give the ability to walk on clouds.” Derpy added.

“I see. Well, I hate to be so sudden, but I have to get going. Gotta try on this new suit.” I said.

“Oh, no problem. Special occasion?” Derpy questioned.

“Does meeting the two princesses of Equestria count as a special occasion?” I asked in a jokingly manner.

“Meeting with the princesses!? That’s beyond special occasion, that’s more like a once in a lifetime opportunity.” Derpy said with a tiny rasp in her voice.

“You got that right.” I said.

“Well, I better get going too. Nice to meet you…. What’s your name again?” she asked.

“Caleb, the name’s Caleb.” I answered.

“Right, nice to meet you Caleb.” Derpy farewelled.

“You too, Derpy, I’ll see you around.” I said with a wave as she flew off into the sky.

As she flew away, I thought to myself that Derpy seemed like a very intelligent individual and that I didn’t see why see was considered ditzy. All her problem is that she has a little visual impairment, nothing else. But anyways, I got back into the Defender and continued back to Twilight’s.

When I got back to Twilight’s, I tried on the tux and ask both her and Spike to give their honest opinion. Like I said before, the tux felt just a teensy bit tight, but it was bearable. Twilight’s thought I looked great in it because I also combed my hair sideways. Spike gave the nickname “Mr. Big Shot” and also teased me by saying “All the mare’s will be chasing after me.”

“HA!” I shouted.

“Spike’s just messing with you.” Twilight said, giving me a little nudge on the leg and a small wink.

“I know. He’s a funny little dragon.” I said.

“Yep, that’s me.” he said.

“Twilight, can I ask you something?” I asked.

“Of course, what’s on your mind?” she asked as well.

“Is there like some specific way of greeting the princesses? Should I refer to them as highness, or something like that?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about that. What I would do is just kneel down when you first meet them and you can refer them as Princess Celestia and Luna.” she said.

“Okay then." I said. "Sounds easy as can be.” I mumbled.

“You got this, Caleb.” Spike said supportively.

“Thanks guys.” I said.

“So what’cha gonna do now?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know, might just lounge around all day since it’s winter.” I admitted.

“Sounds like my kind of day.” Spike agreed.

“Yeah, Spike. You and me think the same.” I said.

And so, I just lounged around like a bump on a log all day pretty much. Nothing else interesting to report.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!