• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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Out of Their Elements

Out of Their Elements
March 17th, 2013

I slowly walked up the stairs and to the door where Spike was hiding behind.

"Hey Spike, you still in there?" I asked with knock on the door.

"What's going on out there? I heard you yelling downstairs." Spike replied.

"Nothing now, but please... don't laugh when I open this door." I said.

"Why should I laugh?" Spike asked.

"You'll see." I said.

I then grabbed the doorknob and began to turn it. Once the door was open all the way, Spike got a look at the new me. His expression was rather freaked out then what I was expecting from him.

"What happened to you?! You're all hairy and your face, what happened to your face!?" Spike exclaimed.

"Discord happened." I sighed.

"What's a discord?" Spike asked.

"Not a what, a who. Discord is the spirit of chaos." I answered.

"The spirit of chaos? Oh... that's not good." Spike said.

"Yeah, no shit with you on that. You should've seen him, he has multiple body parts of various animals, tall, and a voice that sounds pretty nasally." I said.

"If that's who Discord is, then who was that mare supposed to be?" Spike asked.

"Ah, his daughter named Screwball, but I don't know how she's Discord's daughter since she's a pony. Unless Discord is into some freaky stuff," I said, "but yeah, he did this to me before he left." I said as Spike examined me again.

"What should we do now?" Spike asked.

"Look, I think the best we can do now is to stay indoors until Twilight and the others return." I said, reminding me of what Discord told me earlier.

"That sounds like a good idea. You watch, Twilight and them will find a way to stop him." Spike assured.

"Now that you say that again, what makes you think so?" I asked.

"Well, they did find out a way to defeat Nightmare Moon, so they have to figure out a way to defeat Discord." Twilight replied.

"Hopefully. I got my fingers crossed." I said, looking down at my slightly wrinkled hands.

"Let's also hope Twilight finds out a way to bring back the old you." Spike added.

"Oh definitely." I said.

Me and Spike then headed back downstairs. On the way down, we noticed the sunlight that illuminated the interior began to dim before everything went pitch black, almost as if it was late at night.

"The heck?" I said as it got darker in the room.

"Does this mean that Discord is here?" Spike asked, nervously, as he bumped up against my left leg.

"Not in here, but he did say that he'd make Ponyville the chaos capital of the world." I realized.

Me and Spike then looked at each other in the eyes. Within seconds, me and him bolted to the nearest window to see what was going on outside. What we saw was mind boggling. Not only because night suddenly arrived during the afternoon, but Discord had already begun what he said he'd do. Our mouths dropped as buildings floated hundreds of feet in the air and rotated in three-sixty motions, the grass was now replaced with blue and purple tiles, the once flat terrain was now raised upwards, creating steep hills, and to top it off, a chocolate rain downpour poured down.

"Discord wasn't lying." Spike said.

"Yep. Just another reason not to go outside." I said.

I stood and thought for a moment of what to do next.

"Y'know, maybe we could stop Discord." I said.

"How in the world are we going to defeat a spirit of chaos?" Spike asked.

"I have this history book that tells the whole story of Discord's past. I know there was a way that Discord could be defeated, but I need to check again." I said.

"You go get that and i'll sweep up all of this hair." Spike yawned, pointing at the small pile of my shedding brown hair.

"Sorry about that." I said.

I then headed back upstairs into the spare room to find the history book. However, it wasn't on the bed where I left it. I know it was there because I placed it to my left side when I dozed off earlier.

"Oh, no, no, no." I said under my breath.

I began to desperately search the entire area of the bed and underneath, but it was nowhere to be found. I searched for about five or eight minutes before I gave up and sat on the bed.

"C'mon, Caleb, think! Think!" I said to myself, trying to remember how Discord could be defeated.

I never thought as deep as I could before. If I could find out, then me and Spike may have chance to strike back at Discord. As I pressed my fingers against the temple of my head, I finally remembered that Discord was defeated with the elements of harmony, but there was a catch. The elements are all the way up in Canterlot and Discord said that that Twilight and the other five were out of their elements.

"Crap." I simply said.

But I thought I might as well inform Spike on what was used to defeat Discord anyways. Another note, the sun had risen again within the timespan. Thought i'd mention one of the norms in the "chaos capital of the world." I headed back downstairs once again, and found that Spike had swept up my brown hairs, but was fast asleep next to a bucket of water while sleeping with a mop. Yep, somehow he fell asleep again.

"Jesus H. Christ." I mumbled as I looked at the slumbering dragon.

I walked over towards him to wake him up, but I was stopped when I heard Twilight talking from outside. I looked out the window and could see Twilight, but not the others because of the angle of the window. Twilight herself looked normal, but once I angled myself to another position, I saw the others. Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie still had their original colors, but were covered with a coat of grey, indicating that their elements were now gone. Judging by their expressions, i'm supposed that their personalities have also changed as well. If Applejack is honesty, then she's probably now a liar. If Rarity's is generosity, then she's greed. If Pinkie Pie is laughter, then she's grumpiness. And Fluttershy being kindness, she's probably going to be rude. And also, Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen, so she probably just left them, being disloyal.

Applejack then trotted up inside the library, whose colors were now completely grey. I took in a deep breath and spoke to her.

"Hey Applejack." I said, sheepishly.

"Who're you supposed to be? I ain't ever met you before in my life." Applejack replied.

I guess that response makes some sense since i'm a sasquatch at the moment.

"It's me, Caleb. Caleb the human." I clarified.

"Never heard of that name before." Applejack obviously lied.

"Yes you have." I said.

"Nuh-uh." Applejack replied.

"Yuh-huh." I said back.

"Nope." Applejack lied.

"Yep." I replied.

Fluttershy then flew into the room with a nasty expression on her face.

"Don't bother with him, Applejack. The primitives don't understand basic communication well." Fluttershy insulted.

Never in my life in Equestria would I ever think of hearing Fluttershy talking like that in that kind of tone and way.

"Whatever you say, Fluttershy. You're just out of your element." I said.

"Why don't you just shut your mouth, or better yet, stuff it with a banana while you're at it, you ape." Fluttershy retorted.

"Damn.... got me good there." I thought to myself.

Next up to walk in the library was Pinkie Pie. Now she looked really pissed off. She looked at me and looked at everypony else in the room.

"I hate you! I hate all of you!" Pinkie shouted to everypony.

"Mmmm, this is going to be an interesting experience." I said, softly.

After I said that, I saw Fluttershy go the bucket of water next to Spike in my peripheral vision. Before I could warn or wake Spike, she dumped the cold water onto Spike, who was still sleeping. He woke with a loud gasp and a yelp before he shook the water off him like a dog.

"What did you do that for?" Spike asked Fluttershy.

"Because you looked so peaceful!" Fluttershy replied in that irritating voice.

"Leave him alone." I ordered to Fluttershy.

"Make me." she replied.

Right after Fluttershy said that, I loud crash erupted from behind me. An entire boulder somehow crashed right through the wall where the door used to be, creating a large, gaping hole in the wall.

"Careful, Twilight! You'll ruin his beautiful finish." Rarity said, caressing the boulder as if it were the most radiant thing in the world.

"Oh, for the love of..." Twilight began before she caught sight of me.

"H-hey, Twilight." I said with a wave.

"Oh no, Caleb. Did Discord do this to you?" Twilight asked.

"Sure did. He seems like a colorful individual." I said.

"Are you alright?" Twilight asked, concernedly.

"I don't mean to be snappy, but... i'm a sasquatch for crying out loud!" I exclaimed.

"Watch out, everypony. He's getting angry." Fluttershy warned, sarcastically.

I then shut my mouth so that I couldn't get anything else for Fluttershy to work with.

"Well, I can see that, Caleb, but he didn't hurt you or anything?" Twilight asked.

"No, just turned me into bigfoot." I replied.

Spike then ran over to Twilight.

"Twilight, what's going on? Why does everypony look so.. grey?" Spike asked, directing his claws towards the four mares.

"Don't ask," Twilight replied. "I need you and Caleb to help me find something." Twilight said as she began to walk into the library with Spike on her back.

I noticed Fluttershy going for the bucket again that still had some water in it.

"Hey, Twilight. What's soaking wet and clueless?" Fluttershy asked in her sassy tone.

"Fluttershy, i've just about had enough--." Twilight began before she was stopped from the water being dumped on her head, causing her now wet mane to drape on her face.

"Your face!" Fluttershy said as she brought the bucket upwards, over Twilight's head.

"Twilight!" I exclaimed as I ran over towards Twilight to stop Fluttershy's corrupted actions.

Right when the bucket was about impact her head, I snatched the bucket out of Fluttershy's hoof grip.

"Gimmie that!" I snapped at Fluttershy.

I then tossed the bucket out the hole in the wall.

"What's happened to everypony?" Spike asked again.

"Beats me. I guess you bring out the worst in you, Spike." Applejack replied.

"Discord corrupted them, Spike. Pretty much reversed their natural elements that they're supposed to represent." I answered for Twilight.

"Oh, I see now." Spike understood.

"Thanks, Caleb," Twilight thanked. "Now we've got to find the reference guide to the elements of harmony before somepony does something she'll regret!" Twilight said, angrily, staring at the four corrupted mares who were resting on the boulder.

"The elements of harmony?" Spike asked, confused. "Oh! I know exactly where that book is!" Spike exclaimed.

Spike then climbed up a wooden ladder and retrieved a dark brown book from the top shelf.

"Found it!" he announced to everypony.

Fluttershy zoomed over towards Spike and threw a scroll at his face, causing Spike to drop the elements of harmony refrence book into Fluttershy's hooves. Twilight walked over towards Fluttershy with a scowl on her face.

"Fluttershy! You better give me that book!" Twilight growled.

"Keep away!" Fluttershy shouted.

Fluttershy tossed the book over my head and amazingly landed on the tip of Applejack's nose.

"Applejack, give me that book!" Twilight demanded.

"I don't have any book." Applejack lied, tossing the book to Pinkie.

Pinkie bounced the book back towards Fluttershy and Fluttershy tossed it back to Applejack, repeating the pattern again. Once I learned the three's tossing pattern, I readied myself to intercept knock Fluttershy out of the way. Twilight ran back and forth to the pony had back, becoming increasingly more frustrated by the second.

When Pinkie was about to toss the book to Fluttershy, I jumped at Fluttershy, but Spike had the same idea I had.

"Nice tackle, Spike." I complimented as me and Twilight ran after the book that slid across the floor.

Before Twilight could take the book, Rarity ran in between my legs and stole it with her levitation.

"Mine!" Rarity exclaimed as she stole the book.

"Hey! Do you even know what you just stole?" Twilight asked Rarity.

"No, but if you want it, I want it." Rarity replied.

Twilight then tripped and landed smack on her face, letting a muffled scream in frustration.


"Give me that book!" Twilight yelled.

I then began to chase Rarity as well, but I came at her from her right side, closing in on her. Before Rarity could react, I used my large hand to grab Rarity by the abdominal area, easily lifting her off the ground with one hand. I tried to use my left hand to grab the levitating book, but Rarity had already threw it towards Fluttershy. Twilight was busy looking at me and Rarity to even notice the bulking boulder in front of her, and she ran right into it head on. I winced at the impact and dropped Rarity to see if she was okay.

"Are you alright?" I asked Twilight.

"I'm fine. But where is she? Where's Fluttershy?" Twilight asked Applejack and Pinkie Pie.

"Beats me." Applejack lied, crossing her right foreleg with her left.

"Lies!" Twilight shouted as she jumped onto Pinkie and Applejack and began to fight.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed.

As they fought, a huge amount of dust began to kick up into the air, kinda like a fight you would see in a cartoon. I circled the cloud of dust to see if I could find Twilight, but couldn't. All I really heard was hooves impacting and grunting from all the tussling. A few seconds later, Twilight emerged out of the dust cloud and landed on the ground with the book wrapped with her forelegs. I then quickly rushed over to Twilight to guard her while Spike did the same with a scroll as a weapon. I thought that was funny.

"Get back! All of you! This is my book, and i'm gonna read it!" Twilight yelled to the mares who slowly crawled to us.

"Git!" I exclaimed, stomping my big foot loudly on the floor, causing the four mares to slightly back off and retreat to the boulder.

"Looks like you got this covered." Spike noticed.

"Go help Twilight," I instructed to Spike. "I'll keep guard."

Twilight then let out a loud gasp, as if she had just made a groundbreaking discovery.

"What is it?" I asked.

"The elements. They were here all along" Twilight said, happily.

"This is great! Now you guys can defeat Discord and put everything back to normal." Spike said.

"W-wait, the elements of harmony?" I asked, turning my head.

"See? They're right here." Spike said.

"But those were all the way up in Canterlot. Why are they in the element reference book?" I asked.

"I know you have a lot of questions, Caleb, but i'll explain it all later. We've got a spirit of chaos to defeat." Twilight said.

"Right, sorry." I said.

"You see, girls? We did it! We found the elements of harmony. Together!" Twilight announced to the four mares who didn't give two shits about the elements. "You don't even care, do you?" Twilight asked the mares.

"No." the four replied simultaneously.

Twilight let out a small sigh in response.

"I never thought it would happen.. my friends... have turned into complete jerks!" Twilight said softly at first, but with a raised tone at the end of her statement.

Twilight then opened the book open again and levitated every single necklace elements out of it. Twilight repeated the word, necklace, when she placed each element on the designated mare.

"And... big crown thingy." Twilight said as she placed the crown element on her head.

"So, what now?" I asked.

"Now we go and defeat Discord." Twilight said as she trotted to the exit

"But, Twilight, aren't you missing somepony?" Spike referred to Rainbow Dash.

"Nope. We got the liar, the grump, the hoarder, and the brute. That just about covers it." Twilight listed.

"Well, what about Rainbow Dash?" Spike asked.

Twilight thought for a second before coming up with a improvision.

"Congratulations, Spike, you're the new Rainbow Dash. Now let's go!" Twilight said quickly, placing the necklace around Spike's neck.

"Me?! B-b-but what if she finds out i'm impersonating her? Ugh, that won't end well." Spike said with a blank stare.

"Too bad. You're Rainbow Dash. Now let's go defeat Discord so that we don't have to talk to each other again." Twilight said, causing the four mares to light with excitement and dashed after Twilight.

"Don't worry, Spike. She probably won't even care." I assured Spike.

"I sure hope you're right about that." Spike said, nervously.

I turned my head to the sound of the huge boulder grinding on the floor because Rarity was using her effort to push it.

"Does that boulder really mean the world to you?" I asked the corrupted Rarity.

"His name is Tom, and he is not a boulder! He's the most elegant diamond i've ever seen, and he's mine, not yours!" Rarity snapped.

"Okay, okay, geez." I said as I raised both of my hands.

Twilight noticed my response and came up behind Rarity.

"Move!" Twilight ordered Rarity as she levitated the bolder."Look out! Here comes, Tom!" Twilight warned everypony outside.

Twilight then used all her magical strength to throw the boulder out the highest window, causing it to crash through window and loud outside with crackening thud.

"We're gonna have to fix this when this is all over, right?" I asked Twilight.

"Right now, I don't care. I just want to get this done and over with." Twilight replied with frustration.

Out of the left corner of my eye, I saw a familiar tall figure pop right into existence outside the library. Discord had returned.

"Well, well, well I see you found the elements of harmony. How terrifying." Discord said.

I at the moment was slightly cowering behind a wall because I was afraid of what Discord would do to me, even though I hate his guts. But Twilight, Spike and Rarity exited outside, leaving me inside.

"Discord! I figured out your lame riddle. You're in for it now!" Twilight threatened.

"I certainly am. You've clearly outdueled me, and now it's time to meet my fate," Discord said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. "I'm prepared to be defeated now, ladies. Fire when ready." Discord said as he created a red target on his abdominal area.

"Formation! Now!" Twilight ordered.

"Uhh." all four of the corrupted mares uttered, but still went into formation.

"Rainbow Dash! Get over here!" Twilight shouted to Spike.

Spike then revealed his hiding place and dashed to his spot in the formation.

"All right, let's get this over with." Twilight said.

I then peeked my head through the hole in the wall to see what was going on outside. Twilight activated her crown element and an audible, wavy, magical sound began to fill the air. Their manes also began to flow in rhythm with the sound as well. Like something straight out of a fantasy, Twilight and the four mares levitated into thin air and I could see a white glow emanated from Twilight's eyes.

"Oh my god, they're gonna do it." I said to myself with anticipation.

Twilight's crown let out a burst of white energy towards the other elements, causing each of them to light up brightly. So bright that it made me cover my eyes. Now I can see why Discord put on some sunglasses. The noise level from all the magic then became more high pitched and loud, as if something epic was about to happen.

"Do it! Do it!" I said as my head involuntarily nodded.

When it seemed like the elements were about to do their job, the noise level decreased until the glow was gone, causing the mares to drop onto the ground.

"What?! No!" I exclaimed, softly.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked as she rose up.

"Mines working. Must be something wrong with yours." Applejack replied.

"I hate the elements of harmony!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Hmph. Piece of garbage." Fluttershy scoffed, tossing her element onto the ground.

"Mine!" Rarity shrieked as she dove for Fluttershy's element, quickly snatching it.

"Uh, sorry, Twilight. Guess I should get back upstairs and clean up the library," Spike handed back Rainbow's element. "Good luck with all this-- woah!" Spike shouted as he was tripped by Fluttershy.

"Oops. Sorry, Rainbow Crash!" Fluttershy mocked.

"Bravo, ponies. Bravo," Discord said, clapping his paw and talon. "Harmony in Equestria is officially dead. Discord rules, Celestia drools. Ha-haha-haha-haha." Discord laughed as he skated away on water.

I then emerged out the library and stood next to Twilight.

"It's your fault the elements didn't work!" Pinkie said.

"Me?!" I exclaimed.

"What did he do?" Twilight asked Pinkie.

"Not just him, any of you! All of you! I'm out of here!" Pinkie shouted as she bounced away.

"I'd better get going to. I got better friends waiting for me at the farm!" Applejack said.

"Yeah. I'm sick on you, losers." Fluttershy rudely remarked, flying away and leaving me and Twilight to ourselves.

"Fine! Leave! See if I care! I don't need you guys either! With friends like you, who needs.... enemies." Twilight said, her voice beginning to get lower.

Twilight sadly dropped her head downwards with both her eyes closed, crushed by the fact that her best friends have left her.

"Twilight?" I asked, softly.

The colors of Twilights tail began to change into a depressing grey, as well as her coat and mane. Once the transformation was complete, a small tear seeped out of Twilight's left eyelid and dropped onto the ground, forming the shape of a broken heart.

"Twilight?" I asked again.

Twilight remained to keep her eyes closed, but could only utter one response to me.

"I.... I just want to be alone, Caleb. I need some alone time." Twilight said in a depressive tone.

The now corrupted element on magic then walked away from me, off to the chaos capital of the world.

"B-but Twilight...." I stuttered, at a lost of words.

Deep down inside, I felt as if all hope was lost and began to go into a slight depressive state as well. I wasn't turning grey or anything, but a strong wave of sadness swept over me. I did as Twilight wanted, and gave her some alone time. I on the other hand, put my wrinkled sasquatch hands into my pockets and slowly walked back inside the damaged library. Once I got inside, I sat on the couch and placed both my elbows on my knees while resting my chin on the palm of my hands. After I got into that position, I stared at the ground as if I was staring off into space, no expression or thoughts at all.

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