• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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Back to Ponyville Once Again

Back to Ponyville Once Again
March 8th, 2013

The train now sped away from the Canterlot train station and down the mountain that Canterlot protrudes from. Like always, occasional darkness would fill the passenger car once the train entered in and out of the tunnel systems through the mountain in order to reach ground level. I've been sitting in my seat for a while in silence, looking out the window to check out the scenery of the wide open plains, but as I looked through the tiny circular window on the door that connected to the other, I noticed two familiar ponies in the next car.

I squinted my eyes a little to see if my eyes were correct. Sure enough, Lyra and Bon Bon were sitting together in the next passenger car. I rose off my seat and grabbed my backpack and duffle bag and walked towards the door. I slowly pushed the door to open it and entered the the car. A few ponies turned their heads to me entering, including Lyra, who was sitting in a position that looked rather human-like.

"Hey, what's up guys?" I greeted to Lyra and Bon Bon, sitting at a empty seat to their left.

"Caleb?" Lyra gasped in surprise.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"What happened to you?" Lyra asked. "You're like.... really tall now and sort of dissappeared from Ponyville for three months or so." Lyra noticed.

"Ah, my height." I began. "I took this potion that apparently gave me extremely abnormal growth acceleration or something like that." I said.

"Where'd you find that kind of stuff at?" Bon Bon asked.

"Let's just say I met an enchantress who gave it to me." I replied.

"Ooooh, mystery mare," Lyra said. "How tall are you now?" she asked.

"Seven-eight or seven nine I believe." I replied.

"Wow. That's actually really abnormal for a human." Lyra said.

"How do you know the average?" I asked Lyra.

"She's a huge fanatic on your species, remember?" Bon Bon reminded.

"Basically what she said," Lyra corresponded. "Where have you been for the past three months?" Lyra asked with skepticism.

My eyes quickly glanced toward Bon Bon and she was mouthing the words: "Don't tell her about the agency." I on the other hand slightly raised my eyebrows in response to the mouthed words.

"Believe or not, Lyra, I was studying Equestrian history up in Canterlot." I said.

"Three months of studying Equestrian history?" Lyra confusionally asked.

"That's correct." I replied.

"I see why! You're just trying to be like Lyra. She study's humans and you're studying Equestrian's." Bon Bon added to support my cover up.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "What made you think of that?" I asked Bob Bon.

"It sounded rather similar." she replied.

"Glad to see i've had a good influence on you," Lyra said. "Maybe we should study together sometime." she suggested.

"Sure, but another time. I've been studying for about three months and it would be nice to give my brain a break for a while." I said.

"Totally understandable." Lyra agreed.

Bon Bon then nudged Lyra in her right side.

"You mind sitting like a pony and not like a human so I can get out of my seat?" Bon Bon asked Lyra.

"Yes, Bon Bon." Lyra replied, rolling her eyes.

After she exited the seat, she nudged her hoof on my shoulder and tilted her head towards the door. Bon Bon pushed the door open and entered the next passenger car behind the one I was in. I let a minute pass before getting up to follow Bon Bon.

"Where are you going?" Lyra asked as I got to the door.

"I forgot something in the other passenger car. I shouldn't be long." I replied.

"Gotcha" Lyra said.

I opened the door for the next car and Bon Bon was nowhere to be seen. My guess is that she went into the next car. And so, I went into the next car and she wasn't there as well. The only next car would be the caboose, but why would she be all the way back there? Walking into the caboose car, I could see Bon Bon standing next to the outside railing of the car. I opened the door and stood next to her. I gripped the metal railing with my hands and the wind blew into my ears, softly. With that, I asked her why we were out here.

"So... what'cha doing out here for?" I asked.

"C.A.M.A" Bon Bon sighed.

"Well, what about it?" I asked.

"I'm out of it." Bon Bon revealed.

"You mean you got fired?" I asked.

"No, no, not at all." Bon Bon said.

"Then what's the problem?" I asked her.

"Did you ever hear about the tale of the Bugbear?" Bon Bon asked.

"Yeah, the Bugbear. Some sort of bear-bug hybrid or something that was captured by this special C.A.M.A agent." I remembered.

"They didn't tell you who the special agent's identity?" Bon Bon asked.

"Nope." I replied.

"Well, here's some news for you," Bon Bon began, "that special agent was me."

I turned my head towards her with both of my eyebrows raised.

"It was you who defeated the Bugbear?" I asked, surprised.

"I sure did. With the help of Princess Celestia, it was sent to Tartarus for eternity." Bon Bon said.

"Eternity? So much for wishful thinking. I'm pretty sure Night Hunter told me that it managed to escape from Tartarus about a month ago." I said.

"I still don't know how it could've broken out. Princess Celestia told me that Hades said he'd have the Bugbear on full lockdown." Bon Bon said.

"Who's Hades?" I asked.

"The leader and ruler of Tartarus." Bon Bon answered.

My mind went into a thinking phase because i'm pretty sure i've heard the name Hades before. I began to think way deep into my mind while repeating the name Hades over and over again in my head. Suddenly, I remembered something I learned back in the eighth grade. I remembered the whole greek mythology unit we had in reading class and we read all of these books on all the gods, titans, and all of those stories. And like Bon Bon said, Hades is the one god who was sent to and rules Tartarus. It was such a weird feeling for me to find out that greek mythology might actually be real after all.

"No.... there's no way he's real." I said in disbelief.

"Oh, he's real... he's real, Caleb," Bon Bon said. "What makes you think he's not?" she asked.

"Back in my world, there's a subject called greek mythology and Hades plays a big role in many stories. And like you said, he's the leader of Tartarus. However, us humans pass it off as being mythology, not non-fiction." I said.

"So you humans know about him too?" Bon Bon asked.

"Through the stories." I replied.

"What exactly does he look like?" Bon Bon asked.

"You've never seen him?" I said.

"I haven't, but Princess Celestia probably has." Bon Bon said.

"Ehhhh... there's many depictions of him, but I mostly believe in the one where he looks like a human." I replied.

"Hmm. Interesting." Bon Bon said.

"You were saying? About the Bugbear?" I brought back up.

"Yeah, i'm out of C.A.M.A." Bon Bon replied, vaguely.

"What do you mean you're out of C.A.M.A?" I asked.

"I quit, I'm done, and the Ponyville branch has been disbanded." Bon Bon said.

"Oh, crap. Really?" I exclaimed.

"Mm-hm." she hummed.

"Why did you quit?" I questioned.

"I feel like the Bugbear might be holding a grudge against me and most likely will come after me." Bon Bon replied.

"I highly doubt the Bugbear is going to come after you. From what I heard, it's on another continent at the moment," I said. "Speaking of which, how come Celestia doesn't just fly or teleport over there to get it herself?" I asked.

"It's the risk of the unknown. Nopony, including C.A.M.A, really knows what could be living on that other continent. Equestria is a continent that is most known and studied since it's where everypony inhabits." Bon Bon explained.

"Oh, I see now," I said. "But still, I think the Bugbear won't go on some crazy mare hunt for you specifically." I assured.

"Thanks, but I still believe what I think." Bon Bon said.

"Well... if you say so. But if it somehow, and I say somehow find you, i'll be sure to help you out with your predicament." I offered.

"You would really face the Bugbear alongside with me?" Bon Bon asked.

"Of course, Bon Bon. You're my friend and i'm not gonna let some bear hybrid beat you." I said.

"Gee. Thanks, Caleb." Bon Bon thanked.

"No problem." I said.

"Well, we should probably head back inside before Lyra gets too suspicious, because she can get real antsy at times." Bon Bon suggested.

"Good idea. How long have we even been out here?" I asked.

"I dunno, maybe eight or ten minutes." Bon Bon replied.

Me and Bon Bon then headed back into the train car where Lyra waited for us in that human-like sitting position.

"Isn't that a bit uncomfortable for a pony?" I asked Lyra.

"That's what I keep asking her." Bon Bon interjected.

"Feels fine for me, Bon Bon. You should try it sometime." Lyra said.

"I think i'll pass on that." Bon Bon replied.

"Your loss." Lyra said.

"Perhaps you have a little bit of human in you, Lyra." I said.

Lyra's eyes then lit up as if something important just came to her mind.

"Oh my gosh, you've just reminded me of something I wanted to show you!" Lyra exclaimed with excitement.

"Show me." I said.

"Okay, so i've been working real hard on modifying my levitation spell." Lyra began.

"Modify?" I asked.

"You have to see it to understand. And I have to admit that it's pretty cool. Props to you, Lyra." Bon Bon said.

"Thanks, Bonnie!" Lyra beamed.

Bon Bon slightly blushed to her nickname before turning her head and staring out the window.

"So what do you got, Lyra?" I asked.

"Now I wouldn't call this revolutionary since it's just a modification, but check this out." Lyra said.

Lyra's horn began to give off a yellow aura that coated it. The magical energy began to morph a odd looking shape into mid air, a few inches away from her horn.

"What's this supposed to be, some sort of shape morphing spell or som--." I said before stopping abruptly.

The magical shape that Lyra was morphing slowly began to take form into a recognizable design, something that is part of myself. After a few more seconds of molding, Lyra's magic energy had formed into a levitating, transparent, yellow hand with tiny white sparkles glimmering off the magical energy.

"Oh, wow!" I said in astonishment.

"Pretty cool, isn't it?" Lyra asked.

"Cool? More like extraordinary!" I replied. "You should present this modification to whoever makes spell books or somepony like that." I suggested.

"Y'know, I have been thinking about that." Lyra said.

"You should definitely do it." I said again.

"We'll see." Lyra said.

I then directed my attention back towards the mystical hand floating in front of me.

"If I were to touch this hand, would it feel like a real hand?" I asked Lyra.

"Most likely not. You would probably get a little numbing sensation from the magic, but it still has the density of a real hand." Lyra replied.

"Is that so?" I asked. "Then I suppose you wouldn't mind giving me a proper handshake." I said.

"That sounds like a good idea!" Lyra agreed.

"Put em' here!" I said, extending my right arm and fingers outwards.

Lyra's magical hand floated over towards my hand and gripped onto mine. The bottom part of my hand began to go slightly numb which eventually began to turn into pins and needles.

"Oh, wow, that feels so weird." I noted as we shook.

"You okay?" Bon Bon asked.

"Don't worry, it's nothing. Just a little bit of tingling." I said.

"Phew, this is such a first for me." Lyra admitted.

"What? The handshaking?" I asked.

"Yeah. Never in my life would I think i'd be able to shake hands like a human with an actual living human." Lyra said.

"And never in my life would I dream of shaking hands with a magical floating hand that is generated by a living unicorn, so I can see why you say that." I said.

"I know, right?" Lyra said.

Me and Lyra relived our grips, freeing my hand that felt like it had fallen asleep and dangled like a ragdolls hand. I took my right arm and quickly shook it, causing my limp hand to fling like crazy.

"How's your hand doing?" Lyra giggled to my actions.

"Still pretty numb at the moment. Hope I don't have any neurological damage." I said.

"No possible way," Lyra assured, "but as you can see, the numbness is a temporary quirk that I need to work on."

"Okay, good, because I don't want to have one hand working while the other is the polar opposite." I said.

"No need to worry." Lyra said with a smile.

I then went further into my seat and sat next to window and checked out the scenery. I could already tell that the trees and all the foliage were starting to take their rightful place in spring once again. Come to think of it, i've never really seen the true beauty of what Equestria can bring. When I first got here in November of 2012, it was during the season of fall and as expected, all the leaves were shades of orange, red, yellow and all of those kinds of colors. And in winter, all the trees were striped down to just being bark and branches, but the snow was a big plus.

If you can't tell by now, i'm a person who just likes to take in the scenery. I used to take lots of long walks down White River State Trail in my hometown of Elkhorn. Sometimes i'd just go down because I had nothing better to do or whenever my friends were out and about doing other things. I remember one time when me and my buddy Garrett were walking down the trail and we walked under an overpass that was connected to I-12. We climbed up this small hill of black rocks that were under the overpass, but were unaware that we just trespassed on the home and numerous bats. Basically, there were bats hanging upside down about five feet away from our heads and we didn't even know until we heard the high pitched screech of one bat. A few began to fly away and that made us both book it out from under the overpass. We got away unscaved, lucky enough to not get bit. After that, we told our parents about the whole situation and they sent a complaint down to city hall. Thankfully, the bats were removed from the overpass. But that's enough reminiscing, i'm going to get homesick if I keep writing about my time back on Earth.

As I sat there in my seat, a different conductor came into the passenger car and announced that the train was reaching its destination; Ponyville Train Station.

"Excited to get back to Ponyville?" Bon Bon asked.

"Oh, you bet. Can't wait to get back to Twilight, Spike and all my friends," I replied. "Seeing and talking to you guys again was real nice and a change."

"Right, from all that studying." Lyra brought back up.

"Don't remind me." I said, rubbing my eyelids.

"Heh, sorry." Lyra apologized.

The train began to slow down a little bit after the train whistle blared from the outside. This signalled me to gather my backpack and duffle bag. The whistle blew once more as the train approached the loading patio of the train station. The brakes squeaked as the train came to a complete stop. The conductor then opened the passenger door and I headed out the door.

"Hey, i'll see you two around." I said.

"You too, Caleb." they both said before walking off the wooden platform.

I turned around and began to search for Twilight and the whole gang. My vision of anything was slightly impaired from the steam coming from under the train that drifted like fog.

"Twilight? Spike? Anypony?" I called out.

"Caleb?" Twilight's voice responded.

"I think he's over there." Fluttershy said.

"I'm over here." I said.

As the steam began to evaporate into thin air, the black silhouettes of the six mares and a dragon began to appear. Once all the steam was gone, there was Twilight and the gang.

"Caleb!" they all exclaimed, cheerfully.

"Heyyyy!" I exclaimed as well.

I dropped my duffle bag and backpack onto the wooden platform and rushed over towards them. They copied my actions and did the same. Once we met, I crouched down and we all hugged each other in a large group hug.

"Oh, I missed you guys so much!" I said as we hugged.

"We all did too, Caleb." Twilight said.

We all then broke off from the group embrace.

"Heh, so how was that ninety-two day study session on Equestrian history?" Rainbow asked.

"Three words, Rainbow: Boring. As. Tartarus." I replied.

"Couldn't agree with you more. I don't think I could ever do something like that." Rainbow said.

"Three months? If you were to leave on the seventh of December and come back here on the eighth of March, then that means you were gone for seven billion-nine hundred and forty eight thousand and eight hundred seconds, one hundred-thirty two thousand and four hundred and eighty seconds, two thousand-two hundred and eight hours, thirteen weeks and one day!" Pinkie said in a fast pace without taking a single breath and ending with a chipper smile.

I could see Twilight slightly slack jawed to Pinkie's statement that required a lot of mathematical thinking while the others were snickering to Twilight's reaction.

"Gotta admit, Pinkie, that's a pretty impressive mental math calculations." I admitted.

"Oh, I didn't use my thinking, I had it all written down on this piece of paper." Pinkie said, pulling a sheet of paper out of her poofy mane with all the numbers.

"Ah." I said.

"Tell me, darling, did you enjoy your time at Canterlot?" Rarity asked.

I had to think about Canterlot for a second before answering because I kinda forgot what the whole city looked like, due to me being stuck inside the C.A.M.A facility for most of the time.

"I thought it was great. The ponies there were quite nice and welcoming. I was expecting their personalities to be self centered and snobby." I replied.

"Some are." Applejack corrected.

"I agree, but most are more sophisticated and kind." Rarity said.

"What kind of events did ya' learn in your history class?" Applejack asked.

Luckily, I read the entire Equestrian History book as a form of pastime at the C.A.M.A facility, so I easily came up with an answer.

"I learned about this pretty cool story about the sonic rainboom." I said, directing my attention towards Rainbow.

"Oh, so you learned about that, huh?" Rainbow asked.

"Sure did. I'm bet not many pegasi can achieve a speed that fast." I said.

"That's because i'm the only one alive that can!" Rainbow boasted.

"How did you manage to go that fast with wings like that?" I asked Rainbow.

"Well, it mostly had to do with the adrenaline rush and the velocity that I was flying at. At the time, Rarity was being a total showoff towards the crowd--" Rainbow said before being cut off.

"Showoff?!" Rarity exclaimed. "I would rather prefer the word presenting." Rarity said.

"Fine." Rainbow said.

"Thank you, Dash." Rarity thanked.

"As I was saying, Rarity was being a 'presenter' with these fancy wings that can support flight, but they burned up from the sunlight." Rainbow explained.

"How far up were you guys?" I asked.

"I don't know, but pretty high up in the sky," Rainbow replied. "When I saw the make up overdoer fall and scream like a damsel in distress, I quickly sprung into action." Rainbow said.

"Makeup overdoer?" I asked.

"Ugh, I had way too much makeup on that day and now that I look back, it made me looks absolutely hideous." Rarity shuddered.

"Yeah! The amount of red lipstick on her lips made them look like thick, oversized red peppers." Pinkie chipped in.

"Let's not forget about the mascara as well." Rarity added.

"Oh, Celestia, that was beyond the average amount." Rainbow said.

"Such terrible crimes against fashion." Rarity sighed.

"Alright, can we stop with the pick on Rarity day and get on with the story?" Spike asked, rather annoyed.

"Okay, okay, we're done." Rainbow said.

Rarity smiled gleefully at Spike in response for standing up for her and Spike looked down shyly at her gaze. I thought that was kinda cute.

"So then, I quickly flew down alongside with the Wonderbolts who were knocked out and were unable to save her. Once I got at a fast enough speed, I pointed my forelegs in a diving position to speed up even more than before. The pressure was so much, that I could feel parts of my face literally move around and a stream of tears was sucked from my eyes. I got even more faster and everything became a white blur, forcing me to close my eyes, but I remained on target. I managed to slightly open my eyes and the impact to the ground seemed imminent. I used up all the energy I could muster and before I knew it, I had created a sonic rainboom and saved my friends in the process. I made an instant acute turn and noticed a rainbow being formed as a trail of where I flew behind me. After heroically saving the day, I rose back into the sky and placed Rarity and the Wonderbolts on solid cloud." Rainbow told in a suspenseful tone.

"Whoa.... that had to be intense, Rainbow." I said, impressed with the tale.

"Believe me, it was." Rainbow said.

"And Fluttershy also managed to cheer for Rainbow." Twilight said.

"I never raised my voice so loud in my life. It just... came out naturally." Fluttershy said.

"Well good for you, Fluttershy." I supported.

"Thank you." Fluttershy thanked.

"So, now that you're back here in Ponyville, Pinkie thought it be nice to throw a little somethin-somethin for you." Twilight announced.

"And what would that be, Pinki--" I said, turning my head towards Pinkie original position, but nowhere to be seen. "What?" I asked, confused.

"Looks like she left to make a few finishing touches." Rarity said.

I small grin began to grow on my face.

"Oh, I think I have an idea of what the somethin-somethin is." I said, sleekly.

"Well let's go then!" Rainbow declared.

We then left the train station and ventured back to Twilight's.

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