• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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The First Night

The First Night
March 12th-13th, 2013

7:46 PM

At the moment, Spike is asleep while Twilight is still up, and i'm just putting on my camouflage outfit for my little Timberwolf stakeout. After I put my camo hat on, I quietly walked out of the bathroom, grabbed my backpack, attached the flashlight to my shoulder holster, and headed downstairs. Twilight was waiting for me downstairs, reading a book that involved the "legend" of Timberwolves. Legend my ass.

"All suited up?" Twilight asked.

"Pretty much, Twi. Just gotta get my boots on and i'm all set." I said, slipping on my boots.

I then grabbed the small fuel pump chip on the round table and headed for the front door, Twilight following behind. When me and Twilight walked outside, the sky was a mix between a light blue and orange in the west, while the east was more of a dark violet-blue mix with multitudes of white stars scattered all over the that area of the sky.

"What's all the boxes in the back for?" Twilight asked as she looked through the back door of the Land Rover.

"MRE's," I replied. "Food rations just incase if I get hungry at night. I should keep one in my backpack now that I think about it." I said.

"That would be a good idea." Twilight agreed.

I opened the back door and unzipped the largest pouch in my backpack, placing a MRE inside it. In the back were also the Ingenious and the Timberferno, so I decided to put those in their designated side-holsters on the backpack.

"Whoa!" Twilight exclaimed.

"What?" I asked.

"What do you have there? Looks like something you would see in one of Spike's futuristic comic books." Twilight said, directing her hoof towards the Igneous.

"This? It's the Igneous-1007. It fires a yellow beam of magical energy that has the capability to turn anything it comes into contact with, into stone." I answered.

"But-- but that kind of magic is only something that Princess Celestia can posses." Twilight said.

"I know. That's because Princess Celestia's donated some of her magic for this weapon's ammunition." I revealed.

"You've got alicorn magic in there?!" Twilight shouted, but I shushed her.

"Shhhh. You'll wake Spike." I whispered.

"Right... sorry," Twilight whispered back. "But I still can't believe that you have alicorn magic inside there." Twilight said in her normal tone.

"Well, that training program did serve a purpose." I said.

"You're right about that. No way would Princess Celestia allow somepony to use a weapon with that great amount of power without training. " Twilight said.

"Yeah, no kidding. This things got a kick to it i'll admit." I said.

I then looked at my watch and it was 7:50.

"Time to leave?" Twilight noticed.

"I probably should. The time that my shift starts is at eight and ends at three in the morning." I said.

"How do they know when you're out there or not?" Twilight asked.

"Actually, I have no idea. They never told me how C.A.M.A knows whether i'm patrolling or not. Perhaps they got Princess Luna secretly watching over me." I said.

"I doubt it. Princess Celestia once told me that Princess Luna watches other ponies dreams in the dream realm." Twilight said.

"Wait.... she can view other's dreams?" I asked, slightly nervous.

"That she can." Twilight replied.

I then shifted my eyes towards the sky.

"Oh, she better not have seen that one dream. If she did, then she probably has no idea who Jessica is." I said, mentally.

"Thinking about something?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, just... checking out the sky." I replied.

"It is quite beautiful, isn't it?" Twilight asked.

"It is," I said, grabbing my backpack. "Well, Twilight, I better get going." I said.

Twilight looked at me and let out a slight sigh.

"All I have to say is that you be careful out there. Be alert and ready for those Timberwolves." Twilight advised.

"Don't worry, I will. I will see you tomorrow morning. You got my word on that." I assured.

"I know you will." Twilight replied.

"C'mere." I said as I crouched down the give Twilight a hug good-bye.

Twilight then wrapped her forelegs around me while I did the same for her.

"Be careful, Caleb." Twilight said after we unlocked our hug.

"I will. See ya tomorrow morning." I said.

"Bye." Twilight replied.

Twilight walked back to the front door of the library while I climbed into the driver's seat of the Land Rover. I took one more look at the library and Twilight smiled and waved at me. I waved back in response. With that, she closed the door. I took the fuel pump out of my pocket and slipped it into the fuse slot, causing the engine to come to life. I then put the Defender into first gear and ventured to the Everfree Forest.

After driving through the streets of Ponyville, I came to the east entrance of the Everfree Forest. I stopped and looked into the entrance. For a metaphorical statement, it seemed as if darkness swallowed the path, even though it was still slightly light out. The way the wind blew the trees branches, towards the forest, almost seemed as if the forest itself was daring me to enter. I sat in silence for a moment before my watch emitted a high-pitched beep. It was now eight o'clock in the evening.

"Caleb's comin' for you, Timberwolves." I quipped.

After switching on the high beams, roof lights, and the 4x4 headlights, I entered the Everfree Forest. As I drove deeper into the forest, I would occasionally press the sweep button on the X-ray sensor to scan the area for possible Timberwolves, but the only outlines that came up were from squirrels sleeping in the trees or rabbits inside their underground burrows. However, I kept the Igneous and the Timberferno close to my side as a precaution.

Of course, since it was my first night, my eyes would play tricks on me sometimes, and these were tricks this time, not a real Timberwolf. As soon as I would see something, I would react lightning fast and press the sweep button and the X-ray sensor, only to have nothing big show up. After I got used to the eye tricks, they began to subside.

It took me about half an hour, but I finally reached the marker of where the mannequin is located. I pulled the Defender to the right side of the path and pressed the sweep button again, picking up nothing. With that, I exited the vehicle, but left the engine running. I opened the back door and grabbed the sledgehammer before heading back to the driver's side to shut off the engine. Now once I shut off the engine, I'll have to move quick because the lights on the Defender will shut off automatically in a short period of time. Fortunately, I still had the attachable flashlight that has the brightness of a spotlight. First, I turned the valve on the Timberferno incase for any close quarters combat that I could possibly come across. I then reached for the fuse box and quickly snatched the fuel pump fuse, killing the engine. I turned around and ran towards the mannequins location. I jumped over the small ditch, but that jump made me high enough for my face to impact with a thick tree branch, snapping it like twig in the process. Weirdly, I didn't really feel much pain at all. I felt the impact clear as day, but the pain wasn't as much as I was expecting.

"Ugh, that was stupid." I groaned as I recollected myself.

After rubbing the bridge of my nose, I continued to the mannequin. Once I arrived at the mannequin, I quickly examined it, but found no signs of another attack. As I looked at the mannequin more, I thought it would be a great opportunity to use the speaker; the little device that is used to attract creatures, including Timberwolves. Setting my backpack on the ground, I unzipped the small pouch for the speaker device and pulled out the small black square.

"Let's see what you say." I said as I switched on the speaker and pressed play.

"I ever tell you about the time my buddy, Stardust, made sushi? Yeah, his mom took him to one of these sushi places for his birthday and it's like ten bits of su-sho in one of these places, and he figured he wouldn't like it, but it turned out he loved it, and so he thinks, "How hard can it be roll up raw fish in seaweed?" And it turns out... it's hard. Now experience is the best teacher, and Stardust knows if you eat a whole bunch or raw rhubarb leaves, it kills you--." the annoying voice droned on before I shut it off.

"God, now I see why these creatures are attracted to the voice. They probably want to kill whoever's talking." I said.

But I still decided to keep it on to lure the Timberwolves because I really would like to get some action tonight. I then placed the speaker on the mannequins back. Once the trap was set, I walked towards the tree and jumped into it. I removed my backpack and settled it on a branch next to me. I turned the valve to close the Timberferno's flames and equipped the Igneous for the ranged attack. I flipped the switch for the Igneous and the yellow energy immediately filled the transparent barrel, emitting a low humming sound. I then got myself in a comfortable position and pointed the rifle through the clearing of leaves. And so, I began my wait for the Timberwolves.

"Shit, I hope the Timberwolves don't attack the Land Rover." I thought to myself.


It's now twelve o'clock midnight, and the Timberwolves have not taken the bait yet, but the speaker is still rambling on stories about this certain somepony named, Stardust. I've already blown through my MRE and water bottle, so now i'm just sitting around, waiting for the damn things to show. You see, my job right now is all about patience, similar to hunting deer during hunting season. And I would know because I used to hunt deer with my dad when I was younger. But yeah, not much has really been going on around here. I'll have to update my situation later on.


Okay, an hour has passed and i'm beginning to hear sounds, and these are even louder than the speaker. For example, I can hear multiple twigs snapping from behind the tree from where i'm hiding in. Not only that, but a strong, putrid smell filled my nostrils as well. To see if it's a Timberwolf, I pressed the sweep button and the wave swept across the trees and land. Slowly, two huge, dark orange outlines of wolves began to apparated from behind the tree.

"Holy shit." I whispered.

The figures were crouched and hunched over, just like a cat that was about to pounce. Suddenly, the two figures slowly side stepped away from each other; one going right and the other going left. Then the two figures began to circle the mannequin at a good stalking distance, probably waiting to see if the mannequin will move. As I peeked through the clearing of leaves, I could see a small pair of glowing green eyes in the distance. I slowly tilted my head downwards, using my camo cap to cover me. Pressing the sweep button again, I moved my eyes upward to see where the other wolf was at. I knew where the first one is, in the distance facing me, but the second one was right next to the tree I was in.

As I silently sat in the tree, the Timberwolf below me began to lowly growl. This caused the other to also growl as well. These low growls began to grow more pronounced and way more vicious, as if they were about to attack. My suspicions became true when the wolf below me pounced at the mannequin, the other emulating its partners actions.

"Yo, my buddy Stardust had this wagon drop in a lake off a bridge just like this one here--." the speaker began before the Timberwolves knocked it over, shutting it off.

I pressed the button on the X-ray sensor to see what position the Timberwolves were at. Currently, they were attacking their prefered takedown spot, the jugular area on the mannequin. Both snarled as they bit down, creating wooden chomping sound as their teeth clamped onto the metal surface of the mannequin.

"Now or never!" my subconscious exclaimed.

With one swift move, I turned on the attachable flashlight, creating a light that shined through the darkness, revealing two, large wolf-like creatures made out of various sticks, twigs, or for better words, wood. Giving them no warning, I aimed my sights at closest one and pulled the trigger, shooting a thin burst of magic towards the Timberwolf. A loud, droning, gunshot-like sound echoed across the forest and sky while the stream of energy came into contact with wolf, instantly turning it into a stone statue of itself. The other wolf immediately took notice to its partners demise and locked eyes with me. With no hesitation, I lined up the sights with the second wolf's head, racking a good headshot and stone ifying it in the process. Just like that, I had successfully defended my territory. Sure, it seems a bit easy, but believe me when I say it was incredibly nerve wracking at the same time.

Before climbing down the tree, I pressed the sweep button once more to check my surroundings, picking up nothing. I jumped off of the branch and walked over towards the two, stoned canines. I shined my flashlight onto one of the wolves face and examined it. The two eye holes that held the glowing green eyes were now hollow, indicating that whatever was inside it had left and no longer in control. Now these two particular Timberwolves were pretty big, probably five foot at least.

After taking a good look at my two stoned canines, I went for the sledgehammer by the tree. The entire sledgehammer itself looked like a toy sledgehammer because of the size of my hand and me being seven foot-eight. After retrieving it, I walked to the left side of one of the statues and raised the sledgehammer upwards with my right arm.

"Yaahh!" I shouted, bringing the sledgehammer down and striking its back with brute force.

The sledgehammer went right through the statue, crumbling the entire thing into four individual chunks of stone. I broke those chunks into smaller chunks so that I could load them into the back of the Defender. After creating those chunks, checking the perimeter once again, grabbing my backpack, weapons and devices, I headed back to the Land Rover to start the engine again to turn the lights on. After turning the lights on, I loaded the chunks of stone in the back and went back to the mannequin to set it back up.

After that, I hopped into the Defender and drove away to the dumping location I picked out. The location I chose was a small pond in the middle of the same field where I came into this world. The water depth is about fifteen or twenty feet deep, so it should be good enough. Once I arrived at the pond, I unloaded every single piece of stone and created a pile on the ground. Taking one stone, I shot-put hurled it into the middle of the pond, making a splosh sound as it impacted with the water. I repeated the same action with the other stones until I was all out. Once all the evidence was cleared, I hopped back into the Defender, reversed and drove back into the Everfree Forest to begin a patrol.

Things seemed to simmer down after my little encounter I had earlier. I circled around the entire Dovere territories about three and a half times in the span of an hour. After that hour was up, it was now three o'clock in the morning and it was time for me to head back to Ponyville. When I arrived back, I kept the low beams on and the noise at a minimal. Pretty sure most ponies would be pissed if they were woken at three in the morning.

After taking a short drive through Ponyville, I arrived back at the Golden Oak Library and quietly crept inside. At the time, i was extremely tired and exhausted from my first night. At least i'll have something big to report back to Nighthunter, so that's a plus. After heading back upstairs, I quietly sneaked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and take a quick shower since I was pretty sweaty at the time. Once I was finished with that, I got into my bed for a well deserved sleep. Waking up at eleven o'clock seems like a good wake up time in my opinion. Heh, now I know how Luna probably feels since she's up all night looking over ponies dreams. I wonder why she even does that. But anyways, I'll probably document my nightly patrols in the Everfree if something big comes up. Whether it'll be another Timberwolf encounter, Cockatrice, or maybe even something that's not documented in Equestrian history, i'll be sure to document it.

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