• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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Lunch at Hayburger

Lunch at Hayburger
November 7th, 2012

I followed behind Twilight for quite some time and it looked like we were heading for the outskirts of Ponyville.

"So, tell me. where are you taking us?" I asked.

"Oh, just to a well known fast food joint that's real popular in Ponyville. Somewhere simple." Twilight said.

"They got some pretty good stuff there." Spike added.

"Sounds good to me. I'll eat anything if it's good." I said

After walking for awhile, we ended up stopping at a building that had a huge sign on the roof. The signed depicted of a burger and a fast food soda cup. Kinda reminded me of a McDonald's.

"Smell that food?" Spike asked.

"Oh yeah. That's the smell of delicious." I replied.

"Then let's not waste no more time and get in there." Spike said.

As we entered the building, there were other ponies there that were dining as well. Everybody stopped eating and looked at me like they saw a ghost. One pony dropped a burger out of his mouth at the sight of me and there were some ponies that looked like they were Applebloom’s age. They feared me much more than Applebloom, who was quite enthusiastic about me. I felt so bad when I saw the young ponies cling to their parents. Before I knew it, we were at the order counter.

“Hello, welcome to The Hay Burger, how may I help you?” the cashier asked while switching his line of sight to me and then Twilight.

“Hi, I’ll have the Hayburger with a side of horseshoe fries. Spike?” Twilight said.

“Uhhh, i’ll take what she’s having. What about you Caleb?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll just take what they’re having as well.” I said.

“Okay, your total is four bits.” the cashier said.

Twilight used her magic to take out four gold coins out of a pouch and gave them to the cashier. I’m guessing these are supposed to be bits.

“Thank you. Take a seat anywhere you want and your food will be out soon.” the cashier said.

"Thanks." Twilight replied.

All three of us looked for a decent seat that could fit us and we decided to take a booth by the side of a window. To pass the wait time, I brought up the princess.

"What's the princess like?" I asked Twilight.

"Actually there's two princesses." Spike informed.

"Oh really? Then what are they both like individually?" I asked again.

"Ah, Princess Celestia. She's kind, caring, mellow, and overall just a great leader of Equestria." Twilight said.

"Celestia? Doesn't the word celestial mean upwards or something?" I asked.

"That's correct. She's the princess who raises the sun everyday." Twilight said.

I then looked at Twilight with a confused expression and leaned my head in a bit closer.

"Um? Raises the sun?" I asked, perplexedly.

"I know. Pretty hard to believe." Twilight said.

"There's no way. How!? How can a unicorn have the capability to move a gigantic ball of fire that's thousands of miles away from Earth?" I asked.

"That's the thing. Princess Celestia and her sister, Princess Luna, are variants of ponies that are allowed to achieve a feat of magic that great." Twilight answered.

"What are they?" I asked.

"They're alicorns. Alicorns are a cross between a unicorn and a pegasus. If a alicorn has great knowledge in advanced magic, they can become the most powerful being in Equestria." Twilight said.

"Unbelieveable....." I said. "So that means Princess Luna has the duty of raising and lowering the moon." I said.

"Precisely." Twilight replied.

Shortly after our astounding conversation, our order had finally arrived.

"Ooooh, there it is." Spike said, hungrily.

"Only the professionals know how to eat this, Spike." I said, referring to me and Spike.

Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes in response.

“Ok, three orders of Hayburgers and Horseshoe Fries?” the waiter questioned.

“Yep, that’s us.” Twilight clarified.

“Alright then, here ya go. Anything else?” the waiter asked.

“No thanks.” Twilight said.

“Nope.” Spike said.

“I’m good.” I said.

"Very good. I'll leave you guys to your food. Holler if you need anything." the waiter said.

The waiter walked away and I looked down at my food. The Hayburger was indeed a hayburger. It had hay pressed in between two buns. I looked over at Twilight who was casually eating her burger and Spike was gobbling it down as if he just ate something after years of starvation. I then grabbed the burger and looked at it. I started to sniff out small laughs.

"What's so funny?" Twilight asked.

"It's just so out of norm to eat hay back in my world. Should I eat this?" I asked while laughing.

"Give it a shot. Maybe you'll like it." Twilight suggested.

"Alright, here I go." I said.

I slowly took a bite into my burger. After the bite, I began to chew the hay and hunched forward.

"It's not that bad." I mumbled.

I think the lettuce, cheese, and ketchup is what saved it from tasting bland because hay tastes like hay. After chewing on the hay and swallowing, I took a fry, dipped it in ketchup and popped it in my mouth. It tasted just like a normal french fry.

"Mmmm. These are delicious." I said while popping another fry into my mouth.

"You and me got something in common. We like fast food." Spike said.

"You're right about that." I responded.

"Do you have burgers from where you come from?" Twilight asked.

"We sure do." I said.

"I'm supposing your worlds version of burgers didn't have hay on them?" Twilight guessed.

"Yep. A meat patty instead of hay." I said.

"Meat? So you're an omnivore?" Twilight asked, surprised.

"Mmm-hmm." I hummed as I chewed on my hayburger.

"Interesting." Twilight said.

Sometime later, all of our food was cleaned from our plates. The waiter came back and took our plates after we finished. We then left a little tip for him and left.

"That was pretty good. Thanks, Twilight." Spike said.

"Yeah, thanks Twilight." I repeated.

"You're welcome, guys." Twilight responded. "Caleb, if you want, you can work on your little speech at the library if you want." Twilight offered.

"I'd like that. Be sure to keep it down when i'm writing my words of wisdom." I said.

"Don't worry, we will." Twilight said.

Later on, we arrived back at Twilight's library and headed back inside.

"You got any paper I can use?" I asked Twilight.

"Right here." she replied as she handed me a blank piece of paper, a small bottle of ink, and a quill. "Want some help with what to write?" Twilight offered her help.

"No thanks. I feel that this must come from the heart." I said.

"Gotcha." Twilight said.

So for the rest of the day, I pretty much prepared for my speech. It took me about an hour to come up with my little speech and after I finished, it was all about practice. I practiced in front of Twilight and Spike, and they seemed to like it. At first, I kinda slipped up because my mind would go blank when I was trying to remember what I was going to say. But you know what they say, practice makes perfect. And when I said I pretty much practiced all day, I did practice all day. It was eight twenty-four at night when I, Twilight, and Spike felt I finally perfected the speech.

“Well Caleb, you’ve come quite a long way today.” Twilight remarked.

“Yeah, well, all that work paid off.” I responded.

“Do you have any place to stay Caleb?” Twilight asked.

“No…. no I don’t.” I said.

“Well, I’m willing to offer you my home as a place to stay until we can actually get you a home.” Twilight said, generously.

“Are you serious!?” I exclaimed.

“Sure. Spike and I like spending time with you.” Twilight said.

“Thank you so much! I owe you and Spike one.” I said as I hugged her for some reason.

“Too tight!” Twilight said.

“Heh, sorry. I just got overjoyed for a second." I said, embarrassed. "So where am I sleeping?” I asked.

“About that, we have a couch right over there. Is that ok with you?” Twilight asked.

“Sure, that’s ok with me.” I agreed.

“Then its settled. Spike, will you go get Caleb a pillow and blanket?” Twilight asked Spike.

“On it, Twilight.” Spike said.

Spike came back down with my pillow and blanket and settled them on the couch.

“Well, Twilight and Spike, I think it's time for me to go to bed. I’ve got a big day tomorrow.” I said.

“That’s right. A good night's sleep is good for you.” Spike said.

“Welp, good night guys.” I said with a yawn.

“See you in the morning.” Twilight said.

“Night, Caleb.” Spike said.

“Good Night” I said.

After they went upstairs, I shut off the lights, got on the couch and went to sleep.

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