• Published 2nd Mar 2017
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Land of Equines - Daddy Joe



Who would've thought that being at the wrong place at the wrong time would bring something so surreal.

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The Excerpt

The Excerpt
April 26th, 2013

"Thanks so much for making us dinner tonight, Caleb. It was a really nice thing to do." Twilight thanked, kindly.

"Yeah! This spaghetti is great!" Spike said, followed by him licking spaghetti sauce off his lips with his forked tongue.

"Well, y'know, I can boil noodles real good, Spike." I said, tossing the spaghetti box in the trash.

With that out of the way, I sat at the table with Twilight and Spike and began to chow down on my elegant cuisine that I had prepared. But, it wasn't really bad at all once I took a second bite.

"Didn't you say that humans eat meatballs with spaghetti?" Spike brought up.

"Yep." I replied.

"And what exactly are those made of?" Twilight asked.

"Pretty much anything that can provide meat." I said.

"Such as?" Twilight asked.

"Beef, primarily." I replied.

"Blegh! There's no way I'd eat spaghetti if I ever saw a meatball on my plate." Twilight said, grinning.

"Don't worry, Twilight, I make sure to abide to your kinds customs." I said.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind at all." Spike interjected.

Twilight slowly turned her head towards Spike.

"Really?" she asked.

"Oh, come on, I was just kidding." Spike said.

"That's what I thought, Spike." Twilight said, playfully bumping his shoulder with her hoof.


I was just about done tieing my black boot on my left foot when I noticed Twilight approaching me in my peripheral vision, her horn creating a dark-pink colored aura that illuminated dimly.

"Come down to say goodbye?" I assumed.

"As always. But seriously, just take care of yourself out there, okay, Caleb?" Twilight said, gently placing her hoof on my knee.

"I know, I know, you say it every night. Look, I'll see you tomorrow morning," I said, standing upwards. "Or, what I should say is at noon."

"I don't blame you, though. You do have some very late working hours." Twilight said.

"I got off lucky, actually. Nighthunter told me that it used to be 8 PM to 6 AM." I said.

"It was that long?" she asked.

"Yep," I replied, looking at my watch. "Alright, I should get going now. See ya."

"Bye, Caleb."


I drove on my regular route to the Everfree Forest throughout Ponyville as usual, thinking it was just going to be short and sweet. I had the window to my left slid open and a nice breeze blew into my ear and across my face, but I heard something else mixed with the wind. It sounded like a voice from outside. I slightly jolted my head to the left a little bit, but didn't see anything out the window. And so, I began to think nothing of it until I heard it again, but more faint.

"Okay, is there someone behind me?" I asked myself.

I slowly applied the brakes and came to a stop by the side of the road, peeking my head out the window a little bit.

"Hello?" I said out the window, immediately followed up with a pair of eyes right up in my face and nearly triggering my nightly instincts.

"Oh, thank goodness, you stopped. Giving me quite a workout, huh?" a familiar aquamarine mare asked.

"Lyra? Man, you nearly got a fist to the face." I said, adjusting myself in my seat.

"Geez, did I really scare you that much?" Lyra asked.

"Well, it was more of like an involuntary reaction, but kinda." I replied.

"Sorry about that, Caleb." she apologized.

"No prob, Lyra. So, what are you doing out here all by yourself, if you don't mind me asking?" I asked.

"Oh, I was actually just about to head over to the Golden Oak Library, but all the lights were out and so I thought, 'Okay, they're all asleep, so I'll come back tomorrow morning,' but then I saw your land crawler thing drive by when I was walking back to my place and I decided to chase you down to get your attention. Otherwise, that's how I ended up here." Lyra explained.

"Alright, then I guess that explains that. But why were you heading to the library?" I asked.

"I wanted to show you this. I think it's something important for both you and me." Lyra said, going for a pouch that was strapped around her body.

She handed me and piece of faded piece paper that had the scent of age on it.

"This thing looks old. How old is it?" I asked.

"Believe it or not, it is confirmed that this is older than the beginning of Equestria." Lyra replied.

"What?!" I exclaimed.

When I looked at the title, I was honestly didn't know what to make of it. It read, "the fourth winter," in poor handwriting, or hoofwriting, but still readable.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, shutting off the Land Rover's engine.

"At an auction in Manehatten about a few weeks after you arrived in Equestria. Of course, you were in the hospital at the time, so I never really got the chance to show you it and so on and so forth, but I just found it again, like, not long ago." Lyra said.

"Oh," I said. "Here, come around the car and sit in the passenger seat and we can read it together."

"Alright. But I do want you to know that it's kind of a dark read." Lyra warned.

"What's it about?" I asked.

"Just read and you'll see." Lyra replied.

the fourth winter

this is the fourth winter already and they just won't stop coming no matter what we do. every few months or so we move to a new place to grow our crops for those darn pegasus and unicorn ponies but we still get the worst out of all of them. its just not fair. we have nothing pretty much so everypony packed up to move on to a new place and hope this blizzard doesn't follow. me and my brother were carrying what we could carry so we don't have much right now even our clothing was terrible but it's better than going out in our own fur coats during the blizzard. our tribe also saw one of those two legged things out there and without any form of clothing on. we were curious why it wasn't wearing any clothing but it wasn't in numbers. if we see one we usually spot about four or five together but this one was alone. we watched it for a few minutes it was just standing there all by itself in the distance of the blizzard. a tough thing i admit if it could withstand such cold. and believe it or not it even dropped down to take rest in the snow. can you believe that? but anywho we have just settled in our new home. every earth pony is hoping for the best and for a good harvest this time.


"Huh. Celestia was correct." I said.

"Princess Celestia knows about this, too?" Lyra asked.

"She mentioned that she heard a story about the creatures, but I think I'm the first she has ever seen in her life," I said, setting the excerpt in the center console. "Why did you show me this letter?"

"Well, I remembered you told me once that wanted some more answers on pre-Equestria humans, so I thought I would bring this to you. And I know this isn't exactly a warm-spirited letter, so I wasn't trying to make you mad or disturb you, if that what you were thinking at first." Lyra said.

"No, not at all. To be honest, it's kinda... cool. I think of it as a lost piece of history that tells the story of possible humans beyond this time. And I don't know whether these are humans like me, maybe they're just predecessors, something very similar to humans, or perhaps some other biped creature, but that's what I like to think of it as." I said.

"I agree. I mean, the word human in Equestria was formed by the combination of both words huge and man because the creatures were considered, well, huge and they used the phrase, 'man,' to describe one another." Lyra informed.

"Really? I did not know that." I said.

"That's what old, rare, ancient records say, but there's really no confirmation whether these creatures were actually your specific kind." Lyra said.

"So, you could've been obsessing over an ancient specie that probably wasn't even my own?" I asked.

"Possibly... but they were bipedal." Lyra replied.

"Wow... Uh, here, take it." I said, giving Lyra the excerpt.

"No, you take it. Maybe you can take back to your world if you somehow find a way and show it to your species." Lyra suggested.

"Really? Gee, thanks," I said, taking the excerpt, folding it by fours and stored it in my pocket. "But I highly doubt I'll ever find a way back to my homeworld."

"You might be right about that, but at least you have us ponies!" Lyra chirped.

"I sure do, Lyra. I sure do," I said as I leaned over to wrap my right arm around her in friendly manner, getting another smile out of her. "Need a ride back to your place?"

"Yesss, that would be great. Thanks, Caleb." Lyra said, gratefully.

With that, I started up the Land Rover and drove to Lyra's place.

"So if I may ask, why were you driving around at night?" Lyra asked.

My mind went blank for a split second.

"Oh, uh, um... just taking a leisure night drive. Ah yeah, really boring around the Golden Oak Library at night, so I like to take little drives around Ponyville." I lied.

"Me too! Well, except I usually walk and it's during the daytime with Bon Bon." Lyra said.

"What about jogging, or trotting, for your case?" I asked.

"Of course. I took part in the Running Of The Leaves last year." Lyra replied.

"Cool. Then I suppose you wouldn't mind me asking if you wanna take jog in the Everfree tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure! We can totally do that!" Lyra said with enthusiasm.

"Alright, then we have a plan. Y'know, you're the first pony I've ever heard that seemed excited for jogging." I said.

"If I have an opportunity to spend time with a human, then I'll sure take it. And also since you're such a great friend." Lyra explained.

After I had dropped off Lyra, I took the excerpt out of my pocket and looked at it once again, deciding to read it a second time.

"I guess I'm really the first actual human in Equestria." I said to myself.

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