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Twilight gets Nurses

Twilight is sick for while, so she gets nurses to make her feel better.

Chapters (5)

Twilight gets her nurses · 10th Nov 2016 · 735 words
735
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The soup · 10th Nov 2016 · 876 words
876
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The story · 10th Nov 2016 · 745 words
745
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The bath · 13th Nov 2016 · 242 words
242
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The Final Part · 13th Nov 2016 · 66 words
66
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Comments ( 7 )

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Penn Hooven #1 · Nov 13th, 2016 · · · Twilight gets her nurses ·

I'm just going to suggest that you read some of the more popular stories to see the flow of telling a story. This feels wooden, almost like an outline rather than a completed story.

OmniFox

OmniFox #2 · Nov 13th, 2016 · · · Twilight gets her nurses ·

Could be worse.

OmniFox

OmniFox #3 · Nov 13th, 2016 · · · The soup ·

In their defense, they shouldn't let Sweetie Belle cook.

OmniFox

OmniFox #4 · Nov 13th, 2016 · · · The story ·

PMS much.

OmniFox

OmniFox #5 · Nov 13th, 2016 · · · The bath ·

Stubborn egghead.

OmniFox

OmniFox #6 · Nov 13th, 2016 · · · The Final Part ·

What's wrong with her?

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