• Member Since 21st Feb, 2016
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Comments ( 14 )

7740133

Fixed. It originally was anthro, but seeing as it doesn't match with the site rules, the story has been edited. I just forgot to remove the tag.

Thanks for bringing it to my attention though! :twilightsmile:

7740144 Oh, alright. Thanks for mending the error.

Oh, shit, no way! Bad Parenting is my favorite tag! O.O :pinkiegasp::twilightblush::rainbowlaugh:

So this is super hot, but it could have used a little more focus on the actual sex going on. It's so focused on Twilight's panic that we get very little description of the crazy hot sex that's happening. Maybe focusing on Twilight Velvet a little more(and maybe some stuff while Twilight is dead) would have help that. Also you missed the incest and futa tags.

10/10 concept
4/10 fap-ability

7741287

Agreed. It doesn't go too much into the details of the sex, though that was more of a conscious choice than anything else.

I wrote the story as more of an exploration of emotions involved from Twilight's perspective rather than the sex. (I'm actually quite turned off by the whole scene to be honest.) I wanted to explore the emotional effects and justifications that would happen if she and Velvet had a relationship such as this; the fact that, while brutal in execution, her mother still does love her.

I'm sorry it wasn't completely to your expectations, but I'm glad you like it nonetheless! :pinkiehappy:

“Warn me before you kill me next time, okay? My neck still hurts.” Twilight explained with a slight grimace.

I like what you are going for here, but I would note that Twilight seemed a little blunt in the end. Since you didn't say what tone of voice she had, it could have been delivered deadpan like the story came to its punchline or it could have been said softly. I think it would be better to extend the dialogue somewhat to elicit more emotional aftercare or try to get her mom to listen in the most sensitive way.

The issues this fic addresses are quite relevant to real life, as there are some games that end up going too far, getting too uncomfortable, and then the participant is faced with the dilemma of deciding if they want to continue experiencing it or not. Even if they have to be a buzzkill against their playmates, they'll eventually put an end to the situation once they're sure they've seriously had enough. I've been on both sides of this, it is just something that inevitably happens as people learn how they want to be treated.

However, the way you portray Twilight makes it unlikely she would bluntly establish a boundary like that; she would try to be nice about it at first and treat it like it's nothing serious because it sucks to feel serious and she wouldn't want her mom to feel bad. And then she would start putting up serious boundaries if her mom was a repeat offender of her trust.

7742694

The whole initial content of the story was a breach of trust. Even Twilight has her limits when it comes to being nice and soft spoken (in the realm of the story). The other encounters were 'pushing the boundary' so to speak, and this was the tipping point. I'd like to think Twilight said it in a more soft, but still deadpan tone. She was hurt, and is reacting to that hurt.

I do appreciate the input though!

Welp, that was a thing that I put in my brain.

7806147
Don't worry, my brain's been a lost cause for decades.

Comment posted by shadowdash0099 deleted Feb 24th, 2017
RC

7806370 I concur with your sentiment.

Ya know... ive seen some dysfunctional pony relationships, but i gotta say this is the first time ive seen a loving BDSM relationship with casual execution of a small child mid incestous intercourse with her non-binary sex mother, not to mention necromancy aftercare... what have ponies become?

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