- Member Since 24th May, 2014
- offline last seen Yesterday
taterforlife
I love fluttercord way too much.
taterforlife
Joined 24th May, 2014 ·
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Really cute and touching. ^_^
As I said in PM, I think parts of the bedroom scene moved a bit too quickly, but I love the character touches here and there, which I think a lot of writers of this kind of material forget. Like her crossing her legs and blushing, and him talking to her to make her more comfortable.
I think parts of it were more tell than show, like the first kissing scene. Writing about how they're feeling when they do things would make it feel smoother, I think. And their thoughts and feelings as they make love don't necessarily need to be said to each other. Again, show don't tell.
I still really enjoyed it though. And the snuggling at the end. I'm a sucker for snuggling.
7612517
Thank you! Yeah, I had a feeling it moved too fast, but I wasn't sure. And I tend to get a little too into it when I describe what's actually happening with kisses. I think I might be a kissing monster. Not in reality, but in my imagination. Haha. Awww, I really loved that scene too, one of my favorites. It's something you've done in your own stories and I wanted to give it a try too. And when it comes to private situations, it is all too easy for me to imagine how Fluttershy would act. Goodness, I'd be that way too, I think.
Ah, show don't tell. Advice I've received before, but with a type of writing I was more familiar with. I will remember that for next time or if I ever take a moment to improve this one. That tends to be a problem I struggle with. More so with situations I've never really tried with before. Sure, I've started rp'ing this stuff, but with that I've got a partner to help me out. This was all me, so it was something new. Thanks for telling me and being honest about it. Now I know what I can do to improve!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YAY! I'm so glad you did despite its faults. I'll have to hopefully write another one and see if I can do better! If I find the time, of course. But yes, the snuggling. We are ALL suckers for snuggs. ALL OF US.
Thanks again, Woolly, you're the best!
It means a lot to me.
That was very cute, and nice written. The love making was a bit short maybe, but still good.
Thumbs up.
7612632 Awww thank you! Yeah, I'm not very experienced with this kind of writing. I've never written a fic of this nature before. This was my first real try. But if it was good despite its problems, then that means I can get better and that this wasn't bad for a first try! So thank you very much for your feedback and thumbs-up! It's very encouraging and means a lot.
im 16! SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!
that's my bro discord right there!!!!!!
7612732
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE DOING ANYTHING OF THE SORT
DON'T LET ME AND OTHER FICS RUIN YOUR WORLD
IT'S NOT REALITY!!!!
Did I mention that being safe and keeping your clothes on is just absolutely fantastic? BOY OH BOY DO I LOVE IT, I AM SUCCESSFUL TODAY JUST BECAUSE HAVING CLOTHES ON AND DOING RATED-PG ACTIVITIES IS THE BEST THERE IS AND NOT TOUCHING ANYBODY, WHOOOOOO
7612784
hehehahaha!! the today world im i right?
plus 16? i watched 2 girls 1 cup once............. btw i do have a mental problem.
7612784 Don't you know M rated stories are for 13 years and younger while E rated ones are for 18 years old. This world is messed up
7612813
...Please, for the love of God, don't tell me what that is. I mean it. I really don't want to know, nor do I need you or anyone to supply me with that information. If you do, I will not acknowledge it. You do what makes you happy, but please let me keep what little innocence I have left. I'm not sure if I even HAVE any left.
7613005
I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE
7613049 that why all kids play Call of Duty while adults/college students play Pokemon, Mario or Kirby. Your life is a lie, take the red pill you stay in that lie, take the blue pill you can see how deep this hole goes.
7613101 I have to take pills?!?
This was amazing!!!
I feel u could've done more with the... bouncing scene, but it was still amazing nonetheless. Tbh that kissing scene gave me a boner... 
oh and don't worry u did an excellent job on this type of story, you should maybe try writing some more like this. Also are you going to update my little draconequus any time soon? That's such a beautiful story, and that one chapter was so depressing, I've never cried from reading something before until that 
The Twin
This was a really well written story. You did a great job keeping Fluttershy and Discord in character even at the most heated moments. Which is something I haven't before, people tend to not have character moments during these type of stories once the kissing starts, I loved the part where Fluttershy stopped the kiss and Discord immediately started freaking out in his head, that scene is exactly how I think it would go between those two. I think you over sold it with the warnings, I had prepared myself for the worst, but it never happened. Which I like.
Your a very good writer Tater, please keep it up.
Kissing can be very hot. I like this story. You don't need a lot of lewd sexual references to make it good. This read kind of like a romance novel. though I agree, the actual love scene could have used more substance. Try reading the "Clan of the Cave Bear" series. "Valley of the Horses" and "The Mammoth Hunters" has some pretty hot love scenes.
I always love your Fluttercord, but this deserves special mention for being the only fic of this... nature I've ever seen that actually kept them both perfectly in-character the whole time. Maybe the actual intimacy could have been extended, but I like that you managed to get the right atmosphere and heat for this kind of piece without making it awkwardly explicit, which is another thing M-rated fics tend to slip into. Also, Fluttershy pretending to be asleep and surprising him is literally tearing my heart apart I cannot! Amazing story ^-^
Now this... this is some good smut. 🙂 It felt very in-character and I love how you focused so much on their feelings and their trust in each other. Just excellent, couldn't ask for more 😁
Very sweetly, and tastefully, executed. And the pacing of the climatic scene (no pun) was very realistic, glad you didn't gratuitously draw it out.