A statuary store in the middle of nowhere, a fashionista with forgotten memories, and a place outside of time. A big break, a damaged road, the travelers stone shows a way. Now watch as long lost memories return to one purple maned unicorn. For this way was a bypass from the old road, one that only the very lucky or truly mad are able to find. Along this road are many things, some best left alone in their home of stone.
This piece is much more about the implied horror and the why, it does start getting weird fast near the end of chapter two.
Labeled gore for implications in the second and possibly third parts of the story. Labeled human because human statues, there is a reason.
If you don't want to see Rarity in any sort of danger, move on now.
Title picture is actually of a statue I own that may be part of the stories inspiration.
This is shaping up to be a treat.
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Why thank you, I am glad you enjoyed this little tale of mine so far.
Glen Gorewood
Well, this went from normal creepy to downright eldritch. As for the third chapter , on the one hand there is something to be said about keeping the horror behind a vale and leaving the worst to the imagination of the readers. on the other hand things can also be said about tearing away the vale and showing the true depth of the danger. Personaly, I am vary curious and you did give us the perfect segue way into the rabbit hole with Rarity's memory, to the point that it would seem like an abrupt ending if you don't publish it. So go for it.
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Why thank you, I was going for Steven King'esk but eldritch works as well. The final chapter still needs fleshing out and editing, after reading through it again I realized it may need tweaks yet. Some piece just don't feel right.
I'm glad you are interested in seeing where this is going, a hint is hidden in the name of The Statuary Stops proprietor as to how far down the rabbit hole this may go. The last half is an anagram, but please hide it in spoilers when you decipher it.
There may be a prequel in the works, slowly shifting and twisting it's way into the story from far before and beyond the horizon.
Glen Gorewood
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The proprietors name? I know "Terminus" means end and "Langoliesier" is derived from "The Langoliers" (which I watched as a kid). You also mention an anagram, do you mean Langoliesier? The closest I get is that you can rearrange some of the letters into "erase" (I'm not vary good at anagrams an probably wont even try to solve it).
As to my theories of what is going on considering the guys name and the male Celestia and Luna statues, the statues are unfortunates from cast off timelines that got caught by something that dwells between, maybe? It seems to imply time shenanigans.
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You might want to spoiler out the bit about what the two parts of the name mean.
To all future readers here there be spoilers.
As for your answer KM the DM wellit is very close concerning the prequel, in which the Alicorn and Draconequi statues will be explained though both do play a role in the third chapter.
This all hints at the larger picture in the stories lore, especially when you find out how statues are made in chapter three.
Edited by Author for excessive spoilers.
Hey.
Here’s what I think so far.
I understand the frustration of putting so much into a story only to have it seemingly completely ignored. I’d much prefer reviews to likes (though both are nice) and I honestly don’t understand why more readers aren’t taking the time to let you know what they think, critically or otherwise. Perhaps it’s in the delivery. Your use of rhetoric. Maybe the title or image doesn’t quite catch the eye. I can’t tell you what the issue is, but I can tell you what I think.
At the beginning, I got the sense that you were trying some world building. I’ve always enjoyed folklore. The sense of scenery was nicely done as well. The serene landscape, the swaying of the grass, you have a nice tact for setting. Perhaps the long paragraphs might have turned away potential readers. Reading this on a phone, such as I did, can be quite taxing on the eyes. Not all readers enjoy disseminating long lines of information detailing the interior of the cottage or Silver Trails’ harness. Many tend to favor dialogue over exposition.
I find that Rarity is the most difficult pony to write for. Her sophistication, terminology, and insider's knowledge of all things fashion (which I know NOTHING about) have me generally avoiding her. And while I absolutely love her singing voice and find her one of the funnies ponies on the show, I just can't relate to her that well. Choosing her as your protagonist was a real challenge. Unless you're a real Rarity fan, there's no little attachment to her well-being in this story. I don't want bad things to happen to her, but it wouldn't be as traumatizing as if, say, Flutters or Twilight were to suddenly find themselves in a hellish predicament. That's just me thought.
As for the concept itself, I find myself really drawn to “lost on the road” genre. I prefer riding shotgun on long journeys and just watching the road go by. I often find myself wondering “what if we went down a different road? What if we turned left instead of right? What’s down that path? What if we go through the trees?” Imagine the adventures that could be had? Though sometimes straying too far off the path can lead to disaster. Exploring an otherworldly locale is always exciting...and terrifying.
I really would like to see how this ends if you haven't decided on ending it already. As I said, I think it's your emphasis on so much description that might really turn off a lot of your readers. I think this story would have had more of an impact if it were told through a first POV. If Rarity is describing everything she sees in an inner monologue, then it would make sense to have long paragraphs. The segment where she details each and every statue in the barn was well-done, if a bit excessive at times.
My two cents. Keep writing.
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Thank you for the review Blue Colton,
likes are good but reviews are better I agree, though both are twice as nice.
Sadly I'm afflicted with "Old school fantasy, horror, and science fiction" syndrome. I love creating settings and places, and having characters interact with them more in a ways that dialogue can't portray alone. If I could get away with it and still have people read my work, I would describe every contour of that barn and every other object in intensive detail. Every single one, down to micro organisms.
I do use dialogue but I find internal dialogue to be just as important. I also like to mix writing styles, often using two (or ore) forms of writing in harmony over one boring singular one.
Thank you for your two cents, the next chapter still needs tweaks yet, but It'll be out tomorrow.
As for keeping on writing, I couldn't stop if I wanted to.
Glen Gorewood
Story is absolutely awesome!
Also that fallen god's name. I see what you did there!
By the way, what happened to the deity of boundaries so that it fell? Or it's up to our imagination also?
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Why thank you, that is very kind of you to say.
Yes! Somebody gets the inside reference in the name, that is also referenced in the description of the fallen deity itself.
As for what happened to the deity of boundaries, that will be explained in the Prequel I've been stuck on for a few months. It also explains why Rarity was able to get away twice, and might go just a little bit Greek style tragedy. I will hand out one hint or two though, that fallen deity has been at this a very long time. Longer than the current wielders of the sun and moon have been around, in fact he might predate more than just them. Since he is the fallen deity of boundaries, who's to say he only has byways that lead to Equestria?
My apologies for not responding right away, real life vehicular issues occurred and had to take priority.
Glen Gorewood
>>Glen Gorewood That's all right. I understand that people have things to do. Well it will be super awesome to see the prequel one day, especially if there will be a taste of a classic tragedy to it.
This make me shudder since what you said makes PERFECT sense if we take, say, Dark Tower Verse - why worlds moved and why everything is falling apart. But even more sense it makes with that story about that one lady who just LOVED using byways.
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Car problems sadly, are not something you can put off in the middle of Winter.
Indeed the premise terrifying, especially if I happen to mention that I hadn't read the Dark Tower series yet when the original idea for a story like this came into existence when I was a little kid. Though similarities exist, the basis for it is different and inherently more mortifying due to that little bit of information.
The entire concept is based off a nightmare I had as a kid after visiting a creepy statuary shop in the middle of nowhere with my parents. While there I purchased a realistic looking unicorn statue, it has barely aged to this day.[/spoiler] The fiendish burning kiln was in the nightmare, as were the statues themselves, and the fallen deity of boundaries; which kept repeating for over three months. This was long before I had seen a particular movie or managed to read a certain book. Though I do make Steven King references and do admit to being inspired by his work, and open references in being put in names; the description and setting is from my demented mind.
Having read most of The Dark Tower Series, and many of Steven King's other works; inevitably some of his terms may find their way into this story series. Expect references to itsy bitsy hoofsies and feetsies in the future, mostly because I can't not use that "Kingfisher" reference eventually. There is also a short story series related to all the types of Byways and Back roads, and the victims/survivors of them in the works. As for the tragic prequel, you will feel bad for the fallen deity by the end of it; and even worse for Rarity.
I'm hoping if things go well with my car to get chapter one of the prequel out by the middle of the week. Since it's based off the Greek Tragedy concept the format will be different than my usual writing style. But it, like all the others in this particular story series will be tied together by one very obvious common link. Disturbing lyrics and rhymes that say more than they appear to. If you want a hint about what will be in the prequel, I suggest reading the song Rarity's biological father sang at the end of the last chapter.
Beware low ponies in yellow coats, and fear the ones in suits whose faces blur in focus. But those you must fear most of all, are the ones whose forms long ago did fall. Those who take shape as they desire, with goals to bake you in the fire.
Byways and back roads will lead you astray, to darkness or safety no one can say. Many have been lost, few will escape. Beware the markers of boundaries this day, or risk your existence you may.
Glen Gorewood
You can has review!