- Member Since 16th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen 36 minutes ago
Dusk Melody
I wish I was enough. But I'm not and never will be.
Dusk Melody
Joined 16th Oct, 2014 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Dusk Melody · 16k words · 23 13 · 481 views
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Very well written first chapter. I like it!
7534807 thank you my friend.
the second chapter, 'Anger', will be up in a few days
i.imgur.com/dhMeAzK.gif
Great as always. Can't wait for next chapter.
you're a fantastic writer. You definitely know how to express your characters' emotions in a way that can be felt by your readers. Very good story. I look very much forward to reading your next chapter.
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I've just started work on Chapter 3 - Bargaining. It should be ready by mid month
What does ABDL stand for?
maaaaaaaaaan.
7647576 Adult Baby Diaper Lover - for the kink demonstrated in chapter 2
7647790 did you like it my friend?
7648460 yeeeeaaaah
7648465 you're so awesome dude
Wow... the first part reflected my early childhood almost perfectly but it wasn't about wings, oh no. It was about my academics and about how my mother wanted me to be something. Now, in high school, I am proud of what I achieved and my family are too, bit I digress.
The second part was darker, and I liked how you wrote: no matter what you've done, death is not the answer. Very true. I applaud you for this spectacular chapter.
>E-Bay
If there's one thing that consistently annoys me, it's lame real-world references like that. Could you not have at least called it E-Hay?
Writing is fine, solid mechanics and you punctuate dialogue correctly, which feels all too rare in the padded pony niche. Rather dry, though, lacks punch and presence in terms of style. Overall, you're better than the majority of writers here, but I'm afraid the story doesn't really grab me.
7672279 Actually I thought about E-Hay, but i decided against it as i was worried that was a lame over compensation.
I thank you for the compliments, I understand your criticisms. I'm sorry the story didn't grab you as it were, but thank you for reading!
Basically, me right now. But not what Air raid is feeling.
7721844 Thanks Szalhi! I hope you liked Loose Cannon in this chapter!
When you were going on about wing boners, the strangest thought happened to cross my mind. What if birds on Earth had wing boners as well? Welp, be careful of birds randomly falling from hundreds of metres up and from trees during breeding season then. It's a bombardment of birds! :P
Very... hmm... interesting dialougue I must say. Can't wait for next chapter!
7740959
Interesting? How so, and which bit?
Damn, i hate it when notifications don't display correctly
7740964 Ah yes. Cyclone's dialogue. Sorry I did not reply earlier, your reply did not hit my inbox. Nor did the new chapter add 1 to my tracking, now come to think about it. Hmm... I'll get it checked out.
7777343 I can't wait to hear your comments on Ch6!
lol bounce like a little filly that part was funny.
Throne, the feels!
7810358 Glad you liked that bit
7810383 There are feels. I'm not sorry either
I'm just super happy you like it my friend
Mandatory comment.
I dont have anything better to say
7810562 Aww c'mon Szalhi, you know I love you and your comments, right?
Poor Dark Star...
7812935 yes, but for the moment she's happy
One question, how do ponies text? I cannot think of a contraption for a phone that would allow pony hooves to text.
7847884 Well, the most used method is voice recognition software so you speak to the phone that turns it into text to send. The second method is a stylus, you do need good hoof / wing dexterity or magic to use this, but it is cheaper than voice recognition.
So that's it for this interlude?
7858877 Yes my friend. In a few weeks there will be the main book 3.
Cool I can't wait!
7931082 book 3 is out, enjoy!
I read this little side story awhile ago but it still hits me hard