- Member Since 8th Apr, 2014
- offline last seen Sep 29th, 2023
KillerChainsaw
I don't often write, but when I do it normally involves drama and/or NSFW content ;P
KillerChainsaw
Joined 8th Apr, 2014 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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KillerChainsaw · 15k words · 35 4 · 676 views
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I'd love to, but I was born already broken.
7413482
Same
Killerchainsaw ;)
7414723
And just what might they be?
KillerChainsaw ;)
Might i wish for another? XD
That was a really good read good job m8
7429019
Why thank you ever so much.
KillerChainsaw ;)
7426526
I do have a few ideas for a sequel to this, but if I do decide to do it, I probably won't have it done, until I've finished my main story ('Among The Pegasi'), sorry.
KillerChainsaw ;)
7429183 Cool XD i dont mind waiting :)
7429476
Glad to know.
KillerChainsaw ;)
I'm sorry to say I only got 1/4 of the way through this chapter before I had to give up.
This story seems like it could have a lot of potential and there those who like it, however for me it feels like you have fallen into the trap of "over detailing" your story. Several paragraphs were essentially about the same thing and in one you described Rainbows feelings 3 times.
There is a lot of "fluff", filler words that don't need to be there.
I don't dislike the story, I just wasn't able to read it because of the over detailing.
7432374
That's fine, I know I still have a lot to improve on, and over detailing is something of a habit of mine, since I don't want people to get confused about certain things (which paragraph was that I don't remember describing Rainbow's feelings 3 times at all)
Sorry I'm a real sucker for fluff, so I like to put quite a bit of it in my stories.
Again it's fine I know that not everyone will like my stories and I'm okay with that, thank you for commenting all the same and sharing your insight with me.
KillerChainsaw ;)
it's a Rarity to read a story like this... I like the perspective of Rarity being the more shy pony, as she is more elegant and posh. Good work on the details but I do like your dialogue the best
7436689
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it, and I always have liked Rarity being the more shy one at certain times.
KillerChainsaw ;)
I would have liked this to be a BSDM story. It was still good though.
7584287
Sorry that kind of writing isn't really my strong suit, but I'm glad you thought it was good anyway.
Thank you for commenting.
KillerChainsaw ;)