• Member Since 25th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen February 24th

Jewbacca


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Trying to look for Bill Williamson and Javier Escuella, John Marston seems to be down on his luck. Sick of the conflict he has to deal with in Mexico, and upset with his fruitless search, he goes back to the 'States to rest in Armadillo for a few days. But, when he thought he had time to rest, the con artist Nigel West Dickens comes through and tells him he found something. Dismayed that he will never be able to get to rest, he gives up and goes with the eccentric fellow on his coach to see that he has found a portal. But before they can react, it consumes them.

Now, a bounty hunter, a strange conman, and a stagecoach full of Patented Elixir are stuck in this strange new territory. How will these men do in this odd land with its citizens?

Additional Tag(s): [Comedic at Parts, but Generally Serious]

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 70 )
wat

Interesting...


"Even one with the fastest reflexes could’ve gotten out of the way of it"
huh?

A Red Dead crossover? Ooh, Imma gonna hafta track this.

[Edit]: This...this is pretty good. It's not the best story out there and it has a few spelling/grammar/syntax errors here and there, but it has some pretty good potential. I'm hesitant to agree with your choice of bringing Dickens in with Marston although he does offer the easiest way to set up the back story of them getting sent to Equestria. After reading the A/N I really want to see what would happen if Irish got sent through the portal? OH THE SHENANIGANS! All that said, I enjoyed this and I really would like to see more. Well done, keep up the good work, take your time, and no pressure - only the fate of the whole world rests on you making a good story. :rainbowlaugh:

Should have thrown Irish in the mix...

Besides that, it was a bit too rushed. Sorry to say and even I am confounded as to how one could possibly extend an opening like that.

Pretty good story. Dialoge easy to understand. My fellow you get a point for....stuff...

One of my favorite games with ponies, I'll be watching this one. :ajsmug:

The idea alone is brilliant. I will be expecting great things of you, amigo :pinkiehappy:

though it was fast paced, i enjoyed this story. imagining it in my head made it even more enjoyable. try to add a little more detail, wasn't sure where john and Nigel even appeared when they arrived in ponyville. please write more :pinkiehappy:

red dead redemption...bro you could make this story as shitty as possible, I'd still read it XD

Little fast but I'm sure you'll fix that.

1. Win.
2. Moar.
3. One thing I might work on is pacing. In the space of 2000 words, he's in Mexico, then Armadillo, then Dickens finds him, then he's in Equestria, then he's immediately found by everypony, introduced around, tells his life story, is taken to Twilight and hired to fight criminals.

Seriously, spread things out a mite.

Its kinda funny I was thinking of writing a crossover like this myself. Except John wouldve landed in Aaaaaahhhppplllleeeelllooossaaa. Still I am pretty excited to see where this goes.


Also John must ride Applejack:pinkiecrazy:

My only qualm is commas. You really have to look up the correct usage, since they seem to have been tossed all over the place.

768120

Oops, fixed :twilightblush:

768506
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768133

Sorry for the rushing, it was 10, 11, 12 o'clock at night. And I wanted to get it out of the way.

And Irish? Who knows? But I think I may throw that crazy, drunk bastard in there later in the story :scootangel:, I just don't like Seth, that guy creeped me the hell out. And I think that Marshal Leigh Johnson, or maybe Eli or Jonah may be in there. But I just want to keep things simple for now :derpytongue2:

769020
Then I'm gunna cut you up, peice by peice. Ha Ha Ha... til you put Seth in.:pinkiecrazy:

769346

I have no idea!
[/Medic]

I've been logging so, so many hours into RDR recently. And I decided that I should make it a fic, who knew it would get more favorites than Ridley in Ponyville in only a few hours :rainbowlaugh:?

God, yes. I sure hope this is the one good RDR crossover on this site that I've been lookign for since I beat the game.

768120>>769020
To me, it would make more sense if it said "Even someone with the fastest of reflexes couldn't have gotten out of the way of it."

Very good story so far! The only errors I saw where a few grammar mistakes and commas. I do admit it did feel rushed, but not too much to annoy me. Overall, good job! :pinkiehappy:

Why Manehatten, Canterlot, and Appleoosa, you ask?

Manehatten: Blackwater

Appleoosa: Armadillo

Canterlot: Well...I suppose, in a way, Escalera, because of the Royal Army, it may not be the whole resistance and asshole Mexican Army story, especially with Princess Celestia and Luna, but it's kind of like that. Ya' never know :P

And, not to mention, Ponyville is also going to be one of these places, except I haven't really found a match to a town in Red Dead Redemption yet :twilightsheepish:

776563
Ponyville=that starting farm place, i forgot the name :p

776737

Ah, yes, you must mean MacFarlane's Ranch :ajsmug:

Good job. I like it so far. ONTO THE NEXT CHAPTER!!

CONTINUE! :flutterrage: THIS IS AWESOME! :flutterrage: I'M :heart:ING THIS SO MUCH! :flutterrage: I THINK MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS BROKEN! :flutterrage::twilightoops:

It was a good chapter and an even better premise, but the whole thing could of been handled a little better. John is too much of a cool-headed guy to just pull out a gun on an innocent talking horse, also his sudden outbursts seem more suited to the tropes of your generic, adolescent, anime school du jour. But other than that it's good. Just wind the angst before it overpowers the whole thing.

781660

Heheh...sorry :twilightblush:

I'll try to avoid that in the future, not playing RDR in a while has made me a bit rusty, my brother pulling me from his Xbox 360 temporarily is not really helping in that sense (Not enough money/too lazy to make enough to afford my own system at the moment). So I'll try to avoid that kind of issue again...

"...also, I have no control over that portal, now anyone can find it, and enter it."

Hark, detect I a possible drunk blundering into yonder portal in the form of a nun-robbing Irishman? :trollestia:

Not bad, everything fits and is fairly believable. Except it feels like john talks too much, I mean it took some time in red dead for the dialogue to really paint a clear picture of the situation with john using vague allusions to stave off other's inquiries at first, then gradually expanding on the topic. Not so much tell my life story to everyone who's slightly interested. I thought the breakdown was sort of uncanny, but then I remembered he's in another dimension, vastly different from his own, his families life is in jeopardy and he isn't even in his booth to answer the daily double, not to mention it's filled with colorful talking ponies so I guess I can't really blame him. Also, no pinkie pie party? :pinkiecrazy: hope to see more expanding on john's relations with the mane six throughout his time spent in equestria.

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Very plausible reasoning for a breakdown, and that's what I intended while I was writing that.

Celestia's ignorance in the sense that she set up a portal and sent John to Equestria willingly without understanding of his background is understandable. The whole pointing-a-gun-at-Twilight's-head ordeal probably shouldn't happen again, as, like Top Gear Tony stated, John has more of a cool-headed personality, calm in most situations unless he's seriously pissed off. Thankfully, I'm able to use my brother's '360 again and I'm able to play Red Dead Redemption given I have enough time.

So, hopefully, I don't make many more mistakes in introduced characters' personalities :twilightsheepish:

784949

Could it be quite possible that ye Irishman perhaps stumbles into said portal and befriends another drunk of a magenta coloration? :ajsmug:

You'd be the second I've seen.

780759 You can hold down Shift to get lowercase letters...

789672

Yeah...I searched up more crossovers, and there's three or four others, but this one seems to be the most popular one...

So...I guess...:yay:?

776563 Have you thought of Ponyville to be like Chuparosa?

798172

Yeah...I suppose in a way it is...So, I assume the full list would be:

Manehatten = Blackwater

Ponyville = Chuparosa

Canterlot = Escalera

Appleoosa = Armadillo


788931

That was intended as a joke, my friend. :trollestia:

However, since Irish will most likely be put in here some time, for an 80th, 90th, or 100th favourite special, I would update a little side story with the nun-robbing drunk and Berry Punch, since they just click (Minus the nun-robbing aspect...) :twilightsmile:

princess celestia can rule my universe... All night, giggity. :yay::trollestia:

YYYYEEEESSSSS!!!!!! :yay::yay: You took my advice!!!!

You just received a promotion in awesomeness!!!

878850

So many people wanted to see him in there that I couldn't just pass it down. :ajsmug:

me ole' irish be here matey boy
I BESTOW UNTO YOU THY HOLY FN FAL OF WIN
3drt.com/3dm/guns/FN-Fal01.jpg

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