• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen 35 minutes ago

Thought Prism


Proud owner of eight commander decks, a bunch of anime DVDs, and a level 100 shiny Farfetch'd. Also writes horsewords.


T

Have you ever wondered where Pinkie gets her strange abilities from? Or what the deal is with everypony in her family having a 'sense'? How about why they can actually eat rocks? Read on, and you shall find that all these questions and more will be answered. For today, an untold history is revealed. It is a story of love... and other forces beyond comprehension.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Remember, thee/thou is actually the informal second-person pronoun. At the start, Elderberry should probably be using "you" with Brimstone. And then there's moments like "You'll hurt thyself!" Granted, it's clearly the diction to use, given how the modern Pies still employ it, but there are flubs here and there.

The doll scene was cute, but I hope Obsidian is careful with it. It is made of volcanic glass. Also, I quite like Paul, but I'm a sucker for amorphous, chaotic masses of flesh. :twilightsmile:

You could've introduced demonic clairvoyance earlier, perhaps an off-handed reference during the contract renegotiation. ("Look, Lord Sedah writes all of these out ahead of time. Do you know how much of a headache a clairvoyant gets when his predictions are wrong? And believe me, the last thing any of us want is to get him in a bad mood.")

Still in all, certainly an interesting way to explain the Pie family weirdness, including the sisters' extreme temperaments. After all, demons aren't exactly known for being pillars of emotional stability and restraint. I wonder if they still know about their Tartaran forebear.

I like the idea overall, it explains a lot of the pie family.
My only issue is, Everberry is the only one that speaks old English, while the rest speak modern. It is very confusing, and you should have kept it consistent. Considering that this story takes place in the past, they should speak old English.

8083228

Actually, I wrote this story such that all of the ponies spoke Old English, while the non-pony characters speak normally. I'm somewhat shocked you didn't notice. Glad you liked it, though!

8083370 Yes, I did catch on to that, but I am just saying, it would be easier on the reader to keep just one form of English. However, I do realize that some species( and human) speak differently depending on where they were raised as a kid, or live.
So, know that I have explained the obvious, ( to everyone, except me - till now) I want to say, you are clever, very clever.

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