• Member Since 28th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 25th, 2020

satyrnidae


east coast software dev

T
Source

It is 100 years after Cheerilee the vampony was first commissioned as a "correspondent" to the Royal Guard. Technology has advanced (due to a certain orange pony) and, in order to remain a secret, Cheerilee has been moving from town to town, changing her name and teaching at various schools. But after a job goes horribly wrong, it's up to her to find the next bearers of the elements of harmony, before it's too late.

In response to totallynotabrony's "Steal these stories!" post: Steal these stories!
Read the original stories here!
The Adventures of Vampire Cheerilee
The Night Shift

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 24 )

Hm, enchanted knife, or one made out of a metal that weakens her? Or is she just getting old? Questions, questions...

:rainbowkiss: Glad to see someone picking this up! Don't forget to email him, he'll want to see this whenever he gets back.

I like it and it has a lot of promise. But do not under any circumstance punish your readers by requiring them to read suplimentary source material.

I'll stay tuned for next time.

Interesting.:moustache:
Do continue. I shall observe.

Not bad. Just make sure you credit Totallynotabrony and even he would be proud.:derpytongue2:
love the pace and the plot so far. Keep up the good work. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Oh, good. More Vampire Cheers for the masses.

Very good first chapter just don't make cheerilee too soft. I liked the first stories alot because of how ruthless cheerilee was. Considering that this is a hundred years later it feels as if she should have grown even more so because of getting more used to killing. I hate stories with too "nice" vampires.

I blogged about it and a whole bunch of people will probably come flooding in. Now get writing!

918652
You call getting to read more vampire Cheerilee 'punishment?'

There must be something wrong with you.

1206149
Suggesting it is fine, but outright requiring someone to read supplementary source material is not only lazy writing, it's utterly shameless. Save for anthology works, there is literally no reason a setting can't stand on its own.

1206368 Well, this is a story based on another story. What you're saying is like trying to say that 'Children of the Jedi'

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Is understandable without first knowing who Mara Jade- Luke Skywalker's wife- is, and how she became Luke's wife. I actually know, because while there are gaps between books I have read, I have read where Jade makes her first appearance, I have read where they begin their relationship, and I have read a few others detailing their lives.

Books you'd have to read to get a slightly better grasp on CotJ:
img1.fantasticfiction.co.uk/images/n2/n13665.jpg
homework.never-ends.net/wp-content/uploads/Darkforcerising.jpg
covers.feedbooks.net/item/104837.jpg?size=large&t=1340012915

It's always good to have a background for something. :twilightangry2:

1206368
> Save for anthology works, there is literally no reason a setting can't stand on its own.
I'm pretty sure you don't mean "anthology", since an anthology is a collection of (mostly) unrelated short stories or poems. Usually, each piece in an anthology had been previously published on its own, too.

I think you mean "series", or similar. Which... Dark Operations is. It's currently the fifth story chronologically about totallynotabrony's Vampire Cheerliee, and the sixth story with her in it.

totallynotabrony wrote A Dream, where Cheerilee was turned (on accident) during the Changeling invasion of Canterlot. Then Cheerilee tries to learn how to deal with her vampirism in The Adventures of Vampire Cheerilee. She starts working for Luna in The Night Shift, and finally meets a real challenge (of several kinds) in Murder on the Mind. Luck of the Draw takes place 10 years later, and shows how Cheerliee has become accustomed to her new powers and the fact that she's a killer. And now we have Dark Operations by CenturionFox13 taking place 100 years in the future.

1275077
You're taking my words out of context. Look at my post again.

Anthologies take place in the same world, but have a tangential connection to each other at best. D.O. is a linear story with a defined series of events and characters that branch off of previous ideas, settings, characters, and traits. It is a sequel story, so should therefore acknowledge what came before it. Author's needs to establish settings and refresh people to those facts. D.O. doesn't. It automatically assumes readers know what they are getting into before they read.

Just because an author says it is a sequel and says I should read other works to understand what is going on, he or she has failed at telling their own story. It's a cheap tactic to use, especially if it's based after preexisting popular material. It's lazy writing, plane and simple.

1275152
While I won't argue that it's good for a story to be able to stand on its own, even if it's a sequel, I also disagree that it's required. If your intended audience is people who have read the previous stories in the series, you're able to develop the differences between your story and the previous ones more quickly, since you can assume a lot about what your readers know.

What you're asking is a lot like requiring every fimfiction writer to flesh out the Mane Six from ground zero. For a story on this site, you can safely assume that the reader knows what Twilight is like; you don't really need to spend three chapters developing her personality, and you don't really need to describe her appearance when she first shows up -- all of that assuming she appears and acts like she does in the show. If there are differences from canon, you can use canon as a starting point for your depiction of the character. The same can apply to a sequel, if you care more about the story being part of a series than being a standalone story.

Also, with regard to anthologies: many anthologies to not have stories that necessarily take place in the same world. As an example, The Twilight Zone is a TV anthology. The episodes are not connected in any way except for general theme. The only connection between the pieces of International Short Stories is that the stories are classics -- "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", "The Gold-Bug", "The Stolen Body", "A Piece of Bread", and "Zadig the Babylonian" are all in the anthology, and really have nothing to do with one another (the first two are both written by American authors and the last two are both French, but that's the extent of it).

1275207
That's not entirely correct. These ponies react in certain patterns and way. For instance, if the Mane 6 come across a mud puddle, Rarity would avoid it at all costs while Pinkie might end up playing in it. That one scene, without saying a word, clues you in on their personality traits. Rarity is self conscious and uppity while Pinkie is playful.

These ponies act and react in certain manners and one always needs to set ground rules. Does a person need to start from the ground up? Of course not, but they need to have A start. Now take D.O. How did Cherilee become a vampire? Did she want to? Was it forced on her? Does she like drinking blood? Why does she work for the crown? How long? Why doesn't she stay teaching in Ponyville? What's with her shift in personality traits? Why is she comfortable with killing?

The other stories explain those questions, where here it just points to other stories and tells you to read them. Why should I care where Cherilee as a character is going if I don't know where she started from. Even if it's something small like a dream, a photo, a phone call, SOMETHING needs to occur to fill in people what has happened to her. There is nothing but a complete void explaining Cherilee's character here. She's a vampire that works for the crown. How? Why? When? These need to be answered.

1275250
I understand where you're coming from, but I'd also like to point out that this story only has one chapter so far. If I had come across this story without reading the others, I would assume it was written in medias res, and give it a chance to build itself up to where it began. The questions you're asking don't necessarily need to be answered before the story's plot begins.

1275260
Which is why I only gave him a warning.

I like it and it has a lot of promise. But do not under any circumstance punish your readers by requiring them to read suplimentary source material.

I'll stay tuned for next time.

gonna call it now, that knife was made of silver.

25th of June was the last update, today is the 24th of September. If you are going to try writing one of my favorite series then could you at least update once in awhile :applejackunsure:

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