• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Friday

The Boss


"I could not help feeling that they were evil things-- mountains of madness whose farther slopes looked out over some accursed ultimate abyss." - H.P. Lovecraft, At The Mountains of Madness

T

After seven years, Shield Dasher is back on Equestrian Soil. Seven years since he left without saying goodbye to his adoptive parents, and his sister. Rainbow Dash. Now he returns, wounded and scarred from battles won long ago, to make up for the time he lost and the time he has left.

But all is not as peaceful as it seems, will our hero be forced back into the breach.

Most likely...

(Well, I've never had a story featured before. This is a nice feeling. Thanks guys, you're the best.)

Now with more Action!

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 143 )

Wow. This has already gripped me.
I eagerly await more. :twilightsmile:

It'd be very interesting to see a story of this. Him adjusting to normal life and such :3

Good story nonetheless :3

A smile crossed Shield’s lip, the same smile he had had when he would play with her and she would do something absolutely adorable.

He could tell she was crying, and he was close to following her.

“You’re alive…” She repeated the phrase over and over again,

“Shh shh shh, it’s okay Dashie. I’m home now.”

media.pinkiedb.com/photos/GIF/1cb.gif

Laugh or you had my curiosity but now you have my full undivided attention

So is Rainbow not biologically related to Shield? Or are they both adopted?

3492299

He was adopted by rainbow Dash's parents before she was born. It will be explained more in depth later on

You bastard

I thought I had ran out of feels long ago

In the wise words of my good fr-
Screw that.
MOAR STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORYYYYYY

I am wholly intrigued!

Ze story amuses me.:raritystarry:
Make moar, it's gettin' epic

I shall wait for the next chapter with patience.:pinkiehappy:

“seven years, seven long, lonely years. Shield began to cry, realising the gravity of his own words. “I’m home, for good.”
What you have written is excellent, however this is where the story starts. I would like to add my voice to those that want you to continue this story. Shields adjustment to civilian life could make for an epic story.

Interesting. Very interesting.

I just read the discription and I'm already hyped up, let you know what I think :rainbowwild: ~Alex~Shadowblades

okay that was a really good chapter, I liked the way you manged to characterize many ponies so early on in the chapter. I can tell that the Apple family isn't going to take a liking to him though :ajbemused:

Anyway this fic was very well thought out :twilightsmile: may need a proof reader... though thats my own opinoin some things were a little too discritpive and the pacing for said discriptions was a little fast, but still nothing to be too worried about.

A really good fic btw just amazing, I'm so looking forward for whats to come wish you all the best :scootangel: ~Alex~Shadowblades

Oh you must continue this story!! It would be a crime not to. Think of all the world building and character development this could bring about: Why was Shield in war? who were his friends? who was the enemy? And just think of where you could take this with Dash! You have talent my friend. Here's hoping to many more submissions. :eeyup:

Really like this idea and I think expanding upon it worthwhile as There are many character traits and features to play with. My only recommendation if you do so would to take your time and flesh scenes out a bit more. I would also like it to become a romance, but hey, it is your story! :pinkiehappy:

This is interesting, looking forward to seeing where this will go if you do continue it.

Also it looks like you missed capitalizing Shield's name once:

said shield, taking in the moving tails of the fish.

a happy ending.a heartwarming story.hooves up.

This has very good potential. You have an interesting character who has to struggle with his past to adjust. You also have a character who doesn't show much respect for royalty if "Sunny" is who I think it is. Good fun conflict can result from that. :)

3497756 Would you care for her if you were at war for seven years? I know I wouldn't, even with myself being a person of honour.

3498026
Knowing myself, I'd probably not be happy. Although there are a few factors, such as why we're at war, the stakes of the war, how brutal the fighting is, and why I couldn't have gone home earlier, that would ultimately determine how much respect or hate I have for the person who sent me to war. Then again, 7 years is a life time on the battlefield

You should definitely turn this into an actual story instead of a one shot.
I hope you update it soon!!! :D
Furthermore, what kind of pony is Shield, is he Earth, Pegasus or Unicorn?
You never mentioned.

3493323
Hell yes!
I AGREEEEE!
MORE STORYYY!

Really great story, *music plays, starts crying* goddammit. Seriously though, that was amazing and the music fit so well. :pinkiesmile:

I haven't cried since I was 8, feels good to. Thanks for making me feel human again.

Comment posted by GammaG3 deleted Nov 17th, 2013

Allright. Just a few mistakes I saw.

“Howdy! Interested in buying an apple family apple?” She asked, the stallion looked at the apples and nodded.

“Yes, ma’am. I think I would. I’ll take a red and delicious if that would be alright?” He asked, the mare nodded.

Should be Apple family apple and Red Delicious. Names are always capitalized and Red Delicious is the actual name of the apple, not just the description. :twilightsmile:

I better see more chapter because this story is more than amazing. So many feels and probably more to :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

That was such a sweet story. I wanna see more. :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

3594659

Working on it as we speak.

how do i get the dogtag on bf4?

IT LIVES!!! :D
Man, I can't wait to see what happens next, keep it up please! :)

I LIKE.
VERY MUCH.

I love the idea of dog tags. Heck, it can be used in a number of ways to advance a story.
I can't wait for more, I was sitting here yesterday wondering about this story.:twilightsmile:

This chapter, I like it....:ajsmug:

ANOTHER!:flutterrage:

excellent story couple of nit picks. [ grinded ] (ground),
[rouge] (rogue) everyone seems to do this one.
Dog tag is a nice touch.

This Is GREAT!!!!
MOAR!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage:

Hey bud, like this story and the direction it's going. Wish there was more!

Any possibility on some romance?

I can just see Shining Armour getting punched when he and Shield meet. Because from the way it seems, Shield really doesn't like him.

3742264
Damn it, said it be4 I could.

3742651

idk, right now I think Shield's more interested in making up time with RD, maybe later though...

Sweet, old army vet teacher, this is gonna be good.
Maybe he can help Cherrilee with some of her classes.
I bet he wont take any of Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara's shit either, I can't wait to see him start teaching class. :D

3743229
I hate to admit it but I do like to see some romance in this but that's not the point of the story so yeah, stick with what your planning at the moment.

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