That's Your Downfall
A breeze wandered throughout the land, wafting by the pink clouds, the chocolate puddles, and many more things the land had at once held. Now, however, they were diminishing. The clouds were fewer in number than they had been fifteen years ago. The ponies have given up their multi-colored homes for ones that were more civil. To the creature that watched it all, it was horrifying.
Lord Discord sat upon his throne, looking on at the land before him. He let out a small yawn as he noticed the smaller amounts of cotton candy clouds and chocolate rain. Bags reigned supreme under his eyes. He deeply breathed in before letting it all out of his nostrils.
“Discord!” a furious voice shouted out. “Face us like a true leader should!”
He stifled a laugh. Some leader you turned out to be, he silently thought. Destroying my em-pie-or... He stood up from his throne before spreading his mismatched wings. Red velvet curtains shot to the side as he put on a top hat. “Welcome to the show, Celestia!” He grinned, tipping his top hat. “It’s absolutely wonderful to see you again!”
Celestia, accompanied by her younger sister, snorted. “Discord!” she spat out. “Your tyranny has come to an end! You’ve tortured these ponies for years! Your time has come, you monster!”
Discord clicked his tongue condescendingly. “My, my… The ruler of Equestria has now come for my em-pie-or.” He floated over to her before smirking. “Geez, you’d think that you’d send in the hoof soldiers first.”
Her scowl deepened. “I did.”
“Oh yes! You did, didn’t you?” He swam—through the air—over to a large pile of junk. “Now… where did I put them?” He started throwing random objects behind him as he shifted through it. Every item he saw, he’d hold it up to his face, inspecting it, but then throwing it behind him.
Celestia stomped a hoof onto the ground, cracking the tiled floor. “Discord! We are not amused by this! We wish for you to surrender this land and your playthings now!”
Discord laughed once more. “Celestia, don’t you know? I’m not a tyrant! I’m just a simple ruler! My subjects love me!” He pulled up a pink mare. “Aren’t I the bestest ruler ever?”
The mare smiled and nodded. “Y-yes, milord!”
“See, Celestia? It’s all a mat—”
“She’s obviously scared of you!” Luna glared his way. “You have no empathy with your subjects!”
Discord, after putting the mare down, laughed a deep, hearty laugh. “Y-you really think that, don’t you?”
His two adversaries continued glaring at him.
“Y-you do!” His laugh only deepened. “That’s simply hilarious!”
“Discord—” Celestia took a step forward “—you’ve tortured these poor ponies. You make them your playthings. You destroy their dreams. You are not a tyrant; you are a monster.”
“Celestia, things aren’t like that here. You see, I only do that to the criminals. In fact, it works out perfectly for me. Crime rate has really gone down here! Maybe you should try it—”
A golden beam shot forward, destroying his plush throne. “We do not want to hear your explanation, Discord! We want justice!”
Discord shrugged. “Then just take it.” Ice materialized in his palm before he threw it at them.
The ice hit Celestia in the face, but her scowl remained true, which was horrible because they were ignoring his glorious pun. “Discord… you have violated our laws. You’re treating these ponies horribly! You’re the Element of Laughter! You shouldn’t be doing this to ponies! You’re dictating their lives! You’re—”
Discord laughed once more. This time, it took him a full minute to stop. “Celestia, I get that you’re the Element of Kindness and all, but this isn’t your kingdom to run. It’s mine. I decide of what I do. Not you. You did this to Sombra too.” Discord sat back down on his now-recreated throne. “You see, you just keep betraying your friends. Who’s next? Your own sister?”
Luna took her own step forward. “She would never do such a thing! I am loyal to her! She has no reason to do such a thing to me! Cease your accusations!”
He smirked once more. “Why should I? You were the ones to banish the Element of Generosity to the icy depths of the north!”
“He was corrupted, Discord!”
“And you couldn’t have reformed him?” Discord shot back.
Silence filled the air, and it remained stagnant for minutes.
“Celestia, this is not the way. You cannot control how others are. You cannot control other ponies’ lives. You think you can, but it’s as wrong as me.” Discord sighed, bringing up a cold glass of chocolate milk.
“I don’t want to.” Celestia took another step forward, flaring out her wings and puffing out her chest. “I do not want to control these poor ponies’ lives. All I want is to make this world peaceful. I don’t want for tyrants like you to rule. I should have never let Starswirl assign you your position.”
“He would’ve done it regardless of what you said. Celestia, you are controlling. And that is your downfall. You think everyone and everything should go along to your views of right and wrong, but that’s not how the world works!”
“Regardless of what I think, what you have done is wrong, Discord!” She snarled before opening up her saddlebags. “This is what you deserve! This is all you deserve!” Six magical crystals floated out of the bag and around Celestia and Luna.
He stood up and laughed. “Celestia! You crack me up! I understand that you think I’m being evil, but that’s taking it a step too far!”
“No, you took it a step too far, Discord. You’re destroying these poor ponies’ dreams. Yes, I did kill Sombra, but he was like you. He deserved it. He enslaved his subjects.”
“But did the Crystal Empire deserve to be destroyed? What will happen to my land once you destroy me? Will it also be destroyed? Vanished to the far reaches of time?” He blinked before snapping his fingers. “My subjects are now gone, Celestia. Safe from you. Do what you want with me. There won’t be any other way to control your dominance fetish.”
Celestia and Luna rose into the air, the magical gems spinning around them.
Discord laughed. “You think that you’re so much, Celestia! You think that you’re one in a million! But, the truth is, you’re just another pony in time. You’re controlling, Celestia. And, one day, you’ll find out that is what will destroy you.”
The gems sped up.
Discord reared back in laughter.
A rainbow from the gems shot upward.
He just continued laughing.
The beam shot down, and it hit him directly.
Slowly, his body turned to stone, but he did not budge. Discord continued laughing. He did not care about the world. His subjects were safe, his land would be destroyed, and he’d be whisked away to a different time. He had nothing to complain about.
Maybe, just maybe, Celestia would realize how young and naïve she was.
Eventually, what stood in Discord’s place was a perfect representation of him in stone. Ages would pass, and he would remain. Discord: the being who questioned Celestia. The being who would help her realize how she truly was. The being who once ruled the Badlands.
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Sorry for posting a link, but I need to get this off my chest.
I don't care if I get banned, just please read this.
I'm very sorry for posting this link, you're story was very good.
There's that penis again.
7049192 I forgot. Did we meet before?
Interesting little tale. Discord as the Element of Laughter? Well, if he toned it down by a factor of fifty.
7050946 That was just based on an old headcanon I once heard. If I recall correctly, Sombra was Generosity, Celestia was Kindness, Luna was Loyalty, Discord was Laughter, and Starswirl was Magic. However, I cannot remember who Honesty was. Anyway, I just liked the idea of it. I mean, it's like two old friends that are coming face-to-face before one kills the other. It's... an interesting concept to me.
7051003 Honesty= Chrysalis?
Anywho, I like this story. The fact they have all 6 elements implies this is the end of a bigger story. I would be interesting to see the other fights.
You know, this was pretty much the exact premise of a story I keep trying to write, 6 rulers, start infighting, and the elements are created once the first ruler was killed.
Anyway, this was an amazing oneshot.
Ah more Tyranlestia
7049142
7051348 I might do a bigger story in this universe. It just depends on how interesting I think I could make it.
Also, I don't think Chrysalis would be Honesty. I just honestly can't see it. Maybe some OC that no one really knows of or something. I dunno
7053074 I don't really think of her as a tyrant in this universe. At least, she's not in my opinion. I see her more as a young ruler who's making mistakes. If I go along with my mini-headcanon for this 'verse, she's pretty much a complete newbie when it comes to ruling. She ascended to an alicorn because of X reason. Before that, she was just a simple pony. (Most likely a unicorn.) She thinks that everything should go along to her own views of right and wrong, which isn't how the world works. To be honest, her character is quite complicated in this sense.
7053994 Well, considering that each of the former bearers are corrupted, what better corruption of honesty than a changeling? Hell make it start as a secret police deal. "You cant have dishonesty if you have no secrets" and whatnot.
7054735 Ooh, that's actually a good idea.
This is why you and I need to talk moreHowever, I still don't think it'll be Chrysalis, for I'm not completely sure my headcanon is that she's immortal. Maybe another changepone, though...GIANT blue penis I'm sport had to say that
7056362 'sorry'
7056362 I'll have you know that it's a wing! Well, were a wing connects to his back. Same difference.
Please make this a full story! It's too good to let it die here!
7059616 I'm actually really considering it. I just need to come up with a good enough plot for the story. Gimme a bit
7060177 kk. Look forward to it!
7057131 Im sorry but there was a story about this picture and I'm just remembering it
7064742 I know. I just felt that it fit my story well. Bleh... I'm never gonna live this down...
7065027 yup
Well, reading this reminded me of the great benefits writers enjoy about fan fiction: You are allowed to assume that the reader knows what/who you are talking about and thus avoid lengthy details describing them.
But setting that aside, (I think all are guilty on that front, including me) I think you have written a wonderful piece here. You have set up a showdown of the most powerful beings in this universe and defined how they were all interconnected by the Elements of Harmony. An interesting premise!
Also, you alluded to the fallibility of Celestia - and the fandom knows that at least one more Element (Luna) will become corrupted and have to be dealt with severely by Celestia - which punctures the aura of the perfect ruler that the show portrays.
However, some of the areas I wish you had defined more in your story is; did Celestia cause the wasting away of her territory till they became badlands? If so, was wasting away this a result of her 'controlling' nature?
A bit about Celestia's thoughts, perhaps shared with Luna would have been nice. It would have answered the question of how much this conversation truly effected Celestia? Or was just seeds planted in her mind but, it would take Luna's fall to force a change in Celestia?
Perhaps you preferred to leave these questions open for the reader. My opinion is that this story could be better with more detail given to these points, and to some of the action areas that I didn't address here. I hope you revisit this someday and flesh it out. I think it's worth the extra time.
7293402
Personally, I feel as if the reader already knows the character, then why should the author waste words describing then detail by detail? To each their own, though
Thank you. You make me blush.
To be honest, I never really thought about that. However, now that I think about it, I'd say that it is her fault, yet also her ponies' fault. As you and I both know, much of Equestria "natural" elements (things that happen naturally here on Earth) are controlled by ponies. Now, what would happen if a place like that suddenly stops being directed by ponies? We'd either get another Everfree or something like the Badlands. However, the Everfree would be an exception because of the dark magic released there by Nightmare Moon and the simple magical power of the Tree of Harmony. So, with that said, this could mean that if no dark magic was used, like how the battle between Discord and the princesses was, then a land that suddenly stops receiving the help it gets from ponies, it could become a barren wasteland like how the Badlands are now. Now, onto Celestia's controlling nature, there's a good chance that she denies entree to the Badlands for her subjects because of, well, it's where they had their confrontation with Discord. She could think there could be lingering chaos magic there. Therefore, she banned travel to it. (Wow, I actually really like that whole idea...)
I got a few words for this one: there's gonna be a sequel (and it's coming soon...)
I'm really considering it. Maybe once I finish the sequel and it goes in for editing. So... Soon I guess.
Anyway, sorry for getting back to you so late on this, and thank you for the comment. I'm extremely happy that you enjoyed the story. I hope to see you again in the comment section of the sequel.
7308810
Because you can still give the reader valuable information.
For instance, I am going to describe three tall ponies entering a room.
A tall pony marched into the room, tall like a larger than life statue. And she was white, marble white. The kind of white you expect to see on monuments to idealized heroes. Only this idealized marble hero wasn't carved of mere stone, for stone never inspired fear as she did.
A tall pony flowed into the room, coat as white as a fluffy cloud. Her pastel mane of spring colors danced from the top of her head until it nearly swept the floor. Fruity pink, meadow green, sky blue and floral lavender floated joyfully around her in breezes that affected nopony else. It was as though the season of spring itself originated from her and permeated the world around her.
A tall pony entered and immediately dominated the room. From her head, a gleaming, polished gold tiara shone so brightly that some ponies had to squint, or wince. Around her slender white neck an impressive polished gold torque covered her entire chest like a breastplate made from the sun. Her hooves were even ensconced in pure gold. It was like even her hooves were too royal to touch the floor.
Obviously, all three tall ponies are Celestia. I didn't go bit by bit and describe every detail. There is no need for that. But you can concentrate on what qualities she has that you want to highlight to help you set the tone for your scene, and yet still tell the fans that it is Celestia, describe her to the uninitiated, and by choice of verbs and adjectives, you can add to the feeling.
In the first example, I tried to set up like a military leader. She marches in, and her coat is marble white. Then, because I want to emphasize her impressiveness, I said: she is tall, larger than life. From this, you can expect Celestia to be severe, blunt, and strictly business.
In the second, it is easy to imagine that the room she just entered is a greenhouse, or an atrium. She flows in. Her coat is white as a fluffy cloud. Then because I want to emphasize her beauty and spring goddess-like qualities I described her mane: "Fruity pink, meadow green, sky blue and floral lavender..." You can expect Celestia to be gentle and loving, soft-spoken and motherly.
In the third, I imagined a throne room. This is Princess Celestia! And she is on her home turf. She enters and dominates the room. There is no need to describe grace here, or flowing manes. Not when what I want is to emphasize her royalty, and that is done by her accouterments: a gleaming, polished gold tiara, impressive polished gold torque covered her entire chest like a breastplate made from the sun, and hooves ensconced in pure gold. But I didn't just describe her jewelery, I mentioned "...her slender white neck..."
So in every example I described a "tall white pony", but every example has a vastly different feel and tone. And you can expect Celestia to act very differently in every example. So I do feel that descriptions are important, even with established characters.
Discord made a very interesting point there, I'm not a fan of him but this actually makes you think and question Celestia's way of things as well. Very interesting Stahl.
You put an interesting spin on the events of the show, and I honestly kind of like it.
You also got Discord's character right, which is impressive, considering that he's actually a very difficult character. His "The Reason You Suck" speech to Celestia is pretty well-done. You've impressed me. Have a thumbs up.
Discord is a gigantic hypocrite. He says it's wrong to be controlling of others' lives, but that's exactly what he's doing by torturing them to amuse himself.
He's a liar, and he's being evil, and the fact that he doesn't admit to it doesn't change it.
7053679
Exactly, a big giant blue d*** in the pic.
You can has review!