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A Fallen London/Sunless Sea crossover
Twilight wished to know the secrets written on the wall so the bats took her someplace she could. A city of a thousand stories by a dark sea where secrets are cheap and souls cheaper. Now all she wants to do is go home, but what is the price she'll have to pay? What madness will she face in her quest to find her way back home. Even if it means losing herself to the madness of the Neath.
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Well this was a surprising crossover to find, but a welcome one. I don't read many stories any more, but I had to make an exception for this. I was extremely worried going in that it was going to be bad, and while I'm usually proven completely right, this is one of the rare occasions where I'm relieved to say I was totally wrong. This story is great so far, it captures the enigmatic and unreal feel of the games perfectly. It's not perfect, there's the occasional misspelt word, but mostly the problems relate to punctuation, there are many sentences which would benefit from commas to break them up, so they don't run on as much and jumble together. Even saying that, a few lines and pieces of imagery are nothing short of beautiful in how they're written, and I really don't say that lightly. So I'm favouriting this and hoping it continues to meet the high standard you've already set
7008527
Oh fudge doodles! I missed stuff when I was editing didn't I?
I can't wait to see what you have planned with this crossover! I do hope that you, delicious friend, do have a fun time writing this.
not bad, hoss
7008909
it's impossible to get them all
This is quite promising. Please continue. :)
I love the game and I am relay liking this story. pleas continue.
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I'm glad your enjoying the story thus far.
7104102
Oh I will continue
The next chapter is written and is currently out for edits. Expect release sometime within the next
few days! (Make that a little longer, my editor is busy with life.) Hopefully it's up to par with the rest... I don't aim to disappoint.I like the premise of this story, I can not wait to see where you head with it. Hope to see more soon
The story has promise, and you tell a good narrative. Very descriptive yet to the point where it does not truly slow the plot The minor typos here and there are noticeable but easy to read past without any real irk.
The only real problem I see is that it feels like you repeat yourself a little too much, reusing the same word or phrase in the span of a single sentence or in two sentences back to back. Don't be afraid to use more pronouns.
A reckoning cannot be postponed indefinably.
Man, only Twilight got transported to the Unterzee? I was kind of hoping the story would be about how Canterlot or Ponyville were targeted by the Bazaar and the Masters to become the Sixth City. Oh well, this will serve perfectly fine. To zee! And mind the sun!
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I did toy with that idea but decided on this one. Mostly because I had a more solid story idea.
Maybe someone else will write that story... actually I hope so because there needs to be more crossovers with this serries.
Still dying for the next chapter.
7370468
Life has been busy... and I have been lazy.
I know I need to get back to writing!!
Very interesting and rather well written. A few spelling errors here and there but they're rather minor. I hope this is continued soon!
7505314
I'm working on the next chapter now. No ETA though sooo... But just know it's in the works now.
Is Fallen London/Sunless Sea a video game or a book?
Why is Twilight so appalled by violence? She's never backed down from a fight in the show. Aside from the dragons and then one episode, but only because she didn't think she could win.
Plus she's seen the town destroyed a few times, which would be a lot more troubling then two guys getting thwacked on the head.
7678818
They're games. Check them out, they're awesome!
UPDATE! :D
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Keep in mind that Twilight thought that O'Moony had KILLED those three men.
There's a big difference between the violence she's seen in Equestria and the violence she just witnessed here. For one pretty much all the fights she got into in Equestria only ended in some minor scrapes and bruises and no one getting killed or seriously hurt.
Kinda picture the difference between a schoolyard fight between some kids that might end in some scrapes, bruises, and maybe a bloody nose if was particularly bad and a full on fight on the street between adults that ends in people seriously injured or even dead.
As for the events in this story; Mr. O'Moony attacked someone who was already down in a quite violent manner. It's a clear difference between the level of violence that Twilight has seen and been apart of. Keeping in mind that this story is set before she became an alicorn and so she never fought Tirek. (who was one of the most violent adversaries she ever faced... and even he didn't kill anyone.)
7678818
Fallen London is a free browser based game somewhat like a text adventure almost where you control your character and explore the city Fallen London playing though storylits and such. It's also available on mobile as an app.
Sunless Sea is a rogue-like game of captioning a steamship on the titular Sunless Sea. Explore, trade, fight, go crazy and eat your crew. Available on Steam and GOG.
If you like a story heavy atmospheric text game I'd recommend checking out Fallen London. If you're not into that kind of game and but still want to immerse yourself in the lore and world check out Sunless Sea.
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It would still seem a little strange for her to be so completely innocent of that sort of activity, given that she was probably being groomed from an early age to be a ruler, and she would have to be mentally able to handle that sort of thing. After all it would shake the faith of her subjects if she was so horribly distraught by that alone.
But if this is your interpretation of her character then by all means keep using it, I would just say that her reaction was still a little over-the-top.
Had to read it as I found it wile zailing the zee (and was promptly killed by a boundshark)
7678818 and it has a song done by Dan Bull
It's alive!!!
Now how would she somehow bloody know the Traitor Empress' name, eh?
Also, you're spot on with the Londoners' talk. Needs more exclamations of "blimey," I'd suggest.
Oh boy. Are you thinking of taking her down the plotlines of the games?
(I can't wait for Sunless Skies)
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To be fair Twilight doesn't know the name. And using the Victorian descriptor was just the easiest way to describe the look of the buildings without going into extreme detail on the design of the buildings. (I could have called it Neigh-torian but that pun is to tortured.)
But yes I admit that outright saying 'Victorian' might have been a little bit wrong since I am writing the story in such a fashion that the narration only shows as much as Twilight knows...
Also hello new reader!
7867260
To take her down the plot line of the games would take a loooong time... there's so much. So... yes and no? She'll be experiencing bits and pieces of the world but I am not going to go though every possible thing you can do in the games as that would mean I'd be writing this story forever and never actually get to the second part of the story.
Which reminds me that I should listen to the voice in my head yelling at me to write the next chapter now...
Cheats get beat...
was about to say, im pretty sure echoes are worth quite a bit more than a single mushroom. like, a lot more.
Threatening is all good and dandy... except in this version of our world. After all, what good is threatening when people don't want to stay dead?
7934612 its all about status, they may not be dead but their bodies still stink, and who would want to deal with a stinking walking corpse?
7935572
Usually they'd get shipped off to Venderbight before the smell got to bad.
7935636 i would bet a desperate few would use a lot of makeup and perfume to prevent that as much as possible
though now im looking forward to twilights first encounter with a tomb colonist
Twilight better learn how much an echo is worth down here pretty quick. Maybe she could work as the headlamp of a ship later, eh?
Hmm, I have to wonder what Twilight would think of the Jovial Contrarian. Probably lots of frustration.
Oh much like whut that collector has
Until this chapter, for me this was a story I was interested in but not sure I wanted to commit to yet.
Then those last few lines happens, that was great.
Please tell me this isn't dead...
8301804
It's not dead I'm just working on some other stuff right now... sorry.
8303428
That's a relief! Hope you're able to get back to this at some point.
Source on that cover art?
9267530
https://www.deviantart.com/akurion/art/I-Saw-Your-Ship-528064421
Hope everything’s going good my dude
May all manner of things be well
Mor plz? Is good.
I wonder what she'll do?
Benthic would be welcoming, possibly too welcoming.
She could go work for the rats under The Blind Helmsman, they don't judge even if they're pretty touchy.
11478678
From beyond the dark veil of reality, I have been called!
...don't know if I will ever return to this story. I haven't written for it for years. I've been out of the fandom proper a long time now. Haven't even played Fallen London or Sunless sea in years.
Maybe one day I will return to this if the inspiration hits. I am actually sitting on a mostly completed chapter I never released. If I did return I don't think I'll ever finish it how I wanted to... maybe just finish up the first arc of the story so at least there is some closure. But I do not know.