Small Dragons, Big Hearts: Unity is Power: S1E01—In a world where every pony is a dragon, every dragon is a pony, and all genders are reversed, even the most well-known stories of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic can turn out far differently. Join Nightfall Sheen and Wishful Legend—the counterparts to Twilight Sparkle and Spike—to find out just how much of a difference swapping genders and race really makes, even in the story that started it all.
Cover art by: Sakura (Note: Though this is the final product, there are a few things slightly off about the image (namely the headfins, the Royal Brothers' Skill Emblems being on their hips instead of on the tip of the tail, and Prism Slash missing his indigo stripes), but it's still really good, and was well worth the wait. I may ask for an improved version some time down the road, but I think I'll give the artist a break for now. She deserves one after all that hard work.)
Edited by: Brasta Septim, Darksonickiller
Proofreader and supporting author: Brasta Septim
Music composed by: Brasta Septim
I don't believe I've ever seen a story like this take such a strong divergence from the norm. This will be interesting.
6859222 Why thank you. I've shown the fic to a few others prior to posting, and I've been told that one of its strengths is that it does things so differently, yet still keeps to the general path of the story it's based on. All the chapters are already complete, but the second half still needs editing done on it. It doesn't flow as well as the first half does.
Pretty interesting set up so far.
If the main cast were voiced, what would they sound like?
6859456 Hmm... Well, try the voice actors for the YouTube audio drama for On a Cross and Arrow to get a bit of an idea. Not exactly the same as the voices they're given there, but pretty darn close for most of them. Except AJ's male dragon counterpart sounds more like Braeburn than Big Mac, Wishful's voice is far less airy and more girly than Spines' voice was (seriously, Spines' voice was a tad husky and airy in that audio drama), and Lumin sounds nothing like Solaris (Solaris' voice is too deep to fit Lumin. A voice like that would work for King Bahamut, but not Lord Lumin). Lumin's voice is more of a rich baritone than a bass.
so is wishful ( spike ) still have the same relationship with Nightfall ( twilight ) sh does in the show?
how did wishful endup with nightfall?
6860365 Well, not exactly the same relationship. Their kind of relationship is revealed in Chapter 3 (which is the last chapter that's fully edited. All chapters are written, but 4-6 are way too stiff to post), so I'm not going to spoil it. However, here are two hints: 1: There's no romance tag. 2: Wishful has been raised by Nightfall for nine years, ever since he was nine, himself. Lumin had him start caring for her when she was two years old to add to his studies.
As for how they first met, it's actually quite similar to Twilight's first encounter with Spike. Ponies work a bit differently in this universe. Ponies are wandering nomads who are very disorganized and few in number. In the distant past, ponies sought help from the dragons to avoid extinction, and the dragons used the magic of various dragon tribes to alter the way ponies are born in this world: foals are born in a stasis state where they don't age, don't need nourishment, only sleep, and are completely indestructible. The only two ways to break this stasis state is for either a pony to decide to settle down in one place long enough to raise the foal into an adult, or for powerful dragon magic to be used to break the stasis state. Just like how Twilight had to hatch Spike's dragon egg, Nightfall had to break Wishful out of stasis, but his situation was different: his parents saw how gifted he was at the age of seven and tried to enroll him in Lumin's Academy of Magic, which had a minimum acceptance age of 10 years old. The headmistress of the Academy tried to prove a point by having the young Dragonling do what she was certain to be impossible for a seven-year-old, no matter how powerful. Nightfall proved her wrong by waking the foal up, but also turned his parents to stone by accident and transformed the newborn into a fully-grown Alicorn mare, grabbing Lumin's attention, who rushed to the scene to fix the situation. And the rest is history. Nightfall earned his Skill Emblem, was admitted three years early, became Lumin's personal student a year later, then started raising Wishful a year after that.
Yes! A dragon filled OC story! At last! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
6862428 You won't have to wait long! Chapter 2 will be posted tomorrow morning! (In Mountain time, at least. That's GMT -7) Normally, I don't post two chapters so close together because that's what doomed my very first fic on here to be stuck on hiatus for over a year: I got so excited with every chapter I wrote that I ended up posting all my chapters so close together that when writer's block set in, I had no reserve chapters to fall back on to keep me going. This time, however, all the chapters are complete already (well, the second half of the fic needs some finishing touches, first. The chapters in the second half are pretty stiff and don't flow very well, unlike the fluidity demonstrated by chapter 1, here), so I don't have to worry about running out of chapters, for all of them are written! Chapter 3 won't come out until Thursday next week, though. I'm mainly posting Chapter 2 early because I got screwed over by the fic submission system. It got stuck in the queue because a lot of fics were apparently submitted at the same time, and after a 24-hour wait, the entire queue got posted to the site in rapid succession, and this fic just happened to miss the new fics section of the front page entirely, barely getting noticed at all until I started putting it in groups, and even then, attracting readers has been quite difficult. I feel a bit of time in the recently updated section of the front page should help, though.
I'm confused but pretty interested. Though the names are a bit of a mouthful; i mean your parents must be really awful if they named you Nightfall Sheen or Wishful Legend. Though I'm probably just not used to them, Twilight Sparkle isn't actually a short name.
Before i favorite this i want to know more about the story so I'll be faithfully waiting for the next chapter.
Also I didn't now Dragonelle was another suitable term to refer to a female dragon that's cool.
6863889 Well, to be accurate, a dragonelle is usually an adolescent female dragon. In this universe, all four stages of development are split into gender terms: Male infants are Hatchlings while females are Hatchlettes, males who aren't babies anymore but aren't teens yet are called Dragonlings while females are called Dragonettes, then male teens are called Dragonocks while females are Dragonelles, then adult males are Dragoons while females are Dragonesses. (I wasn't going to call the adult male a drake because in this universe, Drakes are an aquatic minor dragon tribe, not a gender term. My only two real choices that I could find was the French "Dragoon" and the Greek "Drakkon", but I chose Dragoon partially so the phrase referring to the legend of Midnight Darkscales would rhyme, hence "Dragoon in the Moon").
As for the names, Wishful was named by Lumin, and seeing as he's the third oldest dragon alive (only his parents are older, and they're currently absent), he's been around long enough to become an expert on pony names, regardless of how rare they are. Then again, dragon names in this AU are similar to pony names, but with a slightly different feel to them. I'm posting chapter 2 in a couple hours, so you'll run across the names of four of the "Chosen Six", as I call them, and you'll get what I mean (I hope).
6863889 Oh, before I forget, if you leave a fave, please leave a like, too. Tracking is for people who aren't sure if they like a story, while favorites are for people who actually like a story. I'm literally one vote away from getting the bar to where other people can see the like/dislike ratio besides me, and there are some people on this site who snub all fics with 100+ views but still show the gray bar, and this fic happens to fall into that category at the current moment. It really bothers me when people leave favorites without leaving a like to go with it. If only leaving a fave automatically left a like as well, I wouldn't have this problem. This fic has more faves than votes right now.
I am loving this universe. I love the flow of the story and your writing style.
Hey fellow author! Remember me good sir? Well, I managed to finish both chapters quickly while scanning through the story to see all the details and the in-ands-outs of it. So know I can give a relatively short review of the story in progress, now if this was in a review group, I'd be willing to go for a full review but for now, I'll make it short.
Setting: As noted, the setting is an AU. So far unto the AU, I am liking the details given to this. I've learned how this AU will work thanks to the post you made beforehand so all those details are my central focus here. The details are outstanding! Despite the AU, everything does not feel out of place and feels like it could be something I'd be willing to bet could be made into an actual show. No negatives so far... but let's continue on here.
Characters: The dragon-based characters of the central characters are very true to their counterparts in emotion, ability, and actions while adding a few bits of draconic abilities to their list to replace their usual tricks such as Rarity's counterpart, Extraordinaire, being able to utilize metalwork while still being able to make dresses (which kind of is confusing seeing a dragon in a dress/tuxedo you know right? I know Spike can do so, but that's the exception)
Sentence Flux: The flow of the story is pretty much in tune to the show's flow. Gradually slow at first until it decides to pick up a bit sort of like a crescendo in music. If there is one negative, is that some parts are a bit rushed though that could just be me being silly and all...
Use of Canon: As this story utilizes the show's canon while mixing it up completely with different looks to the characters and using a different race as well, I'd say it's doing swell in keeping true to the show's canon while adding tiny things to it that makes it vastly different from the show (if it wasn't already with the central characters being the opposite gender and race...)
Well, that should be that for now. Right now, this story as many have said, has vast potential to be amazing for everyone here who reads it. It's off to a great start and I do cannot wait to see how well the story goes from here on out. All in all, I'd give this story a 3.5 out of 5 moustaches...
6865670 Thanks for the great review! I promise to meet (or even exceed) your expectations!
6865867 no worries, I'm tracking the story. Oh and in case you were wondering in my case of tracking it's different. The tracking for me is to keep an eye on stories that are in-progress and liked while the favorite is for stories that not only I like but are also completed. There are a few exceptions to the incomplete fics in the favorites but those are a rarity for me to see. Just giving a heads up
6865900 That's fine with me.
Excellent work on the info and world-building in this alternate universe. Different, but JUST similar enough to be recognizable.
Hey there again. Not much I can say that I didn't say in my previous review, but what the heck? The information, exchanges, emotional content and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I'm definitely going to be looking forward to more of this, but am quite willing to be patient. After all, I'm mature enough to respect the need for quality over speed. :-D
Hey there. Excellent job on this latest chapter. Again, the exchanges, emotional content, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I also liked the little foreshadowing of future adventures with the passing mentions of two other villains (one of whom, I'm guessing, is this universe's Discord), if I read those correctly. Of course, I'll freely admit I could be wrong. Even if I AM, though, I'll still be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.
6881658 Well, Havoc's not the Discord counterpart. That's another unrevealed character. Havoc is the Great Disrupter, the Destroyer of Balance. Havoc hates the very idea of a balanced universe where chaos and order work side by side, so Havoc seeks to destroy this delicate balance and send the scales of chaos and order swinging back and forth like a pendulum endlessly, creating mass panic, confusion, and of course, havoc.
I won't get to the equivalent to the Discord episodes for quite a while, but I'll give a little hint: MLP:FiM is about harmony, so the antithesis being (Discord) is thus a being of chaos. In a world where chaos was the driving force, the antithesis being would be one of order. But for one that's in equal balance? Well, things will be quite different. I'll let you try to fill in the blanks.
6881685 Makes very good sense. Thanks for answering me.
6881794 No problem. Feel free to ask any questions you may have, and I'll be sure to answer them.
Midnight Darkscales is a better villain that Nightmare Moon. He is aware the land need the sun and is willing to not banish the sun eternally. He knows that the land needs the sun. Thank you for writing this.
6882178 Why thank you. I felt that Darkscales needed to be more intelligent than his pony counterpart. After all, Umbra and Lumin had been co-ruling Draconia in their parents' stead for nearly four millennia before Umbra became corrupted, so nearly four thousand years of co-ruling had to make him smart, and corruption shouldn't suddenly make him an idiot. You'll see more of his intellectual superiority to NMM in later chapters, I promise.
On a side note, this just popped into my head.
Setting: Inter-Dimensional Villains Anonymous meeting
"Hi, my name is Nightmare Moon, and I tried to bring about eternal night."
"Hello, Nightmare. My name is Midnight Darkscales and you're an idiot."
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Oh, and I like that part when Nightfall went 'nope' at the party scene.
6882387 I was hoping someone would like Nightfall going "nope". Twilight just froze in shock when faced with her party, but Nightfall generally doesn't freeze up for anything. So, he sees a party he wants no part in, his initial response is to turn around and leave. But of course, Goody Gumdrops is a dragon Pinkie Pie, so no matter your reaction to one of his parties, you will be a part of it, and that's final.
Also, I just find the "nope" meme funny in general, and I felt I had to pay my respects to such a glorious trend.
This story is very interesting. I like how there have been some divergences from the mlp form. I do like the no eternal night idea.
6887885 Thanks! To me, "interesting" is a very good compliment for my work (most of the time), as I seek to get people interested in the ideas of my work. For interested people come back for more, which is always a good thing. I'm glad I've interested you, and thanks for liking Darkscales' different take on messing up the cycle. I feel that many times, people have gotten it wrong in some way or another. Even if all life could be adapted to flourish in moonlight (such as making all plants function like the moonflower (one of very few real life nocturnal plants that opens its buds for moonlight and keeps them closed during the day)), the fact remains that the sun provides heat, not the moon. Even with an atmosphere to trap heat, the heat would still slowly escape into space, driving the planet to be colder and colder until it got too cold for life to continue. Nightmare Moon wanted eternal night, but Darkscales' greatest desire is the throne of the King of Draconia, so he'd definitely want to keep his subjects around.
Hey there. Again, excellent job on this latest chapter. The exchanges, emotional content, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly like how you're able to give Wishful more use than Spike got in the actual episode.
I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.
6904080 Thanks! I had planned from the very start for Wishful to be a very important character. She's not just some letter delivery system whose only other purpose is so Nightfall isn't talking to himself. No. She's much more. She plays backup, she's Nightfall's sidekick, and the two share a familial bond of sorts. Plus, it just makes sense for her to tag along instead of holding down the fort. Like she said, what do you really think an eleven-year-old Unicorn filly could do against something as powerful as Midnight Darkscales on her own? Think of what might've happened if Nightmare Moon decided to attack Spike while he was alone. Do you think he would've stood a chance all alone? I don't think so.
And you shouldn't have to wait too long for the next chapter. It should be out Thursday next week if all goes well (it's already completely written in rough draft form. It just needs polish so it'll be able to measure up to the chapters that are currently up).
6904080 Yeah!
6904333 Thanks again for the response. :-D
6904492 6904642 Try reading the chapter again! It's even better now! (I forgot to add the intended music for it until just now, so reading it again with the music should make it even better!
This is good. I like how Wishful is with the heros. I approve of all the slight changes.
Hey there. Thanks again for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Excellent job, of course, on the exchanges, emotional content, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. As I said before, I love how well you combine faithfulness to the source material with your own touches (particularly Nightfall's Papa Wolf moments) to make it an even better story.
I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this as soon as time and inspiration will allow.
6949881 Thanks so much for the comment! A lot of hard work has gone into every chapter, and I'm glad you're still loving this fic. We're almost at the end (for this fic, anyway), so get ready for some awesome content when chapter 6 comes along!
6950056 You are quite welcome. :-D
Great chapter. I loved the Daddy part in there.
6950619 Thanks. I really wanted to establish that they have a father-daughter style relationship, and I hope I got that point across with that scene. That, and it was meant to spread lots of feels.
6950652 well. I feel the feels
6950670 Mission accomplished, then.
Oh my Luna the feels are so great. this is so worth my time.
6951694 Mission accomplished! Welcome to the feels club!
Hello there. Thanks greatly for getting the final chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. It took a while, but was MORE THAN worth the wait. Once again, excellent job on the exchanges, emotional content, action and wrap-up in all the right places. I particularly liked Nightfall going into full blown Papa Wolf mode and Lumin actually helping save Wishful. I'll definitely be looking forward to the next story in the series as soon as time and inspiration will allow.
Great job with these episodes. I'm excited about the next one.
Amazing.
This was an excellent story.
This looks like an interesting start. I think however that you should use everydragon and somedragon rather than everygon and somegon. I have seen other fanfics use those terms too as well as other terms for griffons and changelings.
This is a great chapter the deviations from the canon are well done. Tyranny 101: Read the Evil Overlord List. I would think that Midnight Darkscales has already read the Evil Overlord List.