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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I've got a hunch White Rabbit is among the staff that broke Twilight...
6964079 I agree, maybe the head guy himself...
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maybe so, maybe no. who knows.
happy to see the mystery has peeked interest.
it's always interesting to see which parts of the story people comment about.
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I do apologize for the errors, I read over the chapter several times and fixed what I saw but it seems I still missed some.
I may track down an Editor to make the Edits while I focus on writing so as not to lose steam.
I also believe it was one of the guys that broken her, but I don't know about the head guy. He was a project leader, a scientist. Not a military leader.
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hmm...wonder if I should let slip a bit of who this guy is or leave it to the chapters.
not the identify just what he is.
6964610 That's all up to you, mate...
6964617 hmm...i'll just say it is someone who has been either seen or mentioned in the story at some point.
6964636 That's actually a good idea!
Honestly I'm thinking his guys helps Twilight get back home, just a hunch.
6964650 can honestly say i did not expect some one having that idea for White Rabbit.
I wouldn't be surprised if Twilight became the equivalent of the Terminator and went Rambo and hasta la vista on the sick bastards that experimented on her and the people who funded the sick bastards. Or she could end up like Grey Fox...
6964656 Well SOMEONE has to pull the strings, u can't just cobble a trans universe machine.
6964677 MacGyver could with just a fridge, a box spring, a first aid kit and half a role of scotch tape.
6964673 i do have a proper end planned for Frisk, don't you worry one bit~~~
6964689 How is Twilight like Frisk?
6964712 huh? what you mean?
I thought you were going to wait on the leg thing?
6964717 Know how Chara is kinda benign, but becomes a monster by the start of the game and an agent of destruction by the end of the Genocide route?
6964720 couldn't think of anything to fill space and needed to introduce White Rabbit.
i know it's a bit rushed on her losing everything
6964723 Who's Chara?
6964724 didn't need her to lose the legs on their first meeting.
6964728 Agh, from Undertale.
6964761 it was the only way I could really think of her to loose her legs as White Rabbit was the only character that would drop a building on her and do it on their first meeting. her loosing her legs this way has been planned since the beginning of the story.
6964765 I've heard of that, know next to nothing about it.
6964767 I know it was planned for her loss. but she has what a year before her return. Pacing man, pacing.
6964805 I know but she also needs time to get used to them and then make her custom cybernetics.
though honestly I think I may have set the bar a bit to high with the over a year.
6964684 I thought he was an unkillable badass, not technical genius.
6966821 he was a scientist who used his wits to build what he need out from everyday objects in order to defeat his enemies.
hence the term "MacGyver" being in the English language meaning jury rigging something to work.
cdn.theatlantic.com/assets/media/img/mt/2014/09/The_More_You_Know/lead_large.png
6966859 I see....but let's be "realistic" here, you need at least SOME high-tech shit to rip a hole in space-time, and far more than HALF a roll of duckt tape.
6966895 some one hasn't paid attention to the prologue or what happened on the train.
6966895 YES YOU ALSO NEED A PAPER CLIP, A BALL OF RUBBERBANDS AND 4 FEET OF ROPE
Obviously, I'm not done reading this story yet. I will continue to read it, too, but there are a few things I would like to mention at this point.
First off, this is a great story. I love the idea, the characters are great, and this shows a relatively accurate description of the way the mind changes when put into this kind of situation. The twists that show up are good, too, even if a few were easier to see than others. A few things like that are to be expected in any work, though.
That being said, this story is hard to read. I don't mean that in the way I want to mean it, too. I want to say that this story is written in such a way that it's difficult to read in any kind of emotional state. I want to say that this story is such a marvel of writing that I have to take breaks from reading it due to the intensity of some scenes. And with some parts, it is that way. But with the multitude of grammatical and spelling errors, it's just hard to understand a large chunk of the story without taking a few moments to make sure I'm reading it correctly. And please, use more conjunctions. Few people draw out dialogues in real life by adding more words. And it's even less realistic when that happens in the heat of battle.
I like this story. I really do. But please, find an editor to help the flow of this story and make it easier to read. Until then, this story can only get so far as to make it to my Almost Favorite list. If you would like to hear more suggestions from me, send me a PM.
Was that a Battlefield 4 reference I see?
Follow the white rabbit.
White Rabbit is the "good doctor", isn't he...?
So, Twilight is going to follow the White Rabbit down the Rabbit Hole of Madness. Looking forward to this.
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Yeah and slay him.
White rabbit is evil scientist that was in charge of twilight obviouse and im calling it
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Her magic, The White Rabbit has left his writing on the wall, she'll follow, like Alice, AND JUST KEEP DIVING DOWN THE HOLE!
So, Twi's magic is getting stronger... and she's slowly becoming a one-mare army... ;)
As soon as I looked at the title for this chapter I immediately thought of this song
https://youtu.be/KCqjZIGKR0M
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That is weirdly fitting for the character.
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Honestly first time through I thought the same
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Since I'm on my 3rd reread I concur
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ya know when I saw the link I had a feeling I knew what song it was and absolutely agreed
Well Twilight lost her last 2 remaining limbs, so she doesn't really have anything left to lose now of her body.