• Member Since 23rd Mar, 2014
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Vivid Syntax


You like reading. I like writing. Let's be friends!


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"Who are we but the pony we become in our darkest moment?"

Fire Streak finally gets his big break, but even as the lights all turn toward him, he feels the cold presence of a lingering, blue shadow.


Cover Art by Stratus35
In-Story Art by AkatsukiBritt
Edited by WordGuru
Pre-read by InGlobWeTrust

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 40 )

Love the artwork!

This writing...so beautiful.

i think that waiting was worth it, its great so far!
I am looking forward to the next chapter. :raritywink:

jxj

Really strong first chapter. Personally, I'm not a fan of art in the middle of the chapter, but still a really chapter. I can't wait to see what you have planned.

6748125

Thanks! :pinkiehappy: Hope the quality holds up for you!

6748728
You won't have to wait any longer. :raritywink:

6749628
Thanks, jxj! I'm sorry you don't like the illustrations in the chapters as much, but, well, my story, my artistic choices. :rainbowlaugh: I think Britt did an excellent job with the picture itself, too. Hope you like the next chapter!

JBL

And the faces. Bro, I can't begin to tell you about the faces.

"Bro, I want your autograph now!"

We're getting you hammered tonight, bro!"

Their faces, bro.

Bro!
Brooo!
Broooooo!

:rainbowlaugh:
Aside from that, looking forward to what you have in store for this story. Glad it's rated Teen as well -- no explicit sexy times to distract this reader.

jxj

6768858 oh, the picture itself is excellent. Personally, I find that having them in the middle of the chapter breaks my immersion, but to reach their own.

That last sentence was said so casually that it gave me chills :rainbowderp:

JBL

Damn, the way he tries to rationalize what he's doing... :twilightoops: Reminds me a bit of this guy.

6769611

Damn, the way he tries to rationalize what he's doing...

One step at a time... :trixieshiftright:

....

...bro. :trollestia:

6769439
I think it gave him chills, too.

6769439 same here.

This is the one story I've waited a long long time for ever since Soarin's parting words to Streak in Sensation and the possible side story as mentioned in the polls. Let me be the first to say that you did not disappoint.

Firestreak had been an interesting character even in sensation, being competitive and, though often jokingly intend on taking Soarin', never actually expected to get there, at the very least not in this sudden fashion. That competitive duality in him caught my interest initially, in wanting to prove himself, but also being Soarin's friend.

Sensation's progression did hint a bit at where this story would go, but I like how you started with the tension beforehand and brief mentions of the difficulties faced leading up to the show.

The way you built up the tension in the second chapter was fantastic and it feels far too relate-able. The progression for firestreak's excitement over a show well done, as you wonderfully display in actions of the character himself and interactions with the characters around him, to the realization that his accomplishments are being overshadowed, or even ignored, more and more. Come to think of it I think that's where your strength in writing really lies. The characters feel alive. It's never just a decision or just a conversation. There are thoughts, actions and behaviors, backing up the written dialogue both for the main characters and those they interact with, each with their own defined personality. The first person nature of the story adds additional layers of insight on top of that experience and helps to keep the reader immersed.

But it isn't just limited to the dialogue for character interactions, for it's the moments alone where especially Firestreak really shines.
The moment he comes up with the idea to leak information about Soarin, there is a brilliant progression of denying the option, to not being able to let it go, to excuses and justifications and eventually just giving in. This on top of all the earlier build up of expectations and disappointments. It makes Firestreak feel genuine, as much as I don't want him to do it.

And I know what you're going to do too, and it's evil. He'll have sold his soul next chapter and then receive Soarin's letter, the one with the 'thing' drawn on it, when Firestreak will no longer be able to reverse his actions. You're the master of conflict and resolutions though and making actions matter, so I still cannot wait to see where you're going to take this or how all of this will impact Firestreak in the long run.

One thing I really appreciated too was Spitfire's interruption of Firestreak's behavior when he was going too far. Streak's goal for perfection, in hopes of proving his worth was believable, and the results of it, especially what Spitfire would later talk to him about, were well hinted at in his squad and friends. Her comparison with herself and what Firestreak's methods would lead him towards was both a nice show of her own character and past, and a way to prevent Firestreak from taking any mistakes he'd regret. For some reason it reminded me of how I'd want a spike episode to go. Spitfire was awesome as usual ^^

I can't wait to delve into the next chapters.

6788850
When I first read this comment, my immediate thought was, "Oh no! Does he think the story ended after chapter 2???" Of course, I was still in the middle of a cold at the time (I'm recovering now), and maybe I couldn't grasp all the details. I love all your speculation, and thank you again for taking the time to let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy the final chapter of this story, "Blaze."

I assure you, you won't be disappointed. :raritywink:

Thank Luna he saw those fan mail and Soarin's letter!

Omygerd, that was amazing...... And only in 3 goddamn chapters!?! OAO You, my sir, deserve a toast:moustache: And do I sense a hint of shipping in there?? :pinkiecrazy: I won't mind seeing where this will go

6792184
Glad you enjoyed it! And I agree! But... could you please stick a spoiler tag around that comment, please? :twilightblush:

6792341
Thanks, Echo! I'm glad you liked it. I'll make sure to pour myself something toast-worthy after I get over this cold. :rainbowlaugh:

As for shipping, I think Spitfire and Fire Streak are going to have a very professional relationship from here on out. Fire Streak has always seen Spitfire as above him, both in terms of rank and also like he somehow wasn't good enough to work with her. After the events of this story, though, he feels more comfortable thinking of himself as an equal. He may not be a captain yet, but he realizes that he still has a lot to contribute to the team, and he doesn't need fame or approval to feel that way anymore.

...but also, yes, they TOTALLY get together. :rainbowkiss:

6792494 :rainbowlaugh: okie then, now go conquer that cold!!

You assured me I wouldn't be disappointed. I'm happy to be able to write honestly that you were more than correct ^^

This was a rather satisfying little story arc, complementing several events in sensation well. It proved to be an interesting insight in a character losing sight of what is important, of why somepony is doing what they're doing, when unexpectedly confronted with possibilities and challenges previously only dreamed of, and then wanting to ensure that those expectations are actually realized and continued. It's the problem of friendships and competition,

There's little I can say about your writing that I haven't already mentioned previously. This last chapter continued the high quality writing I'm used to from you and maintained the focus on a very believable internal conflict as well as a remarkably tense build up towards the end. The end was touching and sweet, a reminder of the opinions of the ponies that really matter and it proved a satisfying conclusion to Streak's conflict. Spitfire actually learning of his initial intentions and feelings, and supporting him in the end was a neat touch and I do have to admit I quite like how they work together.

I look up to characters like Spitfire in this story. Professional and focused on their job, helping others where necessary, however necessary, but aware of what they're giving up for it. I'm not sure why. But Firestreak actually stepping up and potentially trying to break her isolation as it were made me smile in the end. That was a precious moment ^^.

And last but not least, I finally have my answer as to what the drawing on the envelope was actually of with a cutiemark story to boot. Though I honestly hadn't expected Soarin to have written it that poorly ^^. It did get me to laugh though.

I'm quite sad that this was the last chapter, enjoying the internal struggles and companionship within the wonderbolts team.

6796371
I'm happy you enjoyed it! I had tons of fun writing this one, especially since the Wonderbolts as an organization don't seem to get much love. It was a fun exercise exploring the interplay within the team, bringing in what little we see in episodes like "Wonderbolts Academy" and "Rainbow Falls." It was also nice getting out of Soarin's head for a while and writing a different voice. One thing I wanted to make sure of was that Streak "sounded" different from Soarin', and from the feedback I've gotten so far, that appears to be the case.

Spitfire is becoming a favorite of mine, since she occupies a space that they haven't really explored much in the show: mid-level authority. Her hooves are tied in some ways, so she can't do whatever she wants like the princesses, but she still finds ways to use her powers for good, as it were. And of course, Fire Streak himself is now on my short list of favorite ponies as well. I think writing out his cutie mark story (and everything else) got me hooked on him. :heart:

Though I honestly hadn't expected Soarin to have written it that poorly ^^. It did get me to laugh though.

This is a super interesting reaction, and it wasn't what I was expecting, especially given what Streak says immediately afterwards. Sometimes I think I'm too subtle, and now I know for sure. :rainbowlaugh:

Thanks again for reading! I always appreciate your detailed comments. :raritywink:

This was a really great story! It was interesting seeing the inferiority Streak felt and the moral dilemma that evolved from his drive to prove himself worthy of accolades. I loved your portrayal of Fire Streak and how you referenced a lot of his characteristics to the nature of fire, how it fluctuates between intensity and is a symbol of drive and passion. I don't read many wonderbolt stories but I enjoyed the interaction between the members, especially between Fire Streak and Spitfire and the really sweet moment they shared in the end.

6799973
Thanks, Stratus! I hope you feel like it lived up to that awesome art you did. :raritywink: I think the Wonderbolts as an organization don't get enough love in the fandom, and I'm happy to add a little bit to the mix.

And with this, I'm completely caught up with all your stories. It's been such a pleasure reading all these the last couple days and interacting with you through the comments and messages. I look forward to the next chapter of Sensation and whatever other stories you have planned next.

That last scene... My HEART! :raritycry:

6822127
Awesome! I'm glad you've enjoyed this tour through my stories. The next chapter of "Sensation" comes out on Saturday, and thanks for reading!

jxj

Really good fic. I really like this style of side fic. It's really interesting to see events unfold from different perspectives.

6841940
Thanks, jxj! You're just in time for the new chapter, too!

Damnit Firestreak! You son of a...




bitch!

Yay fire streak! :pinkiehappy:


Totally expect to see their relationship play out even though it was mentioned that telationships are often frowned on in the wonderbolts... :facehoof:

6886022
I tend to be pretty good about continuity. :raritywink:

6888239

Well you know I'll be watching for more from you! :rainbowkiss:

I'm very glad to see that things turned out for the best in this chapter. And it makes me very heartwarmed to see that Fire came to his senses. He could have so easily ruined Soarin just to get ahead and take a shortcut in his career to have all his fame and glory, and it would have been so, so easy to do so. But he stopped himself, and it really makes me want to kiss the sweet little guy! :heart: (And hate him less, too.)

Although I very much enjoyed this side-story, I don't really see the purpose for it; other than to show what's happened back at the Academy during Soarin's absence. Hopefully it'll be elaborated enough at one point for my easily-confused head to understand. :derpytongue2:

6892034
Hey there! I'm glad you liked it, and feel free to kiss Streak whenever you'd like. :rainbowlaugh:

As for the purpose of the story, there were a few reasons:
1) I like expanding the universe every once in a while. There are a lot of these stories I'd love to tell, and it's all a matter of making time for them.
2) Some of this stuff ties into upcoming chapters of Sensation. The main story will be standalone, of course, but hopefully it can enrich your understanding of everything that's going.
3) There's actually a pretty big plot reveal for the main story if you're paying super close attention. It' in chapter 3, and it deals with something that hasn't been talked about much in the main story yet.

Thanks again for reading! And I'll try to fix those mistakes soon!

just finished it and it was better then what I expected form. I like all the internal struggle that Blaze between what he wants that he work so hard for to get it and his personal principles that guised him to a grater standardized as well as the image that he has crafted of himself in his mind. You communicate those though and omission so flawlessly that you show it in the characters "faits et gestes" (actions and movements) that it is easier to slip into the characters place unlike so many other story where they just states the fact of what is happening. I think it is fascinating to see the a character that is always in the shadow of his friend and can't seem to to make him stand out from him for his skills and his merits ands so desperately want to be recognizes for it. Envy always strike a strong cord in me, as I have often use it to fuel my desires to strive become better then what I currently am when I can't seem to muster up to the will go on in my work; in the long run it is unhealthy and you can never be satisfied in your self if you don't reconcile with yourself on that. I have fond that admiration and envy very tried close to one an other and that it can be difficult to distinguish the one from the other. I think that the line is cross when the self-confident of the person fragility in their skills and that the ego can't accept the possibility of the though of maybe not being good enough and lash out on the first most convenient target of that. Blaze was nearly overwhelmed by his desire to get his hearts desires at the low cost of his friendship and principles, but didn't give in, than to reading his fan mail helped and had the support of his friend Spit to help him out.

great work I am looking forward to reading more of your stories:pinkiehappy:

6922168
Hey there, Mix-Up! Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you liked the story. I had a lot of fun writing it, and I think you hit on the major themes really well. Case in point:

Envy always strike a strong cord in me, as I have often use it to fuel my desires to strive become better then what I currently am when I can't seem to muster up to the will go on in my work; in the long run it is unhealthy and you can never be satisfied in your self if you don't reconcile with yourself on that.

This is definitely something Fire Streak was struggling with, and I'm glad you were thinking about it. Thanks again!

Found a typo

but the fact that Wave Chilld had used that word

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