- Member Since 13th Jun, 2014
- offline last seen Nov 29th, 2021
Erisn
If a Slenderman falls in the forest, does anyone care?
Erisn
Joined 13th Jun, 2014 ·
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Did not see that coming. Well done.
Never stop writing. It just gets better and better.
6723756
Appreciate the words! Too bad that this story's suffering from the Mature tag rating. I hate it, but what can you do? Most of the readers from How to Be Cruel probably don't know this is coming out either, which is problematic.
6726177
That is sad. More people need to be reading this. Well, people would benefit greatly from reading anything you write.
One a day. You are a writing machine!
Wow, that whole battle with Chrysalis really took a toll on poor Fluttershy.
Nice, a new story. I would give a thumbs up but it's not working right now. ...Or, maybe it is and I'm blind.
Awesome
Wow, you managed to make the Pinkies scarier than canon.
That makes scary sense. Pinkie can swallow a whole cake in one bite, why not other things.
6737074
Canon Pinkie is where my nightmares come from. Someday I'll have to write a story about her.
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I'm not sure how I'm managing to crank 6000+ words a day. If I can I'll keep up the pace, but my hand might fall off pretty soon.
Heh. I thought she was going to force Trixie to fight for her.
Little by little, the timid pegasus called Fluttershy is snuffed out and a burned mare walks in her place.
It's starting to sound like Chrysalis is the one who survived the encounter or something.
If this go on... she will probably end in Tartarus.
Hells Fire: Before Real One reads this story, let answer the synopses question, one quick and powerful blow into the middle of the back of one's head, that's kindness in this sort of job.
6739930
I hope your hand grew back.
Great job on the newest chapter.
I have theories, but will keep them to my self for now.
Sorry about the sudden gap in updates. Christmas, family, snow, work, it's all an excuse. Well, I missed Christmas, but please accept this extra-long chapter as a New Year's gift.
So Fake Fluttershy can use the Element now, right?
6788468
It certainly seems so. But is this a germane detail to the plot? Who knows...
(Well, I do. But let's pretend no one knows.)
And thus fluttershy's descent into insanity begins. Something have to give sooner or later.
I feel so bad for Fluttershy.
The tension between the new and the old is super thick now. Is there going to be a violent disagreement?
6870046 Which one?
6872880
Would it make more or less sense, if I said the real one.
6873250 Exactly.
Guess those words with Tirek did a lot more than expected.
And then came Starlight Glimmer....
Awww man. Grr... I knew something was off. Awesome chapter by the way.
I had a feeling that this might happen. Some of the chapters beforehand seemed a little off when the other Fluttershy tried to intervene.
Hmmm..... curiouser and curiouser.
Um...what?
Slight plot hole.
In the first part when she was talking to Tirek Fluttershy mentioned that she had to take out Sombra herself.
She said that the Crystal Heart did not kill him it only weakened him, and she had to finish him off.
Other than that it is a good story.
Ah...
Well don't I feel silly about my last post then.
She is going to take out Sombra.
I apologize for interrupting your work my good author.
Nice plot twist!
Only concern is how will you explain Fluttershy going back to normal?
By the time the switch happened Fluttershy was already broken, and well on the way to being cruel.
What would bring her back to normal kind Fluttershy...?
What a tease. Nice way to fill some plot holes though.
That is a little disturbing
Hey everyone, I'm polling for opinions on whether this story is worth continuing at the moment. See my blog post for details, but let me know if anyone's that attached to this piece at the moment.
Why didn't Discord just freeze the water? He froze an entire lake before.
7058582
Spoilers!
My rational for this goes something like this:
Discord can freeze a lake over in one go, but what about a dam's worth of water? That's a lot, and it's moving way too fast to freeze easily.
Not only that, the flooding is a naturally entropic event. It's chaotic, destructive. I imagine freezing all that and undoing all that chaos would be a lot harder for Discord than messing with a flat body of water.
Plus, he's not that good with being surprised. Surprises he does well, but he's pretty bad when caught off guard.
7058582
I would guess it's because he froze a non-moving lake. Plus the water in this story, if memory serves, was only surface deep. The massive amount of water was moving. That is a whole lot of force that would suddenly have to stop. I am more concerned with Fluttershy mastering the mirror pool, and Chrysalis not remembering it. She did repel the army of pink after all.
Am I the only one who caught this
Discord know what the fox says
I don't know what to say.
Why did I have to chop onions while reading this.
Excuse me, I need to go.... somewhere.
I can't wait for the sequel where all the stuff that went on in this fic and the previous one comes to light.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
11:4_4/9/2016
Honestly, I can't really say I like the way this one turned out. The whole twist ending it has going feels like it cheapens the impact this could have had. While the writing is kind of clumsy at times, I genuinely liked the setup this one seemed to have - Fluttershy losing herself more and more as she immerses himself in her self-imposed "duty," while the fake Fluttershy becomes more like the real her every single day.
Had it been played straight, it would have been a wonderful, poignant cautionary moral tale about the way even the best of intentions can end up consuming you if you lose sight of what you used to stand for. It happens so often, both to the individual and on the level of nations. It could have ended with her failing and ultimately paying for her sins the way the beginning of the story set the course for, with New Fluttershy rising above her past as part of the changeling army to take her place.
Somewhat ironically, this ended up feeling like it lost sight of itself somewhere along the way itself.
I said it once and I will say it again, This was Fluttershy's best Grimdark. The animal interactions, fights, and drama make this easily one of her best stories on the site under the grimdark tag. Of course, it helps to listen to the proper music to add to atmosphere
I also have to applaud you for the seemingly Sixth Sense style twist. Like Sixth Sense, clues were there, that a person clueless about the story wouldn't pick up on unless you feel "Fluttershy" is out of character. Was this coincidence or am I reading too much into it? I personally don't like tragic downfalls that would be in place had this story had Fluttershy as herself normally losing herself in her mission. Some might call this immoral to root for the villain, but I do. Hell, I rooted for Light in Death Note and look how that turned out.
I was on edge this entire story and I dare say it was darker than any story I had on my Nook at this time. Despite sharing a lot of similarities to Fluttershy, she isn't my favorite pony. I used to think so, but I don't know. It's complicated. I tend to like ponies if they are used in grim settings, I have no idea why. Pinkie is the exception to this as Pinkie is easy to turn into a killer thanks to Cupcakes. To make a villain shine, you have to make them likable and sympathetic if you are going for that. A good villain is someone you love to hate or love to root for despite immoral odds otherwise.
In my opinion, I think you were successful at making Fluttershy (sorta) became a villain. This story makes that complicated and frankly I have no idea how to interpret the ending. (Spare me the ending is up to interpretation bull... I can't really think of the words to put into being) I have no idea if this is a downer ending, implied downer ending, bittersweet, implied bittersweet downer for the implications or happy.
Should you continue this story, I will, of course, read it as this dark story didn't upset me like dark stuff ordinarily would. In any case, this is probably the best Grimdark for Fluttershy in my opinion that isn't just straight up torture porn or depressing crap. I don't know where the comparrisons for Sixth Sense come from, but to me, Fluttershy can be seen for what she is quite obviously on repeat viewings.
Maybe I just had no clue and things can be easily found out regardless before the reveal. I thank you for continueing but I had no clue about this sequal till I decided to reread a story I enjoyed immensily, did some digging on your profile and realized you made a sequel.
There was no hesitation, I'm sorry!
You can has review!
Too Many Pinkie Pies? Oh my, this is going to be bloody hilarious.
Jesus Christ.
…
A truly dark part of me wants Fluttershy to drag Pinkie through the fields of death, to make her know precisely what her overly impulsive idiocy led to, to break her. While vengeance is part of it, ultimately I think that it would be the only way to guarantee Pinkie’s impulsive tendencies never endanger anyone ever again; while ever Pinkie is still Pinkie she’ll continue to be impulsive.