I Can Make Your Deepest Desires Come True
“W-what!?” Fluttershy stammered, her cheeks quickly turning a lovely shade of crimson.
Across from her sat Discord, nursing his cup of Tuesday tea. As Fluttershy’s teapot spontaneously sprouted legs and went to refill the draconequus’ cup of its own volition, Discord merely smirked. “I SAID, I can make your deepest desires come true.”
Fluttershy pulled an impressive imitation of a fish as her mouth opened and shut wordlessly as she tried to process what she was hearing. “O-oh, um, I’m not sure, um, it’s just, I don’t know-“
Discord stretched an arm out and around Fluttershy’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Oh, don’t be so modest, my dear Fluttershy. Pinkie told me ALL about your fantasies, and I do believe I can help you out!”
The mention of her SLIGHTLY less chaotic friend only served to unnerve Fluttershy even more than she already was. “Pinkie told you…”
“Yes!” Discord exclaimed. “You see, the other day I popped by Sugarcube Corner for a quick snack – nothing there is quite as lovely as your tea, mind you, but it makes for a decent pick-me-up. Anywho, I ended up conversing with Pinkie for a while, one thing led to another, and at some point our pink friend regaled me with a tale in which you confessed to her your great desire to be a tree!”
If Fluttershy hadn’t been confused before, she certainly was now. She could vaguely remember mentioning that she would like to be a tree in response to Pinkie’s usual antics, though she had meant it as a joke. And that had been quite some time ago regardless…
Before the pegasus could completely gather her thoughts, Discord drew himself up into a dramatic pose, a spotlight shining behind him from what appeared to be the potted plant from the hallway upstairs.
“And I, Discord, would be more than willing to help my dearest friend in her dilemma! To not let her dreams be dreams! Fluttershy, my fine friend, you shall be the finest flora to ever flourish in Equestria!”
Throughout their time together, Fluttershy had come to learn that when Discord got into one of his ‘helpful’ moods, it became somewhat difficult to dissuade him. Her best bet now to defuse the situation was to politely refuse and calmly and logically explain to Discord why his help – while appreciated – was unneeded. Though, honestly, it was still debatable how well that would work. After all, ‘Discord’ and ‘logic’ didn’t exactly mix well. They often merely resulted in headaches and the occasional explosion or twelve.
Fluttershy, after taking a deep breathe to collect herself, began her defense. “While I’ve no doubt you could make me into a wonderful tree, Discord, I’m afraid I have to decline. There’s so much I have to do.”
Discord merely smiled amicably. “Oh, but the change wouldn’t be permanent, my dear! Why, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I couldn’t enjoy our weekly tea together. You could simply give it a trial run for a week and go from there!”
It seemed Discord was intent on ‘helping’. Fluttershy sighed inwardly, though she kept a smile on her face. “Oh, but I couldn’t simply disappear for a week. There’s so much I have to do around the cottage, what with taking care of all of my animal friends. Then there’s my spa appointment with Rarity later this week. And what about my other friends? They’d be so worried…”
At this Discord merely scoffed, waving his claw in a dismissive gesture. “Don’t worry your pretty little head off about all that, dearie. Ol’ Dissy has everything planned out!” With a snap of his claw, a low-cut maid outfit appeared on the draconequus, replete with a feather duster clenched in his paw. “I’ve seen you do your thing often enough to know what to do. And should I need a helping paw, I need merely ask our little friend Dem- I mean, Angel Bunny, for help. Isn’t that right, little buddy?” Angel merely glared back at the embodiment of chaos that was currently occupying HIS couch cushion.
Discord turned his attention back to Fluttershy. “And as for your friends, I’ll simply explain the situation to them, they’ll understand. After all, what kind of friend would keep you away from your dreams, hm? Besides, you’ve been working yourself hard for a while now. You deserve a small vacation, my dear.”
Fluttershy didn’t even bother trying to hide her exasperation this time as she sighed loudly… for her, at least. Honestly, at this point she was running out of excuses to convince Discord. Though he was right on one thing: she HAD been working rather hard lately. She searched her mind for any ideas she could use to change Discord’s mind.
“Um… but…” She finally blurted out the best excuse she could come up with. “What if something happened to me while I was a tree? What if I got struck by lightning? O-or another tree did, and it started a fire?”
Discord actually seemed to ponder this for all of about a second before his eyes lit up… literally, as small lightbulbs appeared in them. “You needn’t worry about that, Fluttershy, ol’ pal. I know EXACTLY where you can go and be PERFECTLY safe!” He quickly grabbed the pegasus and brought her into a full-body hug, causing a squeaking noise to sound through the cottage. After putting her back down, Discord smiled. “Don’t worry my dear, I’ll hold down the fort here; you just have fun!”
“Wait! Discord, don’t do anything – “ An echo of the word ‘rash’ could be heard as Fluttershy disappeared at the snap of a claw.
Discord chuckled. “She’ll thank me later.” With his work done, he plopped down and sprawled out on the sofa… much to the annoyance of Angel Bunny.
With a puff of magic, a tree that hadn’t been there previously suddenly came into existence. Like the seemingly endless sea of trees around it, it was a healthy young apple tree. Its vibrant green leaves shimmered in the sunlight, not a single scar marred its bark, and succulent red fruit hung from every limb, weighing them down with their burden.
Fluttertree could only vaguely ponder the changes that had overcome her body; trees weren’t particularly well-known for their power of thought, after all. However, she – or rather IT now – could feel a sense of calm permeate its branches in the cool afternoon breeze.
In the distance, an orange figure could be made out approaching the grove of trees in which Fluttertree grew. (How a tree could be aware of its surroundings remains a mystery to this day, though one can only assume Discord played a role in it.) As the figure approached, more details could be made out; a blonde mane and tail, a stetson perched atop its head, and a wagon filled with empty buckets being pulled behind. It was none other than Applejack, Fluttertree’s good friend and one of the primary caretakers of her arboreal companions.
As she reached the trees around where the former pegasus rested, Applejack began removing the buckets from her wagon and placing them under their branches. She worked with the efficiency of a mare who had done so a countless number of times, and within only a minute or so, the wagon was empty.
Casually, the farm mare approached the first tree, turned around, and gave it a strong buck with practiced ease, sending its fruit cascading into the buckets below. Applejack proceeded to give the tree several more kicks until its branches were fully free of its burden of ripened apples.
As the process continued with each tree in line, Fluttertree began to feel a vague sense of an emotion it hadn’t yet felt in the few minutes it had been in existence, yet seemed oddly familiar – fear. It had no doubt that its time would soon come; the buckets below brooked no argument of that. Would it hurt? Or would it even feel anything at all?
As Applejack approached its trunk and turned around, Fluttertree braced itself for the coming pain. What happened next, however, was absolutely nothing Fluttertree could have prepared itself for –.
Pleasure. Fluttertree could only moan internally as an intense wave of euphoria, the likes of which it had never felt before, wracked its whole being as hoof met bark. Again and again, the orange mare pounded her hooves into the tree’s sensitive bark, sending ripples of pleasure through its trunk, from the top of its crown down to the tips of its roots. Time seemed to slow to a crawl between each strike, apples dripping into the mare’s eagerly awaiting buckets below.
After nearly of minute that seemed to stretch into hours, Fluttertree could take no more. With a scream of carnal pleasure in its wooden mind, its succulent fruit came gushing from its branches, filling their targets to the brim before spilling out around them.
As it basked in the afterglow, Fluttertree felt a vague sense of sadness – and a bit of jealousy – as Applejack merely moved on to the next tree in line, before all semblance of thought left it.
Once the week was up, the tree disappeared in a similar manner to how it first arrived. A moment after, Fluttershy reappeared in her cottage, once more a pegasus. Discord greeted his friend with an enthusiastic hug and a smile.
“Welcome home, my dear! Did you have a good time? How was the tree life?”
Fluttershy could only blush heavily as the memories of what had occurred rushed into her once more fully-functioning brain. “It was… nice.” After a moment’s hesitation, the demure mare spoke up once more. “Could I… possibly do that again sometime?”
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This was indeed the good kind of stupid.
That was hilarious
This was... I'll just describe it as Discord was here. However, the premise is kind of funny, and it's nice that Fluttershy finally got to be a tree.
HiddenMaster out.
6556131
6556219
Good to know that I'm not the only person on this site that enjoys comedy that slowly kills your brain cells with toxic amounts of stupidity
6556266
Yeah, things tend to get... strange when Discord is involved. I had a lot of fun writing him, though.
Not sure what to say. Can't say it was terrible, but it just didn't do anything for me. Eh, I'll drop you a like regardless.
6556445 I knew fluttershy was a bit on the fruity side, but I think getting bucked by applejack shows just how far on that side she was
6556445
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/survivor-org/images/5/50/Mlp_my_little_pony_meme_bronies_pinkie_pie_brain_is_full_of_fuck_jackie_chan.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130928103906
6556539
Good enough for me! Thanks!
6556712
Very fruity. But you have to admit, Fluttertree and Applejack make a great PEAR.
myfunnymemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Bo-Burnham-Makes-Terrible-Puns.gif
(bonus points to anyone who knows who this is... and no, it's not me)
(Edit: never mind, just realized the answer is in the URL)
6556719
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/de/e2/d0/dee2d04c615ee4accaf71cfa7671476e.jpg
6556966 Ah, the guy with the pony counterpart of Wordplay I believe. Drops more f-bombs in one song that a heavy bomber. An amusing PMV.
As to the other thing... It took a whole minute for AJ to buck one tree? I thought she could do that with just one kick.
The other parts of the story just seem a little too chaotic to even think about.
The way Applejack treats an apple tree transplant in "Over a Barrel" shows a much bigger potential for comedy if you're going to do a sequel. After all, she gives a potted tree a bed, a blanket and she probably even sings to it. If Discord replaced one of those trees with Fluttertree, things could get amusingly awkward really fast. Just suggesting...
...
...
...
Well, that just happened. XD
6556966 sorry to tell you but the apple family doesn't approve of that other fruit. They're coming for you
http://img11.deviantart.net/98ec/i/2012/060/a/d/applejack_found_an_m10_wolverine_by_mrlolcats17-d4rf9er.png
33.media.tumblr.com/4110373f3be6a96fe428555df6b52b9e/tumblr_n8puybFcny1tp719lo7_r1_250.gif
I don't know how to react...
6557035
You should listen to the full version of the song (it's called Eff), there's over 75 f-bombs... and given that the song is just under 3 minutes long, that's roughly 1 every 3 seconds. Granted, the whole point of the song was to make fun of how overused the word is in a lot of modern music, particularly rap. Though personally, my favorite Bo Burnham song is New Math. Or maybe Hashtag Deep.
And of COURSE it took nearly a minute for AJ to get those apples. Fluttertree doesn't just GIVE its fruit to the first mare that comes along to give it a good bucking; they must be EARNED. It is a tree with TASTE and REFINEMENT. Not like those other shallow whores who just yield their fruit with one good pounding.
6557063
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/79/01/e2/7901e236b3b2de0ea12d4a705fd5877a.jpg
6557098
derpicdn.net/img/2012/6/22/15137/full.jpg
6557308
That IS the correct reaction
6557341 oh, you think you have a song with a few curse words in it? Try this on for size (appropriately named NSFW - Psychostick):
6557458
I THOUGHT that band name sounded familiar. Those are the guys who had that viral video back in '07 for their song "Beer!"
BEER IS GOOD! BEER IS GOOD! BEER IS GOOD... AND STUFF!
Ah, comedy music is the best. By any chance do you listen to Ninja Sex Party?
6557341 Oh my...
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_04_2012/post-3288-0-89375400-1335823940.png
and in regards to the third thing... PEARISH THE THOUGHT!
Well, apples are a tree's eggs as it were, or more accurately ovaries. So, this could be a sexual thing I guess. Funny thing is, Discord is the one to allow her to feel, so he is the one that made that sensation pleasurable. So, you can say Discord is the one who got her off, if indirectly.
6557542 I love Danny so much, in a platonic way of course! I even made a horrible song using mashups of Danny and Arin's voices from GameGrumps. Suppose to be funny in how stupid it is, but eh. GameGrumps song
It was my first attempt at mixing vocals in any way, it is also a year and a half old but I never uploaded it until a few weeks ago, so it is eh.
You mean thought. That said, I absolutely love this story! Have a like and a fave!
6559937
Fixed! Thanks for noticing that!
6557341
6559948 the title lol
how do i say this lightly tree fucking yes is that it
6559948 No problem!
I know exactly what this story is missing:
A hideously groan-worthy pun at the end! Seriously though, good story.
*dying from laughter*
*clicks upvote button*
*dies*
...Yeah, I don't need to say anything else. Also, I'm a ghost now. Boo.
6566102
Well, look on the bright side. At least now you don't have to worry about a Nightmare Night costume.
6566654
Indeed.
That was hilarious and very silly.
Falling apples are tree-gasms, head cannon accepted.
This is great I want a sequel
6561966 "Leaf it all to me, Fluttershy."
6561966
6590565
I debated on putting acorny joke at the end, but all the puns I came up with were medioaker. And I refused to end my fic with a sub-par pun! I would never be able to firgive myself. But thanks to both of yew for reading this!
"After all, ‘Discord’ and ‘logic’ didn’t exactly mix well. They often merely resulted in headaches and the occasional explosion or twelve."
Very good. You write a great Discord. I also liked how you found a clever way for Fluttershy to enjoy her transformation.
This... this made me laugh, enjoy your free like (you deserve it).
If she come out with sap.