I A new beginning
Our story starts out simple enough with our hero (and I use that word loosely here people) having a nap on the couch in his living room. When suddenly someone knocked at the front door, our hero (again people, loosely) being asleep did not here anything, so begrudgingly his roommate got the door. As he opened the portal he was greeted to the sight of a UPS driver.
"Yes?" The roommate asked the man on his doorstep.
"Hi there, I have a package for a Paige Marker," he said as he looked at his clipboard.
"He's asleep right now, I'll sign for it." And with that the package was received and the driver left to make his next delivery. As the roommate made his way into the living room he could hear snoring coming from his friend's position on the couch.
"Here," he said as he unceremoniously dropped the somewhat heavy box onto his roommate's stomach waking him almost instantly.
"What the *bleep* was that for?!" Paige demanded as he rose from the couch.
"One, you got something delivered and I had to sign for it, and two, your snoring was bugging me."
"*bleep* you," Paige responded as he flipped his friend the bird, "I'm going to have a shower." And have a shower he did.
As Paige exited the shower he caught his reflection out of the corner of his eye. Feeling particularly narcissistic that day he decided to admire himself in the mirror, because he worked hard for his body, he should be able to admire himself every now and then. The first thing he saw was his prematurely white hair, cut short with a buzz cut, but not too short, just enough to run his fingers through. Next were his teal eyes that some would say sparkled in the light, he wouldn't because they were eyes, not the single greatest literary crime against vampires to ever exist. Rounding out his face was a well kept chin strap beard that sat upon a square jaw. Below that were his muscles honed over the years as to appear similar to steel. A tattoo of Batman's black bat with three red diamonds within it, sat upon his right pectoral muscle, standing in stark contrast with his hairless chest. His stomach, unlike most with his hobbies, held what people like to call a 'six pack'. Most would call him hot, and he was fine with that because he wanted to be seen as that, it meant all those hours at the gym was worth it.
After drying off Paige went to his room to change. He pulled on a Superboy shirt that stretched over his muscles, so as to show them off, and threw on a pair of jeans and a belt with a Deadpool belt buckle. Looking over to his bed he saw his package lying right where he put it before his shower.
With a smile large enough to rival the Joker's he tore into the box. Paige knew exactly what was inside the box, his new rings. He had ordered these rings a couple of weeks ago from a guy on Etsy named 24KtGeek who made a bunch of nerdy jewelry. These were silver rings made to look like the Lantern Corps from D.C. comics, all nine of them. It had cost him a pretty penny, but Paige didn't care, he had been a fan of Green Lantern ever since his Gran bought him his first comic book for his tenth birthday. Smirking, he picked up the green ring and slid it onto the middle finger on his right hand and looked in his mirror.
"In brightest day, in Blackest Night," he said as he lifted his right fist towards the mirror. "No evil shall escape my sight," the lights began to flicker. "Let those who worship evil's might," the ring began to spark with green energy. "Beware my power," the energy around the ring intensified.
"GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!"
And with that everything became black.
The town of Ponyville was quite peaceful dispite being on the boarder of the Everfree Forest, a forest known for being the only natural home for manticores in the country. So when a person is seen falling through the sky people tend to start panicking. It didn't help that he was screaming in terror at the time.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..."
In the town below one of the inhabits who heard the scream looked up and saw the terrified man falling to his death. Acting quickly she flared her light blue wings and took to the sky as quickly as she could.
Wind whipping around him, Paige could only think that this was the end. He saw the blue of the sky and clouds rushing past him as he made his way to what was more than likely his final destination, the ground. The very solid, very painful to hit, ground. The ground that was likely going to finish what his father tried to do all those years ago. The ground that was-
"I gotcha buddy," a voice called out as a pair of arms grabbed him from behind.
Flaring her wings as much as she could to slow their decent Paige's mystery savoir brought them to the ground safely. As the pair landed she released him from her grasp. Turning around Paige finally got a look at the person who saved him.
The girl was shorter than Paige, but that was no surprise considering he stood at six and a half feet. She was fairly lithe, looking as though she would workout on a daily basis. She wore a light blue tank top that had a design of a tri-coloured lightning bolt coming out of a cloud on her right breast, with a pair of skinny jeans. Her hair was simply impossible, it was coloured every colour of the rainbow, while that alone wasn't too weird what was, was the fact that none of the colours blended together. Impossible. But what really caught Paige's attention were the giant blue wings coming out of her back.
At this point in time I would like to show you what was happening inside Paige's mind.
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Error:404 Brain not found
And now back to our regularly scheduled story.
"Yeah buddy, I know I'm awesome, but could you stop starring it's starting to creep me out.". The young woman told Paige.
Paige did not move.
"Seriously dude, knock it off."
Again Paige did nothing.
"Dude!"
Still nothing.
"Dude," worry setting into that young woman's voice (understandable really, I don't think that he's been blinking this entir- no wait, there he goes, never mind). "Are you okay? You haven't said a word since we touched down."
Finally snapping out of it, Paige raised his arm and pointed to the pair of feathery appendages on his savior's back. "W... W... W... Wings." He managed to stutter out.
Looking back at her wings, the girl flared them out and turned to face Paige. "Yeah, their my wings, all angels have them."
"Wings," he said again, no more intelligent than the first time.
"Yes, wings. Did you hit your head or something dude?"
"Wings."
"Gahh, will you stop saying wings?". The young woman was starting to get agitated with Paige.
"Wings." Wow, his brain must really be broken.
"STOP SAYING 'WINGS' EVERY SINGLE ANGEL HAS THEM, IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A BRAND NEW THING!" She yelled in his face. This unfortunately, killed the proverbial cat, and caused what little of Paige's mind was left to shut down. Basicly he fainted like a little girl.
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So far so good I look forward to seeing what happens next.
I'll look at this.... but I warn you about Gilda.... don't fuck her up.
6496176 Don't worry I have plans for her
6496204 Sorry just... nervous... people usually give her one persona which is just angry bitch.
6496207 HEY! My best friend is an angry bitch, she's only nice to the people she likes. And that is exactly how I see Gilda.
6496222 Well by that I mean she hates everything. I don't mean to insult your friend.... and I take it that means you like Gilda.
6496191 If I may could you please explain how my story is mediocre so that I may better myself and my stories
We believe Sombra should be fear or the yellow core?
I'm gonna guess they're not anthro but humanized in this one
Edit: Didn't see it say humanized ponies in description before...
6496578 Well, it does say 'Human' and not 'Anthro'. That tells me a lot.
This has possibilities.
Seriously though, GREEN Lanterns? Bunch of paralmilitariests that can't even be honest with themselves much less the rest of the galaxy! Keep the Universe safe? BULL! Their job is to keep OA safe, the rest of the galaxy could rot for all most of the "guardians" care. Ganthet and one or two more, MAYBE but mostly Ganthet is/are the only one(s) that care.
Cool beginning, but the narrative was getting a bit annoying though. Too much interaction with the audience, you never give us a chance to get into the story. Every time you wave to the audience you're enforcing our sense of disbelief, the exact opposite of what a story wants to do. Every once and awhile is fine but don't become dependent on it.
Also the mirror scene annoyed me, but if that's his character than I hope you put him through the ringer. I've seen heroes start out as worse.
That's my criticisms, take from it what you will.
6496578 It does kinda say that in the description
that ending... you have my attention
Intro was shaky, thought you were gonna lose me with that sort of 'I'm the story teller' beginning, but it came together really quick. As for the ending, consider me hooked, I do hope this will go well for you.
6496930
Pff, you say that almost like The Guardians admitted to floating around doing nothing while knowing Krypton was going to blow up. ((Still, wish the comics now a days were still the yellow-impurity guys, they at least were trying to protect people... at least until each successive "reboot" took them farther and farther away from being, you know, moral))
6497476 the most hilarious thing is that the Guardians died by the hand of Sinestro after they thought that the only way to save life was if only they had any free will
6497561
No, the most hilarious thing would be that every lantern user is depleting the magical fuel that powers their universe before the fantasy of universal heat-death comes as a byproduct, which was only ever found out by a being from their last universe who claimed to be a scientist but never had a single shred of actual evidence to prove his point ((literally saying that he would totally be proven right if only he could get past the wall of the universe which no one can get, feel, see, or sense beyond)), is then proven "right" anyway as the Lantern Spirits marshal behind the White Spirit to burn themselves to keep their universe going, and it will only work if they have all of them, which they all go and do ((but not with Parallex even though it was plainly stated that everyspirit was needed)).
So now every single Lantern Color is officially a bad-guy because they are draining away the life-force of their Universe. *eye-sight blurs* AREN'T TODAY'S SUPER-HERO COMICS ****ING WONDERFUL?!!?
6497606 Lights Out never happened remember buddy?
Not bad, but you probably should not have uploaded this chapter alone, it feels a bit to short, probably because not much happened.
6500201
I was too disgusted by the story to do any research on it. It was published, period, and that was good enough of a reason to never pick up a Green Lantern comic for this decade.
Still, glad to know at least that bit of socialist-drek is untrue (not canon), but there is still far too much of that kind of stuff floating around for me to so much as look in the general direction of either Marvel or DC.
6500978 I meant it as a joke... it actually is still a thing.
6501315
...wings wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/kikn.com/files/2012/10/Chicken-Wings-2.jpg
6503854
So, who is getting the hope ring? Celestia, Cadance, or Luna? The first two are for fairly obvious reasons considering the world, where as Luna because she both needs it and has it at the same time for different things. Also, there are three different easy to accept names for human pegasi, aetherials, Valkyries, and straight up pegasi. All of these largely avoid religion. But no, let's call them Angels and get Christian symbolism in early.
6525889 I was raised in a Christian home, so the first thing that pops into my head when I think humans with wings is angel, just like the first thing to come to mind when thinking of humans with horns or a horn is a dæmon, hell I was planning on calling Celestia and Luna nephlem. Anyway Angels are not exclusively Christian, they also appear in Islam and Judaism. I only choose to call them that because most people know that an angel looks like a person with flipping wings.
6528186 I just wish you went one of the other routes, rather than one every time I read it I am going to have to remind myself that Malthael and Michael aren't going to by debating philosophy at some point. Also, with Valkyries you can use Norse mythology and no one bats an eye, aetherials only reference the ether, and leaves you room to say exactly what you want about them, and every one on this site knows what a Pegasus looks like and many of us can direct you to a generally accepted interpretation of a scale between human and pony with measurable differences between each one.
You had me at error 404...I await your mental breakdown.
God damit you beat me to it
Patiently waiting for next chapter... You have caught my interest, good sir.
Still waiting... Patiently waiting...
Paige: loading...
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6528186
um hello? Anypony there?
It's anybody pinky
oops sorry
It's okay
6496204 hey when are ya gonna continue this?
I would like to have a new chapter please.
Another thing, this is probably not the place for it, but does a Twilight story exist, where Twilight has a more or less equally talented sister, that was sepperated from her after birth somehow? To make it a bit more interessting, I would like her sister to have a more mean, realistic or just Human way to think about stuff (kind of more like Luna seems to do since she comes from the past in a way.
I would also like if her sister wouldn't e a pushover in said story, like being reformed from just being near them. I kind of like the characters that are hard to convince, that maybe even are totally not interessted in another person, and only after they made a certain person sad, they may be able to slowly come around, without really changing much of their personality.
Besides interacting with the audience far too much, there was one more major thing wrong with this story, at least for me.
Humanized ponies.
It's hardly a Displaced story when you have made the humans ponies. Part of a Displaced fic is the fact he's the only one of his kind there, either human, martian, Dovah, or whatever, among ponies. If you get rid of that, you a lot of what makes a Displaced fic, Displaced.
Three years later... No new updates... Sigh... Add to the pile of dead fics
This is totally worth more
This is always sad. I find a really good fic only to find out that it is possibly dead due to there being no news from the author for a couple years. This story has potential that I'm hoping gets utalized.
hay do more chapters