Trees, branches, and clumps of snow whizzed past Rainbow Dash's vision.
She grimaced slightly, twitching in a heavy metal grasp.
At last, the horizon pivoted as she dipped. The mare gasped, then threw her vision ahead. She saw a decrepit barn lying in the midst of a sparse forest. The figure carrying her aimed straight for a gaping hole in the structure's roof.
Thwoooooosh!
The two landed with insane grace. At the end of such a blindingly swift flight, Rainbow was gently placed down onto the frosty ground. She stood—trembling slightly—and spun around.
A mess of feathers retreated swiftly into the shadows, talons scraping. The figure rummaged through a pile of supplies.
Rainbow's maw dropped. "Wildcard...?"
She heard the crunching of snow behind her.
"...?" Rainbow spun around completely.
A stone blue figure stood in the shadows on the other side of the barn.
Rainbow's eyes narrowed.
The figure shuffled slowly forward, coming into the snowlight. Rainbow saw a scruffy brown beard, a brown mane, and a pair of dull hazel eyes... glaring.
"Bard!" Rainbow's feathertips fluttered. Both her right and left. She winced in pain, but was nevertheless a smiling mess. "Omigoshomigoshomigosh!" She spun back and forth between the rummaging griffon in the corner and the deadpan stallion in the center of the barn. "You guys! You guys are here! Luna Poop! You have no friggin' idea how... h-how jazzed I am to see you!"
Bard took a deep, surly breath. He folded his forelimbs and looked away.
Rainbow blinked at that.
"Uh ohhhhhh..." Pinkie Pie gulped.
"My my..." Rarity leaned in. "...quite a forest Mr. Bard has grown on his chin."
"He... doesn't seem too cheerful," Twilight Sparkle remarked. "Not very like him."
"Is it not?" Fluttershy asked.
"Shhhh!" Pinkie pointed. "I think Bardy's about to say something!"
Bard simply clenched his jaw tight and glared off into the corners of the bar.
"Eheheheh..." Pinkie smiled nervously. "Or not!"
"It... is you..." Rainbow squinted. "...right, Bard?"
Bard inhaled, tilting his head up and keeping his flank to Rainbow.
Rainbow opened her muzzle to say something—
Th-Thwump! A bag landed behind her.
"...!" The mare spun, startled.
With dark feathers and even darker goggles, Wildcard squatted beside the bag and began untying it. He looked up, his lenses flickering in the gray snowlight. He lifted his talons and hand-signed swiftly.
"What... uhm... what's going on with you dudes?" Rainbow remarked.
Suddenly, Bard spoke, "'You was doin' fine on yer own until these last two days. Now yer drawin' too much attention to yerself, which is why we had to intervene.'"
Rainbow flashed a look at the bearded pegasus. "Wait... what?" She blinked. Hard. "You guys were following me?"
"Is that true?" Twilight gasped.
"If so, I-I didn't sense them," Fluttershy stammered.
Bard stood in silence, his back to Rainbow Dash.
"Hellooo." Rainbow's brow furrowed. "You gonna answer me or what?"
Wildcard hand-signed, then returned to the bag.
At last, Bard spoke: "'We had eyes on ya, but we had to be elsewhere.'" His voice was dull and emotionless, as if he was reading off a telegram. "'We've still got some loose ends to wrap up, but dun worry. I'm gonna hook ya up with some thangs to help ya get past them varmints in Steamfall.'"
Rainbow's eyelids fluttered in confusion. She flashed a look between Bard and Wildcard. "What... what's going on here?" She gulped. "Bard... why are you being so stand-offish?"
Wildcard paused in what he was doing. Fidgeting, he flung a few hesitant talons through the air.
Bard took a deep breath and spoke: "'Bard ain't talkin' to ya right now. This was my idea from the very start."' The stallion's nostrils flared. "'Just as it was my idea to go fetch the Job Squad so you could finish yer journey.'"
"Uhhhhhh..." Rainbow's head jerked back and forth. At last, she squinted at Wildcard. "...what?"
"I'm c-confused," Fluttershy squeaked.
Wildcard sighed. With a nervous smile, he gestured in the air.
Bard's voice rang behind Rainbow Dash: "'Bard protested from the very start, but t'ain't no matter. He's here 'cuz I'm here. And while I'm too busy to escort ya, that dun mean I can't lend a talon where it helps.'"
Swiveling, Rainbow narrowed her eyes on Bard. "Really?" Her ears twitched. "Is that so?"
Bard frowned into the shadows. The muscles in his folded forelimbs tightened.
Wildcard shifted where he sat.
"Well then... Wildcard..." Rainbow Dash smirked devilishly in Bard's direction. "The next time you see Bard, you tell him that he's a smelly off-key melon fudge, and that his new beard looks like the inside of a buffalo's dirty buttcheeks."
"Snkkkkkt!" Bard gnashed his teeth. Her jerked in place, hissing. "Sonuva—" As quickly as he started, her froze in place, locked into an iron frown.
"But..." Rainbow Dash's ears folded back as she sighed through a soft grin. "...make sure he knows that I'm super... super happy to see him."
Bard breathed in and out. His hazel eyes swam across the dark confines of the barn.
Rainbow turned towards the griffon. "And you too."
Wildcard's dark goggles reflected the double faces of an apologetic mare.
"No words can properly share how friggin' sorry I am for what I did in the Quade." She gulped hard. "And it was a totally idiotic thing to send you two away... especially after you saved me." A cough. "Multiple times."
Her marefriends hovered in tense silence.
The mute griffon exhaled. Looking away, he gestured sharply in the air.
"'We ain't got much time,'" Bard said.
Wildcard pulled a few things out of the bag and resumed hand-signing.
"'We've gotta hurry our keisters northeast to Lichen Prefecture to find the last members of the Job Squad.'"
"Who in the blue fudge is this Job Squad?" Rainbow asked.
"'Old partners of the Desperadoes. Before Bard's time.'" The stallion snorted, adjusting his black stetson. "'Like I said. T'was my idea, not his.'"
"Well, alright then." Rainbow Dash nodded at the griffon, then cracked her joints. "Let's get going—"
Wildcard dramatically held a metal palm out, glinting in the pale light. He shook his head.
"'No?!'" Twilight reacted.
"What do they mean?!" Rarity breathed.
Rainbow blinked. "What's wrong?'"
Wildcard gestured.
Bard interpreted: "'There's too much at risk now. You're bein' hunted. We can't delay you gettin' to yer destination.'"
"Yeah! I know!" Rainbow nodded. "So are you gonna come with me or not?"
Wildcard sighed and gestured.
"'You won't survive yer journey unless we round up the Job Squad.'"
"Why not?"
"'It'd take too dang long to explain. But ya need them. So while Bard and I go fetch them, you've gotta make yer way to Wyvern Point.'"
Rainbow nodded. "Ah, I see—"
"Wait, what?!" Twilight sputtered.
"Wait..." Rainbow's eyes bulged. "What?!"
Th-Thwump! Wildcard dumped a black button-up uniform at Rainbow's hooves.
"'Here,'" Bard interpreted as the griffon paced across the barn, collecting more equipment and adding it to the pile. "'These here duds were grabbed from the lockers in Steamfall. They should fit ya... help ya blend in with the Consortium fellas.'"
"And just what in the hay am I supposed to be doing in Steamfall?!" Rainbow cackled.
Wildcard shuffled up, shrugged, and gestured.
"'Hijack a train, of course,'" Bard said.
"A train?!? Grkkkk!" Rainbow clenched one eye shut as if she burst a vessel. "Yo... dudes... what the buck?! Like... seriously!" She scampered after Wildcard's tail-feathers with an incredulous expression glued to her muzzle. "Are you trying to help me or aren't you?!"
Wildcard's talons sliced the air.
"'We are. But as I plum told you, the Job Squad—'"
"Look, I get it! You're trying to round up 'the old gang' for some important half-assed reason." Rainbow frowned. "But what's hijacking a train got to do with any of this?"
"'Because without bein' able to fly, a train's the quickest way you can get through Dust Prefecture and reach Wyvern Point to the northwest.'"
"That... it..." Rainbow's muzzle hung in the air. She flashed her marefriends a stupid look and received four identical expressions back. At last, she squinted at Wildcard again. "Wyvern Point."
The feathered mercenary nodded.
"Uhm... yeah..." Rainbow leaned back on her haunches and folded her forelimbs. "I don't know if you remember the whole Austraeoh thing. Y'know... east horse? Flying towards the rising sun?"
Wildcard nodded again while rummaging through supplies.
"Well, in case you have forgotten..." Rainbow frowned and gestured. "Wyvern Point is kinda sorta northwest of here!" Her wide eyes reflected in Wildcard's emotionless goggles. "Oh yeah! I know! A shriveled old lady in Kunmane told me!"
Wildcard stared at her, stared off into the shadows... then shrugged.
"Wildcard!!" Rainbow sputtered, forelimbs flailing. "Dude! I'm supposed to be heading east! That's where Yaerfaerda's pointing me! That's where Verlax is waiting!" She shuddered, her breath forming vapors in the sparse light. "...where Applejack is needing to be saved..."
Wildcard paused to gesture.
"'We know,'" Bard interpreted. With a soft expression, he looked over. "'But if ya keep hoofin' it on this journey alone, you'll plum kill yerself.'"
Wildcard nodded, then added a few more talon-swipes.
"'Or get nabbed by the Talon, which I can promise you is just as bad.'"
"They have a point here, Rainbow Dash." Twilight Sparkle leaned in to murmur. "You've always excelled when you had help."
Fluttershy nodded. "It certainly wouldn't hurt to accept any assistance at this point."
Twilight smiled. "Remember Eljunbyro."
Rarity nodded. "The Noble Jury."
"Yeah!" Pinkie nodded. "And the Lunar Ninth!"
"I know, girls, but it's just—" Rainbow's eyes crossed, and she grimaced at Pinkie. "The heck?"
"'We've got friends at Wyvern Point who can help ya. And you can bet yer bottom bit that the creatures that there place is named after can be trusted.'" Bard waited until Wildcard finished hand-signing some more words before interpreting: "'And once Bard and I show up with the Job Squad, then we'll be ready to get the show rollin'.'"
"That's all well and good, but... like..." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Can't we just head east now? I mean... is Rohbredden so dang awful that we can't take it on? Just the three of us?" A twitching grin. "Like old times?"
Wildcard and Bard stared at her.
"... ... ..." Rainbow Dash blinked. Her eyes rolled. "Unnnnnnnnngh..." She rubbed her muzzle then waved her forelimbs. "Okay okay okay! Fine!" A deep sigh, and she muttered, "But still... don't you think that it's... it's..."
"Counterintuitive," Twilight suggested.
"—counterintuitive to say that I need help and then... j-just send me packing on my lonesome?!" Rainbow frowned. "I've heard enough about Dust Prefecture and Wyvern Point to know that it's no friggin' walk in the park. I mean... how do I know you're not just sending me some far off place to die?"
"She brings up a good point," Rarity murmured. "She did rub them the wrong way in the Quade."
"Shhhhh!" Twilight hissed, eyes locked on the Desperadoes. "Not now, Rarity."
"I'm just saying..."
"They don't seem cruel enough to abandon Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said.
"I'm with Team Flutters on this one!" Pinkie grinned wide. "Despies for lyfe!"
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, looking in particular at Wildcard. "Well?!?"
Bard glanced aside at his partner.
Wildcard's beak clenched and unclenched. He sliced the air with flesh and metal talons.
"Ahem..." Bard looked at Rainbow Dash. "'You won't be alone. Part of why we was gone for so long was that we searched far and wide for Remna. She's gonna be yer ticket to Wyvern Point.'"
"Remna?" Rainbow Dash blinked. "Who's Remna?"
"Who's Remna?!" Bard blurted. "Only the most bang-up bounty hunter in the history of Rohb—" He bit his own tongue, turning instantly mute. Clearing his throat, he took a step back with a frown.
"... ... ..." Rainbow looked at Wildcard.
The griffon rolled his goggled eyes and gestured swiftly.
At last, Bard continued: "'Remna's taught me everythang I know about bounty huntin'. Dun worry, she won't double-cross us or nothin'. I paid her somethin' no other client ever can ever hope to surpass.'"
"You... uh..." Rainbow fidgeted. "You sure about this?"
Wildcard gestured.
"'Also, she owes me big time. Call it a code of honor.'"
"Alright... so lemme get this straight..." Rainbow Dash pointed at the clothes. "You want me to put on this uniform... pose as a Consortium worker... waltz into Steamfall... steal a train... then look for a bounty hunter chick named Remna who'll escort me to Wyvern Point while the two of you hop around looking for a bunch of old traveling partners to round up?"
Wildcard and Bard exchanged glances. They both looked at Rainbow Dash. Bard nodded while Wildcard held a metal thumb's up.
"Well, you have to admit..." Rarity smiled crookedly at Rainbow Dash. "...at least they're loyal."
"The one in goggles is cute," Fluttershy said, giggling.
"Darling, don't you even start." Rarity fanned herself.
"Soooooooo... okay..." Rainbow Dash picked at the dark uniform. "...let's say I actually play along with this craziness." She looked up at the two. "Where am I to run into Remna? I mean... like... what does she even look like? How am I to find her?"
Bard looked at Wildcard with an expression just as inquisitive as Rainbow's.
Wildcard forced a smile and gestured.
"'Dun you worry...'" Bard looked back at Rainbow. "'You won't find her. She'll find you.'"
Twilight and Pinkie grimaced.
"Why... do I not like the sound of that?" Rainbow wheezed.
About as warm of a reunion with those two as could be hoped for right now, I suppose.
Sounds like they've got a serious plan, though. And at least they've bought Dash a little more time. Now I wonder about this Remna character...
lul
Wasn't Remna, like, already the name of somepony in Ynanhluutr?
Well that was unexpected...
tsundereBard pls
Ho boy, this is becoming a thing. Ah well, nothing else to do but sit here and wait for the next chapter.
I'm so insanely happy to see these two dudes!
Damn it, Pinkie! Breaking the fourth wall is... oh... right... never mind.
Sounds incredibly stupid. Perfect plan!
Long and boring.
Remna.
Roarke.
Bounty hunter.
Hmmm...
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Surprising chapter
The Desperadoes are back!
Well...for now. Seeing as they're about to leave again.
I CALLED THIS.
Ey.
Though can someone tell me where the name "Lunar Ninth" came from?
Welp... I guess that's the name of our sub fandom
And she's totally hot, too.
So IC's trying to give us this Remna pony to make up for a lack of smexy times with Longaze?
Gdi I wanted to see Longaze and Rainbow hook up somehow
Uh, why is Bard suddenly referring to himself in the third person? What made them decide to follow Rainbow Dash? Who is Renma? Why do they need to gather the whole gang back together? I have so many questions!!!!
Edit: scratch the first question, I just realized that it was Wildcard talking through Bard.
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Also, for those of you who were wondering, this is the second time a Remna has shown up. The first was in Ynanhluutr. He was the guard in Shoggoth that Revan threw out into the water (chapter 150, 'Through the Door, Through the Window').
YES!
Flutters is down with interspecies romance it seems.
Something still seems off here.
They had eyes on but Flutters sensed no creature.
...I dunno... I'm not exactly buying this.
Wildcard, yeah, he seemed very reluctant to leave her behind even when she was shooing them off.
But Bard... no, he made it pretty clear how much he was mega pissed at her, and still is apparently.
-Companions have returned, inner darkness spurned. Utaan.
It's good to see these two again, even with all the awkwardness and hurt feelings. As curious as I am to meet this Remna broad, I'm perhaps more curious about this "Job Squad". Who are they, and why are they so necessary in assisting Rainbow?
Wait, If Renma was a male guard, and is now a female bounty hunter..
Renma 1/2 ?
Hope Dash dont get her wet.
Bard and Wildcard are calling together the last of The Silver Hoard?
Oh boy. If theyre going to pull off The Last Hero...
But first, The Great StTrinians Train Robbery.
6880335 We've also had two Terras.
Also, Wildcard gets all the incorporeal mares.
Unless Roarke gave lessons on hunting to WC from across the blight, pretty sure it's not her.
I have never commented on this story before, but I am now just to say how happy I am Bard and Wildcard are back.
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Lunar Ninth came from a badly anagramed Ynanluutr. Some of the new guys were trying to make their own little sub-group.
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iirc, it was Whizzball(could be wrong) who started the Lunar Ninth back in Ynan, because the Nobe Jury blew up in Yaerf and he felt the need to come up with a new name for the group since the jury was technically destroyed.
6880489 Wasn't it an anagram of the proper spelling of Ynanhluutr?
That was the story I saw in the comments.
6880450 Two Zettas as well.
Here we go again.
So, I take it Remna is the Rohbredden Roarke? Definitive smexy badass bounty hunter that will try to capture RD, fail to defeat her, then fall in love with her and become part of Rainbow's love 'em and leave 'em harem army? What would be the ship name for that? Rembow?
Always.
Of course.
God bless Pinkie, and long live the comment section.
So many things yes with this chapter:
WC and Bard are back;
Bard is now Trixie;
A Great Train Robbery is being planned;
The Lunar Ninth got a callout;
Not just dramatic, but dramatic.
Oh man I loved how Bard had to speak for Wildcard while still trying to shun Dash.
Looks like the Desperadoes have another member, if only in spirit.
6880192 We'll know if suplexes are exchanged.
I'm kind of sad Bard is still not on speaking terms with Rainbow Dash, but I suppose it is to be expected. He seemed to take the betrayal at the quade much harder than Wildcard did.
Eh, he will come around eventually... right?
Well, that's not how I expected things to go. I mean, I didn't expect everything to go smoothly, especially because of how the group split up, but I'm surprised that Bard won't even talk with Rainbow. Nonetheless, I'm quite glad to see them again and I'm anxious to see what plan they've cooked up for Rainbow.
Seems like Bard ain't the greatest at forcible silence. Hey, at least he's got the best mentor this side of the Blight.
I feel like a fat round puppy that's had it's saucer of warm milk and is now safely wrapped up in blanket number one.
You have no idea how wide my grin is right now (though I dare say not as wide as Pinkie's).
This has been a good day.
looks like another quest!
Well Bard is still mad, I don't really blame him though. I have a feeling he will come around quickly though. Looks like Wildcard is going to be getting Rainbow another Nobel Jury of sorts; It will never replace the original but hopefully they will be an Awesome Substitute.
6880218 Stop stealing Nick's thunder.
6880335 and you! Stealing poor Austraeoh Fact Checker's job!
I loved the "I'm not talking to you... Let me translate this for you" attitude from Bard, it was delicious. I'm happy to see them again.
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See, this is what's so confusing though. The Jury is still around, if not presently represented in the fic. Nobody's renamed it, and Pilate wouldn't stand for that sort of thing if they tried. The Noble Jury is the 'Straeoh Skype group, and has been since long before there was an elk with a ship.
Who exactly is this Lunar Ninth group?
Bit on-the-nose, isn't it?
Don't you get it? There are no brakes on the Six Tribes Express.
P.S. Make sure the "borrowed" train has working brakes.
Lil bummed out that bards still upset with rainbow but I totally understand why he would be. Hope they patch things up. Some of us called it awhile back that they were following rainbow. Bars and rainbow need a heart to heart.
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in the story? no damn clue. In the comment section, whoever decides to call themselves a part of it.
Slight detour guys and gals. Now, I know it's going to be a pretty difficult thing but we need to go not east.
Remna will take Dash to her bounty hunter city so a friendly doctor can fix her wing, but a giant lesbian will throw Dash in the colosseum and it will end in revolution.
So Wildcard did follow her the whole time ?
Hmm i guess he is determined, the question is why ?
If he was a member of the Talon and saw Verlax' Avatars speaking to her he might consider her as worth protecting, or the thing with nightmare moons defeat, which also seemed to be something personal for him.
I can't theorize much with the few information i have but that won't stop me
the theory might just be a bit more wacky than usual.
So what if Wildcard is in the "i am secretly (carrying ?) verlax' Club ? Verlax apparently wants Dash to continue her journey and she went so far to intervene directly to free her. What if Wildcard went to Verlax' throne room when Nightmare Moon refused to lower the Moon, from his perspective it probably would have been a problem with Verlax because he didn't know about NM at that time.
As a former member of the Talon he probably broke some kind of codex by doing that or used some kind of special loophole and since the sun came back they probably also assumed that he somehow made it. But he didn't return and uh .. law and stupid rule stuff prevented them from investigating what happened to him.
What if Verlax snatched him somewhere at that point and somehow possessed him, either with or without his knowledge, the frost Golems seem to appear in not previously prepared places when he is around, he covers his (maybe blue frosty ?) eyes and does not speak to not speak in verlax bold.
I know its totally far fetched and i just made it up from like 2 events but it still somehow brings up the question .. what if ? right RIGHT !?
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Remna was the one who got chucked out the airlock underwater by Revan and provided evidence after the seaponies rescued him.
But this Remna is a she, so they're not the same.
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Wait...did I just get the Zetta / Terra treatment?! (and anyone else who got more than one character and I can't remember right now)
Pinkie...
6881120 Austraeoh fact checker, Any idea how many times we've had characters with names that were previously used by Or had a Very similarly named character earlier?