• Member Since 9th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 36 minutes ago

silverspawn


23, male, utilitarian, effective altruist, rationalist, writer, vegetarian, atheist, INTJ


T

A spell gone wrong teleports Twilight and Rarity outside the borders of the world. Here, amidst a wasteland of barren soil and neverending rain, there is neither food nor shelter to be found.

In the absence of former responsibilities, and with the looming prospect of death being closer than ever before, they begin to open up towards each other. There is no place for dignity or restraint when you have nothing left to lose.

But in the end, none of it matters. Their only hope for survival is to get back to the world before they starve.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 37 )

A little bit of background information (if anyone cares):

- I imagine this story taking place somewhere after or even mid season 1, when the main 6 only know each other for maybe half a year.
- Idea is inspired by Lost and Found, which I'm currently at. Lost and Found goes in a completely different direction with the premise, but just the idea of having two of the main 6 be put somewhere far away was intriguing to me. I also copied the idea of using the elements as a plot device; they're so unexplained that I think you can do a ton of stuff with them without breaking suspense.
- Cover Image is taken from the album F#A# ∞. Conveniently, the music fits the story rather well too, in a strange way.
- Writing was/is not chronological.

I just don't see this ending well and am bracing myself :fluttercry:

Interesting. I take it the major point is to explore the relationship between two ponies under stress, but in problem-solving mode will suggest that Twilight has a variety of magical things she could potentially do, even at season one levels. And Rarity, and presumably Twilight are wearing their Elements, which must be exploitable in some fashion.

6462735 Yeah, that glaring yellow 'Tragedy' tag up there doesn't bode terribly well... :twilightoops:

Honestly, the real tragedy here is tHE INCOMPLETE TAG.

I love the descriptions and the characterization, and though I know that tragedy tag will probably end up with me feeling awful when this ends, I can't wait for the next chapter.

I find this story interesting. I can't wait to see what happens to the girls here.

There being worn down. Worn down so very quickly...

:raritywink: Twilight dear when we get home I'm going to take Spikey on his first date, Is that all right with you?
:twilightsheepish: Sure it will make is wish come true.
:duck: Thank you Twilight I'm so going to screw his brains out! thank you so much. . .you're such a dear. . .
:twilightoops:

:duck: How do you think Spikey is taking our being missing?
:twilightoops: Spike? He's probably crying for both of us while making breakfast
:raritystarry: Breakfast?! Oh NO! SWEETIE BELLE!

:pinkiegasp: Raritys boutique is burning down!
:rainbowhuh: Did you see Raritys fainting couch it just went through my favorite napping cloud!
:unsuresweetie: sorry it went that away ------->

6585491 twilight isnt unless it go sent along whith her

there on the moon arnt they cant explain the rain or the crows (maby nightmare moon)

plz let them get out of this i dont think its going to happen at least i dont think one of them is going to make i think twilight will make it just so she has to live with the guilt

This three is not enough for over a dozen birds.

"This tree" ?

6741178

ah, good catch. Not sure how it happened; I read through this like a dozen times before I published it, but thanks.

The ending felt fitting, though the romance felt perhaps a little forced--perhaps the idea at least could have been introduced earlier? Otherwise, though, I have no complaints; the piece was short and achieved what it set out to do. Good on you.

6758694

I see what you mean. I think the reason why I didn't foreshadow it in any way was because, in my mind, there is nothing to foreshadow. The ending isn't about love, neither of them actually fell in love with the other, it's just about the idea of 'let's make the best out of the final five minutes we have,' and that doesn't work until they've given up.

I also don't think that something romantic would have happened between them had they made it home.

6758774 Well, that's fair then; it seems odd to me that the story is tagged romance, then, but I suppose it makes sense. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading the fic (and how convenient of me to read the first half the day before the rest was posted???) There's something refreshing in the utter hopelessness of their situation.

Well, I hoped at least one of them would make it in the end; but at least neither of them were alone.

Darn it, Silverspawn, I knew this was coming and you still got me in the feels. :rainbowlaugh:

-well....fuck i kew i shouldnt have read this not that the writing isnnt excelent but i havve to stay away from sad and tradgety fics involving twilight they depress me something fierce

6758994 Haha, I know how you feel. There are several stories here - good stories - I wish I'd never read. :rainbowlaugh:

6769629 yeah i made the mistake of reading ' the assasination of twilight' depressed for like a week

I liked the magic bit, "architectural stage" and all that. Very comfy stuff before it all goes wrong.

Wow, you must have spent a good long while thinking this first half of this chapter up: how to write absolutely nothing but walking and suffering with so many words. You actually manage to get into that stuff. This chapter should be called "Meditations on Pain".
The other half was a lot darker. Now I can't stop hearing "World of Midnight" from Black Lagoon.

Well, if there's a mystery to be solved, maybe all hope isn't lost.
I wish you'd mention sometime whether or not Rarity is still wearing her element necklace, already. I'd assume she is. Wish Twilight would at least consider trying something with it, maybe send a signal back to the other elements.

Oh, there goes, Element of Generocity.
>Twilight had not spent a spent a single thought => delete one "spent a"
I suspect the bleak fields are changing our little ponies. Perhaps their blood will turn black now.

Not exactly feels. But yeah, that's pretty much the way of it.
I think the best word is evocative.

At least they found enlightenment.

7136595
Yeah, that chapter... that was pretty much at the peak of my emotional attachment, second only to the ending. I wrote it all in one sitting, of course, but it's been taking shape in my head a while before that. It was partially inspired by this image which I'd been using as cover image for another story that I'll prob never publish.

7136641
Shit. And here I was convinced there wouldn't be any grammar errors left. They're the worst in these kinds of stories, take you immediately out of the experience. Well, me at least, when I'm reading. Thanks.

7136730
*profound sobbing*

Though fwiw I actually really do believe in what I've been writing about there, it wasn't just because I needed a big revelation for Twilight or something. I haven't been able to do this myself, but there are no shortage of people who've benefited greatly from it. I also think it's a message that's popping up at numerous places in various variations, and most people will get in touch with some instance of it at some point or another, but usually won't take it seriously or draw any connection.

For Twilight, it just makes me feel even more sad for her, since she only benefits from it so shortly.

Oh god I sense feels coming :fluttercry:

RIGHT IN THE FEELS

Hm... interesting opening and great ending. Never did I expect a sad and probably heart tearing psychological story to start with such randomosity. I don't know what led to the mane 6 drinking themselves off their flanks, but I reckon I will find soon enough...

So far really enjoying the story and the character mental development under such circumstances. I'll give you a long proper review once I reach the end :raritywink:

Just a line that caught my eye and I though I could share a fact or two...

I am far from an expert on animals, but never have I heard of an animal with a blood that has a color other than red. Why should nature go such a strange path?

It's really common for invertebrates such as crayfish or some snails to have blue 'blood'. Some annelids have green blood.

From what I have heard from you, I was expecting a story where every chapter will include an elaborate about pain and suffering, depressing the reader. However, such description doesn't fit the story at all.
Instead, I see it as a piece documenting not only a pony's state of mind and its changes under such circumstances, but also an interesting view on friendship between Twilight, Rarity and the rest of Mane 6. I mustn't forget to mention the deep thoughts about magic and energy trapped on the pages nor the notions about the world and life itself.
It was a great read, thank you for it :twilightsmile:

7957454
Ah. I admit I did not think to do research there. That might be worth changing. Rarity could be as ignorant as I was, but Twilight would probably know better. Well, there's also the thing that it's a different universe, but if something is mundane enough that real animals can have it, it's probably also a thing in Equestria.

7957537
I was a bit worried that it might be too dark for your taste. Glad that wasn't so.

There's actually a lot of worldbuilding that didn't make it into the story. The most basic idea was that the universe cares about feelings, unlike ours. Sentient creatures living in harmony and having lots of positive feelings increases the uh harmony density, which has a direct affect on the environment, hence why Equestria is so beautiful, but the remaining land less so. And the effect goes both ways; a low harmony density affects creatures, particularly ponies, and especially when their bodies and psyche are used to an environment with a super high density (and I always think of Ponyville as the most harmonious town in Equestria). So there's some of the weirder stuff explained, like Twilight suddenly not feeling the cold anymore. And it's how Equestria and the remaining land can organically (though gradually) grow as population increases.

Twilight and Rarity would in theory also affect the landscape, but unfortunately two ponies aren't enough to make a significant change, even if they were thoroughly happy. Lastly, I imagined a tiny part of the effects of each positive feeling to reach a much wider area, into the ring of land where the story takes place, between population and the rest of the infinite plane, where there's truly just earth and nothing else. The ring area has developed some kind of bizarre eco system that functions on the tiny amounts of harmony-energy-stuff that it gets from the populated world.

Heh, I never wrote this down before! :twilightblush:

I do agree that it's overall more about exploring Twilight's psychology than just her suffering, though the latter is what stuck in my mind the most.

7958720 It's common in invertebrates and their hemolymph, but I don't think many people know it. Twilight is more centered around magic, but it's still possible she has read something about it. If you want to know more about it, look up hemocyanin and chlorocruorin :raritywink:

As long as a whole story isn't about ponies slicing and grinding each other and nothing else, I can bear it.

That's an interesting bit of theory, thank you for sharing it! Now all the remaining details fall in place. Really great mechanism :twilightsmile:

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