• Member Since 25th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Chaotic Note


.

E
Source

A new family member of the Sparkle family has been hatched and Spike couldn't be more excited. However as time went on, he learned that taking care of a baby phoenix isn't as simple as any other bird and the responsibility tests his resolve to be a caretaker for Peewee.


Entry for Skeeter's Switcheroo Contest. Based on Season 4 Episode 16 It Ain't Easy Being Breezies.
Cover Art - Phoenix Down by ChaosFissure


Story's Raw Reviews:
~ The Raw
~ The Rawest

Chapters (2)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 12 )

Entry noted!

Good luck in the contest!

~Skeeter The Lurker

This is an amazing story. Good job.

6219257
Thanks. Although I think this story is the weakest link among all the entries.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Since when are sunflower seeds not birdseed? O.o

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

It might help if you read the dialogue aloud to yourself to see how it sounds. Most of it just didn't sound the way people talk, not to me.

6237643
My writing is very rusty. More rust than Mars.

I've reviewed this story (and the other contest entrants, minus mine) here. Good luck tomorrow! :twilightsmile:

6267591 gee thanks for reminding me how rusty my writing is. Again :rainbowlaugh:
Though I appreciate your real feedback. It's been a couple years since I did a serious attempt for a full story and I needed to know what the damage is from that

6268581
Hopefully the advice is useful in shaking that rust off!

I meant it, though, this has some bright spots for being your first story in so long. I think as you get back into it you'll see quick improvement, and even this story could be significantly better with an editing pass. I look forward to future tales. :twilightsmile:

6268870
Well my editor is coming back on Sunday. I could probably have him take a look at it.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!