Fic recs July 23rd: Present Perfect vs. The Switcheroo! · 9:27pm Jul 23rd, 2015
Skeeter the Lurker created a contest recently, the premise of which is "take an episode, keep the moral, switch out the main character(s)". It wrapped up earlier this week, and I've taken some time to read the seven entries, because seven entries. :V Of course, I also haven't posted recently, so have some news before I get to the reviews:
Scribbler started a reading of GhostOfHercalitus’s Whom the Princesses Would Destroy. I gave that story a 5/5 for its vs. post, so if you haven’t had a chance to listen to it, now’s the time!
Illya Leonov also did a reading of Skywriter’s Hoardsmiths!
H: 1 R: 2 C: 2 V: 0 N: 2
Fruit of the Problem by FanOfMostEverything
Genre: Slice of Life
Applejack starts to feel unwanted when everyone starts doing her chores.
Interestingly, this isn’t just based on Owl’s Well, it takes place at the same time. Weirdly, with as deeply as this is entrenched in headcanon about earth pony magic, it doesn’t actually feel like an episode, despite that synchrony. What this is is a great look into Applejack’s character, and how becoming the main character of a cartoon show might have affected her. (Without any meta context, that’s just my words.) Few people really approach AJ this way, but I think it’s the way she’s meant to be approached. On top of that, you’ve also got an insightful and supportive Granny Smith and a couple very funny scenes from Big Macintosh. Overall, a solid piece.
Recommended
One Night at Fluttershy’s by PaulAsaran
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Genre: Comedy
After dropping a tree on their house, Fluttershy offers to take in Vinyl Scratch and Octavia during the storm. And then she decides to help them become friends...
This is fun for a number of reasons. It’s the first story with canon Vinyl Scratch I’ve read. (Well, that didn’t have “fanon Muteavia” anyway…) It’s an effort to reconcile season 5 canon with season 1 canon. And it’s Look Before You Sleep with Vinyl and Tavi. This story proves that I actually like these characters, I just don’t want to ship them. Putting Fluttershy in the middle of their tiff only makes it funnier. It’s paced well, feels like an episode (the author’s note is quite interesting on this account), and does what I think Skeeter was looking for quite well. It’s just so refreshing!
Highly Recommended
Why Earth Ponies Don’t Fly by spideremblembrony
Genre: Episode Reinterpretation
After Rainbow Dash is hurt, Applejack agrees to take her place in the Best Young Fliers’ Competition.
This is a funny idea, but the execution is a bit of a letdown after opening with two solid entries. The writing is plain, and the dialogue flat, and there are some odd word usage issues and errors in spelling and tense. Also, the plot involves making a glider for Applejack, which I just have to wonder about. Contest rules aside, why not just use the spell from Sonic Rainboom? You can’t really get aerobatic excellence with a machine. The spell does make an appearance, but it’s Pinkie who gets the first casting rather than Rarity. It makes for a different dynamic, but at its heart, this is still just Sonic Rainboom. I think it even includes some of the same dialogue. This definitely feels like it was written in four days.
Not Recommended
Princess Diamond Tiara by ABagOfVicodin
Genre: Diamond Tiara Redemption
Diamond Tiara’s 14th birthday present is to be Princess Twilight Sparkle’s assistant for a day.
For all the flak Princess Spike got, putting someone in his role who’s supposed to be incompetent and self-centered is a great idea. I will say that this goes maybe a little too far in trying to redeem her (that is, it happens awfully quickly), and it’s also a little haphazard, fast-paced and with occasional flat dialogue. Still, it’s fun.
Recommended If You Enjoy Watching Diamond Tiara Be a Rotten Little Shit
Sleepless in St. Maretinique by bookplayer
Genre: Shipping
Rainbow just cannot get away from her crush on Applejack, even when she's asleep.
So rather than Scootaloo having nightmares about monsters, this is a Sleepless in Ponyville where Dash has nightmares about the crush she can’t admit to having on Applejack. I gotta say, Rainbow’s internal “I don’t like romance” conflict felt awfully contrived, and doesn’t make for as much comedy as I’d have liked. (Though there’s certainly a lot!) Still, it’s in character for Dash to be concerned about liking AJ for the "right" reasons, i.e., because she’s awesome, and not because she’s pretty or she wants to snuggle or anything mushy like that. Appledashers will definitely not want to pass this up, and anyone who’s into shipping should give it a read as well.
Recommended for Shippers
Letting Peewee Go by Chaotic Note
Genre: Slice of Life
So this is It Ain’t Easy Being Breezies, with Spike finding out that Peewee is way hard to take care of. Sadly, it has a lot of issues. The cadence of the writing feels off, it’s overwritten to boot, it doesn’t take long for editing errors to crop up, and the dialogue feels terribly unnatural. Beyond that, the plot about the animal poacher just… it left me staring blankly at my screen. It doesn’t fit in with anything, and this doesn’t feel anything like the episode it’s based on. This is a swing and a miss.
Not Recommended
The Kindest Silence by horizon
Genre: AU
This is a retelling of Sonic Rainboom and Cutie Mark Chronicles, with Fluttershy performing the original Rainboom that led all the mane six on their paths. Well, “Rainboom” in a manner of speaking, which is the kind of the whole deal. And though this is well-worn material, the directions in which horizon takes it are remarkable. We see things like Rarity discovering her destiny is a rock, but what happens next is totally different. Spike gets a scene; so does someone who isn’t Twilight! And of course, with Fluttershy in Rainbow’s position, it’s not the Best Young Flyers’ Competition we’re concerned with. Again, this is a storyline well-tread, but horizon’s managed to breathe life into it once more, and that alone makes it worth the read. I will give a warning about explainy dialogue (not everything in this is equally amazing), but if you can handle that, check it out.
Recommended
Were it up to me, Paul Asaran would have this in the bag, but I'm not a judge, so it's anyone's game! :V Good luck!
Yeah, I have to agree with your assessment. One Night at Fluttershy's does everything I was trying to do without leaning on headcanon to do it. Still, it was a fun exercise. I don't write much Applejack; this was a nice way for me to get a better grasp on her character.
And, on a less self-centered note, we got some good stories out of it.
Uh, what? You didn't even touch the story. Talk about false advertizing.
A-Ha! I earned an H! I've been trying to get one of those for ages.
I'm glad to have your (unofficial) vote. We'll just have to wait until the end of the month to see if the judges agree with your assessment. The more I look at One Night at Fluttershy's, the more I think I should try writing more 'episode-like' stories in the same vein.
Also, I went ahead and added the comedy tag. I left it off originally because I don't trust myself to write good humor, but it seems I finally did a decent job.
Didn't Bad Horse put the mysterious emotes to rest? I thought he had the officially approved explanation. If D: isn't a little mine car like he said, my world is going to need re-evaluation.
3263722
I would not touch that story with a ten-foot pole, as a matter of fact. :B
3263932
And why not?
3263942
Because it's about incest. :B
Glad you enjoyed my story!
I'm going through the (other) entrants myself now that I actually have some reading time today.
Sigh, well I tried.
3264069
Like you said, you're rusty. Gotta start getting back into shape somehow!
3263961
So? I bet you'd love it. Don't know 'till you try!
Aw freak, I forgot about the Switcheroo! I was gonna do that. Darn.
3264168
No.
3264147
I may or may not do a revision on the whole thing. Working with two others to help me edit the story, so if that happens, would you give it a second round?
3264558
It won't matter much for the contest. I usually don't do second reviews unless you're planning on fundamentally changing the story. Eh, drop me a line, we'll see.
3264575
Wait are you actually a judge for the contest? Skeeter didn't list you as one. Also no I can't completely change the overall plot because that would go against the rules of the contest (I think).
If I had more time, I would have polished Princess DT more. Oh well! TY for the review, mate.
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3265428 oh
Nice reviews!
...And of course Gary promos on here as well...
Damn it Gary...
~Skeeter The Lurker