The Restoration Bureau

by pjabrony

The Restoration Bureau

Petal sat and played in the meadow by the river, sniffing the flowers and enjoying the feel of the grass. Her friends were somewhere behind her, back over the hill. For some reason she couldn’t remember, she felt embarrassed about going back to get them.

At heart she was a unicorn, and had been ever since she had first seen one as a little girl. Unicorns were kind and gentle, beautiful and noble. They never hurt anyone out of anger, never raised their horn except against the most fiendish of enemies. Whether in Narnia, or in Xanth, or in Hagsgate, or in Equestria, unicorns were always the ideal.

And so Petal thought of herself as one. Doing so hurt no one as she could see, and helped her cope with the world. Here, in the meadow in Equestria, she could—

But she couldn’t be in Equestria, because she was still a human. All her memories came flooding back. All of Earth, and her life, and the hard jobs she’d done and been fired from. That was why she couldn’t call her friends, because they were ponies and she…was dreaming. Now she understood. She was having a dream about being in Equestria, and now that she realized it, it would be a lucid dream.

The first thing to do, she realized, was to not think about that too hard. If she did, she would start wondering if she could will herself to wake up, which would collapse the dream and be counterproductive. The right thing would be to get back on her knees and keep playing with the flowers.

A lucid dream could be controlled, but she didn’t wish to control it. Just to be in Equestria, to breathe the clean air and feel the soft grass would be enough. Later on, she would drink from the river. If she was feeling bold, she would venture back over the hill. The ponies would welcome her, even though she was human. They were kind.

But not now, not tonight. She was too afraid. Equestria wasn’t for her.

“Petal.”

The voice seemed to be carried on the wind, ethereal and soft. She looked around. Not only was no one there, but there was no place for anyone to be. Even if the voice had come from beyond the hill, it would have been too far away for her to hear.

“Peeee-tal.”

Now it came again, stretching out. “Who’s there?” Petal called.

“It is We.”

The voice was right beside her, and Petal turned her head to see the starry mane of Princess Luna. As soon as she realized in whose presence she was, Petal fell to her knees again and buried her face in the grass.

“Your majesty,” she said, trying to keep her voice as small as possible.

“Grovel not. Such obsequiousness is barely tolerable at formal events, unwarranted in this bucolic setting. We are not here to command thee, but only to discover what troubles thy mind, and bring what succor we may.”

“You just want to talk?”

“To listen, yes.

And so Petal poured out her heart. All of the pain of her lost loves, and loves that were true but forbidden, and all of the hate she received for who she was and for what she did that affected no one, and all of the cruelty that was not directed at her, but that she was expected to ignore. All of it she told to her princess.

It seemed like she talked for years, for more time than it had taken to live her life. Princess Luna said nothing, but never did it strike Petal that she was giving any less than her full attention. And yet it was only when she concluded that she saw the princess look at her body. Throughout the one-sided conversation, Petal realized, Luna had been looking at her soul.

“Petal, someone has shorn the fur from thine body.”

It seemed incongruous, but she looked down at herself. It was the same body she had known all her life. She looked up at the princess, confusion in her eyes, but after all she had not been asked a question.

Again Luna spoke, her tone rising. “Petal, someone has thrice-cloven thine hooves!” She lifted her hands, and Luna looked closer. “Nay, we have erred. Four times has thy hoof been split. The pain must have been unbearable.”

Petal wanted to correct her, explain that it was natural, but Princess Luna gave her no time to respond, as she was staring right at her forehead.

With all the fury of the moon crashing to earth, she said, “Petal, someone has sliced thine horn from thy brow, rendering it impossible to correct these mutilations. We demand of thee, who is responsible for this? The terrors of Tartarus would not be enough punishment for such a violation of Our subjects. New spells of pain and punishment, We must derive when the rogue is brought to justice!”

Petal quaked at the princess’s wrath. Even though she understood that Luna was speaking of someone else, she still felt responsible. “No, please. It’s no one’s fault. Don’t sully yourself by trying to think of punishments. This is just my cross to bear.”

Luna seemed confused at the expression, then, as if digging into long-unused memories, she said, “To bear a cross is folly, especially when it is thee who are to be nailed to it. Set it down, rather, and be free.”

“I would like to be. But this is what I am. I’ve come to accept it. Soon, by your reckoning, I shall grow old and die, and then I won’t be a bother to anyone anymore.” Petal stood up. “This has been a lovely dream, and you are exactly the kind of Luna I would have conjured up. I have a good subconscious mind, at least. But now I believe I am going to wake up. It will be too painful to remember this in the morning.”

“A moment longer, please.” Princess Luna extended her wing over Petal’s head, and gave her the gentlest of touches. “Our powers are indeed limited to the world of night. But when the scars run so deep, We must consult Our sister. Yes, wake. But, we beg, do not feel pain. It is not for you.”

***

The bubble rising from the ocean was anticlimactic. It would have barely warranted a footnote in the story, except that the story did not need to be written. Everyone had seen it. The vision of Princess Celestia that had appeared in the sky spoke to all people in all languages. Even the hearing impaired were shown the message.

“My sister has brought to my attention that you poor souls were abandoned on a barren world, bereft of magic, unable to advance yourself save through exploitation of the earth that supported you. But fear not, dear children. Your call has been answered. Equestria is coming for you, to return you home. At present our finest thaumaturgists have been tasked with deriving a curative for the diminished state you find yourselves in. My sister and I are aware of your vast numbers, and indeed, we are proud of you for thriving under such harsh conditions. On the other hoof, we have looked into your history and seen the…activities you found it necessary to ensure such survival. But all this will be forgiven.

Nonetheless, since there are so many of you, we hope that your existing governmental structures will aid us in the logistics of helping all of you, before they can be mercifully disbanded. If you act reasonably, there will be no difficulty in establishing the locations where you will find help. We will work together. By the time our worlds meet, I have full confidence that we will be able to restore you to the ponies you were always meant to be.”

The restoration bureaus were established, and the potion was created. And of course Celestia’s message was overoptimistic, and the HLF and the PER were established, and there were many holdouts and many who leaped at the chance. But lives were saved, and good was done.

***

Petal sat and played in the meadow by the river, sniffing the flowers and enjoying the feel of the grass. Her friends were somewhere behind her, back over the hill. She got up and trotted to get them.

Comments

[Chatoyance]

That was a very sweet story, and interesting too. A decent understanding of lucid dream issues, too - have you had some?

I liked the framing device of ending with a reality where the story was begun with a fantasy. That was very nice.

[Rocky Runner]

What Chatoyance said... she literally stole the words from me.

[Defoloce]

The arrangement of Earth as a kind of "lost world" as it relates to Equestria, with Celestia returning to "reclaim" it is a pretty novel one. It reminds me of the premise of Stargate, where it turns out that humans are not native to Earth, merely dropped there to perform a function for a higher being. With an absentee landlord, they made the world their own. Of course, it could just as easily have been spin, a little trick of rhetoric to position Celestia as a returning owner simply taking back what was already hers. True or false, humanity's collective cynicism would have taken the claim with a grain of salt, I think.

It also raises parallels between the genre's themes and expansionist concepts like manifest destiny and divine right to rule. Celestia would seem the sort of character to dislike these notions, but conquerors have often soothed their consciences by convincing themselves that they are rescuers.

[pjabrony]

6154554 There was also probably some influence from Arthur C. Clarke's "Reunion." You're advised to seek it out. Actually, anyone is advised by me to seek out anything of Clarke's.

[Dafaddah]

6154572

I second the motion! And that was a beautiful little story, and a sweet homage to Chat, PJ!

[Gonefromhere]

Short, simple and sweet, just what I need before I head off to the realm of dreams myself.

...ah if only, I could use a dream therapy session myself.

[NachoTheBrony]

Hey, some new TCB!
Will read later!

[Westphalian_Musketeer]

Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

~ Matthew 16:24

[drone_r0m-3]

I... don't have the words to explain how I feel.

[Noble Cause]

This is... Beautiful. Thank you so much for writing this! I look forward to the next piece from you!

[pjabrony]

6154296 I have had one, a long time ago. I very rarely remember my dreams. I trust Luna to keep me safe there and don't worry about it.

[book_burner]

6154554 Indeed. That's why I can't help but feel suspicious of the speech, or rather, condescended to. I know that the alicorn Princesses, at least as PJA is clearly imagining them, mean well, but don't seem to get that a lot of us humans like being humans. Or, at the very least, have a positive, healthy self-image. Hating oneself isn't healthy for ponies, and it's not healthy for human beings either.

Besides which, we've got a lot to be genuinely proud of. We've unravelled the depths of reality and been to the moon. Yes, world peace will be very nice, but it shouldn't entail wiping out everything we did before "world peace".

I mean, I get that the whole friendly rescueCivilizing Mission is a genre trope here, but have they tried relating to us as equals and friends before just annexing our entire world?
6154572
You ok?

[pjabrony]

6157750

Me? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

[book_burner]

6157799 Because you're publishing an escape-fantasy.

[pjabrony]

6157816

Right, I've never done that before!

[book_burner]

6157988 Well all right then. Overall, indeed a very sweet story.

[Griseus]

Good work PJaBrony. This I get. It is good.

Wish I had dreams instead of nightmares always forever.

Maybe I can.

[Nexidava]

6157816

Book Burner, unless they actively have a deathwish or an immanent cure for mortality, I cannot imagine why anyone sane would not want an escape fantasy.

[Nexidava]

And pja, that was so very nice.

[book_burner]

6214592 Ok, this is getting debate-y... again, but I think this disagreement is pretty fundamental. Mortality is not the problem. At least, not mortality as in the final moment where you actually die, as such. Your body trying to constantly degrade into pain and uselessness unless you take very active care of it, that's a problem. Deprivation of all kinds, that's a real problem.

But the average lifespan in a developed country is in the 80s, and it's rapidly approaching that in developing countries. Nobody younger than 40 really has to worry all that much about dying any time soon. It's what happens to them while they're alive that makes them want to escape.

And you can only defeat a problem when you can face it head-on. Which reminds me, I need to get back to writing my fics. Buggering real life, being full of enjoyable things to do that aren't pony fanfic...

[Nexidava]

6215526

I'll agree to disagree. This isn't the place, and I don't have time or patience to participate well in a debate anyway.

[Tinandel]

6157816

Anyone and everyone indulges in escapist fantasies; the only question whatsoever is the degree to which they do so. Whether you daydream about becoming a sports star, or winning the lottery, or developing magical powers, or having your crush fall for you, or being transported to Equestria, EVERYONE does it.

6154554

It's an interesting 'what-if' scenario to be sure, and it raises some likewise interesting 'what-if's about whether or not it's a rhetorical trick, or propaganda, or whatnot. No doubt about it, not gonna dispute that point for a moment.

My issue, though, is this: We've analyzed the possibility of it being a false claim. What if, instead, it's absolutely correct?

Anyway... While the ponies are about as condescending as they typically are in TCB fiction, I've come to accept that as an unintentioned slight - it's unquestionably a failing on their part, but at the very least it's a well-meaning one. Hell, if they completely screw up the world in a misguided attempt to save it, that just makes them MORE like human beings, not less!

Still, it was a pretty sweet little story. There are broader implications, to be sure, but this story doesn't concern them. It was about one girl who found peace.

[book_burner]

6240197 See, couldn't we just have the uplifting bits without the condescending bits?

If you've got some finer, happier, more peaceful civilization available and are offering to uplift less-developed worlds, I want in on it. Also shape-shifting.

This story actually threads that needle really well by saying that, oh well, humans and "ponies" are the same fundamental kind of being, are therefore equals and friends rather than superiors and inferiors, but that humans suffered a disadvantage by having no magic to draw on. That doesn't make us inferior, just underprivileged.

Most TCB stuff, on the other hand, outright says we're inferior, and then moves on to sanction downright Lawful Evil behavior on the part of the ponies, because apparently whoever wrote it thought morality works on hierarchy.

[Tinandel]

6241782

I agree completely.

Personally, I kind of like it when the ponies are condescending.... to a point. It prevents them from being a little -too- perfect. It also gives them a meaningful way in which they can interact with humanity and perhaps even learn something from them, namely how some of their more pitying attitudes - however well-meaning and perhaps even justified - could be taken the wrong way. Likewise for humanity, it helps present some very solid emotional reasons for why a human being would resent Equestria. If you work hard all your life, take your lumps, pay your dues, and become successful, how would YOU react to someone treating you like you were little better than a leper?

But again, that's only up to a point, and only meaningful if it ultimately promotes character growth.

[tsaukpaetra]

This was nice.

[Sabboth]

Because this is the first Conversion Bureau fic I’ve ever read, now I am amusing myself with ideas for HLF and PER:
Human Love Foundation - a pony group dedicated to bettering humanity (humans wish they’d stop)
Human Liberation Front - a human group rebelling against the evil pony overlords
Happy Lives Forever - a human group using pony technology to research human life extension
Happy Loving Friends - a pony group that helps ponies adopt cuddly human pets, rescuing them from… their unpleasant circumstances
Princesses of Equestria Reunited - they meet every couple of months just to chat and stay in touch
People for Equal Rights - a human group ineffectually demanding better treatment from the evil pony overlords
Ponies for an Equestrian Republic - pony group with a lot of human support, dedicated to replacing the monarchy with a republic
Praetorian Effervescent Rainbows - nobody knows this secret society’s true goals; new recruits are told whatever they want to hear