- Member Since 12th May, 2015
- offline last seen Feb 20th, 2022
Shadow rift
So why does it always seem to be? Me looking at you, you looking at me. It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all
Shadow rift
Joined 12th May, 2015 ·
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well i enjoy this
Hmm, I'm interested to see more of this British mare and daredevil stallion.
Downvoted because I judge you
6155318
Wow thanks...
6154885
Maybe... I dunno
I will make a deal right here right now. If we can get 20 likes on this story, I will release chapter 3
Its a real great read, I want to know how long it takes for a story to submit fully.
6158761
A while. Don't worry I'm not gonna do that thing most other authors do where they just leave it incomplete for a long time. But there's going to be a lot more content in this story
Give me the next chapter, I'm so pumped to read it
6165579
Gonna need to wait a while on it. In the mean time be sure to tell your friends about it. More support for this story could go a long way
Got it boss man
>Arynnae
pleb
6170650
What?
Uh, I clearly stated that this story contained an Aryanne much different then most are accustomed to
6170663
The name is a play on words. Changing the name kind of kills the joke.
6171568
Changing who's name?
6171568
Does it ruin the story?
6171572
I'm not going to weigh in on the story. But Aryanne is a joke on the Aryan race.
It's a nazi joke, and like it or not there is some level of parody you have to have when making a fic about a nazi horse.
But I will tell you this: Having a main character like this "Shadow Rift, a daredevil thrill junkie," is not gonna get you any favors.
You basically start off by saying: This is my dark mysterious OC who loves thrills and is never afraid, but now he's being taken down by a _____"
It's cliche, not by malice, but because we want to see our characters in a good light. We want our characters to be awesome and cool, but sometimes it just doesn't work. They fall into a mold of 90s brand cool. And I'm basing all this off the first sentence of your description, it immediately makes me not want to look into it anymore.
My advice, tread lightly and make your main character relateable if you plan to do romance. And don't make the counterpart too out of place. It sounds like you made a nazi British, which kinda goes against the established idea of nazi horse.
Little bit of personal warning. Don't jump into mature rated stories. Get a grasp of the PG aspects of storytelling, then move towards mature rated stuff.
TL:DR
Aryanne is a play on the word Aryan, and I think your story might have other issues. But, we all start somewhere.
6171880
Thanks for the info. It really helps, especially if I'm going anywhere with this story, which, by the way things are going right now, I can't quite say whether to throw in the towel or keep going after all these mistakes
6171975
Could always start from scratch. Look back through your own story though, because if you wouldn't want to read it, it might need to be changed.
Or just keep going with it. It's your story, I'm just here to explain Aryame and the downvotes.
6171988
Time to grab my lucky coin
If Arynnae were voiced, what would she sound like?
6669564
Good question...
I haven't really thought of it. Maybe like Octavia? A soft British voice is all that really comes to mind. Might I ask why?
6171988 I love that picture you got Sir Hat.
6669737 But shes german
7219937
This is a different one from the other well known Nazi regime personality.
Why are their so many dislikes? This story is amazing! The only thing I can think of is your dialogue problems.
7221620
I like to think of it like this:
Hey! 18 more people like this than hate this!
question: are you thinking of or are you going to finish this cause I read it before I was a member and liked/loved it and was just wondering if there was going to be more?
7527407
There is a possibility. I've been working on a chapter for the longest time, but the artist I contacted for artwork for the chapter has not replied back. And I'm starting to get the feeling they never will.
I plan on contacting yet another artist for the work, but until that happens, this is gonna be in Hiatus.
7527456 okay cool, I was worried that it had died or something like that.
Srsly?
8205691
An explanation/excuse is not gonna be given. Believe me, even I got sick of how terribly this one was going...