So why does it always seem to be? Me looking at you, you looking at me. It's always the same, it's just a shame, that's all
Rarity, Ponyville's greatest dress maker, has been working day and night (literally) to finish her latest creation. With it finally done, she decides to let sleep take her and enters the dream world of her mind
Too bad somepony else has decided to pay her a visit as well...
This is my first story, I am open to criticism but not hate
It is a repost of a story of the same name on pastebin.com by myself
http://pastebin.com/MF0uGH5a
Page generated in 0.083 seconds
Total duration
821 users online
460,344 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Edgy
5990487
Thanks. It's a first story, has issues, and it's short, but hopefully someone out there will enjoy this story
Really? This story sucks THAT MUCH?
Well, I have a lot to think about...
You have a good concept going here. I think the only problem is in the execution. You could be a little more free with your descriptions, don't be afraid to form a multi-sentence paragraph or two. I'm noticing a lot of single sentence paragraphs, you might want to combine a few or expand on them.
5992338
Thanks! It's a first story though, I can try to go ask and re edit it in the near future, if anyone really wanted it
the what? What is it called? We must know!
Also, only two periods in this entire thing, and only one ! And one ? Makes only four end punctuation marks…
Something strange is going on here…
6103320
It was a re-upload of a pastebin story I made. It's full of problems and I was either too tired or lazy to try and fix it. Maybe on day I will fix it, it's only a first story though.
This was pretty good.
7221780
Please don't inflate my ego.
Will check out later. Again, thanks for taking my request.
It's a... interesting story. However, I feel as there's a lot of detail missing. Don't get me wrong, That doesn't mean I hate the story. I find it quite interesting. I can see why it has mixed results. I would ask for a editor and it will fix all your problems. I hope this helped
7449530
Helps a lot more than you think. Although going back and re writing this may or may not be seen in the future. This was more of a way of getting myself out there. Albeit not the best way, but it worked... A little...
7449818 Glad to be of help.
7449828
Glad to hear all types of criticism.