>Arynnae
pleb

6170650
What?
Uh, I clearly stated that this story contained an Aryanne much different then most are accustomed to

6170663
The name is a play on words. Changing the name kind of kills the joke.

6171568
Changing who's name?

6171568
Does it ruin the story?

6171572
I'm not going to weigh in on the story. But Aryanne is a joke on the Aryan race.

It's a nazi joke, and like it or not there is some level of parody you have to have when making a fic about a nazi horse.

But I will tell you this: Having a main character like this "Shadow Rift, a daredevil thrill junkie," is not gonna get you any favors.

You basically start off by saying: This is my dark mysterious OC who loves thrills and is never afraid, but now he's being taken down by a _____"

It's cliche, not by malice, but because we want to see our characters in a good light. We want our characters to be awesome and cool, but sometimes it just doesn't work. They fall into a mold of 90s brand cool. And I'm basing all this off the first sentence of your description, it immediately makes me not want to look into it anymore.

My advice, tread lightly and make your main character relateable if you plan to do romance. And don't make the counterpart too out of place. It sounds like you made a nazi British, which kinda goes against the established idea of nazi horse.

Little bit of personal warning. Don't jump into mature rated stories. Get a grasp of the PG aspects of storytelling, then move towards mature rated stuff.

TL:DR
Aryanne is a play on the word Aryan, and I think your story might have other issues. But, we all start somewhere.

6171880
Thanks for the info. It really helps, especially if I'm going anywhere with this story, which, by the way things are going right now, I can't quite say whether to throw in the towel or keep going after all these mistakes

6171975
Could always start from scratch. Look back through your own story though, because if you wouldn't want to read it, it might need to be changed.

Or just keep going with it. It's your story, I'm just here to explain Aryame and the downvotes.

6171988
Time to grab my lucky coin